ScoobieDoobs

Now this is the convo I wanted to hear at the party btw Diane & Pomp- Pomp: Hi Mom, your dress is tacky & you look stupid. Diane: Hi Son, your hair looks like shit. Pomp: Wah! Wah! Wah! And runs away with Harrison 2 (or is it 3 or 4 or 5?) in tow & Cleve chasing not far behind. Thought balloon over Cleve -- He better give me a better ring than that cheap-looking, shitty thing Vic gave to Drinki. Prediction: June wedding for Pomp & Cleve -- while Dummer is making pouty faces at the wedding cuz she's bored silly with Chance. Thought balloon over Dummer -- OMG, I'm so sick of this guy's dumbness & his open-mouth hangdog shtick -- while she's making goggly eyes at Larry the Bodyguard . . .

All those sparkly dresses were hurting my eyes. Hey show, there are other fabrics out there for formal-wear that don't contain sparkles -- just an FYI! Idk, Sally's hair reminds me of my sis having that same color for a few months, maybe 20 years ago. She had to re-color every 2 weeks to maintain -- EEK! Poor Sally . . . she has to re-color her hair every other week & stand next to (& listen to) that dreary, self-absorbed creep. Which one, you ask? Take your pick of thousands GC has to offer.

She did -- instead she got someone who could get her a cappuccino & a muffin. Thanks a lot Jack, what a caring bro you are!

Actually, I kinda liked the use of various colors of the dresses. Nothing was truly hideous (altho a few came perilously close). Styles ranged from ho-hum to meh to unflattering. Sally's green thing had some kinda lump growing on her shoulder. Beautiful color, but WTF with that lump? Nikki's dress was a gorgeous color, but was cut too low in front & was totally shapeless. Made her look like a sparkly blue-green blob. Summer's dress was a pretty color, but so unflattering on her. Diane's dress was a very nice color, but we've seen that style a zillion times. Abby's, Vic's & Claire's dresses were unmemorable colors & styles --- zzzzzz. And Lauren, oh Lauren, who dressed you, RuPaul? She looked so outlandish, in a Marilyn Monroe dress & a Dolly Parton wig. She kept stumbling over the bottom of the dress. And her boobs looked enormous! I don't remember her having such giganto boobs -- were they rented for the night or did TEB have them done -- maybe to celebrate her 10,000th visit to her plastic surgeon? New Harrison was the best dressed male. Btw, will he be in high school by next month? Devon looked absolutely tiny. Michael's tux jacket was pulling & looked poorly fitted. And the jewelry? Well, Nikki's diamond necklace was stunning! The prob is, with an intricate piece like that, it's hard to appreciate on even a big screen TV, let alone a much smaller device. Same goes for the ring -- cuz a Burma ruby of that size could go for a half mil or more. The color was looking dark so it didn't seem too impressive. Nikki's diamond earrings & bracelet were interesting shapes, not often seen, but again, hard to appreciate thru TV & other devices. Now, Lauren had on really unusual & beautiful earrings. So nobody on that top-notch security team noticed the weird, shabby little "man" lurking right outside, constantly peering in & talking to "himself"? Ah, the best Vic can get in GC, eh?

Mmmmm, OK, Jack, thanks for the great tip -- so if a family member, close friend or neighbor is having an emergency mental health breakdown, we should . . . what? Dial Starbucks for any employee to come over quick? Hey, Jackie, why didn't ya call Mocha Joe? Maybe he could bring Larry along to inject a little humor into this dark, shitty mess. Oh no, could ED really be up for a Daytime Emmy for this crappy acting? Dummer, STFU and leave it to us to tear up Cleve! Thanks, hun. So Pomp, are ya really gonna poke the bear? OK, a mother/son beatdown with Diane might be fun to watch. I'm in. But any bets on when he'll start crying if she messes with his hair?

Looked like gold spikey 6 inch heels to me. Copying Audra's fashion sense, is she? Hmmmmm. Wish I could have enjoyed the slapdown of Diane & Billy, but no. The extremely cruel slamming of Traci left a very, very bad taste . . .

