yousetmeupyoucrud

I think one of the best things ever said on this podcast is when a meeting between Samantha Sanders and Mrs. Teasley was described as, I think "a starfleet battle in the Revlon aisle." As someone who ended a marriage a few years ago (and it really does make you feel like a huge loser failure), I got a few "go to counseling" "try it again" comments from people that made me angry and they were delivered to me with 900 percent more tact and sensitivity than how Brandon was talking to Andrea. I was really glad that she tore into him though she should have LITERALLY torn into him, like disemboweled him, for being such a "cockwinkle." Frankly if I were Andrea's friend and found out she was splitting up with the guy she got shotgun-married to during her freshman year of college after he threatened to dump her if she had an abortion I'd be like "yeah I saw that coming!" and then take her out to get drunk and talk shit about him. As for my high school reunions, I graduated early so I'm not officially part of any graduating class, but even so passing my old high school gives me PTSD so no thanks!

LOL, Mrs. Teasley walks by it and makes a "mmhmmm" face and then nods "no" to the janitor as he walks toward her with his power tools.

I watched Mother May I Sleep With Danger recently and it is like The Room level bad.

I call no way on a school like West Beverly not sandblasting over that "Kelly Is A Slut" graffito like within a week of it showing up. It's not an impoverished inner city high school for crying out loud. The janitor that gave Steve the legacy key probably took care of it years ago. I'm also amazed that the writers got Kelly's rapist's name and graduating year right, especially since we were told in that one episode that it was Steve who was responsible for Kelly's reputation.

If I remember correctly (this was only like one season ago!!!!!!) Kelly was like, "I guess I'm ready to have a baby!" and then she miscarried, though she was dumb enough to think it was her period.

Kelly is so infuriating in this episode. She's as much of a big dumb baby as Donna is. I can't believe she brought that baby to work! It's not an orphaned squirrel she can keep in a shoebox on her desk! As much as all the other characters on this show are also terrible, Kelly gets lots of bonus terrible points for being the least like a 23 year old of any of the gang. Except for maybe Steve and his hair plugs. Also, can you get a more dated plot line than a radio payola scam?

I didn't even think of that! Who knows what prescription drugs Felice has been using for funzies this whole time! It occurred to me the other day that we're still in the same season as when Kelly got amnesia. THE SAME SEASON. The poor judgement these characters display must be a reflexion of the poor judgement of the Fox execs who kept giving this flaming paper bag of yorkie poop more seasons.

I think we can all agree that Val makes no sense and her plot lines and character arc should be universally taught as exactly how NOT to write a TV show. And yet, she's still the best character on this entire fucking show.

I agree. I was so happy to get a nice long episode this week. Keep up the good work!

Did no one learn anything when David swiped Vicodin from his dad’s office back in college?

Nothing makes me LOL IRL like the insane out-of-nowhere slams into the "DUH NA NA NUH" of the theme song. Musician cop note: cheaper recording rates at night are totally a thing. I'm not really sure why, I know that (especially back in the 90s) fancier studios are booked during the day with people doing jingles and soundtracks and stuff. Either way, I've had friends who've recorded at hot shit studios in the middle of the night for really cheap. Not sure why David can't do this anyway, like isn't being a musician his job right now? Jeez, I think I'm a failure sometimes and then David makes me feel so much better.

Five other excuses Terry had for quitting the Beat.

Hearing that Kelly and Brandon get back together in the next episode made me so mad. SO DISTURBING! Also it's cool that 90210 stole a plot from Seinfeld for this "not that there's anything wrong with that" gay panic story. And yeah, I was dreading Noah coming up in the series but I'm really enjoying how awful he is. I had to look up Vincent Young on IMDB to find out if he had a career post-Tori Spelling and he's been on old people shows like NCIS. Oh and Sarah, speaking of Philly accents, he was born in Philly and raised in South Jersey. There's a huge gap in his career from 2010 to 2017 so maybe he was working at a Wawa in Cherry Hill.

Speaking of manes, do you think Zack's lion drawing was a throwback to Steve's old mullet?

Yeah and there's a little tiny bit of "woah dude" when he goes crazy on that woman in the car, but then immediately after that Noah is like "the poor guy is hurting waaaahmp waaaahmp" and then he ends up on Kelly's porch like classic Hobo Clown. His behavior is disturbing on it's own but the fact that he's allowed to get away with it is what's really, really, REALLY disturbing.

Based on this season so far, my “where are they now” story for Brandon is that he’s locked up for the murders of at least three people. What a fucking psychopath. I can’t believe his behavior in this episode is excused. Fuck Brandon, fuck this show, also fuck you Kelly mind your own business and btw Planned Parenthood once gave me one of those tiny pamphlets on abuse, the writers of this show maybe should’ve read one. Also yes, Dr. Jeff asking Kelly out on a date is inappropriate, so is Brandon telling a female employee about his sex life. I hope they all go off a cliff in the same car.

One of St. Kelly’s (Kelly 2.0)defining characteristics I think is that she hates other women. The only bond with another female I think she’s ever made has been with Tara Streetchild. She’s a pretty shitty friend to Donna. She never really seemed to like Clare that much. And of course she hates Valerie. Her plots have pretty much all been about her relationships with men. Basically she’s the worst person ever and Emma should’ve answered that slap with a punch right in Kelly’s stupid cat butt mouth.

Priestley is soooo phoning it in in this story arch. It’s really hard to believe he has any motivation to sleep with Emma. It seems like he’s annoyed with her the whole time and he’s displaying the same furrowed brows of great smug with her that he displays with everyone else. Also Emma/Emily Valentine, fuck you writers. Pick up a baby name book at Walgreens and shut the fuck up.

I had to look it up to be sure, it was the season 6 Halloween episode, the one where Ray becomes Hobo Clown. “Bad Music For Bad People” indeed!

When Val slaps Noah, what the fuck is up with Noah’s sweater?

Not sure how giving Erica an alias in his story but not her pimp protects Erica at all, considering if he did read the article he’d probably be able to figure out who the article is about. Also he deserves all the bad press? Is he a studio exec in his off hours? Are housewives all over BH going to read the Beat and be like “oh no not Riggs!!!!”

I just realized something too. If Kelly had amnesia and had to relearn shit, how did she recognize Erica on the street?

I forgot all about the Jack in Witness Protection garbage. I’m pretty sure that when Dylan returns too he says all this shit about not having lived with Brenda for years and traveling the world and stuff, like the writers forgot all about how Erica goes to live with him, IN LONDON, WITH BRENDA. I really should’ve gone into TV writing cuz if later seasons of 90210 are any indication it’s super fucking easy and requires no talent.

Hey Sarah and Tara, this was a really funny episode. Of the podcast I mean, not the TV show. Although the thought of Aaron Spelling executive producing a show where his daughter shows off her butt cheeks is funny, but not ha-ha funny. So many issues with this episode, but my biggest one is how did they do this paternity test on a fetus? I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works. I would do a google search or something to back it up but I’m not going to let 90210 make me waste my internet time. SHUT UP, SHOW!