[MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation]

I can't believe Katie got someone to date her so soon!

[Where Are They Now?]

Hendrix?! Yeeow. I'm happy for them given their history of losses, though.

[Where Are They Now?]

1 minute ago, topanga said:

And the producers made that horrible pairing on purpose. I don't think Amber is ugly, and she's certainly someone's type, but she's not Matt's type. And that's fine. I think it was cruel to pair a hobo basketball player with a clingy short woman. 

Yeah, I find some of the physical pairings really weird. Obviously everyone's attraction doesn't conform to stereotype, and I don't find Matt very attractive, personally--I think many people would be attracted to Amber and Matt doesn't have much going for him besides his height--but I feel like I'd speak to him for 5 minutes and know he wanted a curvy-sexy "IG model" type. Same thing with Zach & Mindy from Season 10. Mindy is very pretty, and I have no doubt she has no issue getting plenty of guys' attention. But I would see Zach's Instagram once and know that he probably wanted a glam girl who loved fashion and contouring her makeup on a daily basis. Do they purposely try to mismatch them? I assume so, sometimes. 

[Where Are They Now?]

Just now, Ohwell said:

I don't "hate" Matt, I just think he should never have been chosen as a mate.  I do agree that he's angry that he wasn't paired with someone he thought was attractive. 

I don't mean everyone here, I just mean he's likely gotten a ton of angry messages on social media and probably directs some of his resentment at those critics at Amber. 

And yeah, he literally seems angry that he wasn't attracted to her. 

[Where Are They Now?]

I don't get what's really going on with the divorce/separation papers, and yeah, I wouldn't sign something on a TV show, but Matt also didn't appear to disagree with Amber's claim that she'd sent *something* three times thus far that he'd refused to sign. He doesn't seem to have any issue with defending himself, so I'm inclined to believe that some aspect of the story is true, no matter how they've trussed it up/scripted it to make it make sense on the show.

I know that in my state, when I got divorced after my first marriage, there were several rounds of agreements to sign. It was an amicable divorce, no assets, no kids, no court. We still had to sign an initial agreement before anything could be filed, and then those papers had to be returned six months later, and then we had to sign those, and *then* one of us had to go in and hand in the papers physically at the courthouse. And we lived in a state where it was far easier to get a divorce than in NC. There was still definitely initial paperwork of some kind that we both had to sign in order to get started. She might not be calling it the right thing, but I just remember there being several rounds of paperwork requiring both signatures, even though we were definitely already separated and in agreement that we would get a divorce.

I'm no lawyer, but I do believe her that it's likely that there's some initial paperwork step he refuses to take as some kind of revenge or just to be snotty. If it wasn't true at all, I highly doubt he'd be willing to go along with that story, even if producer-concocted.

I agree with Amber that it's some kind of power play. He told media outlets after they got married that he was disappointed to see her walking down the aisle, that he wasn't that attracted to her, etc., etc. He complained about her being too affectionate, for god's sake. However Amber might act now, she really didn't do much wrong to him during their marriage besides being needy, so I think that speaks to his overall character--no reason to tell that to outlets unless you want to get a dig in. I think he literally resents her for not being the kind of "hot" he wanted, and he feels cheated by the experience and somehow blames that on her. I also think he likely resents her because everyone on social media absolutely hates him, and he probably sees himself as a victim of them/her/the show. 

[Leon Brown: So Here's Me]

On 5/2/2020 at 12:52 PM, xwordfanatik said:

I rilly hope not.  I like Aspyn too.  If they are living by Mitch's plyg relatives (aren't at least two of his sisters, sister wives?) I could see him trying for more wives, especially if they go to the same church.  Family pressure can suck.  

I don’t think Aspyn is a doormat or anything but she is very open and agreeable. And she always seemed more on the fence about polygamy than her siblings. Maddie and Logan always said “no,” while Aspyn said “I don’t know yet.” She gets along with others well and doesn’t seem like the intensely jealous type at first glance, which I fear could make her more open to it in the future if Mitch pushed her in that direction. 

[Where Are They Now?]

10 hours ago, Gigi43 said:

 

It's not okay for reality shows to reduce people to stereotypes but that's pretty much the nature of reality shows, as this show has proved over and over again. Able bodied people trade their dignity for 15minutes, a physically disabled person is perfectly capable of making the same decision. I don't think the show should go out of their way to find anyone disabled as my original post said. It's pointless because this show isn't actually trying to accomplish anything with society. However if I for example lost my mind and applied I  don't think my disability should make me less qualified than any of the other idiots. I know what I'd be getting into and anyone who doesn't have an intellectual disability has the same ability. 