Sheesh, so the theme today was . . . uncomfortable & ugly, ugly, ugly, eh? Dark & ugly stuff. If you're in a depressed mood, I'd suggest skipping Wednesday's ep. Calling Audra "the town bicycle"? I hated that. Calling her a bimbo? Gave me a slight giggle. If she implied Audra's a hooker? Mmmm, OK, she gives off that impression. But "the town bicycle"? Did a male writer come up with that awful insult? Cuz it sounded misogynist, vulgar & ugly to me. Hated it. OK, writers (and it's not just JG, I'm sure), have crazy Ashley (I can't keep straight the name of the wackiest one that's supposedly saying this shit) throw the zingers & insults out at the rest of this bunch -- but what she said to Traci was hideous. Hated it and there was no reason for it. Why put out such an ugly ep for us to watch? No thanks. Big fail! I was kinda puzzled at Tuck all smiling & smirky when meeting Audra, after witnessing this ugly display. But yeah, it fits the character, that he might have cared for a second or 2 about Ashley, but then quickly moved on. Btw, why wasn't Abby asked to be in this intervention? Maybe they realized MO's acting ability wasn't up to it? Not that the others are any great shakes, but she is pretty bad.

Er, could one of those 800 makeup peeps in the credits maybe shave that gross fuzz off Cole & Vic -- please? Looking at those 2 makes me nauseous . . . The kiss between Cole & Victoria? There's more heat comin' outta my freezer! Uh, no. One of Ashley's personalities calling Audra a bimbo? Hooker would be more like it. Well, let's see now. We've seen her vast collection of 6 inch pumps, & backless/frontless/slinky outfits & we only see her either in Tuck's bed or the GCAC bar. Eh, guess hooker or bimbo would fit her. Idk, Cleve's sweetie-pie/huggie-poo act is getting on my nerves. And what's up with that halting way she delivers her lines? She's coming off very weird. How many times are Cleve & Victoria gonna hug? Enough already, it's making me wanna retch. So Ashley's personalities have names? Idk, I can't with this terribly written & acted storyline. Make it stop.

What I'm bothered by in that scene is ED's acting -- which is pretty rotten. Look, I think it was a mistake to give this split personality storyline to ED in the first place, cuz she's very limited as an actress. And her acting choices are not good. She's playing teen Ashley looking pouty & it isn't the way teens act. Reminds me of Lily Tomlin doing Edith Ann. Is she playing a teen or a 3 year old? Not good, ED, not good. Well, they needed to do a scene like that, cuz this storyline is becoming so confusing & unbearable to watch. And they really needed to define the personalities, cuz otherwise this could be mistaken for something else -- like schizophrenia, Alzheimer's or dementia. And those clearly couldn't be played for laughs, which the writers seem to wanna do here. I mean, I don't get it, but they do seem to be playing this storyline for giggles & chuckles. Not working for me -- anyone else? Actually, they could've had her wearing t-shirts with each personality's name on it, cuz I'm still confused as hell, which one is which. And why any of these personalities would confide in Audra (of all peeps in GC), who they'd probably all agree is a "yappy little bitch". Sorry, had to repeat that one cuz it did give me a giggle. Oh Drinki, do you really think one breath mint is gonna kill the VODKA STANK that 's gonna be like a smoke cloud all around you? Really? Could the Newman clan be so clueless as to not notice the VODKA STANK? Yup. Hey, anyone else think Cleve will notice the VODKA STANK first?

Yeah, I was seriously considering who the heck in GC could be a good parent to Connor -- and man, it gave me a headache. Never for a moment did I consider Vic . . . er, cuz wouldn't that make Drinki his new step-mom? Yikes, wouldn't that be transferring the kid from one shitty situation to another? Did someone say above that Amelia is "light-hearted"? Sheesh, you'd never know it from Victoria, who never even cracks a smile, let alone ever shows the slightest bit of a sense of humor. So wait, Vic & Drinki are celebrating 40 years of whatever -- so that would mean Nick & Victoria are less than 40? Pardon me while I contain my belly laughs now . . .

