yousetmeupyoucrud

Tori was the only one not checked out cuz she was the one with the least amount of post-90210 career options.

I want to time travel to my 21 year old self and yell "he doesn't waaaant yooooou-uh!" and then smash whatever Neutral Milk Hotel record I was listening to.

Uggggh I knooooooow. I hope the ladies hang in there at least until Brandon leaves. Which by the way why didn't the show get canceled when Brandon left? The whole premise of the show was "two Midwest doofuses move to Beverly Hills and bray at everyone" and then neither of the doofuses was around anymore but the show kept on going like some kind of tossy turny sweat drenched movie nightmare.

Lucinda's gas station empanadas.

Why... are... these... seasons... sooo... looooooooong?! I feel like there's no hope for truth and justice in the world until I find out the answer. Tracy is really horribly lacking in dignity, but then again I was pretty pathetic when I was in college. It's hard to remember these people are supposed to be college-aged though cuz everyone is in their 30s and they never have classes and are always on vacation.

Also they're rich, it's probably a really nice facility with a fountain in the lobby and he has his own room with a balcony. It's not like he would be going to the kind of place that would be exposed as a death factory on 60 Minutes.

I'm definitely confused as to why these seasons were so long. And also why this season wasn't the last one. Did anyone really care anymore? My bf suggested the it was the liver spotted hand of Aaron Spelling controlling Fox but I don't know. He probably didn't care either!

Why is Brandon all worried and indecisive about his post-college plans DIDNT HE WIN THAT STUPID FELLOWSHIP? That was this season! The writers can't even remember what they wrote about in the same season!

TIT BUSINESS

Hey, remember way back in season whatever (five I think) when Val's mom was going to check herself into a hospital and Val was like "Who's going to take care of Pert and Suzy?" and Tara hypothesized that Pert and Suzy were dogs? I wonder what happened to them.

That German jeweler is probably wanted for war crimes. All that jewelry probably came from dead people! I LOL'd hard when Sarah said Kelly should throw it into the sea along with herself tied to a sack of bricks. Tracy should really do the same with that stupid consolation prize bracelet. You know, with Kelly's shitty psychoanalysis of Donna and Tracy's general idiot behavior, I'm starting to think CU is maybe not a very good school.

I actually thought the actor who played Noah was only on the show BECAUSE he was dating Tori Spelling and it was like the nadir of Hollywood nepotism and it broke one of the seven seals and that's how 9/11 happened.

I just want to chime in and say while Michelle Phillips is no Meryl Streep or anything, the scenes she has with Tiffani Hyphen Name are the only ones in the show right now that don't seem like they were filmed during a carbon monoxide leak. I remember Danny Drennan being like, "can this just be the Val And Val's Mom Show?" It would be really over the top and soapy but it would still probably be better than any of Donna's anything.

you gotta wonder if the people behind the scenes were all celeb-obsessed sycophants or they're all cringing and face-palming all the time.

Is this the episode where a bumbling Donna says to Clare after the security system freaks out "you know, we should really start using that thing?" Stop trying to act, Tori. Everyone knows you can't. Also if it's going off then aren't they...using it?

I remember Kelly's stupid amnesia because when it aired (I was in high school and a big hatewatcher) I literally screamed at my TV because amnesia is the soapiest of soap tropes and they just had to go there. Also I'm pretty sure she gets shot because Brandon was getting in a dick contest with some other guy, like how has no one tried to kill him?! It's like he's begging for it! As far as this episode goes, does anyone else think Donna's sudden playin tough/reverse psychology turn at the end of the episode was out of character? When has she ever not acted like a 5 year old? Oh and I was recently revisiting the Emily Valentine episodes; her stalkery behavior lasts ONE EPISODE. If the season 7 writers had done it there would've been an extra two years worth of mysterious letters to The Blaze and hang ups at Casa Walsh!

Does Kelly no longer care about her rep now that she isn't in high school? Because going after Tom to make Val mad kind of seems like something a slut would do.

The actor who plays Garret also plays Weird Al's buddy/straight man in UHF and I just cannot get that out of my head. The actor who plays Evan looks like Martin Shkreli