I’m saying this as a disabled person married to another disabled person, to clarify. I just wouldn’t find it very fun to see all the bigoted things they’d likely say *as an audience member*. Enough of that in the real world. 

they tried to go the “let’s discuss real issues in people’s lives!” route with bride and prejudice and it is a TRAIN WRECK, lol. (I never knew, like, anti-Semitism could be made into a reality TV episode hosted by Pastor Cal, but I was wrong!) Although I guess they know what they’re doing because it’s hard to look away from a wreck. 

[Where Are They Now?]

9 hours ago, Gigi43 said:

 

Sean and Davina in the dumpster fire that was season 2 were different races (he was white and I believe she was Indian ), but that season seems to have been erased from the shows history.

 

As for physical challenges... personally I'm okay they haven't and I have them. Either they're going to match two people with challenges/disabilities with that being the one thing they have in common, they've done it with races, and that's not how relationships are built. Or they're going to match someone with physical challenges with someone who ends up not being cut out for it and that shouldn't be sprung upon a person. You can be someone who isn't cut out to be in a relationship with us and still be a good person but I foresee that person being flamed online when the producers are to blame. I can watch sports with the best of 'em but I'm not ever going to be able go hiking with a guy and if a guy wants someone who can do that or generally be  very active with, that's fine with me, you aren't obligated to date me just don't be a dick about how you state it. There's no chance this show will be respectful with it.

I’m more concerned about the disabled people they’d choose for the show and how they’d likely be spoken to... or people in interracial relationships, etc. this show doesn’t deal with anyone or anything respectfully or with any class (remember how constant the virginity talk was?), so I can’t imagine they’d choose partners who would afford anyone the dignity they deserved. They’d go for drama and sensationalism instead. Not fair for any disabled participants who would be reduced to a stereotype. 

[Leon Brown: So Here's Me]

I really like Aspyn. I’m personally still convinced that Mitch will try to push her into plural marriage at some point. 

[Where Are They Now?]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm going to agree with you but go one further to say that even though the "experts" are not technically acting as their therapists they don't make that clear to the audience and so are "giving the appearance" of being their actual therapists.  And that, yes, is widely considered to be unethical behavior by people in the therapeutic community.  You don't get to portray an image of acting in your professional capacity and then just because you're not technically functioning as a therapist on the show in the fine print somewhere get to claim you've done nothing unethical.  The show clearly wants to capitalize on these people's titles to make itself look legitimate and serious.  And being deceptive and giving the appearance of acting as a therapist without making any public disclaimer on the show to clarify that they are not is considered by many in the therapeutic community to be unethical behavior for anyone with their professional credentials.

I definitely agree with that. I’m just saying that applies to all of them, not just Jessica, so I found the faux concern about “ethics” that the show tried to portray on the special a bit hypocritical. I don’t think they were upset with her because she went against ethical guidelines, I think the other experts weren’t pleased because it exposed the fact that they are all masquerading as these folks’ clinicians when they are not in any way filling that role. The others might not have dated any former participants but anyone who tells Brandon and Taylor, Meka and Michael, or Katie and Derek to stay together! and work things out! and try to save their marriage! is not acting ethically either. 

[Where Are They Now?]

14 hours ago, call me ishmael said:

I guess i disagree with you.   Dr. J may not have been their therapist but she was supposed to be their counselor and she was really out of line.  I remember when that scene first was shown being shocked by it and that was before the whole thing with her getting together with John.  It was remarkably unprofessional especially from a profession that trains you to keep your own emotions in check.  I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was Pastor Cal because he seems to think that yelling at someone to work hard is deep psychological insight but Dr. J was embarrassing there.  And i guess the show feels that way too because Kevin Frazier definitely made sure she looked bad.

It was definitely inappropriate behavior but I'm just saying it's not technically "unethical" in an official sense because she wasn't actually their counselor. Do I think it was totally okay behavior as a *human being* or as someone who purports to be a counselor on TV, no. But I think it embarrassed the show because it revealed that, actually, these people aren't acting as their counselors at all, in any capacity, no matter how much they try to set that dynamic up on TV. People complained to the requisite psychological board/medical board (sorry, not sure) after they got together, but there was no complaint to be made...because they're not actually their therapists. They're there for entertainment. It's basically like he got together with a friend who was his confidante & advice-giver during a protracted breakup and who had a little crush on him, not like getting together with his actual doctor/therapist. Still weird, but not the same power dynamic.

