violetr
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Posts posted by violetr
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All of the poly people I know are bizarrely impressed with circus arts (silks, magic, etc.). I don't know what the correlation is, but it's there.
Haha...I've known some of these too. I think it's because they tend to be creative and theatrical. Lots of actors and artists and yes, Ren Faire types. Lookswise Evan would absolutely fit in! He should probably learn how to kiss, though.
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Chad is SO VERY BORING. I do not get all the hoopla surrounding this idiot.
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And similarly, what in the world do those girls see in Asaf? Especially with those overalls.... plus I guess I just haven't liked him since he was on SYTYCD. I don't like this crossover shizzle between shows, they're not even on the same network.
He's an idiot, but he is beautiful. Totally not the type I go for, but when he first auditioned on SYTYCD my jaw dropped. His personality is a total turn off, though. However, dumb as he is, I actually don't get the impression that he's a terrible person. He did seem to feel genuinely guilty about his drunken hook up. Israeli men tend to be super macho, so the fact that he's capable of showing any remorse or sensitivity was a surprise. Man, am I actually defending Asaf?? I seriously need to get a life.
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I finished the season last night and I have a few thoughts. First off, I think this season was amazing. I'm really glad I watched it because I thought last season was pretty weak. Man, did they bring it back. Good job, writers! Beautifully written and acted, and so SO timely.
Because we're all so focused on what happened with Poussey (and rightly so), I do think a few important character arcs/plots have been glossed over a bit. To wit, I gotta give major props to Lori Petty who plays Lolly. I think she was absolutely brilliant this season. She was funny when she needed to be, tragic when she needed to be, and so very sympathetic. She is absolutely someone who slipped through the cracks of a seriously damaged healthcare system, and it was so hard to watch. She had a career and a life - just not the right avenues or support system to get help. And it ruined her life. On the right meds she could still be a reporter, FFS. So sad.
QuoteThis whole season has me very conflicted but I think the whole pennsatucky/rapist thing is going over a lot of heads. I think she was dealing with a lot of conflicting feelings about him and at the end when they kissed and he said what he said, it clicked for her. Boo was right. She dodged a bullet and no matter how sorry he claims to be, he is still and will always be a rapist.
This is the other thing that's been on my mind a lot since I watched the finale. Like many people, I have a zero tolerance policy toward rape. Or do I? The way this played out, I was almost starting to think that perhaps it is possible for a rapist to realize his mistake and become a decent human being. I really don't know. I believe in second chances, but some things you just can't come back from. I always thought rape was one of them, but if you are really contrite and realize the horrible thing you did, can you be forgiven? I just don't know.
As for Poussey's wild, wonderful night in NYC, I don't get why it can't be both real AND an afterlife metaphor. It's fiction - perfectly ok to be multilayered!
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Okay yeah, this season is BORING. JoJo seems like a nice enough person and I love that she loves dogs, but she is seriously dullsville. I kinda miss Kaitlyn now, even though I hated that lunkhead she chose at the end.
I don't get Robby at all. He looks like an off-brand Ken doll. His hair seriously looks plastic.
I'd date James T. I think he's sweet and cute and humble, and sometimes those guys are very attentive in the boudoir. You have one fan, James!
As a huge animal lover, I was a little uncomfortable with the laying down of the horse. I googled the practice and it looks to be fairly common, although somewhat controversial. Apparently it doesn't generally hurt the horse physically, but a lot of equine experts (hee) feel that it creates "tonic immobility," wherein the animal experiences temporary paralysis in response to external stimuli, often some sort of perceived threat. I don't think I'd want to witness it in person.
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I really liked this episode. Although I still think Season 1 was stronger (so far) as a whole, this is the first ep of this season that really had me riveted. As deeply damaged and narcissistic as Quinn is, she does care about Rachel. She can't help herself. I think someone upthread said something along the lines of Quinn both caring for Rachel and wanting to sabotage her, and I think that's spot on.
And on a shallow note, Quinn (Constance Zimmer) looked STUNNING in that black and gold dress. Holy wow!
