[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

51 minutes ago, sometimesjennifer said:

I've been saying this since the day he opened his mouth about his anxiety issues. A man who has a panic attack when a camera is in his face would not put himself in the position of being filmed on a daily basis. No amount of money or promise of "fame" could lure him, let alone the chance for true love. He may have some kind of disorder, but anxiety ain't it.

Exactly. And if Brandon did choose to do so knowing his severe anxiety and anger issues, sorry, but he has personal responsibility for that. If you feel backed into a corner when stressed and lash out like a hit dog when you face a difficult situation, maybe don't sign up to MARRY A STRANGER ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

The production crew isn't responsible for managing your apparently severe social anxiety. I have empathy for it-like I said, I have severe anxiety myself- that's why I know it would be stupid as hell to sign up for a show like this, and it wouldn't justify horrible behavior to people just trying to do their jobs after that. Say what you want about how he treated Taylor, she seems shady AF to me, but the crew didn't deserve that, point blank period. 

The entire point of the show is being around strangers and even being married to one and being followed a whole bunch by cameras while you interact socially with people you don't know well, in a difficult, challenging emotional situation where you know you'll be put on the spot about sensitive topics. It's not suited for someone with extremely debilitating anxiety/depression.

Like I said, it really strikes me as no different than if my husband who can't walk willingly signed up for a show about undertaking extreme physical challenges, then got pissed at everyone who wanted him to do them and cursed them out repeatedly for doing what he SIGNED UP to do. Would he deserve sympathy for that? Absolutely not. You're an adult, you know your limitations! This isn't even the Jersey Shore or Real World where they purposely chose young people with underlying issues to exploit. These people are young professionals in their 30s, mostly, and signed up to be legally married.

If Michael and Brandon have such incredibly severe mental health issues and are aware of them, they could have just kept selling beer and not teaching kids/not teaching yoga and not signed up for a reality show for a major television network. I work from home full-time because of my anxiety. I don't choose to do things I couldn't realistically do. 

Lastly, I find it hard to believe that a *salesperson* who works big festivals for a living has social anxiety so severe that he lashes out this badly. His anxiety doesn't act up at work, I guess? 

Personally I think it's likelier that Brandon has a drinking problem and gets angry when he drinks. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

Taylor sucks but I don’t feel bad for Brandon at all for how production dealt with him at the reunion. In my mind he didn’t deserve “fairness” by that point. If he wanted to be treated with respect by production, maybe he should have treated them with respect. What we saw was likely half of what really went on with him. He made their jobs hell, so when they got a chance to have him out of their hair, they took it. In my opinion he forfeited his right to be portrayed as he wanted when he showed his ass throughout the entire filming process. 

In terms of the confrontation, I doubt there was one victim or one perpetrator. I think it was both. Taylor seems like an instigator with a temper. Brandon seems scary and like he’d absolutely follow somebody trying to leave. I think it’s pretty simple- she tried to start something to make him jealous, he escalated it and took it way beyond where it needed to be, neither one could end it maturely and it turned physical. Drinking was also likely involved on both sides. 

As for the anxiety disorder excuses from Michael and Brandon... I have a severe anxiety disorder. If you really do have one, it’s easy enough not to sign up for a reality TV show and marry a stranger. It wouldn’t be a good fit for my disorder, true. By their ages they should know that and they’re responsible for how they handle it. The entire premise of the show is that it’s nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing and stressful. If you have anxiety that severe, don’t sign up for more. My husband uses a wheelchair so he’s not going to sign up for “The Challenge” and then get angry when he can’t do the physical stunts and blame the show. 

Somebody told Katie at some point that she was really, really special and she believed it. That girl sure does have a high opinion of herself. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

8 hours ago, After7Only said:

So any great moments in this reunion.  My favorite that I haven’t already seen mentioned.  When Derek said he promised the other ladies he would not name who told him Katie had slept with her Ex 2 days after the honeymoon, Meka immediately said wasn’t her.  The rest of the ladies....crickets....lol...  Jessica looks down and fidgets....I don’t doubt Derek’s story at all.  

My guess is that it was Taylor. 

Jessica is possible, because she seems very into doing the right thing/being honest (she was the one to call out Zach while the others stayed quiet) but I don’t think she would have kept quiet. I think she’d have been open about having told Derek the truth. 

[MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation]

On 4/12/2020 at 4:01 PM, Neurochick said:

Although I think Michael had too many issues to be considered for this show.  I do not understand that comment.  You don't know what you don't know.  How is a person supposed to just magically "know" things?

Many, many years ago I watched a 60 Minutes segment with a man who was the head of a program, helping people get off welfare and find employment.  He realized early on that many of his clients had NO life skills at all, because they were not taught them, they did not see them growing up.  There were classes in, how to walk into a room and shake someone's hand, how to look a person in the eye, how to dress for an interview. 

The point is many people don't know better because they don't see certain things in their orbits. 

I don't think most of this seasons participants should have been chosen for the show.  Some had too many issues, some wanted to be on reality TV, some were willing to bend themselves into pretzels in order to stay married and some were just jerks.

I absolutely agree that the reality TV producers are more at fault than he is, but he doesn't strike me as somebody who doesn't know what's going on or what's wrong with him. The family members we've seen of his don't seem to have the same issues, and he works in education (at least allegedly). He even has a detailed explanation ready for WHY he's dishonest on a regular basis. That doesn't strike me as someone who doesn't have the internal or external resources to "know better."

[S10.E15: "Forever or Never"]

On 4/12/2020 at 10:36 PM, Lindz said:

 

This experiment show TRAPS people, in a way.
1. It sells them on the idea that their spouse is THEIR match.
2. They were chosen, SPECIAL, to participate out of thousands of applicants.
3. It's only 8 weeks.
So. They should try to make it work, when they wouldn't normally. It is a MARRIAGE. That line of acceptable behavior is blurred because they're MARRIED. We think it's clear cut, but it must be so difficult for those spouses being subjected to that. They know marriage takes work and are told to proceed after their partner crosses their line. They shouldn't have to tolerate their dealbreakers. That's unreasonable. If they exit, they might be considered quitters, failures, not serious, etc. But, we'd understand, support, & agree with their decision. Editing would probably make it seem like it wasn't that bad or hide the main incident. On flipside, we get to see behavior we'd never tolerate. 😅

Yeah, that's the thing. It's an arranged marriage situation, not dating or The Bachelor-style courtships. It's a legal marriage. I'd likely try to make it work for those eight weeks, too, especially if I could potentially be fined if I didn't and my marriage was recognized by the state.

Outside of straight up cheating or abuse, I would probably wade through almost anything for eight weeks just to make absolutely sure...especially because it would require a state-issued annulment or divorce afterward. This isn't just going home after not getting a rose. I'm assuming they get into the mindset of "ok, I have to treat this like an arranged marriage," or it's very unlikely to work anyway. The couples who treat it like a new boyfriend or girlfriend scenario and not a real marriage don't get through it.

If my actual husband had a problem with lying or distancing himself or a temper, I would try to work through it with him, not immediately leave in a couple of weeks. So I'm assuming that's what the people who stick around are thinking. Not saying that's wise or not, but I don't think it's fair to assume that they are pushovers in every single relationship just from seeing their behavior in these very strange circumstances. 

And yeah, it's easy to say "who cares what other people think," but in the thick of it- I can't say I wouldn't think to myself, "Do I really want to be potentially fined for breaking a contract AND have the world hate me and stalk me angrily on social media in a few months when this airs because I left and they edited it to make it seem like I was a flighty asshole? Or do I just want to stick it out for 8 weeks, go on a few dinner dates and let people see what really happened?"

[S10.E15: "Forever or Never"]

On 4/9/2020 at 9:43 PM, ShowFan said:

Jessica is in a state of limerence and wants to do everything with Austin 100% of the time. That will pass. She is just looking for validation of her feelings for him. When she says that she is upset he has to travel for work, all he has to do is say something like “ Oooh...that’s so cute..I’m flattered you’ll miss me and I’ll miss you too. We will make the most of the time we have together and who knows what the future will bring”. She is not asking him to leave his job, she is not saying his job is not important, she is just in the limerence zone. They are both very young and still rather immature so a very simple situation is getting out of hand. 

I agree, it was silly to get that seemingly upset over something out of his control but I don’t think it was some malicious attempt at controlling him. I think she just fell really hard and he seems like kind of a reserved guy, and she really just wanted him to say “baby I’ll miss you sooo much too” or something. She is head over heels for him and nervous about decision day. 