It kind of revealed that the underpinnings of the show are pretty much a sham and that none of the experts are actually bound to the usual ethical guidelines- they don't truly have to have their participants' best interests in mind as a counselor or social worker would, because they are acting as entertainers, not as their clinicians. That's why I think the show's 'experts' weren't pleased. When we see the experts telling participants to keep trying on marriages that are clearly beyond dead, it's for the show, not for their best interests.

So yeah, I guess, is it moral? Probably not totally, but imo definitely not worse than telling people who are being cheated on, lied to, screamed at, told they're ugly every day, etc., to "stick it out" as all the experts so often do to keep the show going. 

[Where Are They Now?]

14 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I'm thinking back on the episodes between Jon and Molly and I don't recall him or her saying there was anything like abuse.

 

He called her emotionally abusive at the reunion episode on their season. 

[Where Are They Now?]

18 hours ago, Adeejay said:

The problem I had with Molly was that she lied to everyone about being happy in her marriage, when she clearly wasn’t. She would wait until the cameras weren’t around to tell Jon how she really felt. The surly wife he described and the amiable lady the experts saw were polar opposites. He had to taped her because no one believed him. In the meanwhile she was on record stating that she’d had threesomes with strangers. So unlike her cast member Jephte, it wasn’t the “stranger factor” but rather the “Jon factor”. 

Edited - I deleted it because what I wrote didn't make sense. lol!

[Where Are They Now?]

I don't know if I buy the whole 'Dr. Jessica was into him/after him from the beginning' thing. I could see it being more- a little spark/crush that she might have had for him, which many people (even married ones) can have and it never does any harm. We're attracted to people every day and rarely act on it. Then over time, she sees him being treated badly by Molly. She's one of the ones who knows the most details about his marriage to Molly before the season airs, so he wants to keep confiding in her/chatting with her after the season is over, when he's hurt and the wounds are fresh and he can't divulge a lot of details to the other people in his life. The connection grows into something more, simple as that. 

It's not the most conventional way two people have ever met, but they've specified many times that the experts on the show are not actually the cast members' therapists/clinicians, so I don't know that it's all that bad. 

[Where Are They Now?]

19 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Jamie grosses me out with her constant breeding 

You know that women don't "breed" on their own, right? That's not how this works. 😉 

(And she's had 4 pregnancies because she had two miscarriages, one of which was very far along, around halfway through the pregnancy if I remember correctly...jeez.)

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

Does anyone else wonder if Katie really did have sex with the ex right after the honeymoon? It's very possible because, well, Katie, but part of me thinks she was just sexting him/thinking about it just after the honeymoon and her castmate misinterpreted a bit. Not because I think anything positive about Katie, but because I really, really doubt she would have gone an entire 8+ weeks with Derek without rubbing it in his face when they argued about their sex life.

She went for the jugular in arguments--snarkily telling her mom she probably didn't know what love was because she got married because she was pregnant, for example, and calling Derek a "loser" and a "weirdo" with no game--and I just have my doubts that she would have actually gone through with having sex with her ex and then never showed it off throughout the marriage. 

Katie actually seemed *proud* of the date with Zach and of the cheating imo. She seemed a little sheepish in that she knew people wouldn't exactly approve of it, but she seemed to take secret pleasure in it, as if it was proof that she was extra-hot. Zach seemed a little embarrassed but Katie was chomping at the bit to talk about how he texted her first! Almost seems like an aberration for her to not have told Derek for so long if that story is really true. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

3 hours ago, sasha206 said:

The theme with the defense of Brandon's though is EVERYONE is provoking him.  It's production, its the camera man, it's Taylor's fault.  It's everyone else's fault but Brandon being a hothead as if he can't catch a break.  People have seen the video of his reactions.  It doesn't apparently take much for him to implode we've seen.  And even then, it must be the production staff targeting him (even though no other MAFers have ever acted like that with production).  

I don't like Taylor one bit.  In fact, at one point, I started understanding why he got so annoyed at her w/the camera in the face.  She's a straight up Instagram follower wannabe.  

