Melancholy

Harry said that and he said that he lost family in the Holocaust. For me, that’s enough for Harry to exemplify what I described above.

I'm Jewish- I think Harry's ultimatum was very realistic. Yes, he's not particularly observant. However, Judaism has been rendered into a race/ethnicity over time, not least of which by anti-Semites who want to destroy the Jewish people. There's an element of cultural pride/familial obligation/defiance to refuse to abandon the Jewish people and participate in the erosion of the group by marrying and raising children outside of the faith and to leave a even smaller, even more vulnerable Jewish population as your legacy by taking your children outside the group. He's also profoundly culturally Jewish- Yiddish in conversations, Jewish food, holidays. It makes sense that he'd really care about having a household that matches his identity. I'm Jewish and living with and contemplating marriage to a Catholic man. I'm not really observant either but being Jewish is quite important to me. I won't ask him to convert because his Catholicism is about as important to him as my Judaism is to me. We're not devout or even particularly observant but it's a crucial part of our identity and we celebrate the holidays and milestones of our faith. Our parents are even more religious. They support our relationship and unlike Harry's mother, they haven't demanded a promise to marry within the faith. However, I think his dad and my mom would REALLY have problems with their child converting. We've discussed that we'll just figure out compromising on having a place for both faiths in our future family- but I anticipate that it'll be complicated. Now, I don't think Charlotte cared as much about Episcopalianism as Harry and I care about Judaism or my boyfriend cares about Catholicism. In the conversion storyline, Charlotte mourns giving up Christmas but we never really see her celebrate holidays or look forward to raising her children specifically within a faith. In the series, it looks like she took to being Jewish more than she did Episcopalianism. LOL, I get why- we've got awesome food, cute Yiddish words to sprinkle in conversations, a looooong, fascinating history, very social synagogues that take marriage and having kids very seriously, and holidays that encourage liberal consumption of wine.

No, Big never asked Carrie to come live with him in Napa. He left her plane tickets to come visit but that's it.

Alex represented the Paris move as permanent. "I'm done with New York. It's time for Paris." Alex was returning back to a city where he spent more time and where his daughter lives. The move was "could be permanent, could be temporary- all depending on the longevity of Carrie/Alex." So, it seems pretty "all or nothing" to me. Carrie was going to Paris to live for as long as Alex would have her. On a practical level, Carrie has to work. Unlike Charlotte, Carrie wasn't married to a man who'd support her. Carrie leaving her column without a job lined up was just more huge example of her irresponsibility with money. This was no more responsible than Carrie blowing $40,000 on shoes. She was giving up her own line of cash on the hopes that Alex would support her when Alex wasn't legally or vocally emotionally bound to do so. Moreover, Carrie had frequently gushed about her identity as a *writer* and a classic "New York columnist.* Carrie represented that her career as a writer was fundamental to who she was far more than Charlotte did. Miranda was absolutely reacting to that. IMO, Miranda would be cooler with this choice if Carrie had plans to write in Paris and shop that around to other publications. However, Carrie was planning to do NOTHING but please Alex and tour Paris. I think Alex seemed like an asshole at the dinner party or how he brusquely dismissed Carrie's friends or how he demanded that Carrie follow him to Paris before they even took a trip together. These were just red flags- I'll agree that Alex wasn't abusive. But as a friend, I'd consider these red flags to point out to my friend dating such a man. Miranda liked Berger and Aiden. Miranda was a huge Aiden fan. She went out shopping for wedding rings with Aiden. She didn't like Big and Alex. So, Miranda was 50/50 for Carrie's long-term guys. I'll agree that Miranda was selfish in rooting for Big to get Carrie when Miranda thought he was wrong for Carrie. However, I think Miranda was acting along with the logic of the show. By Big humbly and effortfully trying to win Carrie back by going to her friends or schlepping all the way to Paris, Big indicated that he was finally ready to settle down with her and turned over a new leaf.