[S10.E15: "Forever or Never"]

I 100% agree with whoever said that Katie wants a dom. Sorry, but that girl wants to brat around and get spanked. I don't know if she knows it, but that's what she wants. Just join FetLife and leave Derek alone. 

[S10.E14: Fight or Flight?]

I don't like Taylor and she strikes me as somebody who's hoping for social media fame and is used to people telling her she's better than she really is because she's pretty and personable. But I agree with those who said Brandon's behavior with that producer was disturbing. When he was getting in his face, that was just plain creepy to me. Who does that to somebody who's just doing their job? His mean streak, just...yikes. He goes for the jugular, that one. 

I mean, even if he feels jerked around by the choice of partner, he 1) clearly could choose to leave. Mindy did, and wasn't forced to attend the retreat. He knew Taylor went out all night before willingly heading out to the retreat (and then looking like he drank a ton, by the way). He could have just...not done any of that, and thus also saved himself from having to film and two producers from being called pieces of s*** yet again.

I understand they can be fined, but if Mindy can back out with being fined, Meka and Michael could spend their whole honeymoon apart without being fined, and Zach could choose not to ever live with Mindy without being fined, I would assume he could just not go on the damn retreat.

2) Correct me if I'm wrong, but the two people he was cursing out--including one he certainly seemed to me to be physically threatening and goading for a fight--didn't have a hand in choosing Taylor. So what is all the rage about?

[S10.E14: Fight or Flight?]

I actually sort of like that Austin won't say "I love you" on someone else's timeline. It shows that, yeah, Jessica might run the show in some ways on a day-to-day level (I don't think she's "controlling" but she is definitely a household-manager type), but he will hold his own and isn't a pushover or a total yes-man like Bobby seemed to be a bit with Danielle. Even though I'm sure it hurt Jessica a lot not to hear it when she went out on a limb and said it, I think it shows something healthy about their power dynamic--that they will be equals, even if Austin is a little quieter and more subtle about asserting himself. 

[MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation]

On 4/2/2020 at 11:08 PM, Elizzikra said:

SOME (not all) adopted children grow up feeling a tremendous sense of shame. In our society, parents are supposed to love their children more than anything. So when a parent places a child for adoption (or loses a child to foster care who is later adopted), the child grows up internalizing that as rejection. "Mom didn't want me." Children, developmentally, process this differently than adults. Very young children cannot understand the concept that the world once existed without them in it. Children whose parents divorce often go through a period of time believing that the divorce was because of something they did - even when told differently by a parent, they still believe it on some level. Developmentally, kids have a hard time seeing outside their own point of view.

So when you're adopted, you don't see that as "mom was too young or too sick or too poor to care for me so she gave me to someone who could." Instead you see "I was a bad kid" or "my mother didn't love me enough to keep me." And if your mother, who according to society, should love you more than anything else, doesn't - well there would have to be something wrong with you, yes? So some adopted kids grow up just constantly feeling ashamed or as though they are unloveable; not good enough to keep. Add to that a set of learning disabilities, which can make a kid feel even more different, stupid, and unworthy and you get... Michael. 

I'm not trying to excuse Michael's behavior. He knows he's lying. I just don't think that he has done the type of therapeutic work that he would need to do to understand why he lies all the time, even when it's easier for him to tell the truth. Most of Michael's lies seem to start out being about making himself look better - have a higher salary or a loftier job title or a more accomplished career. I think most of the time when he lies, he is trying to make himself seem worthy of respect or love. I think it's an instinctive response for him, which is why his lies aren't well planned and usually don't stand up to scrutiny. 

Honestly, I feel sorry for him. I think there is a nice person under there. I think he has been tremendously impacted by various aspects of his childhood and I feel like he has a great deal of empathy for children going through similar situations. If he gets help for himself, he could one day be a wonderful advocate and support for those children. But he needs help - and a lot of it.

It's not uncommon for adopted children who have issues with lying to lie about completely inconsequential things - even when it would be easier for them to tell the truth.

I can see that, I guess...but I can't see why he would, if he KNOWS he does this, which he must, agree to be on a reality show and thus subject another person unwillingly/unwittingly to this absolutely insurmountable (until he gets tons of treatment, and certainly not surmountable in eight weeks) problem. Especially if he works in education himself, which must clue him in even more to the possible underlying reasons he does this. I also don't like how he repeatedly gaslights Meka and makes her feel like the bad guy.