But when there's a pattern, it's not everyone else's fault.  It's his own fault for reacting the way he does.

 

 

Yep. EVERYONE around him can't suck that badly. It's the opposite of Meka- she really only acted that hot-headed with Michael, not with everyone else. That suggests that's not how she is most of the time. I rarely saw Brandon act civil with anybody and the other guys didn't seem to like him at all when they hung out. Austin and Derek seemed incredibly put off by him. Only Michael, in the entire cast, had his back. That says something. Same with Katie; she wasn't just a jerk to Derek, she also treated her parents like shit and acted shady with her new "friend" Mindy's ex-husband. So it wasn't just the pressure of the situation, they just suck in general. 

And if some ex I couldn't stand, and only dated for a few weeks, showed up at a bar and tried to make me jealous, I'd maybe make a snarky remark and then leave...or sit there and stand my ground until they did. If he thought Taylor was such an Instagram ho and so horrible and blah blah, why did he care enough to follow her, taking photos and yelling insults? Probably because just about everything makes that dude angry. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

19 hours ago, Truth said:

Well, IMO, that's exactly what he did (even if it was a scheduled break).  He stormed away cursing, went into a dressing room, and then whined like a baby at having to "answer for Brandon".

Michael was not "forced" to speak for Brandon.  The truth is, Michael was angry when he felt that Brandon was being attacked, so he spoke out to defend him. pathetically attempting to draw parallels between Brandon's childish behavior, and the behavior of his students.  This was Michael's choice.  He could have easily just said "I have nothing to add", but instead, he chose to engage.

It seems strange that he was significantly more upset about this than he was about being called a liar numerous times on national television.

Good point. While I do understand why Michael might have felt put on the spot, it's true that imo the MAFS producers *did* try to present the issue as two-sided. After all, the host started by reading Brandon's account of what happened aloud before even letting Taylor speak about it. Then he tried to give Michael--who has caped for Brandon the whole time--a chance to say something as simple as, "Brandon says she started it, so there's two sides to every story. Just remember the judge granted them BOTH protective orders for a reason." 

While the host may have done it a little pushily or clumsily, for whatever reason the production crew didn't want Brandon there. Maybe they thought he'd intentionally try to break the protective order (my personal opinion) or goad Taylor into doing so, thus potentially getting the crew in trouble for being part of that. Or maybe they just wanted to wash their hands of him and were sick of his degrading insults. So in lieu of his being there, they 1) read his statement/side of the story aloud and 2) tried to give his closest friend on the show space to stick up for him. The more I think about it, the more I'm not sure why what they did was so horrible.

If Michael truly did not want to comment, he could have said, "I don't want to comment, that's not my place, I'm not going to answer that question" and moved on. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

2 hours ago, Blissfool said:

hmmmmm 🤔........but there are no barbers out there right now....

He looks great!

Whoa he looks great!

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

We're not talking about court behavior here for him, & we don't know what went on behind the scenes, only what they've showed us of Brandon. If they felt threatened by Brandon, I doubt he would've lasted the whole season. He wanted off anyway, so they probably would've gladly bumped him, except then Taylor would've lost her 15m of 'fame'.

And just to clarify, I'm not condoning any of his behavior, & I do think he's toxic as well as Taylor, just in different ways. I'm only saying both sides should've been heard, & will add as a long time viewer I also wanted that & wasn't given that opportunity.

I was just talking about court because you mentioned the judicial system and how you guessed those principles "didn't apply to reality TV." I was saying that I don't think he'd have been listened to by the judicial system, either, if he'd acted that way in that setting.

You don't have an inherent right to tell your side if you make people's workplaces uncomfortable and even unsafe. I did wish as the viewer that I had his story, but he chose to forfeit that right, in my mind--not the producers. So yeah, I do wish I'd heard what he'd had to say, but imo he chose not to do so by acting the way he did. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I don't know about you, but if something happened & the other person got their say & my version was left out, I wouldn't find that at all fair. The behaviors of both aside, everyone has a right to their side of the story - it's even in our judicial system, but apparently doesn't apply to reality teevee.

Even in court, if you insult and threaten the judge enough times, you'll probably lose your chance to give much of your side. Brandon would have been given a contempt of court charge and been yanked out of the courtroom long ago. Nobody should have to be threatened, cursed out or screamed at at their job; producers are no exception. They have the right to a safe and civil work environment. For all we know, some of the crew members might have said they felt unsafe around Brandon and it created a hostile work environment. 