I think Big did jilt Carrie, but it was a "soft" jilt. He went back to do to the wedding. He seemed more like he had doubts rather than some firm finality that he didn't want to marry her. My dad got cold feet at marrying my mother- but her father firmly walked him down the aisle and my dad and mom were happily married for 30 years until my dad's passing. I think cold feet and jitters are more common than people want to admit. However, I think they're typically quietly worked through by the groom's confidante/best man. Big was bizarre in the movies. He's this blue-blooded, wealthy, corporate man-about-town big shot but...he seemed completely alone and bereft of actual friends and family. In the series, it always seemed like Big had this other social life beyond his relationship with Carrie but he was mysterious and un-gettable so we never saw it. In the movies, he just looked like a pathetic guy who only had money and Carrie. It was weird that, as the groom, he was leaning so much on Carrie to salve his wedding jitters. Carrie was 100% happy because she's a moron who needed to be told that her choice was stupid. Just because Carrie was happy with making a stupid choices doesn't mean that she should be insulated from hearing that her choice is dumb. Her screaming at Big is a classic example. She screams at Big that they're done forever and she hates his guts. Then when he rescues her from Paris, suddenly Big is her End Game Twu Wub. Carrie was behaving completely irrationally at the end of S6. I was like, yelling at her through my TV set so I can't even imagine the level of phoniness that it would take for Miranda to hang with Carrie while pretending that her choices to chase Alex to Paris over her job and friends were reasonable. I don't think it's fair to expect friends to just swallow their huge objections to how another friend is living their life so that they can be a yes-man to bad decisions. In that case, it's not asking for a friend. It's acting for a professional actor and bullshit artist. Charlotte and Sam also thought Carrie was making a bad choice to go to Paris but they were far more gentle and tactful. Carrie still barked at them for daring to ask her pointed questions about the logistics of the move. I understand why the paper didn't want the Paris angle. It's a New York paper and its whole point is to cover New York news. Carrie's column was relevant to those New York readers because she was constantly name-checking New York restaurants and sites and issues affecting classic NYC single girls. I forget the name of the paper but IIRC it was very localized to NYC news as opposed to a more international paper like the New York Times. This was an editorial decision and I think the editor had complete discretion here. I don't think Carrie's editor had an obligation to pivot their "sex and NYC" column to a "sex in Paris" column because Carrie wanted to chase some Russian peen. But at any rate, realistic or not, Carrie was giving up a sweet gig to chase a man when they weren't even in love. Miranda moved to Brooklyn to live with a man she loved and was married to so they could raise their child and she kept her job as an attorney. Samantha moved to LA for a man she loved and she retained her publicist career in LA. The mere act of moving wasn't bothering Miranda. It seems like she was quite cool with Samantha moving to LA because Samantha still retained her career and ability to support herself and Smith and Samantha had a deep, love-filled relationship that already withstood trials. Miranda objected to Carrie giving up her job, her ability to support herself for Alex, and a key part of her identity as the Sex and the City columnist when Alex seemed like an asshole and he and Carrie weren't in love/in a deeply committed relationship. I would loudly object to as a friend. It's incredibly self-destructive and irresponsible to throw away your amazing career to go chase a man across an ocean who isn't committed to you and when you're both not in love with each other. Carrie set up a situation where Alex could dump her in two weeks and she'd be left with absolutely nothing. I can't imagine that she has savings and her friend group is fresh out of spare engagement rings post-divorce. I wasn't surprised that the Paris move was a disaster. I was just surprised that Carrie got her column back and Big chased her to Paris to give her an romantic end-game after she yelled at him to stay out of her life.

I was on Miranda's side. The girls' friendship dynamic is that they share their life problems/conundrums with each other and others give advice or state agreement or disagreement with choices. They are known for their frank and blunt conversations where they all don't hold back on getting graphic in their stories and snarky in their disagreements with the others' decisions. Of course, the decision to go to Paris was Carrie's. Miranda wasn't imprisoning Carrie back in New York. However Miranda was going to act out their usual friendship pattern- to bluntly call out a bone-headed life decision of Carrie's as she saw it. And it was bone-headed. I knew that Carrie's choice was deeply stupid before she got to Paris. Carrie had an incredibly sweet gig because she was "Carrie Bradshaw", Sex and the City columnist and she was giving that up to go to Paris to chase after a man who she didn't love and who never said that he loved her or made her any promises of commitment. She was also leaving her supposed "soulmate" friends to go live in a city which she never even visited. Carrie was demanding that her friends act completely out of character from their usual dynamic- to never ask questions and never disagree with her choices but just enforce being happy for her as she's been happy for them. Even though Carrie stated very snarky objections to Samantha getting back with cheating!Richard or Charlotte quitting her job or Miranda dumping Steve on Round 2. I support Miranda here because I think she was right. I don't disagree with the girls telling Miranda that she should forgive and get back with Steve in the movie because they were getting involved in her life. They should and do get involved in each other's lives. I disagreed because I thought it was *wrong advice* as opposed to Miranda's ultimately correct advice that Carrie shouldn't chase Alex to Paris and give up her career to do so. IMO, there was clearly something very wrong in Miranda's and Steve's marriage that she didn't want to have sex with him for six months and he reacted by cheating instead of trying to work through the problem. It was clearly a bad marriage on both sides. So, I think it was stupid and bizarrely old-fashioned that the girls were pleading Miranda to save a marriage clearly gone bad no matter what.

