Earl Is Dead

^^ This is why I needed to visit this forum today. I honestly thought I was misunderstanding Max's explanation until Bravo started with the helpful chyron complete with little Eiffel Tower boner-meter. Seriously, dude? That has to be the weirdest reason for quitting a job ever. I hope the truth is he was just lazy about how hard the job was combined with bored that none of the women were fawning over him like they were for Luka. Otherwise he's in for a rude awakening as he gets older. (Lots of them in fact!) Also this! It's one thing if the crew volunteers to don skimpy costumes as part of a theme night, it's absolutely repulsive for guests to just demand stripping. Bring in professionals to perform if that's what the guests want - don't force the crew! That's not what you're paying them for! And I had the same thought as Uncle Juice - if the guests were all older men and the demand was stripping from their 20-something female hired help? HA! No one would even be pretending that was a harmless good time, much less worthy of yuk-yuk laughs from Bravo viewers. And yes, I know it's all set up by producers and I'm sure the cast is safe and well informed ahead of time and compensated and all that, but still. It really rubs me the wrong way. If we're watching to pretend this luxury fantasy world is real I'd prefer it to be slightly less revolting in this way.

Didn't Captain Sandy say (or maybe it was Captain Lee again on Couch Talk - sorry I watched them back to back and don't remember) that a pilot was required to enter or exit a commercial port? So it had nothing to do with her capabilities or lack thereof. He's like the air traffic controller - but for boats.

My first thought when Ruan started reacting to and then revealed the sudden death of his friend was that he was making it up to use as an exit strategy having been caught for falsifying his documents. I guess I'm overly cynical, but he sure made sure he was wailing and crying on camera, then after getting kicked off the boat... no mention of Dead Friend at all. And speaking of the boat - all these seasons they've taught me to appreciate the size of super yachts in terms of feet. Now suddenly this one is described by its tonnage, which Captain Lee later explained on Couch Talk as referring to its displacement of water. Um... okay. How am I supposed to know if that's bigger or smaller than the other yachts we've seen? It's a tough one for sure, but it makes me smile. It reminds me of Wakko Warner, 😁 whose voice I think they patterned after the Beatles. I'm glad Cheffy is getting subtitles.

I have a lot to say about the other stuff, but on a lighter note - one thing I just don't understand: Why do three capable deckhands need so much guidance on how to clean the boat between charters? Isn't that the same thing they do, time and time and time again? And of all possible Bosun or Lead Deck guidance to have to give, how is cleaning that Culver would fail on? Docking, handling the anchor, night watch... okay, we've seen many "leaders" struggle with providing guidance on those things, but ... cleaning between charters? I feel like after watching all the seasons I could swab the deck and wash the windows and unstain the teak and take out the garbage and polish the chrome... Are they doofuses?

Unpopular opinion here, but I think Glenn blamed Daisy and Gary equally for their own "flirtatious" behaviors with his remark. Once he knew Daisy was with Colin, Gary should have backed off with the aggressive flirting, and once she declared couplehood with Colin, Daisy shouldn't have reciprocated said flirting and been into it as she always has been. Yet over and over again when we saw Gary and Daisy alone, they behaved as if there was no Colin factor. Frankly the whole triangle ruined the season for me. That said, if it weren't for that triangle and drama I doubt we would have gotten this reunion at all. As others have said, Andy looooooooooves this kind of sh*tshow and let it go on (and on and on!) for two hours. (Plus my grid told me it continued even more on WWHL an hour later? But I haven't watched that yet so I don't know if it's true). As much as I felt at times Daisy was being ganged up on unfairly, she also didn't do herself any favors with her interrupting and screaming. Gary eating chips. Daisy walking off camera. Gary walking off camera. Everyone else probably wondering why they were even there. As much as I have enjoyed the team of Gary/Colin/Daisy, I think for Season 5 we need a fresh start. And a new boat. She did - I kept thinking how she giving us Brigitte Bardot. Because I'm old.

Alyssa's repeated response of, "Cool. Cool. Yeah," during Captain Sandy's dressing down seemed much more disrespectful to me than the, "Sandy... er, Captain Sandy," reply did, but only by degrees. Her attitude through the entire exchange was one giant verbal eye roll hoping it would end soon so she could go back to tanning. I don't agree with how Captain Sandy is handling everything this season, but she is someone who gives second, (third, forth) chances if you show her the right attitude. Once she sees you as a bratty teenager, forget it. That said, I'll be surprised if Alyssa gets fired. Why did she ask Ross to witness the upcoming exchange when she didn't have a witness during Camille's firing? I think Alyssa's in for a verbal flaying and possibly a demotion - something that Sandy hopes will break the smug attitude for good. (It won't.) ETA: I could not adore Hailey more. From her self-depreciating sense of humor to the good natured way she deals with both drama and criticism, to her rocking body and hair and accent. She might be my new Aesha. Or better yet, I want to see them on a boat together.