And on a not-shallow note:
QuoteI really don't think it would. There is a whole complicated conversation to be had about this but suffice it to say white man with woman of color is more of the norm than the reverse.
I promise I'm not trying to be argumentative and I know we're veering off topic, but this is patently untrue. And there's social science research to back it up.
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This show is so oddly understated but I really like it. So far I think Season 2 is better than Season 1. Situations keep *not* being predictable, and I really appreciate that. Ex-girlfriend Sarah wasn't crazy - just angry and hurt. Alex's BBQ went just fine, instead of becoming a "Modern Family"-style disaster. And I'm loving Xanthippe from "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" as Laura's new BFF/possible GF (I suspect it won't end well, but maybe the show will defy my expectations again). And Leon is just completely awesome. Love him as the show's moral center.
One small point of contention - Alex's beard. It's so janky I find it distracting.
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Oooo, Jordan's ugly side came out when he got tattled on. I love it how he sounded completely arrogant and entitled while trying to convince everyone that he's not arrogant and entitled. He's a dick. Pretty, though.
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I happen to think Jordan is ridiculously pretty....and a complete phony. He is so not interested in JoJo. But he has the upper hand and will use it all the way until the end. Oh Jo, I feel you girl. I used to go for the ones who weren't into me, too. Then I got older and finally developed some self-esteem. These folks are all just so young.
QuoteI wish Jojo would stop wearing evening gowns with cutouts in them.
I'm actually digging her sense of style, especially her jewelry. That huge geode ring and the multi-tiered necklace she was wearing during her dinner with Jordan were gorgeous. WANT.
QuoteMy pit bull is MUCH cooler than Alex ;) He's more of a Wells.
Mine is kind of like Alex - short, and so insecure that she tends to pick fights with other dogs. She was a rescue so we don't know what trauma is in her past. We don’t let her around other dogs anymore. Maybe that would work for Alex, too? :)
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That's just it. At the beginning, contestants truly didn't know what they were getting into. But there have been enough BTS articles, shows, etc., that you'd have to be really, really naive to have no clue.
Yep, I think that describes a lot of Americans! If someone like Olivia Caridi - who was a newscaster in Austin - could be that naive as to how she could be edited, just imagine how naive someone from, say, a farm in rural Arkansas might be? I think this is why we still seem to have an endless supply of Bachelor/Bachelorette candidates. People just don't know what they hell they're getting themselves into. YMMV though, of course!
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"I don't understand how someone could want to further abuse an abuse victim." Because they sign up for it. I hate to take the side of the monsters of Unreal but... everyone is a grown up and everyone who signs up for these shows has the ability to say no after reading the contract. The real people like Brandy who sign up for these shows are doing so because they are financially compensated at the very least. Even the first Survivor off the island gets a paycheck and in this world, you DO NOT have to be on a reality tv show to make a nice living or to get famous. After years and years of reality shows, only fools go into these shows thinking they will be the different one who doesn't get the horrific edit. It's hard to have any sympathy for the contestants, on this show or in real life reality shows, because sure, they have their damage and their sad backgrounds, and damn if they aren't ready and willing to spill it all out on national tv for money.
From what I've read, one of the biggest fallacies about reality TV among viewers is the old "I don't feel bad for them, they signed up for this" canard. I've never been on a reality TV show and never would (I can barely stand to have my picture taken!), but for the most part I think folks who sign up for these shows have no idea what they're getting into. Stupid and naive? Sure. Deserving of whatever befalls them when they get there? I don't think so.
They *think* they know what they're getting into. And I'm sure a lot of them think they can game the system. Some of the savvier contestants even succeed on occasion. But unless you've been behind the scenes, my impression is that you can't really know what you're getting into until you're there. Just my 2 cents based on things I've read from producers and former contestants over the years.
QuoteI didn't know the dog was Chet's in real life! I was thinking through the episode last night, "gee, that dog is awfully well trained to stay hanging around a stranger slamming stuff around." i couldnt figure out how the dog would look so worshipfully at Chet, and also look so sad when Chet was upset. Makes sense now.