Oh, I know. I was saying that Carrie *was* insecure and wanted the affirmation that *all* of her friends thought she was a good candidate for a loan and she didn't need to depend on Big, not that she deserved her friends to put their money on the line to increase Carrie's confidence. Also, I'm not convinced that Charlotte genuinely developed confidence in Carrie's ability to pay back the loan. IMO, Charlotte felt defensive and made to feel like she was being mean because she wasn't ponying up the money so Charlotte was bullied into giving Carrie her ring. I really agree with all of this. Absolutely, Cynthia Nixon had much better chemistry with Blair Underwood than David Eigenberg. Robert was such a great boyfriend while he was with Miranda. He suddenly acted like a jerk when Miranda broke up with him- but that felt completely out of step with Robert in every previous ep because Robert was basically *perfect*. IMO, if Robert was endgame the writers would have had to write reasonable, non-deal-breaker flaws into Robert. Harry and Smith were truly outstanding princes among men but they had flaws and obstacles to Samantha's/Charlotte's vision of who they'd end up with while Boyfriend!Robert was literally perfect and everything that Miranda had indicated she wanted. I stand by that Miranda preferred Steve because Steve felt more comfortable and familiar because they've known each other for so long and they have a child together. I think Miranda could have been happier in the last season and the movies if she did the work to get to know Robert as well as she knew Steve. I generally loved Charlotte more as the series progressed and she grew- although I might prefer S1-2 Charlotte to Married to Trey!Charlotte because I thought the gallery/art stories were so interesting and funny. But Charlotte is best with Harry. I also like Samantha more and more in the later seasons. Her string of one-night stands was funny in the early seasons but it so interesting to see her fall in deeper relationships with Richard and then, try an unbelievably, inappropriate but ultimately adorable and sweet relationship with Smith. (The movies stripped all of that growth and complexity from Sam.) I thought Miranda had her pluses and minuses through the series- but I think she was way too harsh to enjoy in S1. However from S2 through S6, Miranda was always on a see-saw between overly harsh and overly doormatty and I always liked her but felt frustrated by her. Now, Carrie is an easy case- I disliked her more and more with every passing season (and movie). I actually have the positive, series-desired view of her in S1- an overgrown teenager who can't budget or settle down but has such a huge heart and personality and such a inner commitment to figuring how to live life excellently that we should all have confidence in her and love her adorable self. However, that dimmed and curdled with every passing season of her learning nothing but making more hurtful and bone-headed choices.

The Tea for Two thing was silly but generally, Later Charlotte is my favorite Charlotte because of her relationship with Harry.

I agree mostly with @Ms Blue Jay and her reasons for why Carrie wanted the help specifically from Charlotte. I think Carrie was very jealous of Charlotte and how Charlotte left her marriage a wealthy woman while Carrie left a relationship with her own financial troubles dogging her. I think jealousy is a subtle dynamic of the Carrie/Charlotte relationship- Charlotte is the "shiny hair, style section, Vera Wang" socialite that Carrie feels threatened by. Charlotte reaming Carrie out for cheating with married!Big right when Charlotte is about to get married furthers the Charlotte = Natasha connections. I think, generally speaking, Charlotte is who Carrie wants to be, Miranda is who Carrie wants to approve of her, and Samantha is who Carrie can relax with. I do agree with @Gothish520, though, that Carrie did know that she fucked up badly with money and Carrie also wanted the affirmation that Charlotte didn't think she was a fuck up who deserved to live in a crappy apartment and couldn't be relied on to pay a loan back. Carrie has a deep insecurity where she'll seize on how ONE person doesn't like her or doesn't think highly of her and she'll go at changing that opinion of her with relentlessness. It happens all the time- Natasha, Nina Katz, Aiden Round 2, Enid, even Carrie Fisher lol (I think that's one of the funniest scenes of the show. Half dressed, sexed up trespassing!Carrie is all "I'm a writer! You're a writer! I'm Carrie!...You're Carrie!" I die of laughter.)

I completely agree that I like the idea of Miranda ending up with a laid back, happy-go-lucky blue collar person but Steve was written and acted very poorly. I pretty much never liked Steve. He either seemed nasty or insipid or both. Miranda was an odd combination of push-over sweetie pie and hard-as-nails bitch. It was interesting but frustrating. I feel like Miranda had this exhausting bitchy affect of perpetually making harsh remarks and coming to most social interaction with a strident, harsh "You wanna piece of me" vibe. However on the deeper stuff, Miranda was so generous and self-effacing and self-abnegating to the point that she didn't look out for her interests. Like loaning Carrie the apartment money when she had a baby on the way. Or begging Carrie round the clock for forgiveness in the first movie for....blurting out that marriage can suck and fail to twice-divorced Big. Or letting Steve stay on her couch after they broke up and then, going apartment-shopping with him. Or starting raising Brady from the get-go by refusing any of Steve's financial or time help. Charlotte was the opposite. Charlotte had a very sweet, dainty, adorable affect but she'd quietly and relentlessly focus on getting exactly what she wanted out of life. Sometimes Charlotte would be phony that way but mainly, Charlotte was clear-eyed about catching flies with honey but still never giving up her wants for anyone and thus, lived her life smarter than Harvard!Miranda.

