jmonkey

Jesse/Darcy-I don't really see any love between these two. They don't even like each other. Jesse has such palpable contempt for Darcy who just wants to be loved. As horrible as Jesse is, I must say he is a good tourist. He's always interested in the sights and attractions. That's worth noting since many of these couples don't seem to have much of an interest in getting to know the culture/environment of the person they supposedly love. I mean, the dude went ga-ga over carrot cake. It's just too bad Jesse/Darcy can't be together long enough to enjoy even a simple meal together. Speaking of, I'm definitely Team Jesse for Steakgate. It's so annoying when you're entrusted with a task and someone else takes over. If Darcy wanted the steak done in a certain way for her daughters, she should've given Jesse another task. Otherwise she should've just let him ruin dinner. I mean, Jesse butchered that steak. It looked terrible. Of course I prefer well done, so any pink on the inside makes me gag. I think the producers missed out on a golden opportunity by not showing Darcy and her daughters gnawing on Jesse's tough steak. That could've been a hilarious scene, and Jesse and Darcy could've still argued about how Jesse cooked the steak incorrectly followed by the classic Jesse storming out. I feel bad for Darcy's daughters. They shouldn't have to see any of this or be on the show. period. I also feel bad for the Air BnB hosts. I wonder if Jesse and Darcy got a bad review for their domestic disturbance. The idea they can act like such idiots in someone else's home really annoys me. BTW, I thought Darcy and Jesse were a little too friendly with the butcher. TMI on Jesse pointing out that he's not the father. The butcher is just there to cut some meats. He's not there to question paternity. Darcy needs to cut the crap. I get that she's insecure and wants to be with a young buck who can make her look good and give her her groove back. I don't even know if Jesse is that guy. There's not a lot of fruit in those looms. However, Jesse clearly makes her feel worse about herself. Yeah, she puts on this independent woman front, but Jesse makes her seem like such a doormat. Ideally she would've ironed out most of her issues in her 20s, but she really would benefit from the validation of an older, settled man. No, Stan, the 44-year-old accountant, isn't a male model and may not be exciting or the best in the sack, but you could present him to your daughters and not worry about him getting angry and storming off. You wouldn't even have to tell him to be on his best behavior because Stan is the same nice guy in all situations. Why Darcy thinks that she has to try and make it work with a jerk like Jesse is beyond me? There's nothing about this relationship that's a fairy tale. It's just toxic and they have to be doing this for camera time and the TLC paycheck. Ricky Suave/Ximena-Never underestimate the power of the fanny pack, ladies and gentlemen. You're not knocking Ricky down. His first choice on Colombian Cupid didn't pan out, so he just scrolled down to the next one. This is exactly why you keep your dating app accounts active. In the event of a catfish or lack of chemistry, you can try someone else. Ximena ended up being a major upgrade. She's more beautiful IMO and she was hot to trot immediately. She would move to America tomorrow, if possible. She's everything Ricky hoped Melissa would be. While it's obvious Ricky is thinking with his penis and just went to Colombia to have sex with a hotter lady than he could get back home, I do respect him putting work in with the wine, flowers and chocolates. He, at least, tries to put on a front of being respectful for the benefit of his daughter back home and doesn't expect sex on the first night. If it wasn't for this show, Ricky wouldn't have to say a word to Ximena about Melissa. I mean, is Melissa even worth mentioning? He waited longer for her at the restaurant than they spent physical time together. Nobody really likes to hear about past relationships and Ricky and Melissa really had nothing other than photo exchanges and one awkward date. Of course Ricky needs to fess up now because Ximena will see it on TV later. I hope it works out for him in one sense, but it would serve him right if it blew up in his face. As with all parents on these shows, he should be at home taking care of his daughter instead of going on a sexcapade in a foreign country. At least Ricky presumably banged Ximena before the big reveal. Nigerian Loverboy/Grangelina-As I said with Azan, some of these green card scammers deserve an honorary green card. I like Michael. As far as green card scammers go, he's one of my favorites. He's already soldiered through getting mauled and attacked by this loud, crazy, masculine American woman. Some of the stuff he's seen can't be unseen, and I think it would be fitting for Michael to receive a green card personally from Donald Trump in recognition of his efforts. I mean, this "animal" didn't only put in the work sexually. He has attempted to introduce Angela to a culture she's too independent to embrace. Seriously, I see nothing wrong with Michael trying to get her to dress in traditional Nigerian garb. It would be a gift to everyone if she was covered all the way up. I also don't have an issue with Michael calling her fat. Angela herself called her big right before he said it, and Michael would know she's fat better than anyone since he supposedly had relations with her. The smoking thing would bother me too. So, yeah, I'm team Michael all the way. There's gotta be an easier pathway to citizenship than Angela. Karine/Screech-I don't really see the issue with Paul expecting Karine to help with the chores, BUT since it's Paul I don't mind him getting piled on for simply raising his voice and looking away when he gets frustrated. Getting stressed out over chores is weird to me. I mean, what else does he have going on in his life that he can't be doing chores? Maybe if he was working and had to do all the chores too, then I'd understand the stress a little more. All they have to do currently is lie in bed all day, talk to each other via translator app, and wait for the wedding that shouldn't be happening. I was kind of sad watching Karine's parents. They clearly want better for their daughter than Paul. I agree that Karine's boobs are huge and hope the speculation that she's pregnant is true just to see Paul's reaction. Paul seriously should just go home to his mother and vow a life of celibacy. Some people shouldn't be in relationships and that's okay. Tarik/Hazel-Tarik's brother has the right message, just poor presentation and delivery. Yelling at Hazel in public must've been devastating to her. I doubt that's acceptable behavior in Filipino culture. It's a collectivist society. It really isn't acceptable anywhere as far as I know. Here's a woman who's already allegedly gave up her child because she's in such dire poverty. Tarik, much to Hazel's chagrin, is her ticket out. Tarik seems to be under the delusion that Hazel wants to be with him. No, she would be with any American who would take her and remove her from her situation. As long as Hazel can harvest money for her family, she's all in. Tarik only wants arm candy and a sexual partner. These two clearly aren't compatible, but they could definitely work out an agreement and have a life together. I hope for the sake of Tarik's daughter they don't end up marrying and living together. I don't think Hazel has the parenting skills necessary to care for an autistic child. Tarik seems like a great dad, but he needs to be at home with his daughter instead of wasting time and money to be with his Filipino cutie. Jon/Rebecca-IMO there's something off about Jon. He doesn't seem all there and slightly unhinged. If I were Rachel, I would take adorable Lucy, who has to be the cutest baby I've ever seen, and go directly across the pond, get far away from this psycho, and never come back. It's not like he can follow her. On camera, he seems like a really nice guy, but apparently, in real life, he's prone to snapping and fighting. If he's gotten into 50 donnybrooks over the years, he's, at minimum, putting himself in situations where he has to defend himself. He obviously has the capacity for violence and that's a major red flag. There's just too much of a risk for shaken baby syndrome or domestic violence to entertain the idea of a marriage. They can always do karaoke from afar. They don't need to have a life together in the UK, but both Rachel's kids need their mom to be a good parent. Honestly, I think Jon wants a way out of this anyway. I think he was initially excited about the idea of being a father figure and became overwhelmed once it was reality. I think he's over it already, but he can't man up enough to tell Rachel he's lost interest.