Idk, me thinks Chelsea was quite happy & relieved to dump the kid off anywhere ASAP, so she can whine & cry her head off endlessly & totally sink herself into her self-absorbed bullshit. And MCE must be thrilled to play this crap (that I can't stand watching), so she can do her shtick she honed for so long on AMC -- crying, crying, crying and more crying. Feh. And Adam? OK, we know he's an asshole, but sheesh, do the writers really have to smack us with this every 2 seconds? His cynicism & paranoia kinda makes sense for the character, but it was depressing to watch. He sorta had a valid point that yeah, it is pretty severe for this place to cut the kid off from his parents for an undefined period of time. But look at who his parents are! The 2 biggest fucked up messes in GC -- and just a reminder, GC is chock full of parents who are fucked up messes. Made me feel sorry for Connor that he has these 2 fucked up messes for parents. Would make a good storyline for him to befriend either Tessa or Mariah & ask them raise him. It's the only chance that kid's got for a sane upbringing, cuz the school is only a temporary solution. And T&M seem rather sweet to me, like they'd make thoughtful, attentive & caring parents -- a rare thing indeed in GC!! Billy is an idiot and a fool. That's all I got on him.

Um, what the hell was up with that sappy shit Tuck was saying to Audra? OK, first off, Tuck is supposed to be this tough-ass smirky SOB . . . and he's saying all that crap about skywriting his love for her & how "sweet" she is (er, puke, Audra ain't sweet!!!!) & looking all sad-eyed when she doesn't say yes to his cringey proposal & cheap-looking ring? Seriously, what the ever-lovin' fuck is going on with the inconsistent writing of characters here? And sure, I can buy Audra's act of playing hard to get, but she's got nothin' goin' on for herself. And he's offering her some security -- even if it is just sharing that shitty little room. So we'll see if she plays hard to get for long. And btw, the makeup peeps must've forgotten to smear under Tuck's eyes, the crap they slather on Jack, cuz he looked like shit today in closeups -- with sunken black eyes. Either that or the lighting peeps hate Trevor. Wow, Nikki, now you're not even hiding the booze anymore in the living room pillows? Why not carry the vodka around in a paper bag? Or better still, just get a tasteful little flask from the GCAC gift shop, put it on a chain & carry it around for all to see? Yup, I'd say that's the way to go now, hun . . . Anyone else think we'd see Jordie's mug poking thru the window when Nikki took her thirsty swig? Maybe in her next oh-so-inconspicuous disguise -- as a GC milkman. Even tho there haven't been milkmen around for 50 years, that Jordie is always so great at her disguises!

So Jordie has super powers too? We already know she can break out of anywhere & has the ability to get unlimited access to makeup, wigs, clothes & money. Now we see that she can clearly hear conversations from 10 feet away? Mmmm, OK, sure, that's real believable . . . Tuck looked better today. The makeup people must be saving some of the shit they're painting over Jack with & spackling a ton of it under Trevor's eyes to cover up those dark circles. The ring? Looked like something you could get off HSN or JTV for 50 bucks. OK, Audra, enjoy the cheap shitty ring, but are ya really gonna cram yourself into Tuck's crappy little room? Sounds like a crummy deal to me, but she's got nothing else going on. So I liked Tessa's dress, but then she turned around & we see it's backless down to her tush! Er, huh??? Is this a trend in LA now? To wear something like that in the Midwest now is nuts -- unless you're Audra, that is. But then again, Audra has very different reasons for wearing backless (and frontless?) dresses . . . On a serious note, given Ashley's description of memory loss and her age (I know we're not supposed to acknowledge that half the cast is eligible for AARP & some for Medicare), if I were Traci, I'd be concerned about Ashley exhibiting the signs of Alzheimer's or Dementia. And no, I wouldn't honor some idiotic pinky swear. Sheesh, it's really bugging me how the 50-something & 60-something characters on here are acting & speaking like they're children. It's annoying & dumb!