Kudos to Rayna for getting sober and doing all the hard work that comes with that. I'm sure it isn't easy to face the feelings and realities you've been hiding from and I certainly wish her the best on that path. I was hoping that one of those realities she'd own might be the way she behaved on this show, especially repeatedly accepting Heather's apology and then badmouthing her anyway, and her shameful treatment of Wes, but I guess not. Instead she doubled down on Eddie for how he (mis)handled things. Rayna, you already "handled" things yourself the next morning, as was your right. It never needed to go any further than that. If you ultimately decided Heather's apology was insincere and you could not maintain a personal or professional relationship with her, then you had a decision to make: stay and shoulder it, or remove yourself from the situation. What you cannot do is change another person or a word they used in the past and no amount of complaining to everyone else was ever going to make things better. Wes, still the coolest and the classiest of the bunch. Who else wants to go to St. Thomas and book a cruise on his sailboat now?

Rayna seems very young and immature. All season, each time they showed the clips of Heather apologizing, Rayna saying it was all cool and hugging it out, and then Rayna continuing to be angry and badmouth Heather and tell other crew members about it ... yeesh. I'm sure Rayna probably felt at the time that her outrage was going to look very justified when it aired on TV, but instead it just looked like the worst and most immature way to handle the situation. If Rayna truly felt that the context did not matter in re: Heather's use of the word and that no apology would ever suffice, she needed to say so, agree to be professional for the duration of the season, but not offer forgiveness or friendship. Instead it seems what she really wanted was for everyone else to be outraged on her behalf and for Heather to be hated by the rest of the crew too. Or fired? Or burned at the stake? I'm not really sure what she wanted after having failed to get the crew in on the Heather-hate, but I suspect this is what made her go so high school gossip girl about it. In my opinion she's still no Lexi, but I do hope she grows up before (if) we have to see her on this show again. Rachel rocked this season. I love her sober and sage but no less of a crazy bad ass. Sure, some missteps with the preference sheets, but we've seen way worse and no one seems harder on her about it than she is on herself. She's a perfectionist, that's a hard mental burden to bear. I didn't mind the "quiet galley" business since she did make it clear up front that was what she needed to concentrate for dinner service and was asking others to respect it. Wes. Kind, laid back, handsome Wes. You are better than most of the people we've seen on this show. Take your money and run to your sailboat and enjoy your happy Caribbean life! Leave these yahoos in your past. Maybe Jess can come visit you.

I really hope Armando's drama with his father is just drummed up for the camera, because he seems like a down to earth person otherwise. Armando: if your dad, who has come to be with you on your wedding day, has a problem with you kissing or dancing with your husband, that's on him. He needs to own it, and you need to just keep being you and being glad he showed up and is trying. You can't change how he feels overnight. You can be grateful that he's loving and supporting you regardless. Just enjoy your day. And yes, I know he can't hear me say these things to the television, but my cat can and she TOTALLY AGREES WITH ME. Alina is a silly girl, and I think this marriage is a horrible idea, but man that Turkish wedding dress was gorgeous. Assuming you like a Ren Faire princess vibe (which I do). Jenny should go. Jenny won't go. Jenny should stop threatening to go if Jenny won't go. Go, Jenny, go! (Do you like my hat?)

I have never been on a yacht, nor do I know very much about regular poor people boats either, so maybe there is some boat-related reason for this but: why aren't all those deck cushions tied down??! Or at least velcroed to the benches. I always assumed they were being covered for protection from dirt and bad weather, not because otherwise they will all blow away to sea. That seems bonkers to me. Count me among those who doesn't understand why Frasier's radio would have been lost in the hidey-hole under the laundry room floor. Always the last place you look. THIS!!! I waitressed in fine dining for a long time, that is so much NO! I was very surprised to see it. Not five star, Heather! Not up to standard!

Aren't Kenny's daughters triplets? Obviously they're not identical, but they don't even look like the same age to me. Their reaction was baffling. "You'll forget all about us." ??? You're not six, honey. He's not trading you in for a new family. You are all adults, it's time to be less codependent on daddy. He would never say such a thing to you if you met someone, moved far away, and started a family somewhere else. Yeesh. Meanwhile, nothing Armando's father does is enough. He's not only trying, he's showing up and doing. These things can take time - I wish they'd give him more credit. I would like to know what Janice saw in Bini that convinced her his "No," was sincere. I don't know whether he cheated or not but I've seen more convincing acting on... well, on this show. That was the least convincing shifty, smiling, utterance of "nah," I've ever seen. I totally agree with whoever said that translator is a knock out though. Somewhere else on the planet, Corey and Evelyn are doing things, but at a very advanced speed. Almost as if they were moving X15 or X30 times the speed of normal people on my TV. And there was no sound. Huh. Weird.