Nicole/My World-Jeez! Imagine if Nicole would devote her time, energy, and focus to something worthwhile like school, a trade, being a good parent to May, and/or dieting. She'd certainly be in a much better position than she currently is in getting scammed by Boy Wonder. She's already invested so much into this relationship financially and emotionally and has nothing to show for it. A more sensible person would take this visa refusal/denial as a sign and count their losses, but we're talking about Nicole here. Everyone in her life is a voice of reason, but she's hellbent on doing whatever she wants under the illusion of false love. So we're on to the K-3 visa and more money wasted that should be spent on May. Azan is undoubtedly running a scam and is just using Nicole to subsidize his life. He just wants exactly what he has right now-a sugar mama from afar. He has no interest in moving to America or marrying Nicole and definitely doesn't want to support Nicole and May for one year in Morocco. I believe Azan didn't even attend the visa interview and had his best English-speaking Nigerian prince friend write the refusal email because a refusal email from a government agency is shady. I believe a formal letter would've been sent instead. Of course Azan agreed to the K-3 visa to appease Nicole in order to keep his gravy train rolling for as long as possible. He knows he can't take care of Nicole and May without a job and he has no intentions of getting one, so he's just trying to squeeze every dollar out of Baby Huey before the scam is up. As much as the K-3 is a horrible idea, I think it would actually be beneficial for May to spend some time in Morocco. To be sure, she's in for a rough life whether she lives in the US or Morocco, but at least in Morocco she'd be subjected to some culture, recreation, and vegetables that don't include french fries. I'd like to think Nicole would at least wait for Azan to get a job before going to Morocco, but she's got her blinders on and is tired of waiting. It's pretty shitty of Nicole to take May away from Robbalee again, but Robbalee raised the selfish twit. DavidStillPoor/Annie GoldPawn-Can you imagine the white knuckling involved going to a restaurant with Tobo paying? You just have to pray he has enough room on the credit card. I always laugh at people who claim they have no money going out to eat and eating quite well. I understand Annie thinking American food is kind of blah. In my limited experience Thai food is very flavorful and judging by David and Annie's portliness, he's only introduced her to the high caloric, fatty and salty fried and processed crap that is devoid of any real flavor profiles. Annie is a gourmand. She worked at a BJ bar, but she won't eat salmon out of a can. I can't imagine why David is still unemployed with exemplary interview skills like that. What employer wouldn't want a guy who shunned all responsibility to escape reality in Asia for 4 years. Any gap on a resume isn't good for someone who's 49 years old. It's certainly not easy for older employees to find work, so I can sympathize. Even low-wage fast food jobs are getting selective in hiring today. Yeah, there's Uber, but many Uber drivers that don't understand the hustle end up losing money. That's why I was so adamant about David taking the restaurant job that Chris offered him at the reunion no matter what it was because there's no guarantee of employment. I believe that David probably has been talking to people about various ponzi schemes, but discussing anything that involves actual work is a major buzzkill for the Bahtman. How is he going to pay the $1000 rent? I gotta believe the TLC money was spent at Applebees. He must have hidden assets somewhere. Poor Jacob. It's bad enough to have a sad sack for a dad who abandoned you and then he gets shot in the face. David is probably secretly thrilled that Jacob is going to Texas so he doesn't have to take care of him and can have sex anytime with Annie again. Of course he doesn't get Jacob's $200, so that's $200 extra he'll have to scrounge up. Annie is probably devastated Jacob is leaving and I weep for her Buddha. Her prayer for Jacob was sweet even if it seemed in a little awkward in that situation. She made an effort to care and that's rare on this show. Molly and Luis-It boggles my mind how Molly can be business savvy and seem smart at times, yet so stupid when it comes to Luis. Why would she ever think leaving Kensley with Luis for any considerable length of time would be a good idea? Luis is right. Kensley should've been staying with her father. Or Brother Molly. Or Mother Molly. Or Olivia. Or Father Molly. Anybody but Luis. I can't believe her astute business partner/designated driver didn't bring up the fact that leaving Kensley with Luis is a terrible idea. Parenting or even just babysitting isn't something you can thrust on someone. They have to, at least, agree to want to take care of the kid. It's not like taking care of Kensley involved popping in a pizza and putting on a movie. There were vitamins involved, for Pete's sake. Molly repeatedly says that her kids are the most important things in her life, but Luis could care less about them. That should be the ultimate red flag that this isn't going to work. Why is Molly still holding on to this marriage? It could've been such a better relationship if they would've just kept it as a casual vacation fling. Paola and Russ-I know miscarriages are devastating. However, if she had that baby, her modeling "career" would likely be over and that child would tie her down to Russ for a long time. These two not procreating is a blessing since it doesn't seem like they'll be together for much longer. Her family should know from the depression hair that Russ isn't going to stand in the way of Paola communicating with her family. The depression of living in Oklahoma and miscarriage were scapegoats for Paola ignoring her family. She was ignoring them because she's selfish and was only concerned about doing her in Miami. That's actually okay, but own up to it. They really needed her during those 4 years and she failed them. Acknowledge that failure, learn from it, and move on. Anfisa/Moobs-How the tables have turned here. Anfisa is the one with the apartment now and now she has to inhabit it with that sad sack of Man Boobs known as Jorge. Forget being an alpha male. Jorge has to swallow his pride and is just relieved he doesn't have to couch surf anymore. Obviously she took Jorge back to continue doing the show because he's already proven himself to be a liar and she will never trust him. I think she wants to bust his balls and torture him some more. She strikes me as a dominatrix. It was good to see Jorge on the dance floor actually getting some exercise. I'm sure Moobs hasn't moved like that in a while. I'm thinking counseling will make things worse for them if Jorge tells the whole truth. He's already treading on thin ice and it won't take much to make Anfisa go batshit crazy on him. I respect Anfisa for her honesty and for making a life for herself after Jorge. I find it hard to believe she hasn't found other sugar daddies to take care of her. Jorge has to cling on to this relationship as long as possible. It's not like women in LA are in the market for a portly permastoner dullard with no money and an impressive set of man boobs. Pedro/Chantel-Chantel's family is just weird. All the other side characters on this show are smart and helpful aside from Chantel/Pedro's families. I get Chantel's family is close, but why must they be in Pedro and Chantel's business? Let Sea-Air make her own mistakes. I used to be huge River and Winter fans, but they can kick rocks with their judgmental parents. I can't believe they'd waste money on a P.I. to investigate what everyone already knows. Pedro's mom and sister are American money grabbers. "Harvesting" is commonplace and I don't see the big deal. It's not the first time we've seen a foreigner send money home and it won't be the last. It's clear that Chantel isn't okay with it and she's let that be known to Pedro. If she can't past it and that's a dealbreaker for her, then she can opt for a divorce. Her parents and siblings interjecting is unnecessary and does no good. Now if Chantel's parents have to bail Pedro and Chantel out of financial difficulties because Pedro is sending money home, then that's a different issue completely. Otherwise, they should butt out of the marriage. Pedro sucks too. I get that he doesn't want to spend time with Family Chantel, but he should at least be grateful for them footing bill for the vacation and for the good wine he got drunk on. I also thought Pedro demanding that he get the basement to himself was lame and inappropriate if he's not paying. You can dislike somebody and still be civil instead of a petulant child. Be fake for your wife's sake and put a douchy smirk on your face like Thomas.

It's glorious having this craptacular, cotton candy trainwreck show back for another reincarnation. I might hate most of the characters, but I can't stop watching. Every time I say "I'm never watching this again," something pulls me back even though the storylines are recycled and contrived by production. I love to hate this show, but, most of all, I love reading the snarky comments on here. Where else are you going to learn about "depression hair?" DavidStillPoor and AnnieGoldPawn-This has been said ad nauseam on this forum, but it bears repeating. David is still one sad sack of a man. David and Annie might be broke, but they seem to be eating good in the neighborhood. Maybe they're raiding McDs dollar menus on the regular or David has some food stamp scam going, but they're certainly not missing meals and/or alcoholic beverages. Chris offered David a restaurant job prior to the tell-all last season. Why didn't Tobo take that job? He had no problems accepting handouts from Chris. However, the moment Chris expected him to actually work for his money, David folded up like a cheap suit. While the lease mailed to David is mostly Nikki's doing (bravo, Nikki), I'm sure Chris became frustrated with David not doing anything while living in his firehouse for free and was trying to force his friend to earn his keep with that lease. We all know Tobo won't work otherwise. A job is such a buzzkill for him when all he wants to do is party and have sex with his new bride. He's probably waiting to be headhunted and considers working at McDs or driving for Uber to be beneath him, but it doesn't get much lower that pawning Annie's gold. That's just one step above collecting cans on the highway. $1000 to live in a Louisville firehouse is way too much, and they could find a place for a fraction of the rent there. That's exactly the point though. David needs to find a life for himself and Annie independent of Chris's beyond generous gifts. Maybe this lease was designed to get him out of the firehouse, so Chris can open up a Firehouse Subs or something. Chris has done enough, and it takes an incredible amount of gall for David to be floored by receiving a lease in the mail. I know he's been in Thailand living a fantasy with no responsibilities for 4 years, but in the real world, people pay rent. I'm sure David will be a vindictive jerk about it, and, if there's any beans to be spilled about Chris, they will be revealed shortly. By the way, I noticed David has a car. How can he afford that? Last season he was driving the car Chris provided for him with the ads attached, so that probably paid for itself. How's he able to make the car payments and fill his gas tank now? I'm sure he blew any TLC money on lavish vacations or ponzi schemes. I can't imagine the hell Annie is going through right now. Her American Dream is undoubtedly shattered.The things she has seen can't be unseen and getting squished by David every night would be anyone's worst nightmare. Yeah, we can tell her to run, but Annie is going to have a rough life no matter where she goes. I still say her best decision is to stay in the US since Chris is on the hook for her for 10 years. Hopefully, during that time, she can acquire some skills or find some better opportunity or man to make a decent life for herself and get away from David the first chance gets. Luis and Molly-I don't hate Molly as a person. I hate what she's doing to her kids. She's so stupid for letting this man-child stranger in her home not once, but twice with camera crew in tow. He should've been kicked to the curb immediately after that weird religious symbolism rant. Luis is clearly using Molly for the green card and just playing the game (i.e. insincere apology) and putting the time in so an annulment can't be a possibility. This isn't Danielle. Molly has money and could actually challenge the validity of a marriage and could get Luis deported. You can tell Luis is seething on the inside and just waiting for his opportunity to bolt. He has no interest in being a step-dad to Olivia or Kensley and should've never been put in this position to begin with. Molly thrusted it upon him before determining it would be a good fit first. Both Kensley and Olivia have been put in the role of being consolers and that just sucks for kids to have to do that. I can only imagine the crap Olivia has had to see with her mom's failed relationships with men. Screw both Luis and Molly for giving Kensley a hard time about having nothing to say. The poor kid is shellshocked. At least Olivia gets to go away to college. Kensley's stuck there with mamma drama for at least another decade. This isn't going to end well and that's apparent to everyone but Molly. Russ and Paola-Bless all of you for the "depressed hair" comments. This guy has clearly given up and should just put on the proverbial sweatpants already. That Paola is a real ballbuster, and Russ has clearly been emasculated by this relationship. He followed his wife with his tail between his legs to Miami so she could pursue a career he doesn't approve of, took a big pay cut, and got absolutely butchered at Supercuts. He seems resentful about what his life has become and has compromised his values to make this relationship work. Paola seems to be having the time of her life other than Russ getting in the way and being such a prude. It seems like she'd prefer to be single. It's nice of Russ to accompany Paola to see her abuela, but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of her friend who hates Russ. ManBoobs/Anfisa-I'm team Anfisa all the way. Jorge is a pathological liar. He told her he was a millionaire and promised her a bill of goods to lure her to America. Once she came to collect on those promises in exchange for a sexual relationship, Jorge couldn't write those checks and went into massive debt. Anfisa has been honest about her intentions all along. She wanted a sugar daddy and Jorge couldn't afford her. I don't blame her for doing the webcam thing. How else is she going to earn money? Jorge is broke, and he doesn't have the looks, body, or personality to compensate for his lack of funds. He's just got an impressive set of manboobs. Yeah, Anfisa can go after Jorge legally, but what's she going to get? I'm sure with the legalization of pot for recreational use that his weed business has dried up significantly. I don't worry about Anfisa like I would Annie. She'll do what she has to do to survive. Chantel/Pedro-This couple is extremely boring and a little too toothy for my tastes. I do like Chantel's brother, River, though and look forward to his appearances. Shipping a huge TV internationally is about the stupidest thing I can think of. That scene was definitely staged and it took the FedEx employee all her energy to not bust out laughing. I agree that Pedro should be helping with his and Chantel's joint finances primarily rather than sending money home back to the D.R., but Pedro will always put his family before Chantel. This obviously won't fly with Chantel's family and will contribute to an even greater divide. I'm not sure why these two are together other than physical chemistry. I will say that Chantel has the greatest rack on the show. They're spectacular. They're even better than Jorge's. Nicole/Azan-I'm lazy and my place is a disgusting pig sty. I can't comment on Nicole's poor housekeeping, but at least I don't have a kid who also has to live in that squalor. You'd think she'd at least clean up for TV. Nope. I feel bad for May who has to play second fiddle to My World aka "daddy." May seems like more of a possession or bargaining chip to Nicole than the most important person in her life that she should be. Nicole reserves that title for the dude she is with at the moment. I don't always feel right about piling on Nicole because it's clear to me she's not all there. That girl just ain't right. I bet most of her TLC money (and probably a lot of her Starbucks money) went to supporting Azan instead of taking care of her daughter. Obviously, for television purposes only, I'd like to see Azan go to Florida. But, for the sake of May, hopefully he's denied the visa. With all the supposed technological issues, it seems like Azan would blurt out whether he got the visa or not immediately, but I guess TLC needed a cliffhanger.