Interesting. I didn’t know YouTube would hold my erroneous place when I linked the vid on this board.

Alyson Hannigan and her daughter Saty competed on Master Chef Junior. Alexis Denisof and their other daughter were in attendance. Aly and Saty competed against Lil Rel of Get Out fame and his daughter. "I'm TS- mother-fuckin' A. We handle shit....Consider this situation fucking handled." Alyson, Saty, and Family were incredibly cute and endearing. I posted the video link. The Aly parts start around 29 minutes in.

Carrie makes a big belligerent argument about how her new gig at Vogue means she's particularly likely to pay Charlotte back. Then in the next ep, Carrie apparently write an article for Vogue that's far more about sex than fashion and doesn't bring a pen to her first meeting with her editor to take down notes. Carrie is bitterly offended at her first piece getting harshly criticized- even though harsh criticism is the diet of most periodical writers. After her first meeting, Carrie gets hammered at Vogue's offices. Yes, she drank at Julian's invitation but it was her fault that she drank so above her limits that she couldn't even walk out of the building unassisted. A 35-year "professional party gal" should know how much she can drink without devolving into a sloppy mess. Then, she wanted to quit because Enid was critical of her first submitted piece and only first stayed because Julian buttered her up (with his designs to sleep with her) and then, Enid warmed to her. She never considers for a second whether she can pay Charlotte back without this vaunted Vogue gig and whether she has an obligation to try to stick it out through, like, her second piece or something.

A lot of people complain about having to commute to a big city like Manhattan for their job because it's so expensive to live in the city itself. The funny thing is that Carrie didn't even have that problem- she works from home. I would imagine that she could live outside of Manhattan as long as she was "commuting" to Manhattan to fuck guys and socialize with her friends and go to clubs i.e. the "Sex and the City" content of her column. Those off-hours commutes aren't as taxing as the grind of rush hour commutes every work day. I think this series neglected to do some interesting character-exploration in how the demands of the Sex and the City column shape Carrie's psyche. I think you could definitely make the case that Carrie felt pressured to have a very specific lifestyle- the quirky, single NYC heroine who always "can't help but wonder" because she's perpetual adorable ingenue- because that was her column persona. I think that the column plays a role in shaping her to refusal to live anywhere but Manhattan or to chase after Big, an emotionally unavailable man, instead of marrying Aiden or her paranoia that Natasha or Nina Katz are living their own lives where Carrie is actually the villain of their story instead of the heroine. That was some rich, meta-ground that should have come up in her therapy sessions or lunches with the girls. As it is, I really see the column as a negative force on her psyche in the show. "Why do you have to take the bus if you're on the bus?" "My thoughts exactly!" Later in the series, it would unthinkable that Miranda would hector her friends for money so that she, Steve, and Brady could live in a *Manhattan apartment* with enough space. Those apartments do exist for the wealthy i.e. Heaven on Fifth. Heck, maybe Miranda could have swung that if she ended up with Robert instead of picking Steve. The series delivered a strong message that Miranda had an obligation as a wife and mother to live in the best place that her family could afford, even if it means giving up on the excitement and cool of living in Manhattan. The series was clear-eyed that Miranda wasn't owed big city glamour. That was the mature message but it's interesting that the series can deliver such clear-eyed messages but Carrie is the special snowflake immune to reality.

I think Miranda was actually a little silly to offer the money. She had a baby on the way. An actual baby, not a Carrie-baby. I’ve no doubt Miranda believed she could swing the loan in normal circumstances but what if there were special circumstances. What if she lost her job or wanted to get a less stressful, Lower paying job because of the unexpected demands of being a single mother? What if her child was born with special needs? Miranda needed her life savings. Samantha could more responsibly loan the money but even for her, she was also planning on donating her life savings. Charlotte was being prudent. Everyone was acting like she was set from the divorce but the later plot shows that Bunny would contest giving Charlotte the apartment because Trey didn’t actually own it. If Bunny won back the apartment, Charlotte could face financial issues even with the million dollar prenup amount unless she had more reserves from her parents (which is possible but not stated.) Big is the only gazillionare here who wouldn’t miss the money.