I didn't know this either! Now I feel less bad for the dog when she jumped when Chet threw the phone to the ground. She probably just thought, "Oh that's just my dad being dramatic again."
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Huh. I get this weird feeling that you don't like James Franco? Not sure why.
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Luckily all the armchair psychologists that have diagnosed Chad's dangerous psychosis this season can join all the medical professionals that diagnosed Olivia's mental illnesses last season and Ashley Salter's in Chris Soules season.
I never "armchair diagnosed" either Olivia or Ashley, but even so, I don't think you can compare them to Chad. You can be naive and make poor decisions on these shows, and then be edited poorly (or in Ashley's case, weirdly). But excusing Chad's behavior makes me think of all those politicians who say terrible things and then later insist that their comments were taken out of context. Dude, you still said horrible [racist/sexist/homophobic, etc.] things! Unless the editors deliberately switched around the structure of your sentences (possible I suppose), you said those things.
Now granted, perhaps Chad is punking all of us and this is completely an act. In that case: go Chad! Good on you! But otherwise, IMO repeatedly resorting to threats and intimidation is a pretty good indicator that you're a messed up person. YMMV, as always.
QuoteI find the far-reaching excuses for his verbal violence, threats, and intimidation pretty offensive - particularly when they are coupled with aggressive and contemptuous comments for the less built men, like Evan, calling him 'a whiny little bitch,' etc. But I guess my brand of feminism is a bit old-fashioned.
I think you are firmly third wave! :)
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And come on Ashley, he is an annoyed drunk, he wasn't upturning tables. I get that a lot of anger issues may start small and progress, but I didn't see anything more than a guy who got a little too into his cups and became obnoxious. If it got/gets worse than that I think she has cause for concern, but I just didn't see it.
Yeah but that's the thing. Since it's reality TV, there may have been hours and hours of footage of him acting like a total dick. They may just have chosen not to show it to us in order to create a specific story line. Then again maybe not, but you just never know.
QuoteThat guy is just everything I find distasteful in a man. The hipster/jazzy fedora....the ironic throwback tee shirt with the bikini girl on it. My eyes are itching to roll every time he is on screen.
I've been known to have a weakness for this type, but something is off about Taylor. He doesn't seem right for this show. It's an uncomfortable fit, and to boot Lisa is definitely not into him.
I think both Ben and Michelle kinda suck. He comes across to me as an arrogant playboy type (without really having the charisma to back it up) and she seems insecure and controlling.
Alex can go away any moment now. Just no.
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This show's first season garnered enough good will with me that I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, but I agree with a lot of you that so far this season seems messy and unfocused. The Chet interference is really bothering me. I feel like we don't need it to make the show exciting and interesting. It's just one plot line too many. I have no problem with Chet still being an annoying and meddling presence in the realm of both Everlasting and Quinn's life, but on this level it's just too much.
I'm also annoyed that Quinn isn't fighting back against Chet harder. I know that he has the ear of the network and that she's somewhat hamstrung by this, but I still feel like she's being too easy on him. It seems the implication is that she's still hung up on him on some level, as evidenced by the look on her face when he said she had no idea what it was to be a "wifey." Maybe I'm bothered because I never quite understood why a woman of her talent and determination would ever go for such a hot mess of a guy. I guess it's supposed to be some sort of proof that she herself is damaged and has self-esteem issues.
QuoteDarius is still incredibly hard to read as a character - is he a good guy, is he a bad guy, is he something else? I knew early on what Adam was - spoiled gigolo with moral values and a heart- but I don't yet know what his character is going to be.
This is bothering me, too. I really hope he develops as a complex, layered character. What a sad irony it would be if he's just a party-loving NFL idiot with an entourage and nothing more.
I have a lot of faith in this show and I'll keep watching, but so far it's just not on par with Season 1. Hell, I'll keep watching just for Quinn's character - I think Constance Zimmer is EVERYTHING in this role. But It would be another sad irony if network interference actually winds up damaging the show's quality and diluting its message.
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Awesome mic drop, kingshearte.