I thought this was supposed to be a Tell All, but I didn't learn much. It was mostly dysfunctional couples who have no right to judge opining about or reacting to other dysfunctional couples. Here's a few final thoughts on the tell all and couples I need to get off my chest before I retire from this trainwreck season. Nicole/Azan: I think Shaun Robinson did a decent job of reading the teleprompter and asking the questions that Sharp Productions prepared for her, but a huge miss was obviously addressing Nicole's violence towards Azan. This should have been a major talking point, but it was only given like 20 seconds of screen time at the end. If Azan was the one assaulting Nicole, everyone would've been up in arms. He probably would've been kicked off the show immediately. All Nicole received was embarrassment from looking like a bully on screen. She buried her face in Robbalee's armpit Danielle-style. No wonder Azan didn't want to be a part of the Tell All. I'm sure Nicole will send him any money she received from attending the Tell All to Azan via Western Union. I applaud Robbalee for actually telling viewers that Nicole borrows money to send to Azan. This is the kind of tea a Tell All should reveal. Of course Nicole didn't want anyone to know about it because it makes her look bad. No, Nicole makes herself look bad, and Robbalee should get to spill some delicious tea every now and then for having to put up with this nonsense. I was under the impression Nicole was using her show money to support Azan. I was okay with that since I don't think the foreign cast members get paid. The fact that she's borrowing money from Robbalee and whoever else to send to Azan when all her proceeds should go to taking care of May is just mind-blowing to me. Azan could work, but he chooses not to because Nicole subsidizes his life. And it's not like Nicole is wealthy. She's a barista at Starbucks. Anyway, I'm done with these two. There was way too much time devoted to trying to contact Azan in the Tell All. He doesn't give a shit and neither should we. David Poor/Annie GoldBaht: One new thing I learned was that David Poor has only known Chris since 2009, so that dispels the Ride or Die, old friend from Kentucky theory to explain why Chris is financially supporting the Bahtman. I don't buy the gay theory, DUFF theory, or hidden bodies theory. The CTE theory is possible. People with brain injuries do some bizarre things. However, I think the hidden assets theory that Desert Rat came up with is the most plausible. Either that or David Poor really is poor and has some secrets about Chris that Chris can't have leaked. Chris clearly didn't make all of his money playing football. That money has been long gone. It seems like most of his money comes from running a lot of shady businesses that tow the line between ethical and unethical and/or legal and illegal. Chris might like having David Poor around for either a fall guy or to polish a turd. No one can polish a turd like the Bahtman. We saw how he tried to sell the firehouse to Annie, and Tobo could put a positive spin on living in a cardboard box. Chris might be business savvy, but he doesn't seem very articulate to me. David Poor, the snake oil salesman, however, is a smooth talker and professional liar. Chris might see some value in keeping David Poor around to take the hit when things go awry. I was floored when it was revealed that Chris offered David a job as partner in a restaurant, and David didn't accept it yet because they haven't discussed it yet. What's there to discuss? Bahtman is unemployed and needs to support Annie GoldBaht who moved to America to be taken care of. I'll be interested to see what kind of con David Poor is running. I don't think we'll ever get the truth, but I have a feeling this is just beginning of his story. I'd like to check back with these two in 10 years, especially now that Chris has cut them off. Yeah, right. It was wise of Annie not to take the $10,000 deal. She can get way more out of them if she stays in the US for the next decade. I'm sure the money Chris has spent on the Bahtman has been well over 10 K already. Molly/Luis: Molly. Molly, Molly!!! You stupid woman. Luis will be gone the day his 2-year sentence is up. If you think his lack of God symbols in the home rant was bizarre, imagine what he'll do off camera after 2 years of biting his tongue and faking a marriage. Right now Molly has the upperhand and she's loving it. She's probably telling him to make her a sandwich after coitus now, and Luis is hating not being in control. I think Luis stupidly thought that being married guaranteed him a green card initially and then found out it doesn't work that way. So the Meerkat clawed back to Molly with his tail between his legs. Dumb, desperate Molly, of course, took him back. After all, she is horny and absolutely chooses this slickster over her daughters. It was hilarious when Molly praised Luis for going to the store all by himself and packing a school lunch like a big boy. It sounded like she was praising an infant for going poo poo in the potty. For some reason I liked seeing Luis at first and thought things were going to get good. Then he opened his mouth and I was sorely disappointed. It was rich of both Molly and Nicole to criticize each other's parenting when they're both disasters. David/Evelyn: You wanna talk about sex? Really? David Spain, you wanna talk about an age gap when you were pursuing a minor? Really? David shouldn't have went there. I do agree that he and Evelyn are at the same maturity level. If I didn't know Evelyn was 18, I would think they're closer in age. I'm glad they're having an active sex life and that David gets along with the DUFF. I wish they would've discussed this couple's future plans, but I have a feeling it's Claremont for life. It's still bizarre to me Evelyn's parents were so accepting of her getting married at 18. It almost seems like it was expected. But, then again, everything about Evelyn is vintage and classic. Josh/Aika: Perhaps the biggest reveal of the night was the upper teeth Josh briefly flashed us. It was a very calculated shot on Sharp Productions part. I really don't think there's anything that isn't contrived on this show, so I wouldn't be surprised if they told Josh to flash his upper grill for a few seconds for the inquiring fans. It turns out he doesn't have methmouth. He's probably just self-conscious. Aika is so gone after the 2 years are up. Hopefully it's not too late for her to have a kid by then. I think Josh was just thrilled to be one of the more normal ones in the room. Libby/Andreiiiii-I think these two have the best chance of making it in spite of Libby's sisters and dad. Andrei was clearly a man surrounded by boys in the Tell All. He looked really good sitting next to the likes of Luis, David Spain, Josh, and that sad sack of a man known as David Poor. While I don't always like understand him, he has like a presence about him. I enjoyed watching his reactions to the shenanigans. I love Andreiiiii and that's it.

This makes so much sense. This would explain why he was wearing the suit too. I was wondering who has run the most successful scam so far this season, and I'm thinking it's the Bahtman. Forget Aika, Azan, and Luis. David Poor is a professional fraudster compared to those amateurs. His entire life is one giant lie.