What is it about Cole that's so off? The weird facial growth on J. Eddie? It's not quite a beard, but looks like a shadow on his face & gives a kinda scary appearance, like the mountain men in Deliverance. When J. Eddie first started back he had a gray/white streak & now that's gone & he's been fully dyed (which actually makes him look better), but that shit on his face makes him look creepy. And yeah, there is zero romantic chemistry between J. Eddie & Amelia -- just looked very uncomfortable trying to force that. Not sure if it's Amelia or the character, but I've thought of Victoria as a total cold fish. Not so when Heather Tom was playing her. Yeah, yeah, I know -- wink, wink, nudge, nudge, we were supposed to laugh ourselves silly when Phyllis says (like she's 12) that vengeance against an ex is soooo petty -- 3 seconds after she pulled the fire alarm while her ex is having sex with someone else. Meh to the writers on that one. More stupid than funny. Heather continues to annoy the piss outta me. I really can't stand how Vail "acts" with her hair. Kinda makes me wanna dump pancake syrup on her just to stop that fucking hair-acting. But then again, I wanted to dump pancake syrup on that whole awful group -- including Daniel, Phyllis & Billy. Intolerable assholes, every one of 'em!! You know, they really should be showing us what Claire is thinking to herself. My guess would be she's saying -- Awesome, now I'm an heiress, and I'm gonna play all these idiots as long as I have to, to get as much dough as I can, and Jordan can fuck off if she tries to disrupt my plans for being rich . . .

Had a few chuckles today- Ashley's personality today -- I'll call her Smug Ashley -- calling Audra "a yappy little bitch" Mmmm, OK. Adam having trouble getting into the Newman ranch cuz as Vic put it -- they don't like him. Who does, Vic, who does? I'm thinking roaches scamper in the opposite direction when they see Adam coming! And Jordie in man drag -- er, that disguise is supposed to be inconspicuous & hard to spot in a crowd? Yeah, right. Did give me a giggle at first sight. Smug was the theme of the day in GC, eh? We had Smug Ashley, and smug Claire, acting so overly confident & getting way too aggressive in her approach with Summer. I don't trust her for a second! Oh, then there's smug Summer. She is really bugging the piss outta me. OK, Summer, you have the hottest guy in soapland, but he's also dull & dumb as a rock, and you'll certainly screw it up & not last long with him anyway, so get over yourself, hun. And Tuck? Every time I see that crappy little room of his, I can't believe he's supposed to be some sort of mogul. Between the tiny room, how pathetic he was, begging for Audra to forgive him & how terrible his face looks in closeups, he's coming off like such a loser. And what is it with the doors in the GCAC? Are they made of paper, that Ashley can just walk in whenever? And why does nobody use the elevator there -- or is there one? I know I'm not supposed to ask this, but where is Jordie getting the wigs, makeup, outfits & money? Even a fleabag motel costs something. And how does she get around? Is she able to walk everywhere or does GC have extensive bus lines? Not likely. I know, silly me for asking these questions . . .

Er, I can see 3 thought balloons over the heads of ALL the poor people in attendance at Nikki's AA meeting (maybe Jackie too)- "And we should care about any of your bullshit . . . uh, why?" "And this is helping us with our sobriety . . . uh, how?" "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." Hey, we got a preview of Ashley's next personality -- Messy-Hair Ashley! Eeeek! Someone on the show without overly styled hair! Heavens, it can't be!!! Wow, Tuck looked ragged today, with heavy bags & jet-black circles under his eyes. I say the crazy makeup person that's been shellacking Jack orange should scoop up some of the same goop & spackle a shit-ton of that stuff under Trevor's eyes. Ashley must be really whacked out to wanna hook up with that . . .

