MerBearStare

I already hate the term "make love" because I think it's creepy, but Kelly saying it in her baby voice makes it 1000% creepier. Her voice reminds me of what Jan Hooks said about Victoria Jackson, "You're a grown woman. Use your lower register!"

When the crystal meth episodes originally aired, I was in 6th grade and my sister was in 11th grade and she would watch the episodes with me so she could snark on them (but I think she secretly really wanted to watch 90210) and when Kelly and Donna moved out, my sister was like, "Kelly obviously doesn't know anything about leases." So anyway, flash forward 20 years and there was a Judge Judy episode with this very situation and Judge Judy said that you can break a lease if your roommate is doing something illegal in the apartment. Of course I texted my sister and said, "Hey Meg, remember 20 years ago when you said Kelly didn't know anything about leases..." My dad had a Bill Taylor-esque dad and my dad never got a $10,000 check from him, so ya know, it could be worse, Kelly.

Addiction issues usually last much longer, but Kelly was scared straight by the thought of becoming Cousin Bobby's coke whore.

Yes! That Kelly gif was everything I hoped it would be!

This is right before, like six months before, Malibu Shores, my favorite one season Aaron Spelling show (well, tied with Models, Inc.). And of course on that show average-looking, if I'm being generous, Randy Spelling got paired up with the gorgeous Charisma Carpenter. I just remembered, is this the same season Kelly gets SWF-ed by Tara? I keep thinking that her going to rehab is the end of the season, but IIRC she meets Tara in rehab and then there are like 5 episodes with Tara after she and Kelly leave rehab.

I have to say, I did not fully appreciate Susan when these episodes first aired, but I kind of love her now. Even if she TOOK THE JOB. Same goes for Steve. God bless those two. I get where Cindy is coming from as far as not having a life in Hong Kong. I mean, she didn't really have a life in Beverly Hills, until she started making friends, joined the beach club, and went to grad school, but it must be really hard moving to a place where you don't speak the language. I'm sure there were people there who spoke English, since it was a British colony (or something like that) at the time, but it must be hard to do regular, everyday things with that language barrier. And then she's by herself during the day and Jim's at work. I mean, life must have been pretty bad if spending time with Brandon is the most desirable option. (I apologize for using "most desirable" and Brandon in the same sentence.) And if the chasm between Jim and Cindy was as bad as she made it seem, I hardly think some chintzy gold angel is going to suddenly fix everything. I think it's kind of weird that Val's Christmas present for David was a portrait of herself. When she said it last episode, I thought it was either going to be of David or the two of them. But I guess that causes fewer Val and Kelly problems. Speaking of Kel, can't wait to see her roll up her dad's check and snort that coke. It's not as good as Kimberley's wig, but it was probably one of the best/most memorable images on 90210.

Ugh, God I had forgotten about that. It's some child model who wanted to go to the circus instead of doing the photoshoot, so Donna dressed up like a clown (there's a joke in here about Donna's regular makeup and her clown makeup, but I'm not going to make it) and there was so much STUFF.

I don't have much to say about this episode because this stretch of season 6 episodes are soooo boring, but the way Donna and Joe were talking about Lisa's neighborhood reminded me of Patton Oswalt's bit (I think it's from Werewolves and Lollipops) about the ridiculous warning he got as a child about not using a cell phone in black or Latino neighborhoods "because they'll know you're rich and will kill you." It's that same sort of white panic about being in a non-white neighborhood, even if it's the middle of the day and it's not even a sketchy part of town. Bless their hearts.

Sarah is not a crackpot. Mock turtlenecks are awful. Wear a regular turtleneck (which is still iffy) or go no higher than a crew neck.

I'm going to defend Kelly and Brandon, which I know is controversial, but I think they are right(-ish) in this situation. All Val saw was a hug and then she assumed the rest. And her assumptions were wrong. I don't think she should have used this to mess with Brandon because 1.) they're supposed to be friends and 2.) she's living in his parents' house. Kind of awkward to do this to someone who you have to see everyday. Now, if it looked like Kelly cheated with someone else, go ahead and tell Colin (but I still think Kelly has a right to be salty about it in that situation), but in trying to mess with Kelly, she's also hurting her roommate and close friend. Val's plans to fuck with Kelly always seem either only half thought out or will clearly bite her in the ass, but she's always so focused on messing with Kelly that she can't see that.

I could be mistaken, but I think later in this season Joe finds out he has some kind of heart condition and that he's at risk if he continues to play football. But regardless, he still could have dropped football but stayed in school instead of moving back home.

I don't want to start a beef or anything, but I must defend Thanksgiving because it is my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving is the best holiday because it's basically entirely devoted to eating. And it's waaaaay more chill than Christmas, so you can actually enjoy spending time with the relatives you see only a few times a year. But, I will add, the 90210 Thanksgiving episodes tend to be terrible. The background laughter during the scene where Joe is telling Donna that he's a virgin made it 1000% better. Maybe there should be background laughter during all of Donna's scenes? Bless her heart.

"Hashtag whimsy," cracked my shit up. But why is Kelly wearing a beige pantsuit to go grocery shopping? It must be hard to be flirtatious and whimsical in a beige pantsuit. WTF happened to the wardrobe department during the second half of the series? I think they did a pretty good job dressing the girls (minus Andrea) in high school and early in college, but then it just went totally wrong. That shot of Val and Steve is funny. I always liked their friendship. Donna's cloud pajamas! I feel like every girl/woman between the ages of 12 and 29 had those pajamas in the mid-90's. I definitely did.