Molly and Luis: I could hear PTV nation collectively scream "YOU STUPID IDIOT" (in various forms) when Molly dropped the bomb that they were already married. Luis played her like a fiddle. I'm sure he was sweet to her in the beginning and then started revealing his true colors after he got what he wanted. No wonder he hightailed it out of there without any comment. He didn't want to accidentally reveal his con. I wonder if he got counsel from his brother who is already in America on how to run this scam. While Luis is clearly an asshole, he was smart by choosing a wealthy woman and a woman who couldn't chase him around the U.S. Danielle style. Molly has to take care of Kensley and run her business, so it's not like she can immerse herself in this Luis saga. Of course Molly might be in a better position to lawyer up and can hopefully get an annulment. Luis should go back to the D.R. permanently since he misses his family and country so much. I really hope Molly has an air-tight prenup so Luis gets nothing. She's already spent way too much money on this clown that could've been going towards her daughters who she claims are number one in her life. Yeah, right. I'm sure Olivia has seen Molly crying about a guy on numerous occasions, and that's such a sucky position for the kids to have to play the role of consoler. Molly seems like a good enough person, but she's got one of the worst pickers I've ever seen. I would've felt sorry for her, but her deceit about being married and her poor decision to move Luis in in the first place gets her no sympathy. I bet Luis went directly to Magic City with his brother to drown his sorrows and cry in front of day-shift strippers again. I'm sure he'll thank God for all of it though, so it's okay. David Poor and Annie GoldBaht: The second most cringeworthy moment for me after finding out Molly and Luis were already married was Chris agreeing to pay for David Poor's wedding. I could hear a collective "NOOOO!!!!" from PTV nation at that one. I can understand Chris wanting to give his friend a hand up, but the sweet firehouse and ad hummer are way beyond generous and sufficient. I can actually stomach those because Annie needs a roof over her head and Oompa Loompa needs a vehicle to get to and from work to support them. He's not going to take the bus or walk to work, that's for sure. Besides Chris probably gets money for the ads that he just reinvests in David. However, nobody needs a lavish wedding, and it's not like Ashley is not going to see right through it. She knows her dad is a fraud and has no money and that Chris will be the one paying for the whole thing. David Poor revealed his true character when Chris brought up the idea of financing the wedding. Instead of taking the high road and saying "thanks for the offer, but you've already done too much", his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He seriously has no shame and seemingly thinks he still deserves a grandiose wedding despite his poor life choices. I think everyone knew the credit card was going to get declined, and I'm sure this snake oil salesman banked on Nikki paying for the dress. Chris will never see any of the money he has spent on David again and everyone knows it. The other thing that infuriated me was David Poor's grandstanding about Annie going back to Thailand. He knows damn well she's not going back, but he sure enjoyed having the upperhand and beating her over the head with it. She wouldn't be able to face her village if she gave up her golden ticket. Of course David even managed to eke out a few tears for dramatic effect. The poor baby has suffered enough for having sex with prostitutes. I don't think Annie cares so much about him having sex with prostitutes. What upset her was that David wasn't upfront about it. I think he just said he wasn't perfect in past relationships and didn't elaborate. He's such a slimeball. Nicole and Azan: What was sorely missing in Morocco was a voice of reason. Sure, Azan raised legitimate issues in their relationship, but they were more focused on Nicole than him. Because Azan's family is in on the green card scam and don't speak the same language as Nicole, they don't directly voice the objections that Nicole needs to hear. Thank goodness for her smart brother, Robbalee, and her stepdad. It was refreshing to hear my innerthoughts being voiced to Nicole. Do I think any of it is being internalized? Absolutely not. Talking to Nicole is like talking to a brick wall. They need to talk to her without the presence of food so that we don't have to watch Nicole lick her fingers repeatedly and because I think Nicole is a simpleton who is more focused on the fries in front of her. She's all about escaping reality as evidenced by having no plan of how to take care of three people on a Starbucks barista salary. Kudos to Brother Nicole for understanding that May shouldn't be calling anyone daddy unless they're actually a daddy. I really hope May doesn't remember any of this. Josh/Aika: I liked Josh's mom. You could tell that she really liked Aika and that she hopes her dumbass son doesn't mess it up like he's done repeatedly in life. His mom realizes Aika is way too good for him. While it's sad that Josh has no contact with his kids, I'm sure there's a very good reason for that. I think of all the dads who get part-time custody of their kids. It's not like the bar is high. If you're not seeing them at all, it's either by choice or because you engaged in illegal activity that would be a danger to your children. I know Josh has a checkered past, so it's probably best that he's not involved in his kid's lives. He has no business procreating and clearly doesn't want to reverse his vasectomy. Aika needs to find another man ASAP. Her clock is ticking. According to that doctor, she's losing eggs by the minute, so time is of the essence. Josh just wanted a real-life Asian porn star for sex and arm candy. The ballbusting reality that Aika is giving him is a major buzzkill for him. She demands action and he will do nothing. Divorce number 3 is inevitable. David/Evelyn: I like that the groomsmen got help for paying for their tuxedos. If Evelyn wants the wedding to be a certain way, it's only fair to do that. I also liked David standing up for his wife when challenged by Ricardo. I enjoyed Ricardo razzing David about Evelyn calling all the shots. He deserved that for being such a bitch baby about Claremont. David is so blinded by the sex that he wants to give Evelyn whatever she wants at the moment. That won't last long. Evelyn's ride and dress were pretty sweet. Libby/Andreiiiiiii-Much ado about nothing here. Jen will be at the wedding, and Andrei is still like awesome. I think Jen secretly likes the type of man Andrei is and wants one for herself. That whole testing Andrei thing was immature and stupid. The real life test is Andrei making a life for himself and Libby without financial support from Daddy America. It's not like it's essential for Andrei to get along with Libby's sisters. It certainly helps, but it's not a situation like Molly and Luis had where children are involved. It seems like Libby's sisters want to create drama when there is none. I like Libby and Andrei together and hope their marriage is a success.

Molly/Luis: Molly gets MVP for me this episode for not smacking the crap out of Luis after his bizarre lack of God symbolism in her home rant. The restraint Molly showed after Luis said she must be on her period was admirable. Luis is one of those Christians who will swear, look at porn, fornicate, weep in the presence of strippers, and, generally, behave like an immoral jackass and justify it as okay because he prays, wears a cross on his neck, or has a bible on his nightstand. He's such a hypocrite. I think that weird conversation was just a diversion because Luis didn't want to discuss whether or not to to cancel the wedding aka green card. He's so immature that he's incapable of having a serious conversation. He still acts like a child. Luis seems to think that he can just have a relationship with Molly and ignore the kids, but it doesn't work that way. Of course a lot of the blame goes to Molly for bringing him over in the first place and for accepting a proposal without seeing how Luis got along with her kids first. If Luis has requested that Kensley live with her father, that's the ultimate red flag and that should be enough for Molly to not want to pursue this. They both seemed to think they continue what they had during her D.R. vacation, but real life doesn't work like that. He's clearly not husband or stepfather material and hopefully Molly sends him home to the DR where he wants to be. I had to laugh when he said he's tried everything with Olivia and Kensley. Based on what we've seen, he's done very little. He doesn't seem to lift a finger around the home other than to take inventory of the home decor. Maybe he should be cooking for Molly since he's not working right now. If he doesn't want to get married to Molly, that's fine, but he can, at least, be a good guest and respectful towards her for paying for his lodging, all those lavish meals, and everything else. It looked like he had a porterhouse and wine at the restaurant. He's been eating good in the neighborhood. The problem is he thinks he's the prize and Molly needs to prove her worth to him even though he brings nothing but sex to the relationship. I laughed when Luis was putting that goop in his hair. Is he bringing back the Jheri curl? No wonder he can't find a proper barber. I really hope Molly doesn't marry this jerk, but I'm afraid they'll go through with it. Molly has repeatedly made bad decisions when it comes to men. Nicole/Azan: Who knows what Azan's endgame is here? I'm pretty sure he's primarily going to the US for a green card so that he can better support his family, but there's got to be an easier pathway to citizenship than Nicole. I think he secretly wants Nicole to repeatedly mess up by cheating on him, abusing him, and not exercising or eating right so that he can justify dumping her after obtaining the green card. If the person you're scamming is a bad person, it makes it a lot easier to run the scam. And let's face it. Nicole's not going to change or do the things Azan wants her to do, so there will be plenty of fodder for dissolution of the relationship. Azan still needs to tread carefully though. He's still on Morocco soil now, so it's all good. She's sending him money and he just has to entertain her when they're filming at the moment. Once he gets on American soil, it's Danielle and Mo all over again. I bet Azan is pretty pleased with Trump's Muslim ban. I don't think he really wants to go through with the scam, but he has a sponsor now and will go through with it to honor his family. One thing that I've noticed is that Azan is totally relaxed when Nicole isn't around him. I never saw him so smiley and happy than when he was on Skype during the reunion last season when he was a world away from Nicole. And it seemed like an elephant was removed from his back after dropping off Nicole and May at the airport. I just wonder how many 90 DFs it will take before we're done watching these two. Libby/Andreiiiiii-I agree with Andrei. The American bachelorette (and bachelor) party is stupid. Let's get a pink limo, drink to excess, have a petty argument about a cell phone, hit each other with penis puppets, dance on tables, and woo hoo the whole night. It's like either TLC or Libby's sisters thought of every bachelorette party cliche and included it in Libby's bachelorette party. Why is this even a tradition? I still don't find Andrei to be controlling or a chauvinist. He just wants to make sure his wife is safe. There's nothing wrong with that. He's probably seen some shady stuff as a bouncer and doesn't want his wife to have endure any kind of sexual harassment. At least Libby's sisters didn't force strippers on her. I was totally expecting them not to respect Andrei's wishes regarding that. I get Libby's point about wanting to talk to Andrei the whole night. If you're really in love, you want that person included in what you're doing and it doesn't ruin your good time to communicate with him or her. I would love to see Andrei have a bachelor party with Libby's brother and dad. Josh/Aika: It is quite clear to me that Josh doesn't want to have a reverse vasectomy or have another kid. He just wants to appease Aika and was relieved to learn that she might have fertility issues. I don't think he'll actually go through with a reverse vasectomy, but he might tell Aika he did it and will then blame her fertility issues when they can't conceive. Josh seriously has no business having kids given that he has been a deadbeat dad to the two kids he already has. Aika really should've picked somebody else who is ready to impregnate her immediately. Yes, a vasectomy doesn't make a man any less of a man, but I thoroughly enjoyed Aika emascualting Josh anyway. I felt bad for the owners of the coffee shop who had to witness that scene firsthand. David and Evelyn: You wanna talk about sex? Really? These two weren't on very much, but Evelyn still seems intent on selling Claremont to David Spain. The family band will be over practicing at all hours with them just eight houses away. Will David ever get out of Claremont? Evelyn has gotten her way so far, so methinks no. After the sex, she'll have him by the balls. David Poor/Annie GoldBaht: I loved seeing David Poor getting water thrown in his face at dinner. Who paid for that dinner by the way? Chris again? Anyway, if anyone has earned the right to pile on David Poor, it's the kids he has abandoned. It's absolute hogwash that he came back to Louisville to be with them. He had no other options after Nikki kicked him out of their sweet L.A. pad. He was in no hurry to get back to Louisville. Why did Tobo think it was such a good idea for Annie and Ashley to talk alone? If Ashley is saying rude things about him in front of him, what did he think she would say behind his back? Annie and Ashley didn't get to know each other at all. I wanted Annie to ask Ashley about her boob tattoo, but it was Ashley's M.O. to bash her dad so that she could persuade Annie not to go through with the marriage. Annie seemed shocked that David had affairs with many women. I was shocked too until I realized he probably had to pay to be with those women. Of course Annie will go through with the marriage and become a step-grandma to Ashley's kid. I suppose she could ask Chris or Nikki for a plane ticket home if she wants out of the situation, but I get the impression she's liking America and will stick with the Bahtman for whatever reason.