That could be the tag line for this and several other TLC shows I've been addicted to over the years. What's wrong with us? Cynical me just assumed it was Production springing for that whole proposal extravaganza. Something about them seems so much more staged than the others this season. It's a very similar vibe that I got from Brittany and Yazan. I don't know - even for this show I'm just not buying them. As much as Kenny was bothered by not getting his sunset wedding (which, as others have said, could still have worked just fine by everyone gathering first for some food and drink, having the ceremony at sunset, and then partying the night away until curfew. How does that escape the attention of professional wedding planners?) I feel like his bigger beef was with how quickly Armando dismissed the idea in agreement with the planners. I thought the way he discussed it later with Armando and then let it go was thoughtful and spoke well of him as a partner. Are we to believe that all Indian families get up at dawn, do yoga, gag-clean their sinuses out with silly string, and then cook and clean for the remainder of the day regardless of "how many diarrheas" they have had? I was fine with accepting that Jenny and Sumit's cultures differed vastly from each other, specifically regarding one's obligation to parents and family, but now it's feeling a bit exploitative. Profoundly, deeply, snot and gag-inducing gross, and exploitative.

In previous seasons we've seen a stew swap back and forth between turn downs and service during dinners since both things need to be done while the guests are out of their cabins. I assume if you had more stews on a bigger boat, one could be dedicated to housekeeping exclusively, but when there are only three there'd have to be a lot of back and forth to get it all done in the same time frame. Maybe Fraser can't count? Those deck crew boys seem like trouble. I feel bad for Eddie.

Word. I didn't mind Kenny being honest about his homesickness. I don't think he was regretting his choice so much as admitting it's still hard to be separated from his family on a permanent basis. But I also kept thinking this solution was an obvious one. Heck, he doesn't even have to keep a home in Miami - with 4 kids to choose from he could rotate and not wear out his welcome with the same one over and over again. Although I guess it is expensive to travel and very few of the people on this show ever seem to have jobs. Re: the sunset wedding: I worked in the wedding industry for a long time. The amount of ridiculousness many people can insist on for "the most important day of my life!" is mindboggling. I can't excuse it here either, but it strikes me as stupidly typical. Unless I missed something (very possible) - if a daughter in law moving in with her husband's family and learning how to take care of everyone is so much the norm in India, wouldn't that mean that Sumit's brother and his newly-pregnant adorable wife are already doing that? If a family had six sons would they ALL bring their wives home to fulfill this role together? That'd have to be one big house. I feel like we're missing something here. I also didn't understand why, when discussing Bini's activities since Ari left, they kept referring to it as "hanging out with his friends," instead of "partying his ass off," which is what it actually appeared to be. Understandable, being young and now free to come and go as he pleases again, I just didn't see why the show wasn't calling a spade a spade here. And when I was Ari's age I was bothered by that behavior from boyfriends too. I don't know why, exactly. I guess I wanted them to be more mature and I was immature enough to think they'd change. HA! Oh, hello again, twenties, how I don't really miss you.

That braided chin/beard thing has GOT to go, but I'll take the rest of Victor's appearance with a grain of salt for now. The guy has been living without running water, electricity, or clean clothes - and in the tropical weather no less. That's the only pass I'm giving him or Ellie though - as others have said they were a vacation fling and should have stayed that way. The hurricane obliterating his and his family's homes should have changed her plans to go there. Also, there is just something about the way she says, "ProviDENcia" that makes me cringe. I think of Elaine Benes and "fiance!" Whether it's because he's a spineless doof or because he cannot escape the bonds of his culture doesn't matter, the fact is Sumit is never going to choose Jenny over his family, full stop. All their fighting and drama over it is stupid, but then they wouldn't be on TV if there were no drama. I wonder if they aren't actually both content with the way things are and all of this is for the cameras? The scene between Armando and his father was one of the few touching displays of genuine emotion I think I've seen on three seasons of this show, which really doesn't surprise me since I also think Armando and Kenny are one of the few genuine couples I've seen worth rooting for. But I really, really wish Kenny would learn more Spanish already. Hasn't he been in Mexico for, like, a year now? (Assuming last season was filmed pre-Covid?) It would not only make living there easier, but it would go a long way towards feeling a part of Armando's family. It would probably mean a lot to Armando too.