Easy to explain the The Bug's presence on the show, but her? We need an investigation! Claire explained how Jordie is so good at research cuz she clearly found the perfect drug to plan her escape. Maybe Jordie can help us find an answer to this -- that is, while she's on a break from torturing the Vics & Niks . . .

Yawn, so Jordie escaped -- oh, we never could've predicted that! Anyone surprised? Anyone? The kid who plays Connor is actually a pretty good actor. But then again, look at who he's playing against -- the idiot who thinks bawling her eyes out is acting & the fool who "acts" with his cheekbones. So yeah, hard to judge the kid's acting skill with those 2 nearby, but I still think he's OK. Connor is way better off getting far away from those 2, who would completely ignore him & offer him zero help. Even if he were to get regular therapy, think those 2 would monitor if he was actually going? Yeah, right. Chelsea would be continuing on her weepy crying binges & babbling about her oh-so-terrible past, & Adam's too busy causing trouble for everyone & just being a PITA & an asshole. Did some crazy makeup person paint Jack orange today? Kyle's pomp didn't look pointy today. Was waiting for Claire to notice that. Still trying to predict when those 2 will be married. May or June?

It's not just that she's got a frozen face. She's a non-actor (like so many others on the show -- er, Josh Morrow, cough, cough) who were cast cuz of their looks, have little acting experience & no training or talent, yet stay on the show forever. Yup, the most we can expect from Vail is looking at her hair. She "acts" (if you can call it acting) with her hair -- which is maybe the only thing on her that might change, cuz she's got no range of any emotions. From what I can see, Heather has no sense of humor either. She never smiles or laughs & she's mostly charmless. And yet Daniel, GC's resident hipster (we know this cuz he's got greasy hair & tats -- oh my!), and self-described artiste & rebel, is so nuts for her? Why? Any guesses where they're going with these idiotic storylines? Will Jordan be forever breaking out of wherever & killing off anyone near her for chuckles & giggles? This is supposed to be hilarious and/or interesting? Not so much. The "Ashley & her personalities" bit is wearing thin. If it's being played for laughs, it ain't working. It's falling flat. ED is OK, but she ain't Erica Slezak, who was & is an excellent actress. And Erica had some well thought out storylines (at least for a while). This seems so random, with no direction at all. That's why I keep making suggestions on more personalities cuz I'm so bored with what we're getting. These storylines stink!

No, I'm the bitch cuz I was sorta chuckling at her behavior. Anyhoo, the one who was really annoying me was The Bug, who was acting all haughty & overly confident that she caught "the prize". Er, as if a has-been, wrinkly elder sorta-musician is such a prize! I'm not digging The Bug's attitude. I'd like to see him change his mind. He's so wimpy & wishy-washy that it's believable he'd impulsively kick The Bug outta bed & go for Phyllis. Hey, if Phyllis wants to be looking at that wart on his nose & his badly dyed hair so much -- I say, let her!

Oh Lily, much as I wanted you to fire those 2 self-absorbed assholes, that was pretty much the worst move! Now they're in a position to sue and/or get a very big settlement. C-W is supposed to be a big company, right? Uh, Lily, you're not sixteen & your boyfriend broke up with you before the prom. And you ain't running Mel's Diner. There are smart ways to handle this situation -- certainly thru company lawyers, definitely separately & absolutely in the office. But firing them in the coffee joint -- and then emphasizing to asshole Daniel how he "betrayed" her? Sheesh, dumb, Lily, dumb! That's saying the exact thing you wouldn't want to say on why they're being fired. Cuz that'll give 'em ammo when suing and/or trying to get a big settlement. Billy being so self-righteous was getting on my last nerve. And his "sympathy" for Lily was cringey, it was so insincere. He can go piss off. The Connor stuff is boring me. Just seems to be an excuse for Chelsea to get all weepy. Well, it must be in MCE's contract she has to cry in every ep she's in -- it's her shtick. Feh.