David and Evelyn: I don't think David is asexual, gay, or is repulsed by sex. I think he just feels dirty talking about it on camera. I would too, especially when you consider that he started talking to Evelyn (after seeing pics of her in a swimsuit) when she was a minor. I think their entire relationship revolves around sex. It's not like they have anything in common other than being Christians and being sexually attracted to each other, and it seems like they're just getting married so they can have sex. This is such a shame. This build-up for this wedding night sex has been ridiculous. Her lingerie shopping with Daria was quite pointless because David has 27 years of pent-up sexual frustration. Sweatpants should suffice for the wedding night because we're talking a matter of minutes, if not seconds here. They're both in for a huge disappointment (more so Evelyn). Part of David's grouchiness is probably due to sexual frustration, so maybe he'll lighten up after the dirty deed. Let's hope so. I wouldn't be surprised if David is into attempting kinky stuff, especially if he's been a bad Christian and has been looking at internet porn. If neither one has done any research, they're in for an awkward night. I absolutely loved the gem that David gave us when he said, "You wanna talk about sex? Really?" That's been a popular saying around my household since hearing it. David Poor and Annie GoldBaht: I love Nicole for calling David Poor's bluff. There was no reason this snake oil salesman should be in L.A. on vacation when he should be working in Kentucky and supporting his own fiance. I can't believe Nicole didn't know about the 10-year sponsorship Chris agreed to. I know Chris didn't tell her, but I learned about that watching this craptacular show. Thanks TLC! Chris has been beyond generous. I think that firehouse is a sweet setup. It's way better than my apartment and he gets to live there rent-free with an ad hummer provided for him. This is such a huge advantage that most unemployed, homeless people do not have. I definitely could see David trying to rent out the downstairs for income since he seems work averse. Seriously, what is David Poor going to do for income? Does he have any leads? I'm sure Chris will find something for him. I can't believe Annie doesn't like the fire station apartment. She is really delusional about how real Americans live and it didn't help matters for the Bahtman to take her to Chris and Nicole's house with the hot tub first. It was funny watching David Poor try to polish the turd that was the firehouse to Annie who is clearly disgusted with him. David Poor was upfront about his situation, but Annie was naive to believe that he will be able to earn enough money to support her. David Poor has pyramid scheme written all over him, but that will end up in an epic failure. He'll probably end up in the slammer. Annie GoldBaht is going to either have to find another man or the nearest Thai restaurant to support herself after the 10 years are up. She might be in for a rougher life here in the States than she had in Thailand, if she stays with David Poor. Libby and Andreiiiiiiii-Andrei is like a breath of fresh air. It seems like all the other green card chasers on this show just want a free ride and this guy actually wants to work. Pushing up the wedding date so he can work sooner is the most logical thing I've ever seen on this show. I hate Libby's family so much, especially her dad. He clearly had some preconceived notions that Andrei would be expecting to be financially supported by him, and I think it chides him that Andrei doesn't want any involvement from him at all. Andrei is his own man. He doesn't need to ask Libby's dad's permission for her hand in marriage or for his opinion on anything. Andrei sure did pick up golf quickly. I'm sure that upset Libby's father too. He seems to want to one up Andrei every chance he gets and thinks he's superior just because he's an American, but he met his match with this Moldovan. I only hope Libby doesn't beg her dad for money to finance her dream snow white wedding. I can see daddy dick getting all self-righteous if that happened. I love watching Andrei run by the way. Josh and Aika: I disagree with Aika. Josh getting "fixed" was the best decision he ever made. He just should've done it sooner before he could become a deadbeat dad to his kids. Josh loved the idea of Aika from afar when it was still a fantasy, but he's not liking reality too much. He's already on the hook for a $15 K vasectomy reversal and a $13 K ring and possibly a Porsche, lavish wedding, and a home of their own. He completely misrepresented himself online and sold her a bill of goods he can't possibly deliver on. I will be interested to see how Aika plays this. I don't see her going back to the Philippines, but I can't imagine her staying with this loser either. Nicole and Azan: I can't believe Azan is still pursuing a green card with Nicole. He already has a pretty good idea of what his life will be like in America, and it's an extremely bleak picture. The family pressure to get a green card must be enormous. Maybe Azan is lazy himself. Why wouldn't he try to find a better green card opportunity than Nicole? Maybe he feels like he invested too much into Nicole not to try to make it a successful relationship, but he clearly doesn't like her and is in for a rough life in the U.S. Even if he gets away, Nicole will try to harass, stalk, and abuse him. His best move is to break up with her now while he's still in Morocco. He needs to entertain easier pathways to U.S. citizenship. Nicole needs to return to the U.S. and take care of her daughter and never procreate again. Molly and Luis: We all saw him at the strip club. Luis is clearly not ready to give up the single life and has no interest in being a stepdad. Molly has a really bad picker and made a terrible choice for her future husband. Luis should go back to the D.R. if he isn't going to live up to his end of the business arrangement. Molly wanted a babysitter during the day and a sex partner at night in exchange for a green card, housing, and free meals. She's doing her part, but Luis has no interest in taking care of her kids. In fact, he's like her third kid. Kensley acts more mature than he does. I bet Molly regrets not seeing if Luis could get along with the kids first before agreeing to marry this clown.

David/Evelyn-I get that David is a straight shooter and much of what he says is absolutely correct, but he needs to learn how to read a room and how to be a good guest. Any seasoned traveler, as elitist David claims to be, is able to find the merits of any place and it would be much better for him to focus on those, especially when the Evelyn Claremont Clan is taking care of his lodging and probably covering all his meals. Taking a dump on Claremont in front of Evelyn and her family when it's all they know isn't going to get Evelyn on his side. He can sell Virginia without dissing Claremont. Evelyn would be happy to move with him if he had concrete plans. I know he can't work yet, but getting a good job in Virginia would be an excellent start. If he could hook up Evelyn with a good breakfast place, a music producer, an apple orchard, and an apartment with vintage decor, that would be all the better to help Evelyn make the transition smoother. I'm all in favor of breaking up the Evelyn Family Band, but it's going to take more than a couple of buddies and warmer weather in Virginia to get Evelyn comfortable enough to make the move. She's probably terrified of leaving Claremont. It's David's job as a future husband to help validate and ease those fears. Maybe they could take a trip there and he can show her how awesome it is. Evelyn is still so young and sheltered that every experience she has is going to be mind-blowing. I still don't get this couple. They don't seem to like each other or have anything in common other than being virgins. It boggles my mind the lengths people will go to for virgin sex that will be less satisfying than those apples. I'm weird because I love watching people eat, and that Evelyn sure has some chompers on her. Molly/Luis-Is there anything sadder than Daddy Day Care (Luis) and Cowboy Suave (Brother Molly) at Magic City on Luis's day off? I'm a straight guy and I don't get the appeal of throwing a bunch of ones at strippers. It seems degrading. pathetic, and like a Neanderthal move more than anything. Luis is basically Molly's third child. I laughed when he told Molly to wake him up in the morning as he hung up on her. That's something parents do for their young kids so they get to school on time. Luis has no interest in being a stepdad. He wants none of the responsibilities and only the perks of being with Molly, i.e. green card, sex every night, roof over his head, free meals, possibly money to send to the D.R. If you view marriage as a death sentence, then you're not ready to get married. Luis is still in single mode and doesn't want live up to his end of the business transaction. Pretty much all he has to do is watch Kensley and marry and sleep with Molly in exchange for a green card and financial support. It's not the easiest pathway to citizenship, but we've seen much worse on this show. It ticks me off that Luis complains about boredom and then takes a hands-off approach when it comes to the wedding. Maybe he could try to do most of the wedding planning and take some stress off of Molly since he's not working and has zero interest in taking care of Kensley. Obviously he would do a crap job of wedding planning and Molly would end up taking over anyway, but why can't Luis put in some effort into their relationship? He seemed to naively think that their marriage would be a continuation of Molly's Dominican vacation and it's a major buzzkill for him to face reality. I don't get why Molly would have to resort to Luis. Yes, she's kind of annoying, but she's also quite a catch. She has a nice home and her own business. She's not the most attractive, but she's not butt ugly either. Surely she can do better than Luis. She just has a really bad picker. Luis screams red flag to most people, but she has her blinders on because she wants an epic wedding so badly. Nicole/Azan-The thing I love about this show is how the script gets flipped and you actually feel sorry for the green card scammer. If an honorary green card were a thing, Azan would be the first recipient and he has paid dearly for that privilege. I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy the stuff this man has had to soldier through and endure with Nicole. I feel so bad for Azan and see how conflicted he is. He's right that there's nothing to say as this relationship has run its course. They are at an impasse and neither one of them is budging. Nicole just needs to go home and get May out of that toxic environment and back to grandma. While Azan wants the green card for his family and secretly enjoys being financially supported by Nicole, I think he's starting to realize there is an easier pathway to U.S. citizenship and moving to Florida to be with Nicole would ruin his life. Nicole isn't changing. She will always be a conniving, cheating abuser who plays the victim. If Azan talks to her, she will just use it against him. Azan's choice to remain silent is his last semblance of power in his ever-dwindling manhood. If he wants to save face, this relationship needs to be over. Due to the exposure from the show, I'm sure he'll have a plethora of better green card opportunities if he breaks up with Nicole. I feel really bad for Azan's family for being caught in the middle of this production. Even if they're in on the green card scam, they still seem like sweet people. David Poor/Annie GoldBaht-It has been well established that David Poor is a sad sack of a man who should not be drinking alcohol at all. Of course he wasn't going to turn down free alcohol, and Antonio Burning Tacos wasn't going to miss a chance to get his 15 minutes of fame and attack David Poor if the Ninja Turtle Penguin served one up. And serve one up he did. He was saying all kinds of bizarre crap. Everything Antonio said voiced my thoughts exactly, but I just wish he would've gone about it in a different way for Annie's sake. She was already uncomfortable with David's behavior and Antonio shouting it out from across the hot tub made her even more uncomfortable. I mean, she's new to America and experiencing culture shock as it already and then she has to put with this nonsense. Leave it to David Poor to ruin a good thing. Living with Chris and Nicole is the best he's going to be able to offer Annie and he's blowing his free ride. He was already treading on thin ice with Nicole before moving in and he probably slipped up enough to get extradited to Kentucky. My question is the 90 days thing transferable? Could Annie GoldBaht find someone else to marry to stay in the US? Probably not. We all know that David Poor is going to fail at staying sober and, even if he does, he's going to make a complete jackass out of himself at the wedding and make Annie regret her decision even more than she already does. Watching Annie at the sex toy shop was the highlight of this episode. Oh my Buddha!!! Libby/Andreiiiiiiiiii-I love this couple and hate Libby's sisters. Libby has a real man, so why would she need a last hurrah in Vegas? Unlike Luis, she doesn't view marriage as a death to her single life and doesn't need to stuff ones in g-strings to feel liberated before taking the plunge. Libby actually respects Andrei's wishes. I think being considerate of loved ones feelings is maturing as a person rather than a threat to independence. Libby is still free to be independent within the confines of her marriage to Andrei. She seems to know what's she getting into, and her awful sisters need to stay out of it. It works both ways. It's not like Andrei is going to be going to Magic City for a bachelor's party. If there was such a double standard, the outrage of Libby's sisters would be more acceptable. I think we're supposed to find Andrei controlling and misogynistic, but I find him rational and refreshing. I enjoyed watching him calmly eat chips and drink his beverage while being barraged by the grand inquisition. Josh/Aika-I know Aika won't go back to the Philippines. She's there for the green card. It's a shame she couldn't do better than Josh. He doesn't deserve her. I have no doubt that he promised her a bunch of stuff to lure her to the US that he can't deliver now that she's there to collect. I'm sure he promised her a home of their own, a new ring, and a family. It's such a buzzkill to Josh for her to demand these things when he just wants arm candy. I think Josh is a "bros before hoes" kind of guy, so he likes to hear his friend diss Aika. It makes him feel better about himself even though he's a major loser.