I know this is a very minor point of the episode, but why would Dylan, who hates fun, have Rock Em Sock Em Robots? Also, someone with better photoshopping skills than me (so like anyone) should photoshop Brandon's face into this picture:

I thought about that episode too! But I do not recognize the Tori episodes of Saved By The Bell, so this plot did not, in fact, already happen on SBTB. I definitely did not remember Ray being on this show for so long after he and Donna broke up. I remember the fight with Joe, but I thought he was gone for good after that. Is he still in the credits during these episodes? Aside from all the other ridiculous Kelly awfulness in this episode (and every other episode #RIPFunHighSchoolKelly), why would/should she hate Toni? Toni has done literally nothing to Kelly to warrant her hatred. Kelly's issue is with Dylan. And even that's bullshit because Kelly chose herself. Dylan can move on with whoever he wants whenever he wants. I don't remember most of the details of my dream last night, but I do remember that Val and Ginger were there, which means I either watch too much 90210 (nah) or I need to watch much more 90210 (yes!).

I know that Tori dated the guy who played Noah (Vincent something or other), but I haven't heard that she dated Joe. Can you imagine what would have happened if *Val* had been prostituting herself or had a sugar daddy? She would have been banished from Beverly Hills (though that would probably be for the best), at the very least. Kelly's bitch-face and cat-butt mouth would have reached epic proportions never seen before.

Why does no one ever just drop their guns into a body of water? Why do they always have to be dramatically thrown into the body of water? Oh God, that wicker bookshelf gave me flashbacks to (unhappily) being with my mom at Pier 1 in the 80's. Speaking of Pier 1, after seeing Colin's mural, what right did he have to judge Kelly's Pier 1 artwork? Unless he was inspired by Big and those are bulding-robots, in which case I can get behind the mural:

The way Kelly said to Claudia, "I thought you were married," seemed uncharacteristically naive. Kelly's stepdad cheated on her mom, Donna's mom cheated on her dad, and Cindy almost had an affair (though Kelly may not know about that), so she already knows *from experience* that being married doesn't stop people from cheating. Though I can appreciate the humor in Kelly being cheated on. In the words of Nelson, "I hope the irony isn't lost on you, Simpson." I mean, Taylor.

If we're picking sides, I have to say I'm #TeamBritishComputerVoice. Plus British Computer Voice choosing itself is a pretty feminist move.

Well, I will officially be joining the celibate nuns after hearing Brandon use the word erotic.

No offense to any men with blonde hair, but there is nothing creepier than a blonde mustache. I listened to the podcast before I saw the visual aids and when they brought up Donna's half shirt at the convent I thought, "Well, half shirts are probably the only kind of shirts she packed." But she *chose* to tie her normal tee shirt into a half shirt at the convent. A super Catholic like Donna should know better!

Donna and that stupid mouse/rat (Mouse Rat!)...it reminds me of that annoying plotline next season where she gets trapped in a forest fire because she was trying to rescue a baby deer, even though the baby deer is probably smarter than her, and that hot fire fighter (Cliff, I think) rescues her and falls in love with her because she's a real life Snow White, even though she put her life and his life in danger. God, I hate the canonization of St. Donna of the Cleavage Cavern. While I think Jennie Garth is pretty, she's in the same room as the Noxema girl. 99% of people are not going to be the prettiest girl in the room if they're in a room with Rebecca Gayhart. So really, show, let's dial it back. But her hair is still looking great, in my opinion. I am looking forward to Val and David getting together. It's nice that she has someone who is on her side, unlike Brandon and Dylan. Tracy was recently brought up in one of the forums and while Tracy is sooooo boring and is obviously a place holder until Kelly and Brandon get back together, I really liked her and Val's friendship. It was nice that Val had someone on her side and didn't care about Kelly/Donna/Claire. I've said before that I'll never be 100% with Val, but I do hate seeing her get ganged up on.

I agree, @Earmuffs Mom. I think he looks better now than he did back on the show. And no shame, @LucyHoneychrrch. As a teen I probably would have thought "Ewwww," but as an adult I can recognize that Steve really is the best guy on the show. And Ian Ziering always seems to be having fun playing Steve, which certainly helps.

Dylan has made me want to strike up a correspondence with the FBI. No one in particular. Just "To: The Federal Bureau of Investigation." I love how Brandon mansplains beauty pageants to Susan. Christ, what an asshole. I also love that my woke spellchecker recognizes the word mansplain. Kelly is just the fucking worst. She was bad in season 5, but God, this season she's really taken it to another level. I made a visible barf face when the Kelly baby talk started. The nadir of Kelly's awfulness has to be when, in a few episodes, Dylan *spoiler alert* announces he and Toni are engaged and she was like, "Didn't you consider my feelings?" Bitch, what?! I don't remember much about Coke!Kelly, but it must really be an improvement. I'll never be 100% with Val because she has done some pretty shitty things, but she and Claire always give the best reactions.

I don't think that's until after college, so like a looooong ways away. Once he and Claire hook up in the next couple of episodes, they date for the rest of college until she moves to France (I think) with her dad because they have a weird relationship.