It's like agreeing to be on a show like this if you know you're in active addiction. Are you a bad, evil person for being an addict, no, but it's pretty f***ed up to agree to marry someone legally when they don't even know you, subject them to your active addiction for eight weeks, and then try to embarrass and insult them on television when you get called out for doing so. 

If he knows he does this because of past trauma, why on earth would he agree to be on a show where he knows that fundamental major character flaw/ongoing issue--which would piss off any partner and in my opinion at least borders on emotional abuse--will be on full display, you know?

I also wonder how true his story is because of what he wrote in the annulment papers only in Jan. 2020. His filing for annulment blamed Lifetime producers for making him look bad, giving him a fake marriage, etc etc. Basically blamed everyone but himself when he lied about his entire life from day one. That makes me think either he had a more sinister/personal agenda reason for lying (like, just being admired and worshipped rather than trauma), OR he's so, so buried deep in his issues that he truly isn't even aware of them yet, which is possibly even scarier. 

Meka's statements that he acts differently with her than he does in front of the cameras also make me wonder if the adoption-trauma reasoning isn't just another one of his inventions, at least partially. I feel like (and I could be wrong), if the lying was completely due to his trauma, he wouldn't take off the mask with his wife, because he would want to impress/be accepted by her--someone actually in his life with the power to hurt him--much more than he would want to impress and be accepted by strangers at home.

I'm not saying it can't be true, but his continued lack of accountability to both Meka and producers even as recently as two months ago makes me take pause.

[MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation]

On 3/21/2020 at 5:42 PM, configdotsys said:

 

I'm just so sick of him and his "I'm adopted so I have trust issues." I'm sorry but I just don't buy that. That was a card that he pulled out when he realized he needed something to defend when called out on his disgusting behavior. 

 

And *if* something like that led you to lie about things, wouldn't they be things like your upbringing? Or things that were super private? I've known people who, for example, pretended their childhoods were better than they were because of trauma histories. I could understand that kind of dishonesty at the beginning of a relationship if you got scared/had flashbacks/your abandonment issues were acting up/something like that. What on earth would ADOPTION and feeling unwanted as a child have to do with being a yoga teacher, or the mileage on your car, or saying someone had to sleep with you on your honeymoon?

[S10.E14: Fight or Flight?]

2 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

What I would really really like (using the word correctly) would be in it was in their contracts that every time anyone uses the word 'like' as a filler, they would be docked a fine. It could be small - even a nickel or dime - and by the tine the show was over, I would bet almost every one of them, especially the women, would OWE money. It has become too annoying to watch. (And that is not including the many other grammatical errors that are also noted). I am not too thrilled with the future of our country if these are the future leaders.

Katie says "f***" in every sentence. I'm a swearer, so I'm not usually picky, but...it's a lot. A LOT.

[S10.E14: Fight or Flight?]

As for the other couples- I was on Brandon's side (and don't like Taylor in general) until he pulled out that nasty attitude with the producers. Holy shit, that was terrible. I think Brandon has an underlying drinking problem, and I think Taylor never stopped seeing other dudes or planned to do so. 

Derek/Katie- Katie drinks a lot. I think that drives some of her brattiness. Derek was drunk at that dinner, too. Katie sucks so badly (one of the worst people ever on the show, if you ask me), but Derek seems genuinely into her, not just resigned like Meka/Mindy. I'm assuming they have great sex. 

[S10.E14: Fight or Flight?]

Jessica and Austin will work it out; I think some of their arguments were producer-driven or blown up to be a lot more than what they were. It would be a little upsetting to learn that your husband's traveling for work was so frequent and lengthy when you only had eight weeks to get to know him. Is that his fault, though, absolutely not.

I could see Austin downplaying things (not outright dishonesty, but just deescalating them a little) a bit if he knows his partner won't like them. He seems very anti-confrontational and people-pleasing, both of which are good qualities, but I could imagine him being a little conflict-avoidant at times--especially with someone who tends towards the type-A, perfectionistic side, like Jessica. I could totally see him saying something like "yeah, sometimes I travel for work" and sort of sidestepping the details at first so he wouldn't make her unhappy, and then it being frustrating later when it comes out. I do think they'll fairly easily find a way to meet in the middle with their communication. 