Josh/Aika: Josh is an idiot. He definitely promised Aika a bill of goods when they were talking from a distance, but he's unable to deliver now that's she there to collect on the promises he made. I have no doubt that he agreed to starting a family immediately and that he promised her a new ring as part of his sales pitch to get her to come over. Of course he waits until after his cheerleader gets on American soil to bring up his inability to conceive and not having the finances to purchase the ring of her choosing. Also, why did he come clean about the ring in the first place? Did Aika really need to know that he gave that ring to an ex first? I know it would've been dishonest not to tell her, but now this genius is on the hook for a ring he can't afford. It's not like Aika is going to let it go. This just makes him stupid in my book. Josh just wanted to get his hottie over here by any means necessary. He put no thought into how he'd support her once she arrived. His fantasy became a reality, and it's a major buzzkill for him now that Aika expects action. I would go home and find a better green card opportunity if I were Aika. This guy is a H-7 loser who might be a current or former drug addict based on appearance. I also think he's trying to pimp her out as a model as a way of making money since he seems to be financially challenged. Hopefully it's not to support his drug habit. Run Aika Run!!! Evelyn/David: You know, I'm thinking about going on vacation. Yeah, Hawaii, Australia, Bonaire, Italy, and Japan are great, but don't fall asleep on Claremont, New Hampshire. They have world-class music producers, vintage decor, and the greatest breakfast spot in the entire world. Most importantly they have Evelyn, the most tone deaf singer I've ever heard in my life. How David can listen to that and pretend to like it nominates him for sainthood. Evelyn, like a typical 18 year old, is just not steeped in reality. She wants this lavish wedding they can't afford and she wants an expensive apartment that's way too big for their needs. I understand she wants to stay in Claremont where she can continue to be a big fish in a small pond. I have no doubt that whenever Claremont needs a musical act for an event, they just call up the Evelyn Family Band. I just wish she'd compromise more with David. Maybe if she'd lighten up about small things like tuxedos for groomsmen or providing accommodations for guests, then David would be more willing to stay in Claremont. However, because she's such a control freak, it makes David want to fight her about everything. I must say that I don't understand David wanting to move to Virginia just because it's warmer. Hopefully there's more to it than just climate like job opportunities. Don't get me wrong. I'm all in favor of him breaking up the band, but where is the money for a move to Virginia going to come from? David doesn't seem to have anything, and Evelyn will be maxed out after their wedding of the century. It still boggles my mind the length people will go to for bad sex. Annie GoldBaht/David Poor: I don't think I've ever felt so bad for a contestant on this game show as I do for Annie. She just wants to take care of her family and she has had to resort to this water buffalo. The crap she's had to put up with already is unfathomable and she just got to America. The girl welcoming to America was cute, but everything else just made me feel uneasy. I hated the game of 20 questions from David Poor's "friends" poor Annie was bombarded with after that long ass flight. I'm sure she was tired and jetlagged and probably didn't want to be near people or David Poor, let alone answer questions from judgmental people. Of course David Poor is such a sack of shit that he let her feel uncomfortable as his "friends" rightly exposed how ridiculous this relationship is. I don't think David Poor has any shame, but how unnerving it must feel for Annie to be living in another man's home, especially when it's known that the wife doesn't want you there. Yeah, it's a nice place, but Chris is so skeevy that I wouldn't want to stay there even for a night. I'm sure she got smothered in that bed by David Poor and experienced the roughest first night in America ever. David Poor really should've told his kids he was engaged and given them time to get used to the idea, so they can be prepared when he shows up on one of their doorsteps with Annie and his luggage. David Poor said he wanted to tell them about the engagement face to face, but this is a bunch of bullshit. He just didn't want any opposition or guilt from his kids who would've called their father out for making yet another bad life decision. He wanted to do it first so they couldn't talk him out of it. Annie is in for one heckuva disappointment and culture shock when they go to Kentucky. There will be no Thai Town there. Just an alcoholic David Poor unable to deliver on any of his promises. Libby/ANDREIIIIIIIIIIIIII-I'm absolutely loving Andrei. Compared to Josh, David, David Poor, Azan, and Luis, he's a manly man who wants to take care of his own family. I respect him for not kowtowing to Libby's dad and brother and their smacks of ethnocentrism. Andrei doesn't want or need their support. He's in it for Libby, and that's what it should be about no matter where they live. I think Libby's dad expected the exchange with Andrei to go much differently than it did. I bet he thought he'd walk away with the upperhand, but he met his match with Andrei. I think it actually upset Libby's dad that he was dead wrong about Andrei. Libby's dad already bought them a bed and has provided Libby with a part-time job. There doesn't need to be any more involvement from him. Andrei intends to pay his own way with his paltry savings and hopefully Libby doesn't have to go back crawling to her dad to finance a wedding that is way behind their means. If that happens, Libby's dad needs to rightly point the finger at Libby instead of Andrei. Nicole/Azan: I'm all in favor of Azan trying to help Nicole get into shape. This tells me that he wants to live a long life with her and contradicts the idea that he's just in it for the green card. However, he had to know what he was getting into when they initially met. It shouldn't have been such a big surprise to find out she was "big a little bit" when they first met unless Nicole completely misrepresented herself online. I have no problem with Azan expecting a woman to be in shape since he's in shape himself. I have more of an issue with someone like "man boobs" Jorge expecting a model when he doesn't take care of himself. It's only fitting that Azan would want someone to care about healthy eating and exercise since he obviously cares about it. Nicole, however, is not that girl. She's never been that girl and won't ever be that girl. And continuously calling her lazy just isn't going to be effective. I realize Nicole said she'd try to eat better and exercise, but she's just saying what Azan wants to hear because she's horny and wants Azan to come to America so she can maul him. If Azan is really invested in Nicole and her health, he's going to have to employ a baby steps approach and not get in her face and yell out about how lazy she is even if it's true. She's not in good enough shape for the workouts he's giving her. Simply walking around Morocco is a step in the right direction at this point. I don't think she's used to walking around outdoors in Florida. They need to slowly work into CrossFit. Maybe Azan is really that delusional and thinks Nicole could be a "10" if she just slimmed down. Maybe he thinks putting in the time and effort and Nicole will eventually be worth it, but Nicole has been untrustworthy and conniving ever since appearing on this show. I give Nicole a pass on sleeping until 3 PM if she's on May's sleep schedule. Azan should relish the free time during Nicole's naps to get things done. Molly/Luis: I like Olivia, but I think that's rich of her to say that Luis's English is bad and then proceed to go on that adorably ignorant "plantins" rant. I still detest Molly for putting her kids through this. Luis clearly isn't ready to be a stepdad and Molly should've waited to see how Luis got along with the kids before accepting a proposal since she claims her kids are her first priority. I see Molly's and Luis's relationship as more of a business arrangement. Molly just wanted a babysitter by day and a sex partner at night, but it was unfair to thrust the role of stepdad on unsuspecting Luis who thought he'd be automatically accepted as a padre. He's still a stranger to the kids and the jury is still out on whether he'll ever be ready to be a stepdad. She's blinded by love and is clinging to the idea that her love for Luis will make it all work out, but Luis's dynamic with her children is a factor that should've been considered prior to accepting an engagement. She'll be in for a huge surprise when she finds out Luis wants to return to the D.R. Molly wouldn't be agreeable to that with Kensley being so young, but maybe it would shut Father Molly up about Luis just doing this for the green card. Obviously Molly and Luis have communication issues since Luis is dropping bombshells to Cowboy Suave during a game of catch. Molly would be floored if she knew Luis's true feelings.

