procrasstinator

Or is Meri not going to say anything disparaging about Kody and Robyn publicly because she knows the best way to get a fair financial settlement is to keep things as calm as possible? I don't believe that Meri thinks everything will be fine on its own. There was that other scene (last season?) where Meri made the same comment Janelle was so desperately trying to warn her about that there was only one section of the property with her name on it. In order to work this out with Kody I get Meri wanting to maintain a false front. The last thing that would help Meri or Janelle in this situation is for Kody to have any excuse to go on about how he's been betrayed and blindsided--there is no reasoning with him when he's like that. And Meri has shown that she is very skillful at managing Kody and his reactions. Like that scene at CP where Robyn offered to speak Kody for Meri. Meri politely turned her down and then proceeded to compliment Kody for a prior conversation--placating him by feeding his ego. Meri is no fool. I think her behavior is deliberate and calculated to get the result she wants with as little grief (aka bitching) from Kody as possible.

No doubt Kody is telling his version of the truth with this. The problem is not that Kody is uncomplicated, the problem is that his thinking is distorted. Rather than accepting his responsibility as a father to establish relationships with his children, he has shirked off that responsibility to his wives. I'm thinking in particular of the time when he was depending on Christine to arrange for Isabel to get a covid test so he could visit her. I think Christine had been out of town at the time and told Kody just call Isabel and tell her when he wanted to plan a visit and then Isabel can arrange to take a test. Isabel I think was 17 or maybe 18 at the time and had all of her information. But no, even a simple phone call/text was too much for Kody to arrange and he just couldn't figure out why Christine couldn't just arrange things for him. There's being honest and straightforward and then there's Kody too clueless about the fact that other people actually have feelings. Whining about how Janelle never gave him any sympathy when he was sick, when he never gave her one iota of sympathy, care, consideration etc when she was sick. But when he was sick oh the world was coming to an end? If he's looking for someone to be angry at he should maybe look at himself first.

I think you're on to something here. I'm wondering if this is why Kody can't seem to get over his anger at Christine. What will Robyn and Kody complain about then? Christine has been their scapegoat for so long how will they manage without her? Of course, people sometimes stay angry at their exes for a long time after a divorce. Just what Kody was doing during the tell all going on about how he wouldn't let it go that Christine trashed talked him to the kids. Grasping at straws to fill the void that is his relationship with Robyn?

This stood out to me too. I think this fits with the narcissistic traits Kody has shown. Christine and Janelle talking about how Kody's "love" was conditional for them. Kody's confusion during the breakup conversation with Christine makes sense. K: I never said we'd never be intimate again, I said we'll see. Holding something back that he thinks Christine wants for leverage because that's probably worked in the past. Except Christine actually paid attention in therapy and knew what she wanted and what she would accept and enforced her boundary. That loss of power and control really bothers someone with narcissistic tendencies. This whole I just want to disappear, change my name, start over, leave everything behind also shows narcissistic tendencies. Either he's the center of attention and adoration or he doesn't exist. This nonsense about Kody not understanding why he's so angry--it's called narcissistic rage. When people stop giving him supply, and then actually walk away from him, narcissistic rage is the result. Narcissistic rage of course is a defense against feeling that sense of inner nothingness. I would say he needs counseling but it's hardly likely to do much good. Narcissistic tendencies don't respond well in therapy generally.

The personality test reminded me of 16personalities.com. This is an online personality test based on the psychological scale using OCEAN. Diplomat is one of the possible personality types. I take this test every year when teaching my high school psychology course and my personality always comes out the same description. The students also say the test is a pretty accurate description of their personality. So if this is the test they took, I would say it's fairly accurate.

Yes, this. And IMHO if this was all for the sake of the younger children, 9 pm seems like a pretty late hour for young kids to be up and about. Not that I'm implying that Robyn is not a good mother, I'm just saying....