My interpretation is that Jessica is just freaking out a bit because she knows Austin needs quality time to grow to love someone, and she's worried that due to his traveling, he won't have the time he needs to make an absolute "yes" decision on Decision Day. And she's super, super into him, so that scares her. 

[S10.E14: Fight or Flight?]

I do think at this point, Meka is probably not trusting/believing Michael on things he may be telling the truth about...but I mean, who can blame her, really? It's like the boy who cried wolf. With someone like that, I'd be so on edge and on guard all the time. I know she comes across super harshly, but my nerves would be FRAYED at this point, frankly, what with constant lying from my husband combined with the stress of filming and the underlying embarrassment of knowing that everyone you know (and lots of strangers) is going to watch you be lied to every week on national television in a few months. It's bad enough to be made a fool by your partner, but a fool in front of millions of strangers?

And if she already has an edgier, somewhat more aggressive, straightforward personality, it's got to be just sending her spiraling. It started with the honeymoon sex ultimatum (which I 100% believe happened), and he NEVER admitted he said it...it's just been downhill from there. After that, she could just never believe anything he did or said. 

Yes, I think she starts at a higher baseline of irritation and pushiness than other people. But at this point, she essentially must be showing audiences the very worst version of herself. Like with Mindy, when people said she acted like a doormat...being treated like Mindy or Meka has been treated on this show has to exacerbate your worst qualities. If Mindy is already on the too-passive and too-forgiving or somewhat insecure side, being treated like that has to ramp that flaw/tendency up to 100. I tend towards anxiousness and neuroticism, and I have to imagine I'd be acting *cray* on a show like this at this point, when Michael has gaslit her so much that she literally still doesn't even know WHAT HIS JOB IS. 

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

My other theory, which may not be popular, is that Katie is even more into kinky/50 Shades of Grey stuff and dominant men than she lets on and she's realizing he might not be so much. She's obsessed with the 'he's not a man, he's a boy' stuff, she wants him to take the lead in everything, she wants him to be rough with her in the bedroom, and she was upset that she initiated sex on their honeymoon rather than him. Not that he *should,* mind you, but I think her bratty, testing behavior is sometimes some kind of ploy to get him to knock her down a peg and take charge. Even if it's unconscious. 

Doesn't excuse her behavior, but I think if he got really alpha with her and took the upper hand, she'd actually 'keep sweet' and stop testing him so much. Is that mature or appropriate, no, but it's my secret hypothesis for some of her more baffling moments. 

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

8 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

But I don't think they've done any crazy fun things--certainly not on the level of sneaking into a circus to pet elephants.  Maybe that's what Katie's jealous of--he's done fun stuff in the past, but she hasn't experienced it herself.  And he has these dreams that don't have anything to do with her.

Not defending her--I don't like her*.  But I can see how that would bug.

*but I still love her wedding dress.

 

I can understand wanting someone to be more adventurous with you if you think they've done it with others...but, I mean, it's not like he petted elephants every weekend, he did it once during college.

They're just getting to know each other and have only been married, what, five weeks? And at least one of those weeks was spent on a honeymoon in Panama. And they've spent the four weeks since with her being angry at him and having fights to the point that he slept on the couch at least once. They've also still been going to work every day during that month and moving in together and lots of other normal-life things. 

So I guess it's like...what does she expect? When have they even had time to do all this stuff in their extremely brief marriage and move-in period? 

Not to mention, I would understand the feeling of wanting someone to be as fun with you as you were with others, but when he *tried* to tell her he wanted to do fun stuff in the future, she shot him down and said he was unrealistic, immature, and not a man. Like, if I was in his position, I'd be so confused that someone who just told me treehouses were stupid, children's books were stupid, and backpacking in different countries was stupid, was now jealous that I didn't pet an elephant with her. 

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

16 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Exactly. My best friend’s husband and I have texted just the two of us. It’s totally innocuous: he’s picking me up from the airport when I’ve visited, or about sports (about which my best friend cares not at all), or maybe a book somebody read and really liked (“Best Friend said you just finished Book, would you recommend it?”), or if he’s with their kids and one of the kids does something cute, he’ll send me a pic or video. I also have a group chat with both of them. But my best friend knows about all this (sometimes I’ll mention it to her during an exchange, in fun, like “your husband is trying to say team x is better than team y; please tell him he’s tripping”). If she wanted to see screen shots, I’d be like “Here you go!” There’s nothing furtive about it. If Zach and Lindsay thought their friendship was so innocent, they’d have mentioned it off top. “Hey, your friend Lindsay DMed me” or “I reached out to Zach” or whatever. I can’t remember who reached out to whom first, but the fact that they kept it a secret is problematic on its own. If it was that innocent there wouldn’t have been all this lying about it.