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Chad is a very sick man.
What a strange show we are watching.
Right? I've watched an embarrassing amount of reality TV over the years and have seen my fair share of toxic masculinity on display, but this guy is up there with the sickest/scariest. The fact that he appears to have an actual fan base is even more disturbing. I don't know why I subject myself to this but I cannot look away!
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Sharleen likes someone who is articulate and eloquent, yet she was all over Juan Pablo???
She was SO not into Juan Pablo! She thought he was sexy and liked making out with him, but she LEFT THE SHOW because she found him impossible to even have a conversation with.
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I just read Sharleen Joynt's Flare recap for this ep and I LOVED what she had to say about Derek vs. Chad:
QuoteDerek really won me over last night in his confrontation with Chad. Hot-headed, meat-headed Chad barreled towards Derek full of accusations and insults, but Derek smacked him down SO HARD by being calm, articulate, and not at all defensive. Seriously, he talked eloquent circles around Chad. It was my kind of hot. (Some girls like abs and arms. I like words. What can I say?) I have a small crush on Derek. Who, for the record, ALSO HAS ABS AND ARMS.
Although I'm not particularly into Derek, I agree that a man who's calm, confident and articulate is way hotter than some roided out muscle douche.
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I don't think I'd stretch calling someone "naggy" to meaning that he is a misogynist. That's an extremely low bar.
Not to me, but fair point that we all define these things differently.
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To Falafel's point (excellent post by the way!), have we actually seen Chad be misogynistic?
The obvious example was when he told JoJo she was starting to sound naggy simply because she wanted a compliment. It's that whole PUA POV of thinking that you have to put a woman down and make her feel bad about herself in order to gain any real traction with her (i.e., get her into bed). This is essentially misogyny personified.
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And as non-PC as it is to admit, there is still something about an alpha male that appeals, even though aspects of it repel as well.
Believe it or not I actually agree. As a staunch feminist I am somewhat embarrassed to admit it, but I am often drawn to alphas. My husband is one, but he is sweet and kind. I think Jordan is an alpha - just not a violent one. He seems cool and confident (If he's really a homophobe all bets are off, but that's a different conversation). Chad is the worst kind of alpha - misogynistic, violent, angry, and deeply insecure. Good riddance (I hope)!
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QuoteAnd Jo Jo - what a BITCH!!! Even if she does not like Chad, the way she said "i am going to say goodbye here" or words to that effect...gets up and turns her back on him and walls off! BITCH! how classless and totally lacking manners. I lost all respect for her then and there.
Yeah, no. She rightly lost all respect for him when she discovered how violent and psychopathic he was. He deserves zero respect. She owed him nothing.
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Chad may be cray but he is HOT. His 'roided up body is fire and that sexy glare thing he does....he's just the kind of bad boy every woman lets break her heart at least once.
Not this woman! Violent, veiny, dead-eyed misogynist has never been my cup of tea. I find him completely disgusting.
As for the other guys, I get why JoJo is into Jordan - he is so very pretty. I don't even mind his hair, but then again I like a little hipster in my guy. He also seemed utterly unintimidated by Chad, which I loved. Although I did respect Derek for saying yes, he is frightened of Chad. That doesn't make him weak - it makes him smart and honest. I like Grant as a person but I can't get past his Dudley Do-Right lantern jaw. Also can't get past Robby's uber-coiffed hair. And don't get my started on Vinny's look - good god that's unattractive. I still think James T. and Wells are cute.
Clearly Weird Daniel is being kept around for the humor. That tag at the end with Evan was comedy gold.
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S03.E04: Week 3, Night 1
in Bachelor In Paradise
I don't know why but I like the twins.
Nick remains hot and has a cute sense of humor. I don't get why these girls aren't into him.
Josh makes me want to vomit, and those sound effects are not helping, editors. ::shudder::
Caila looks like a Disney princess so of course the guys like her.
Wtf, Evan. I liked you when you were calling phony Josh out on his stupid, meaningless platitudes, but the rest of the time you acted like a total creeper.