If he treated the higher-ups that way, I hate to think how he treated the average random camera guy or food service worker. I personally would have been really uncomfortable if I'd been subjected to that day after day at my job. I'm sure they're used to some weird behavior, but this was disgusting imo. Even locking the vehicle from the inside that wasn't even his? Blocking the cameras and getting in people's faces? I'd be nervous that he'd flip out at the reunion and start smashing property. I personally think that the "pettiness" was less of their reasoning than potential liability and HR complaints. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

2 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

They showed a clip of Brandon explaining to the camera on the honeymoon that when he woke up to a camera in the face that his reaction was was due to his panic attack history.

Now I'm not sure he has that history, but my reaction when seeing the clip last night was that he was lying.  To me he just pulled it out of thin air to give himself a cover.  What if in reality, he was still (at that point) trying to hide his lack of attraction to his wife or his dislike of being a subject or Taylor's social media, etc.

To me there is no reason to believe his words at that time.  Being a beer rep, he has experience imo in being the center of attention etc

 

 

I don't believe him either, especially given his job. I was saying that IF he did have such an issue, it would still be his responsibility as an adult not to sign up for something that would lead him to treat other people so horribly. So even if that story is true, which I strongly doubt, it's still no excuse. If Brandon is that lacking in self-control every time he gets anxious, he shouldn't put himself in those situations. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

1 hour ago, Stinamaia said:

AND she admitted her fault without excusing it by childhood trauma or past relationships or whatever.  She straight up said she was too harsh and apologized.  She took responsibility for herself without pointing out that Michael’s lying was worse than what she did.

I think that Meka’s sharp, logical mind makes her impatient with those who can’t keep up.  She’s all about the facts, right and wrong, etc.  She is my favorite this season, not because she was perfect, but because she seemed she would be a great friend, and I would enjoy her ranting about whatever was on her mind at the moment.

I agree. I thought she seemed quite intelligent. Michael's word salad lies probably got to her more than to the average person. She picks up on everything. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

32 minutes ago, Truth said:

Tacky or not, I don't blame them.  He was an intolerable douche, and they had no incentive to be fair.

Yep. I'm surprised at all the 'they should have been more fair to him' (while I agree that Michael shouldn't have had to speak for him, that wasn't appropriate). 

If somebody got in my face more than once like Brandon did at my job, I certainly wouldn't be trying to give him a good or even decent edit. I'd be as petty as I liked, thanks. You do that to me and my colleagues enough times, I'm not having you on the set to disrespect me yet again. I could only get called a piece of s*** for doing my job so many times. He wasn't just yelling "f*** this" or "I wish I hadn't signed up for this s***" or something. He was directly calling producers a string of derogatory names, over and over and over. And if we saw it on TV twice, we know it happened a lot more. 

Production crews become a sort of close-knit family because they work together for such long hours and often know each other well. I doubt the crew members took kindly to him talking down to and verbally abusing people who are likely their very close friends and collaborators. 

People have pushed back against the producers on this show before. I've never seen anybody deliver this level of verbal abuse/harassment to the crew. That's a whole different thing. 

[S10.E17: Season 10 Reunion]

2 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

I would think Taylor too, which could explain why she and Derek were so friendly.  I did note that Derek said "cast members," not "cast member."  So if Jess did know, I would think she might tell Austin and ask for his advice and maybe the two of them told Derek.

Regardless, Derek was very gentlemanly about saying that he would not expose the person or persons, which I respect.  I also respect him for airing Katie's dirty laundry to the world.  Well played, Derek.  

Agreed. Derek is a class act, actually, much more than I thought at first given his bit of a 'former frat boy' persona. He shaded Katie deeply in this last reunion episode without having to resort to yelling or derogatory names. He simply said, "Fortunately, Katie made it really easy not to fall in love with her." Damn!

I noticed that about the other cast members too. I could see Taylor telling Derek as a way to make a move on him or just be shady, while Mindy, Jess, and/or Austin (maybe Austin? he seems like a stand-up guy) probably would have told him in order to help him out and protect him. Austin/Mindy/Jess all seem very committed to honesty and transparency. (We all know it wasn't Michael, lol.)

I also had a fleeting thought that he might have said it was "cast members," plural, on purpose, in order to protect the person's identity or make it sound like it was a general rumor and not a conversation he specifically had with one person. Another class act moment if that's true.