Here are my thoughts on the couples this week: Nicole/Azan: How the hell can Nicole, a Starbucks barista and single mother, send Azan $1600 ($800+$500+$300 were the amounts quoted in Azan's THs)? Is she getting paid from the show and just sending Azan his cut for this scam? Wouldn't this money be better used to take care of May? While I realize it can be hard to communicate when both people have jobs, not to mention the time zone difference, Azan blaming his job loss on Nicole is just lame. Yeah, I know she's extremely needy, but they need to be adults and understand that talking at work isn't doable. Azan is very strict about following most of his cultural rules. Why would he violate his employer's rule against no texting? I assume that's why he got fired. Nicole said she can't text at work. Why would Azan be expected to be available to her while he's at work? It's just weird to me. I think Azan actually wants a sugar momma, and Nicole is more than happy to oblige as long as she thinks she's getting Azan all to herself. It's apparent that with the food humor (i.e. live chickens and sheep's head) that the producers are reaching to try and make this couple watchable. I don't blame Nicole for not wanting to eat the sheep's head. I will put almost anything in my mouth until I see teeth. Molly/Luis: I give Luis a pass on his sex talk with Olivia. He's coming from a sexually permissive place that is cavalier about sex. A 17-year-old girl banging is no big deal in his mind. Did he come off creepy? Absolutely. I just don't think that was the intention though. I bet Luis had sex all the time as a bartender in the D.R. until he met Molly, his "pathway to citizenship" and to him it's like washing hands. He's probably miffed by sex being a taboo subject. The only thing he is guilty of IMO is not doing research on where he was going just like 90% of the people on this craptacular show. However, Molly's brother, Cowboy Suave, should've corrected him and explained that most of America is a Puritan society and that stepdads don't talk to their stepdaughters like that. It's the culturally insensitive equivalent of not eating a pig that was prepared specially for you in a foreign country. I just wish Luis would've said that in front of Father Molly. That would've been T.V. gold. I get that Luis feels rejected as a stepdad, so he's trying to be friends with Olivia. While it's the best he can hope for, it's not going to happen. Olivia is smartly letting Luis dig a hole with Molly and seems to take great joy when he screws up. The problem is Molly is so blinded by lust and the proposal that there's pretty much nothing Luis can do that won't be forgiven. Yes, she'll tell Luis to knock off his behavior, but she's too focused on planning for the upcoming wedding. As Olivia sadly explained, Molly has been wanting a proposal for years. I can only imagine what kind of men Olivia has seen through the years and kudos to her for, at least, trying to pump the brakes on a proposal. Of course that's too sensible for her mom and Luis who were absolutely disgusting at the restaurant. I will say Luis has absolutely earned his green card. Like Azan, he has had to soldier through a lot that no man should have to endure. Annie GoldBaht/David Poor: It has already been said many times, but it bears repeating. David Poor is one sad sack of a man. Run Annie Run. You can do better. It must be a rough life in Thailand if David Poor is your best option to get out. It makes sense though. Any decent American guy has options and wouldn't have to resort to all the trouble David Poor has gone through to get a Thai bride. I'm pretty sure he'd eat dog crap if Annie told him it was part of the culture. I can't believe that Chris, the enabler, is subsidizing and sponsoring this idiot and his fiance. He must be on this show for exposure, but he comes off as skeevy, and I'm not sure why requesting massages by the pool didn't make Annie run. If he's asking for Thai massages on camera, just imagine what he's going to ask for or do when Annie is living in his home. To make matters better, David Poor likes to hit the bottle and might be a pathological liar. I found it interesting that his daughter didn't believe his girlfriend was real. It makes me thing he has made up girlfriends or lied in the past. I have no clue why he couldn't be upfront about the engagement. Maybe he realizes how pathetic he is and didn't want his daughter, a straight shooter, calling him out for being an unemployed homeless alcoholic (if she even knows that). Annie GoldBaht isn't stupid, but she and her family seem to be clouded by distorted visions of what American life is like. She will assuredly be in for major disappointment and will want to go back to Thailand like Noon. Evelyn/David: I know Evelyn has in her mind exactly how her wedding has to be, but she forgot to take into account that there are actual people involved. If David's groomsmen can't afford to wear the suits that she wants them to wear, is it really going to make or break the wedding? Of course not. Her singing, on the other hand, could ruin the wedding. I understand a wedding is a woman's big day, but shouldn't the focus be on love for each other? And does it matter how family and friends are dressed as long as they attend the ceremony? I don't know. It just seems like they're both going through a lot just to consummate the marriage. I wonder if Evelyn has the after-wedding coitus planned out too. Probably. Josh/Aika: Josh's obsession with Aika becoming a model against her wishes is bizarre. I don't think most men want their wives to be models despite what Josh says. Most guys like arm candy, but they wouldn't want their wives posing in lingerie, nude, or in swimsuits for money to be ogled at by other men. Josh seems to think Aika is way hotter than she is. She's a beautiful woman, but she doesn't seem like model material to me. And she just wants to start a family and her biological clock is ticking. I think Josh wants Aika to get a modeling career so she can take care of him while Aika probably wants to be a stay-at-home mom and expects Josh to take care of her and her kid. He lives with roommates right now, so he will need to step up to make that happen. These two need to communicate better since they clearly aren't on the same page. I could say that about all the couples though. I always wonder why most issues involving these couples aren't resolved ore even discussed before they come to the US. Elizabeth/ANDREIIIIIIIII-I'm Team Andrei all the way. I've never understood the Bachelor/Bachelorette party concept. Why should somebody need one night of drunken debauchery as a last hurrah? It makes marriage seem like a death sentence. I don't see Andrei as a controlling bad guy. He's merely a product of his culture. He said he didn't mind if she went out with her family. He just would like to be there if she goes out with friends. I think it's reasonable to not expect your wife/husband not to be out partying until 4 AM, and it's not like Andrei is restricting her from seeing her friends at all. If not having a "girls night out" without him is a dealbreaker for her, then maybe she shouldn't continue with the marriage. Instead she seems dead set on showing off Andrei to her family and convincing them that he's the love of her life. She seems to really love the drama, and I look forward to Andrei arguing with her family.

I'm late to the judgment party. I just wanted to make comments about each couple's future living arrangements/wedding accommodations. David/Evelyn: Wow! What a self-absorbed nitwit Evelyn is! I really hope Evelyn doesn't sing at the wedding. We've heard enough. Regarding the accommodations for David's family and friends coming from Grenada, all she has to do is ask her church family to host them and it's done. I grew up in the church. I remember my mom housing various strangers, i.e. guest pastors, missionaries, wedding guests, etc, over the years. We were an introverted family with a modest house. We didn't pull out the red carpet for them. The guests understood that we weren't going to entertain them and that us opening our home for free was a generous gift. I'm sure there are many families at Evelyn's church who would relish at the opportunity to open their home to David's family/friends and maybe even David can ask them himself, if Evelyn is too proud to do so. Heck, David's welcoming party would've been a prime opportunity to put out feelers. Maybe Evelyn's aunt or her unconfirmed lesbian friend, Mikayla, have some extra space. All they had to do was bring it up in conversation, and I imagine somebody would've offered. I don't think it is that unreasonable of David to request help for accommodations given how much it will cost his family/friends to travel in. They really should try and keep this wedding on the cheap in case it doesn't work out. Evelyn is so young and immature, and I could see David getting tired of her act quickly. Most of the viewers are already over it. I'm just glad that David Yoko is breaking up the band. I can't unhear what I heard. Molly/Luis: I hate parents on any reality show, so I detest Molly so much for dragging her kids through this. Who knows what the collateral damage will be from moving in Luis in so soon? Even Olivia who seems to have a good head on her shoulders will be psychologically impacted by the actions of her selfish mother. I don't find Olivia disrespectful at all. I would be eye rolling the entire time if my mom did this to me. I find her objections more plausible than Molly's dad who doesn't have to deal directly with the repercussions. I don't find Molly's dad to be a racist, but perhaps he's anti-immigration and definitely a judgmental asshat just like I am. I really hate this notion that moms need to put themselves first. No, they don't. It really needs to be about the kids until they're 18. Parenting is a selfless act and "doing you" should rarely be an option unless you are going through health problems. Until then, a forced living situation is really irresponsible parenting IMO. If you wanna get your groove back after your kids are adults under the law, that's on you. But to invite a complete stranger into your home with the idea that this dude you met on vacation is going to be the new husband/padre is ridiculous. Molly just wanted a live-in babysitter during the day and sex partner at night. Good on Kensley for bringing some levity to this situation. Luis needs to earn the right to be called "padre" and is hated until he earns the right to be loved. I just wish he was over at Molly's brother's house sharing a bunk bed with Cowboy Suave instead of living with Molly and creating an inescapable living situation for her kids. Nicole/Azan: There's nothing that can be said about these two that hasn't been said already. It's annoying how Nicole will hand over May to anyone like she's a sack of potatoes, especially in a foreign country. I hope May is still young enough that she doesn't remember any of this. I imagine it takes a village to raise Nicole's kid, and I can't help but wonder if she'd get more support in Morocco than in the US in that regard. Azan's family is awesome. I'm pretty sure Nicole's mom is the primary caretaker of May, but I'm not sure if Azan's situation would be improved if he moved to the US. I think many times foreigners believe that Americans all live in nice homes and have good jobs that would allow foreigners to send money home. Nicole works at Starbucks and lives in what resembles a motel room. I'm not hating on that. I'm a low wage earner who lives in squalor myself. I'm just saying it's a hard life and that Azan might be better off staying where he's at to wait for a much better green card opportunity. I feel like he should already get an honorary green card for what he's put up with so far. He's really had to soldier through some stuff with Nicole that no man should have to endure. I know Nicole's dad is sponsoring the whole thing, but I can see the whole thing exploding as Nicole will be unable to live up to her end of the bargain. I really hope Azan comes to his senses and doesn't make the move to the US to be with Nicole. There are much greener pastures that include vegetables that aren't french fries. Annie/David: Nothing made me more uncomfortable than watching David Poor "kangaroo dance" through the village handing out Thai baht like he was handing out Smarties on Halloween. There's no unseeing that. It was the false pretenses that made me feel uneasy. He was walking around the village like he was Daddy Warbucks when he was doling out another man's money. That's like George's girlfriend taking credit for the Big Salad when George was the one who purchased it on Seinfeld. I was wondering what Chris's angle was helping out his friend. That wonderment came to a screeching halt when he put in his request for a Thai massage. Dude just wants a Thai massage, and his tone seemed more hostile after Annie's refusal. I can't believe Chris's wife just sat there quietly. I really liked her skepticism to that point. Maybe she wants a massage too. I'm not sure why Annie would agree to move to the US when David obviously doesn't have the resources to support her. I highly doubt he will be able to piece anything together in 90 days either. If you have to live in another's man basement, you are not prepared for a Thai bride. I do thoroughly enjoy Annie's family sucking David dry with this dowry though. I mean, they might as well get something out of it. Aika/Josh: I don't really care about these two, but I just want to echo that Josh isn't ready for a foreign bride if he can't support himself without the help of roommates. Most of these women come here for the "American Dream" and want a large home to themselves. If they wanted to live with people, they would've stayed in their village. I just wonder how some of these people are passing the financial requirements. I know Nicole has her father and David Poor has Chris. Hopefully this guy can find them their own place so his cheerleader doesn't skedaddle. Elizabeth/Andrei: Andrei has the right attitude. If this is all about love, it doesn't matter if Elizabeth and Andrei live in the US, Ireland, Moldova, or Timbuktu. Going to the US shouldn't be essential as long as they're together. Of course this has to turned into Elizabeth wanting to put her man on display to prove their love to her family. If Overstay Andrei can't come to the States, it will be a major buzzkill for her.