Especially because Mindy and Zach were strangers! I don't tell my husband every single person I text, but if we had just started dating (which is basically what they're doing on this show, albeit with a legal contract) and I met his buddy and started texting him about our relationship, he would think it was extremely weird if I kept it a secret.

This isn't Zach's longtime female friend that Mindy is being weirdly jealous about or something, this is someone he only met on the same day he met his wife. I feel like he tried to act like Mindy thought it was weird to ever speak to other women, but that's obvious gaslighting...this isn't his 'friend,' it's hers, and he barely knows either of them. 

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

1 hour ago, rebel2u said:

And everybody else's

Yeah I feel like at this point, the idea that Katie is immature and annoying is more of an established fact than an opinion. 😂

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

1 minute ago, sasha206 said:

After I typed out my original response of self-righteousness, I started thinking of the numerous times I've commented things like "She's not as hot as she thinks he is." I believe I also typed that Michael is too ugly to get away with the lies.  So basically what I'm saying is I've made far worse comments than yours and should basically shut the fuck up!

Yeah I struggle with these things too lol, I try not to comment on people's looks (and plenty of not-at-all-attractive people are wonderful and deserve incredible partners, obviously) but people like Michael and Katie try my patience and stretch my limits.

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

14 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

EDITED:  Deleted post where I complained about her looks being commented b/c it was too self-righteous particularly since I called Lindsay frumpy in the previous posts!

I know it's not important. My only point is that she acts like someone who's been told her whole life that she's extra-magical and special and deserves better treatment than anybody else. I don't mean that someone would have the RIGHT to act like that if they were super-hot--they don't, it's also an unattractive quality in very attractive people. But since she also doesn't seem to have other amazing personal qualities, I wonder where she got that inflated ego and sense of superiority. 

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

Overall reactions-

Jessica and Austin- I get that some think Jessica is a little uptight, but some people are just a bit more type-A and I think Austin enjoys it a little, he seems like someone who definitely wouldn't mind that nurturing dynamic.

I also think she's acting upset about his traveling because she's very, very head over heels for him. She doesn't seem like a woman who feels that a lot and lets herself get caught up in extreme emotions often. It's probably a little unnerving for her; she seems like someone who has everything 'under control' most of the time. She's not just a nurse, she's a patient care manager and probably usually feels like she's in a position of authority where people rely on her and look to her for answers and help, etc. This is probably a bit scary for her, to feel a little out of control. I think they'll make it. 

Derek/Katie- I'm SUPER biased about Derek/Katie because I love Derek. Derek is a gem and a very sweet man. He'll be a great husband to someone- thoughtful, protective, adventurous, probably generous and giving in bed. The 'up for anything but still a family man' type. Would build a DIY treehouse, work hard at his job, have lots of sex with you, go out for cocktails and play with the kids all in a matter of days. Katie is squandering it with her CONSTANT whining. He seems like somebody who could please a bit of a bratty or high maintenance woman if she was equally giving as him in other ways. But she gives literally nothing and expects everything.

I hate to be that person, but she's not even conventionally attractive- and I understand that's far from the most important thing- but where did she get this level of ego? It's not like she's particularly put-together and accomplished like Jessica or sweet and kind like Mindy, either, so I really don't get why she thinks she deserves the world and then some.

Brandon and Taylor- WHY are they subjecting us to this. I can't stand either one. 

Mindy and Zach- Glad she finally grew a backbone. Part of me doesn't get why she held on so long, but part of me admires her for taking commitment and marriage vows so seriously. When she does find that person, she will be a very loyal and devoted partner. Like Derek, she deserves a million times better. 

Meka and Michael- No matter how harsh Meka can come across, I can't imagine at this point that I would come across any better. Forging an offer letter is honestly downright scary. I don't care if she called him every name in the book and shrieked all day long. That is a f**king scary level of dishonesty. That's a scam/con artist thing, not insecurity over being adopted. I could imagine downplaying your flaws or exaggerating your accomplishments due to past trauma...not literally lying about your job and salary and even your hobbies like teaching yoga on the side. SCARY. One of the creepiest things we've ever seen on this show. I wouldn't put anything past someone like that. 

