Intocats

Grindr sounds like the gay version of Tinder, where some of the twentysomethings in my office find their "hookups". And I remember when AOL was the hot new thing. Mr. Starnes couldn't possibly think that young Murphy wanted him for anything but his wallet.

Another repeat today that was a conglomeration of all that earns JJ that fat paycheck every week: 1) "Disabled" plaintiff, a workers' comp scammer who is fit enough to exercise regularly with weights and a Total Gym; 2) illegal apartment that caught on fire due to the plaintiff's faulty stereo equipment; 3) plaintiff's pitbull that perished in the fire; 4) insurance fraud perpetrated by the landlord; 5) younger guy on the defendant's (landlord) side who mouthed off to JJ and got himself kicked out of the courtroom. It was kind of like Christmas all over again! JJ let the parties on both sides dig their own hole and then dismissed the case. This is Judge Judy's AMERICA, no less! :)

Aww! Didn'tcha know that Happy Meals and Sonic shakes are essential to the health and well-being of every growing child? No doubt Mommy was buying herself a few cheeseburgers as well with Dad's HSA card. Happy New Year, frickerbitches! LOL (sanitized for the newcomers and the sensitive)

That was awkward, indeed. All the "likes" and "awared me" aside, it did my wrinkled old heart good to see two respectful, well-behaved teenagers with nary a piercing in sight. No drugs or alcohol at their party! And their names! Alan and Sharon (not Hunter or Britynee) could have stepped right out of my high school yearbook. I have no idea why JJ seemed to dislike Alan so much. Maybe he reminded her of the boy who didn't invite her to the prom!

By "his people", I wonder if Shafonta means people with intricate heart-shaped chest tattoos? I couldn't keep my eyes off her work of art.

Did anyone besides me have a good giggle over the Craigslist room-for-rent case today? A guy who looks like Osama Bin Laden's younger, wimpier brother answers an ad for a room and all manner of crazy hijinks ensue!! O's bro swore that the middle aged landlady had the hots for him and wanted him in the worst way. That made him uncomfortable, so he didn't move in. The funny part was that in the courtroom, the landlady couldn't have looked or acted less interested in him. O's bro probably found a better place to rent and wanted out of the deal. Which is okay, but man up and don't whine about it! JJ ruled that he gets his $700 security deposit back, but not the month's rent.

Captain Joe "Lothario" Schoofs, aka Heather's Dad...there are no words! If I were Heather, I'd be pissed. It's the first time I've ever heard of a "down on his luck" airline pilot! I suppose anything's possible. Internet dating sites are full of slick talkers like old Cap'n Joe. All hot air and no substance. My guess is that he was also scamming the girlfriend/fiancée in Africa. But DAYUM! I'm a dental professional (when I'm not cruising the JJ forum!) and Cap'n Loverboy Schoofs had some serious periodontal disease going on his lower anteriors. If he is truly earning six figures, as he claims, he could surely afford some decent dental care.

Wow. I know it annoys JJ when litigants bring their new squeezes into the courtroom with former partners (or friends with benefits, as the case may be). But the one I really wanted to see with my own eyes is the new girlfriend of Vincent Taylor, aka Meth Master, Meth Wanderer, and One Tooth Willie. What kind of woman finds the dentally challenged Mr.Taylor a prize? The missing teeth are bad enough, but he unabashedly conned $800 from a senior deaf lady who obviously isn't made of money. What an asshole.

Spooktacular, indeed! Did anyone notice that Christopher and Jessica, the plaintiff and defendant, looked about as opposite to one another as two people can look? They wandered out of the casting call for the Addams Family movie remake, and landed on JJ's set instead. Chris was auditioning for Uncle Fester, Jessica for Wednesday Addams, and their witness Samuel wanted to audition for Eddie Munster, but got it mixed up.

Awesome! It's Sarcastico! Because of you, Sarcastico, I just spewed yogurt all over my laptop. Welcome back!

Rick Kitchen, I'm presuming that you (or someone in your household) are driving your mother's car, not your mother? If so, teebax is correct. Be sure the insurance company knows the situation so if you are ever in an accident, you won't have a kerfuffle when it's time for them to pay up. In California, it's the buyer who pays the (exorbitant) sales tax to the DMV, not the seller. In that case, the seller said he had to pay it in his jurisdiction. He apparently had the paperwork to back up his story, even though he was a scammer and took advantage of the young lady. How can he think it's okay to sell the same car twice and keep the money both times?

