Drogo

Abby's father: "I hope you aren't using my daughter for two weeks then going back to America. I hope you love her and take care of her and this isn't the last time we ever see her again." Sean: "K." ...If I were Papa Abby, they would never find his body.

And because he doesn't have to. He's not exactly "comfortable" financially.

Loren's high and mighty attitude toward the split couples is funny. She and Alexei are only still together because he's a very forgiving soul. If Alexei had left (after one of the major lies Loren told him) Loren would be just as hung up as Danielle is.

I'm gonna need Danielle and Jorge to stop equating "love" with the obsessive creeper feels they have for Mo and Anfisa. It's maddening. You both lied to someone far away about being able to offer them a certain new life and security. You got found out yet still tried to force your victim to stay in captivity. They refused and now your life's mission is to ruin them. "Love" you say? Fuck off, Danielle and Jorge. Mo and Anfisa, welcome to the States.

This show makes me feel like I've taken bad drugs.

I like Franco in this, and I don't like Franco in anything. Darlene is so sweet and likeable and this is HBO so I fear for her future.

I'm going to need more Slutty Dawson Leery episodes. This one wasn't great for me. But I did enjoy seeing the BIGGIE fries. Hee.

For tonight's results show, the role of Mel B. will be performed by Marge Simpson.

Pouring one out for the koala bear that gave its life to become Julie's sleeves.

There are all kinds of men in this world. Now we know Matt is the kind that speaks like Minnie Mouse when he's upset.

Heez gettin' saxx somewhere! Ennitznot frummee!

I'm not saying this show's a reliable source of most information, but Tourette Syndrome is considered hereditary (capable of being passed from parent to child before birth) by the medical community. My issue with the Tell All and even the episodes circling the TS/imaginary child scenario is this idea that Alexei's not allowed to feel any type of way about potentially having a child with TS and/or being lied to about the genetic correlations. He's made out to be some kind of asshole by the host and the producers.

I'm leaving a lot more leeway in the Tell-All threads regarding social media/etc., but let's at least try to keep it on track with what's been shown on this episode. Also, let's keep it classy with the back and forths. We're not all going to agree on everything but we can be civil in our disagreement.

Crossing guard? Bahahaha.

Jesse's parents live in the enchanted forests of Narnia. ETA: His mother is a unicorn and his stepfather is an asshole.

Paul: I will keep your daughter's honor. At my hotel. Me:

The first 10 seconds or so was all All-Star Robert.

"What's in this for Jesse?" She should have just said "Does tons of sex count?"

Don't worry- FatherChantel said it's not hereditary.

I didn't think I could dislike a third judge more than Jason DeRulo, but Vanessa's incessant giggling is death.

Discuss Patrick and Miriam here!

She should have done to the host what she does to Pedro when he asks her a question she doesn't have a particularly good answer to: Narrow her eyes, clench her jaw and stare hatefully at her until she spontaneously combusts.

Heads up, Jorge- go fuck yourself. Taking that much pride in "exposing" a woman is almost as gross as that fat roll peeking through your button-down shirt.

What... uhh.. whatcha aiming for here Petyr? You had to be so creepy, and now you're dead.

Chantel and Pedro.