I completely agree with this assessment. As horrible as Anfisa has been, she has never misrepresented herself unless you count all the plastic surgery she's endured. That's more of a misrepresentation to the world though, not Jorge. He seems to like her look, but I wonder what she really looks like. She has stated that she's been in a relationship with Jorge for the money from the beginning and has said so repeatedly. Jorge can't make the case that she's here solely for a green card when her main focus has been money. Jorge, on the other hand, completely misrepresented himself. I feel like he did probably did lure her to America by agreeing to subsidize her lavish lifestyle and to take care of her, and ended up getting way in over his head. While he's probably wealthy for a single guy and probably thinks he's wealthy because he stupidly carries around large wads of cash and can blow 10 grand at a strip club, he's not the Rodeo Drive sugar daddy who is more settled and can provide the American dream that Anfisa envisions. He still has to work in his risky weed business, which may not be as lucrative now that California has legalized recreation marijuana and competition will be stiffer. Methinks that it was dumb luck fortune for Jorge to be able to turn his hobby into a career. He certainly wasn't up front with Anfisa about his felony. Did she even know what he did for a living prior to coming to America? Do these people talk about anything before going overseas to see each other? It seems like most of their issues could be resolved before meeting each other with discussion. If Anfisa made it clear that she was interested in Jorge only for his money and Jorge had a problem with that, why would see come to the US in the first place? Anyway, in the off chance that Jorge did manage to get an annulment, Anfisa would just manipulate him into pulling it just like Mohamed did with Danielle. I really feel like both got what they deserved here. If Anfisa wanted to marry solely for money, she deserved to get a permastoned dopey Neanderthal with man boobs. And he deserved an irate Russian with an affinity for breaking expensive gadgets for essentially buying someone solely based on looks. I would say Anfisa is getting a raw deal, but she's making his life a living hell, making this relationship a wash. They're now addicted to the drama. This is a match made in hell indeed. I like Alla too. She married Matt for essentially the same reason that Anfisa married Jorge, but she's smart enough not to be so brazen about marrying Matt for financial security. I believe it when she said she loves him since she's an honest person. However, I'm not sold on this couple just because Matt's a three-time divorcee for a reason. He doesn't seem like a bad guy to me. He's just a glib Gomer who could be a completely different person off camera. I hope this works out for Matt's sake because Alla could be really good for him or any man really. I thought Nicole seemed almost normal in the tell all. She looked better than ever and came off better than ever. Granted, the bar was low. She wasn't cross-eyed and drooling like I was expecting and she couldn't bury her face in Azan's armpits since he wasn't there. Speaking of, Azan made the show for me. The fact that he pulled the plug on the camera so he could laugh off the air was priceless. I've never seen him laugh so hard as he did watching Nicole's histrionics in the clips from the show. He was so serious when he was with her in Morrocco. With the safe distance between them, he finally felt the freedom to let out some good belly laughs at the absurdity of this situation. Unlike Alla, I don't believe for a second that Azan loves Nicole and he's just doing this schtick for the green card. He completed the show to save face, but he's probably currently looking for other wealthier suitors to bring him to America ASAP. I don't care about Pedro or Chantel. I want to know what's going on with River. How's the poor, delicate, sensitive flower River doing with all of this? Will he ever be able to forgive Pedro and his sister for their betrayal? Did the host ask about the Hupy and Abraham online prenuptial agreement? If so, I missed it. And if the sex goes stale and Pedro's English improves, will there be any basis for a relationship for Pedro and Chantel? This couple was a snoozefest and a little too toothy for my taste. I was really hoping to see the Prince and fantasize that he would've revealed that he's given up on the ladies and has entered a relationship with his close friend who was ever so delicately wiping ice cream off his face. Narkyia was right to not marry him. It's just a shame she wasted all that time and money going to Vietnam and neglecting her parental duties after getting Catfished and being lied to several times. I think it would've been interesting to have her and Lowo at the reunion. I think the host did fine, but it was clear that she was just a professional doing her job rather than a fan of the show. A fan of the show would've asked more relevant questions rather than kill precious air time with silly questions and games. It seems like they were just killing time. Ideally time would fly in a tell all show.

In the immortal words of Meatloaf, "2 out of 3 ain't bad." Congratulations to the couples and high fives, raises, and contract extensions to the "experts." Here are my final thoughts on the couples and the experts/production for this craptacular season: Nick/Sonia-I've been so frustrated watching this couple all season. I think Sonia is so beautiful and a kind human being. She's one of my faves ever to appear on this show. IMO she deserves better than slick Nick who seemed on this show solely to advertise his business. Sonia has been a saint all season and she has had to overcome so much dealing with his fucking dogs, his inability to communicate, and his drunken rant about not finding her attractive. The latter was hard for me to hear since I'm a guy and find Sonia absolutely stunning. I'd have no trouble telling her she's beautiful everyday. Even so, I'll give Nick a pass on his rant. We've all said things we wish we take back and we, the viewers, don't know the extent of producer manipulation on this show. My point is Nick didn't really change at all. Yeah, he finally dished out a couple of insincere compliments in between drinks (possibly producer coerced or dubbed) and a smooch at the end, but he still never really opened up to Sonia (on camera at least). Of course it's entirely possible he just got a really bad edit. I agree that Nick would probably make an excellent provider and an okay husband, but will he be able to provide the validation that Sonia needs from a partner? I don't think so. I think if they do stay together it will be a cold, soulless marriage and will come with some major compromises on Sonia's part. I believe Sonia chose to stay in the marriage because her clock is ticking. She's in her 30s and she'll settle for Mr. Goodenough at this point. They both want a nice house and a family and maybe Sonia thinks Nick will eventually come around on opening up and showing affection. Nick agreed to stay with Sonia because he doesn't want to put the work in for a new relationship. If he doesn't stay married to Sonia, he's just going to have to start over with someone else and he probably doesn't want to do that since he takes things at such a snail's pace. The reason he signed up for the show was so the matchmakers could hook him up with his ideal match, and I think he came to the realization, with a little help from his friends, that Sonia would be a good person to try to make a marriage work with. Yeah, he's not attracted to her, but she's passable for him. I think Nick's friends were instrumental in Nick and Sonia staying together. Without their intervention, Sonia might've opted for a divorce and Nick wouldn't have come to the realization that Sonia is probably the best he's going to be able to do. Tom/Lily-I enjoyed watching these two all season, but they're such a mismatch on paper. Kudos to them for committing to the process and making it work. Their lifestyles and work attitudes could be what leads to a divorce. Lily lives to work while Tom works to live. Given that Tom is a yacht interior specialist, I doubt that he has to do many projects in a year to make decent money. His clients are wealthy and probably pay him handsomely for his work. Meanwhile, Lily is incredibly career-driven and is trying to build a brand to make as much money as possible for the future. It will eventually grate on her if Tom is constantly taking time off to surf instead of earning money for his future family. If Tom wants this marriage to work, he will have to do all the compromising. He's already had to give up living in his bus, and it seems like he's under the impression they'll be taking the bus out for road trips every weekend. Lily is such a workaholic that they'll be lucky to get two weeks a year. I think Tom agreed to marriage because he's sprung on Lily's ample booty. Once the sex is gone, he's going to feel ignored and will probably retreat to the bus. I just don't get why he did the show to begin with. He clearly has a surfer girl, low maintenance type and Lily is not that person. I think Lily said yes because she can't take another male she cares about leaving her. Her father just disappeared, and I think there could be some residual abandonment issues stemming from that. Anyway, they do have great chemistry and did invest a lot in a short period of time. I'd love for it to work out, but I can see this marriage crashing just as fast as it took off. Heather-If the above couples don't end up working out, this ice queen could be the biggest winner this season. She didn't succumb to the Stockholm Syndrome that the others did and quickly realized this show was bullshit, that she was incompatible with Derek, and that it was pointless to try and make something work with someone who was clearly wrong for her. Derek-He was such a big baby all season. The only MAFS participant I hate more is Ryan "Restraining Order" De Nino from Season 2. Experts/Production-There is no way any matchmaker would pair the above couples together. It's clear to me that the producers picked the couples to maximize drama, and the role of the experts in this is to try to sell the audience and couples on why they were matched together using psychobabble. Because they're "experts," it supposedly adds legitimacy. It is truly disgusting how the experts/production shame the participants when they don't fully commit to the process due to feelings of incompatibility. I thought the ways McShouty shamed Heather and the way Pepper shamed Sonia were particularly despicable. Couples are led to believe that the "experts" know what they're doing, have their best interests at heart, and are expected to trust they were matched for a reason. They buy into the process so much that they might feel obligated to say "yes" to marriage to not appear as failures to the experts as if something is wrong with them for not making the marriage work. I realize that all of this is just the nature of the reality show beast. McShouty, Pepper, and the other expert definitely did their job this season with 2 out of 3 deciding to stay married. This will allow the show to continue even if the couples don't end up staying together and will keep these "experts" employed for Season 5 in Chicago.

Couldn't say it better myself, so I won't even try. Team Sonia all the way. I only wish I could meet somebody like that. I think she's so beautiful and sweet. The experts better not to try and turn this around on her. She was a trooper and made every effort with that inconsiderate, self-absorbed asshat and his damn dogs. Derek and Nicole must be staying on air for contractual purposes. There's no other reason to have them on, and I have no interest in watching them anymore after they failed at the experiment. A major side eye to Dr. Pepper for having them write letters to each other. They didn't even last the duration of summer camp. Tom and Lilly is the success story this show needs so that it can keep going. I enjoy watching them. Lilly is much more attractive to me than she was earlier in the season. She's been a really good wife so far. Tom is cool too. Their siblings are awesome as well. A total lovefest with this couple. The experts will definitely be giving each other "high-fives" for this one. I just wonder where their picker was with the other two couples.