Bwahahahahahahaha! (good thing it wasn't the cat show!)

Hey, teebax, count me in the Byrd fan club, too. He adds a little sumpthin-sumpthin to Judge Judy's courtroom mood. Byrd's birthday is Nov. 29, this Saturday. Please join me in a virtual toast to Petri Hawkins-Byrd, TV's best bailiff. Cheers! And Happy Thanksgiving to all in the U.S.!! (Happy Thursday to everyone else! The work week is almost over!)

Yes! Pacada, Junior looked like a deer in the headlights in front of the mighty JJ! I am surprised that she didn't ask him what was in the backpack. I was certainly curious. JJ did like Pacada, Senior! I haven't seen her so delighted by an older man since !Jack! !Jack! A new Judyism today...."Mitzia" (sp). Is that like a kerfuffle?

Holy crap -- the Pepper Spray Twins are only 44! Forty-four years of hella rough mileage! I had guessed ten or fifteen years more. When one of the twins mentioned that "Papa" is 78 years old, I assumed he had been a teen dad.

Did anyone catch the repeat episode from 2011, featuring Father of the Year Roger Martin of Oakdale, California? He and his wife have eleven children between them, and were partially supporting themselves with Social Security death benefits that two of his kids were receiving (their mother had passed away). Daddy Dearest with the creepy dead eyes stuck his 18-year-old daughter with a $2500 electricity bill. Evidently he and his wife had a bad debt with the utility company and couldn't turn on the power. He also stuck his daughter with a parking ticket and fines that he incurred while borrowing her car. Whattaguy! JJ: "You have enough children!" DD: (with smirky attitude) Ummmmhummm! The plaintiff, his daughter (age 20 at the time of the case) was more than impressive. Polite, well-spoken and poised, she was in the process of buying a house. And I know 20-year-olds who can barely tie their shoes!

OMG....literally! I kept visualizing his caption as, "JESUS CHRIST, Heaven, FL" and just about lost it. I'm not sure, but Chelsea of 90-Day Fiance on TLC (a trainwreck of a show if ever there was one) has vocal cords so fried they crackle.

I heard that and I thought I was high! But no, there IS a Cannabis University of Florida! (edited because I posted the link, then saw Rick Kitchen beat me to it!)

Yes! I almost threw my pillow at the screen when JJ told the plaintiff, "You're not getting paid for the linoleum!" Sometimes Judy is so focused on what she is going to say next that she doesn't listen. I missed the RaeRene Cauliflower episode! It was pre-empted in my area for some college football show. Usually they will show JJ at 2 a.m. when there is a pre-emption, but didn't happen this time. Boo!

The 11/14/14 episode about "natural insemination" , or the 23-year-old sperm donor doing it "the old-fashioned way": He bragged about his "good genes" and "passing on his legacy" but talked like a male Valley Girl! I can just imagine when the baby starts talking..."Hey mahmmmm! I don't, like, ya know, eat that Gerber craaaaaap! Make me, like, some brown riiiiiice and banaaaaanas." Newsex, indeed!

Was that fart noise a JJ first? I don't blame Shirley...if she were my mother, I'd blow raspberries, too. Shirley Temple and Anime Raccoon from the other case should team up for a sitcom. Two wacky sisters working the Lancôme kiosk at Macys....hilarity and hijinks ensue! Then Mama Raccoon joins the sales team and the real fun begins!

Nice work, Toaster Strudel! :) Eric and his ex (can't remember her name, now) might be kinksters extraordinaire, but those kids are cute as all heck. I hope everything works out okay for them.

Yes! I'm so glad I wasn't the only one who saw that. I rewound the DVR just so I could watch that again. The lady was definitely itching to say something to JJ during the case. Neal, the plaintiff whose charms were invisible to JJ (and probably everyone else but Cherie and the girlfriend in the hot seat) looked like he was trying to channel some aging rock star. Steve Miller? Don Henley? Mike Love of the Beach Boys?

SandyToes, I don't know, but do hope that Angeleque and the scammers like her who are milking the system are the exception, not the rule, when it comes to governmental assistance.

Yes, as you get older and if you find yourself dating in midlife, there are lots of fiftysomething wannabe Romeos who are looking for a little side action. There are useful hints and tricks to suss out if they are married (like if they only call or text during the workday, or if "emergencies" routinely come up when you have plans to do something). And -- there is the trusty Internet to Google them with. But Sheri -- DAMN, girl! A DVD and a pint of Haagen-Dazs would be a better alternative to Desean "Carlos" POG!