No doubt he was very good looking in a pretty boy way when he was romancing Jo on The Facts of Life in 1988 -- and on Y&R (maybe in the 90's). So what the heck happened? Too much smoking/booze/drugs or just unfortunate genetics? Fact is, women could never get away with looking as bad as Damian does on cam. The bed scenes with him and the bug were cringey. Ew. But this was a cringey ep, wasn't it? Was it Phyllis' behavior or Michelle Stafford's too loud delivery & really awful acting that was so disturbing? Blech to all of it. So today we got to see Teen Ashley & Slutty Ashley & variations & combos of both. Mmmm, OK. Now I'm waiting for Cougar Ashley to go after Chance or Nate. I wish she'd give up on Tuck cuz he's just seeming so pathetic & dull lately. C'mon, Ashley, develop a personality that finally sees Tuck as the sunken-eyed loser he is & move on to someone else. Maybe Slutty Ashley can go drinking & looking for hook-ups with Phyllis at the GCAC bar. Phyllis looked like she needed a drinking partner real bad . . .

When? In 1991? The old dude I saw doing AARP soft-porn with "the bug" looked really wrinkled & terrible. I never cared for him, but 30 years ago he was a sorta pretty boy type, but always a really lousy actor. Those closeups of Damian (with that giant wart on the side of his nose) made me think -- do I watch this or pour bleach in my eyes? Which is a more unpleasant experience? It's a toss-up. Gotta say, I really bristle whenever I hear Victor refer to someone as "that woman". Wasn't he calling Claire, "that Claire woman" like maybe a month ago? Sounds so fucking misogynist! I know, I know, he's been a misogynist for the over 40 years he's been on the show, but it's a slap-in-the-face reminder of just how much of a misogynist Victor is. Oh, I almost feel a tiny bit sorry for Michelle Stafford in how humiliating it is now to play Phyllis. Pulling a fire alarm? Really? Where is the inspiration for this brilliance? Leave it to Beaver? So she's 50-something going on 12? I swear this shit with Danny, the Bug & Phyllis could have been from 30 years ago. It's so idiotic & lazy. Er, aren't prisoners escaping, a mostly unusual thing? Ah, but not for Jordan, eh? She's an elderly woman, but that doesn't matter cuz she can break out of anywhere. Man, this super-villain crap is so dumb. Yeah, don't be fooled by Lily's stance. I thought she finally got a spine & was gonna kick the crap outta GC's 2 biggest assholes (other than Adam, Tuck & a couple of Ashley's personalities). But nah, she gave us the hint she's gonna forgive those 2 assholes & will continue to be GC's resident doormat, at the ready, to be shit all over by everyone.. Enjoy being shit on Lily, I couldn't care less. Btw, if I took a drink (maybe stealing the vodka Nikki hides in the living room pillows) every time one of those assholes said how they didn't intend to hurt Lily, I'd be passed out cold.

Only thing worth watching is the preview showing Lily snarling at that smug bitch Heather -- and Heather with a look on her smug mug, realizing that Lily is in a position to screw her over but good. Screw the bitch over, Lily -- and while you're at it, smash a shit-pie right in that fucking waste-of-space Daniel's stupid mug! Man, I was getting so sick of watching Diane be all sweet & considerate. Never bought it for a second. About time the real snake Diane came out to bite the heads off everyone near her . . . Vic & Nik getting all cuddly-wuddly with Claire (or should we be calling her Eve now?) was making me really nauseous. Was also distracted by that Facts of Life school uniform on Claire/Eve -- um, WTF???

Nick trying to be funny was painful. Truly painful. So J. Eddie is a shitty actor in dreams too? Mmm. OK. Me? I woulda had Adam dragging around a ball & chains -- or something truly humiliating. But I guess being a server in GC would qualify? Sorry, but the Jordon-is-just-so-terrifying crap -- cue scary music -- is getting really tiresome. Yawn. Time to bring out more Ashley personalities. I'm still hoping for lesbian Ashley cuz Mariah puts me to sleep. From the previews, looks like sweetie-pie Diane has been vanquished & the real viper Diane is back in town. Good luck being married to that, Jackie boy.