That's how people with damaged personalities operate. My sister was just like Ed. Would never take responsibility for anything. Instead would redirect the blame onto the other person. Ed used the same tactic to deal with Jenny when she tried to explain to him how his behavior was hurtful to Liz. "Oh your comment was rude" he kept on repeating. So he turns the criticism or blame onto Jenny so she either tries to defend herself by saying "How was I rude" enabling Ed to avoid the discussion of his hurtful behavior or she tries to get through to him which won't work because he'll just keep repeating his criticism "I'm not discussing this with you because you were rude to me" to the point where Jenny gives up in frustration. Either way Ed distracts from the issue and refuses to look at his own behavior. With my sister it was an overwhelming sense of unworthiness that she couldn't bear to face so she developed these nasty behaviors as a defense mechanism. It was a shame really because the only person who thought she was totally unworthy was herself. But yeah people like my sister and Ed can't admit to anything they've done wrong ever. Like Ed was saying he would deny he was cheating forever.

Lol. I thought Robyn made some comment that she needed a nanny because she respected Kody's time??? That she wouldn't expect Kody to help her so she needed a nanny. How many children did Christine look after on her own without Kody's help, and then when she also worked part time she dared to ask Kody to tuck the kids in at night (they were in one house in Lehi at the time) and then Kody describes Christine as never being happy unless she was getting more than her fair share. And Robyn's fair share is to get paid (I'm assuming here) help when none of the other wives were given that?

Poor Robyn indeed. I can see how her statement can be read that way. To me it came across arrogantly, "Even I" (the favorite one) don't have that with Kody.

What Robyn was saying was that it was their own fault that Kody was spending all of his time with her because they didn't protect the special thing they had with Kody. "They each have something with Kody that I don't even have". Full of herself very much so.

Yes except that Kody is extremely lazy. He expects all of the details to be worked out for him by someone else. I'm thinking of Kody talking to Christine during COVID to arrange a visit with Ysabel while Christine was gone. Kody was asking if Ysabel had gone for COVID testing (this was in the days before home tests were available). Christine said no because Ysabel didn't know when Kody would be over so she wasn't going to go for testing every day. And then Kody was asking Christine to call and make an appointment for Ysabel. Christine was saying well Ysabel can do that herself just call her and let her know when you are wanting to visit. Then Kody was complaining that Christine wouldn't do that for him. Yeah the kids really are the easy part, hey Kody. He can't even pick up the phone and call his daughter that's beyond him. Basic child care beyond him.

I live in a monogamous world and have never seen a soul mate relationship. I’ve known about the concept almost all my life. I’ve never seen a relationship between two soul mates ever and I’m 58.

I found Kody's speech about Janelle really strange, "She suffered more in plural marriage than the other wives. She came in idealistically and ended up shattered by the experience in plural marriage". Janelle: "Part of me thinks okay my religion requires that you continue to try to make a marriage work. And I deeply believe in my faith. And I have been so deeply at peace I don't know how to reconcile that because I know I'm happy". Doesn't sound like a shattered person to me.

Yeah that seemed really odd to me too. The only thing I can think of that maybe relates to this is that episode where Janelle and Kody had gone camping somewhere and Janelle was saying she wasn't comfortable being very touchy feely and saying Kody didn't like that because he didn't feel loved. So I think Janelle was saying it was something she was working on. I think it would maybe have been in season 1 or 2?

Just an observation. When Robyn was watching the clip of Christine and Kody's discussion about comparing relationships, Robyn's face goes from its usual RBF to a half smile when Christine says, "I feel like Robyn is more important" [to Kody]. Another observation. When Sukyana was trying to get Kody to actually understand Christine's point of view saying, "[Christine] wanted that connection [that Robyn has] with you" and Kody replies with "Does that make Robyn and I bad?" and "All of everyone is looking at that as some kind of unfairness. That's the danger of polygamy". No the danger is Kody's emotional dishonesty in trying to avoid criticism. The way he projects his sense of guilt onto other people is abusive--trying to suggest that there was something wrong with Christine and Janelle when they tried to have relationship discussions with him. In Christine's words she had never been aware of what a soul mate relationship looked like and she was never aware that there was anything more to be had in a marriage than what she had with Kody. Okay situations change, people change that's part of life. The unfairness of the situation is trying to lie about what really is going on. Kody has a favorite wife does that make him or Robyn bad. No. Does lying about it and pointing fingers while ranting and raving at Janelle and Christine make them bad? Yes, yes it does.