[S10.E13: Secrets and Lies]

On 3/25/2020 at 8:23 PM, DrewPaul2010 said:

No it looks like Mindy has finally had it if anyone. Probably should have a while a go.

At the risk of sounding like a male chauvinist I would love to see Mindy at the re-union show with a dazzling new hair cut or a perm and have a make over and knock everyone over... 

I agree. I know some people were suggesting she doesn't look very good on the show, but I always thought she was just stressed. I wouldn't be that motivated to try to look incredible for someone who already thought I wasn't attractive on my WEDDING day. Even people who aren't all that great-looking tend to look good on their wedding day (and she looked beautiful). If someone doesn't like you then, they probably won't. That's about as good as it gets, with full makeup/hair/bridal glow. 

At the risk of sounding shallow, she's actually looked less and less attractive to me as the season went on. I thought she was gorgeous at first (and she is). You could just see the stress, pain and exhaustion on her face and in her body language. That wears on you over time and makes you look less attractive. And imagine if she'd worn sexy cocktail dresses and full makeup every time he came over...she would have looked desperate or like she was trying too hard and it would have been even more embarrassing for her. 

[S06.E07: Under Pressure]

I do have to say, I think I see her anxiety attacks very differently from most, but maybe because I was raised by an even more domineering mother. (NOTHING to do with her trans identity, just her mom's actual treatment of her as her child and especially as the baby of the family.)

I truly got this anxious over things this seemingly small at Jazz's age. Someone had made every decision for me, critiqued every outfit, every meal, every word I said, every friend I had. It probably seemed like I was spoiled, but inside I was lost and suffocating and in despair. I had no idea who I was without the shadow of my mom hanging over me, telling me what I would do next. And when I realized I was suddenly going to have to do it on my own...well, I lost it. I realized how helpless I'd been kept, seemingly on purpose. I was angry, too, not just scared; I suddenly knew how truly helpless I was compared to my more independent peers, which was the vibe I got from Jazz in her uncontrollable sobs. Combine that with multiple physically traumatizing, painful, complicated surgeries and the world's attention on social media and TV for years and years? Well, I would have fallen apart a lot more.  

I eventually figured it all out. But I felt her pain. Sure, she is privileged and spoiled, and she doesn't have a great work ethic. She has plenty of flaws. But I do think her distress is very, very real. 

Also, re: the "perfectionism"- some people put things off subconsciously on purpose because of the anxiety and dread they feel around them. That can be read as laziness, and it could be a mixture, but I get some sense of that from Jazz as well. That she is so afraid of something being 'wrong' in her speech, or not great about her performance- remember, this is a girl who hasn't really gotten to experience a casual school project or something she just did as any other teen that didn't get plastered all over television, and has had to be a 'role model' and spokesperson her entire life- that she just feels paralyzed and puts it off until the last minute, then panics. 

[S06.E06: Dragilicious]

21 hours ago, msrachelj said:

I've been to drag shows. It was decades ago but it was men dressed as women. You would occasionally have a woman dressed as a man. And the men were over the top dressed as women, big boobs, big hair, lots of makeup etc. This show had men dressed as women with no breasts (grandpa) looking like a half assed halloween version. And Jazz and her  mother in drag? That is not the definition of drag. The whole runway show I was WTF is this shit?

Drag shows do tend to include more of an eclectic mix now of gender-bending, elements of burlesque, even circus-type stuff and individual singing or variety-show acts now, like magicians. I've also been to burlesque shows recently that incorporated drag. There's a lot of crossover. 

But as for the rest, yeah, I agree. I could understand Jazz because she would probably experience a LOT of dysphoria if she dressed as a man, but the whole thing really didn't take drag very seriously. It's supposed to be fun but it was pretty dumb, drag performers practice a lot and it's an art form even if it's campy. Sander doing pushups or whatever the hell he was doing (he seems like a good guy but come on), the lack of preparation on everyone's part. It seemed like they were just sort of half-assing stuff and riding on the show and Jazz's popularity to make money. Nobody except Peppermint and the host seemed to have any real respect for drag.