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shron17

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Posts posted by shron17

  1. I think it's ambiguous- whether it looked like Dean was going to insist to Lindsay that he can associate with who he wants and win that cause or whether he was going to lie to Lindsay.

    It was a little ambiguous, probably on purpose since Dean didn't seem to be too honest with either Lindsay or Rory unless he had no choice.  But Dean admitted at the time that Lindsay didn't know they talked until she overheard Rory at Doose's, and I doubt he would have decided to be upfront about it at that point.  Lying and cheating tend to go hand in hand.

    • Love 4
  2. JP delivers his "Then it's *not* going to happen" like a man of conviction, out to stand his 20 feet of height and enforce his All-American boy will with directness.

    Or, it could be interpreted as defiance as in "she's not going to tell me what to do."

     

    If Rory knew that this was a secret relationship, Rory wouldn't have asked if Lindsay knew where Dean was.

    Rory actually asked how was it Dean could be out like this, with her, or with anyone. Where did Lindsay think he was?  To me that sounds more like she knows he didn't tell her where he was but wonders what he did tell her.

     

    I'm very mixed on that.  I don't like the idea of holding Rory responsible to make sure Dean is obeying his wife's directives, or that Rory has some kind of responsibility to Lindsay in this situation.  Ultimately, it's Dean who "opens" the door to cheating on his wife.  Rory may have made herself available, but it's not like he tripped and fell into her vagina.

    True that, and I don't mean to hold Rory responsible for Dean's actions at all.  Who's to say he wouldn't have cheated on Lindsay with the next girl?  But I do hold her responsible for sleeping with someone who was married, and for the things she did to let him know she was open to that, even if subconsciously.  I guess I just think that anyone who expects to ever have a committed married relationship should never do that to someone else, no matter who it is.

    • Love 4
  3. Rory was still under the impression that Dean was committed to Lindsay.

    You think?  To quote the quotes I quoted above, Dean said Lindsay didn't want him to talk to Rory anymore but he didn't want that to happen.  Rory replied that she didn't want it to happen either, and Dean said then it's not happening.  It seems pretty clear to me that Dean's intention at that point is to continue to see and talk with Rory but not tell his wife.

     

    However, IMO, Rory wasn't after sex in Last Week's Fights, This Week's Tights when she called Dean.

    I don't think she was after sex either, only that her actions showed she was open to the possibility of sleeping with a married man.  Especially given that Dean had told her he wasn't going to stop talking to her despite Lindsay's wishes.

    • Love 3
  4. But in and of itself, I don't think there's a universal moral and societal precept against someone calling a married-ex for help in a (minor) emergency. It's just that the married ex needs to go about it honestly.

     

    Rory knew Dean wasn't being honest with Lindsay about their relationship from Tick Tick Boom on:

     

    RORY: She knows we talk, right -- that we're friends?

    DEAN: She does now. She doesn't want me talking to you anymore.

    RORY: Oh. Well, I guess that's understandable.

    DEAN: I don't want that to happen.

    RORY: I don't want that to happen either.

    DEAN: Then it's not gonna happen.

     

    Like I said before, this is where I think Rory opened the door to cheating with Dean.  She knew when she called to ask for a ride that Dean wasn't going to be asking Lindsay's permission.  And I don't believe Rory is so naive to believe continuing her relationship with him behind his wife's back wouldn't eventually lead to sex. 

     

    Rory have somewhat craved validation but she was putting the ball in Dean's court to deny the request, get permission from Lindsay to pick Rory up solo, drive with Lindsay to pick Rory up, drive quickly to get Rory but with no funny business whatsoever, or what Dean did- get Rory without telling Lindsay and stay for a leisurely meal and walk through Yale.

    Rory was the one who invited Dean to eat and walk her through the deserted campus to her room.  If she really just needed a ride she could have had him drop her off at a convenient spot.  Then Dean got mad because Jess was there and Rory made a point to talk to him about it later.  If her purpose at that point wasn't to see where their relationship would go, then why would she do that?  I agree that Rory wasn't the keeper of Dean's marriage, but I do hold her responsible for her own integrity in regards to her behavior.  She knew Dean was married yet made it clear that she was open to taking their secret relationship as far as he wanted.

    • Love 3
  5. I agree, Dean definitely used Rory as well.  Rory opened the door to the cheating when Dean told her Lindsey didn't want him to see her anymore but he wasn't going to let that happen.  If she'd said no, I'm sorry, I'd like to be friends but this feels like it's crossing a line it would have ended there.  Instead Rory ramped it up by calling Dean to pick her up from the bar, and then inviting him to her room.  If Jess hadn't been there that night it could have happened then.  After that Dean was done until Rory made it a point to let him know she was still interested.   I think Rory did think it happened because of the love between them, at least until she asked Dean at the election party if he would have still left Lindsey if she hadn't found the note.  Dean denied it, of course, but I think she knew then.  For Dean it was likely the fantasy of the girl that got away vs. the one he married.

    • Love 3
  6. I don't think Rory looked to Richard as someone who could convince Lorelai, first and foremost. E/R have little power with Lorelai, like NEGATIVE power. I still think Rory was first looking for emotional support and then, a home and financial support since she thought Lorelai kicked her out.

    I don't think Rory expected Richard or Emily to convince Lorelai of anything.  By being allowed to move into the pool house I think Rory was making the point that she had won her "independence" and would make her own decision about when and if she would go back to Yale.

    • Love 3
  7. My inclination is that Rory really did feel an authentic need to cry on Richard's shoulder and yes, have his emotional and financial support since she believed she couldn't go home.

    I can buy that, although I have no doubt Rory also knew exactly what she was doing by going to the grandparents,  If not, she could have gone to Logan for the shoulder and a place to stay.  No, she didn't know tag team arrangements had already been made but she probably guessed FND could easily turn into that and wanted to get the money/power on her side. 

     

    I don't think Rory was OUT to hurt Lorelia like E/R. I think in Rory's head, Lorelai kicked Rory out because Rory didn't conform the collegiate track- Rory felt both hurt and out to find a living situation that would let her take her break and thus, Rory actually relished going nuclear to fix her problem and dish back what she felt Lorelai was dishing to her.

    I agree neither was out to hurt the other.  They both got angry over the talk at Weston's, and I do think Rory acted out of anger (and determination to make her own decisions) and that's why she didn't go back to Lorelai.  I think Lorelai panicked.  She saw Rory letting her future slip away and overreacted and then went to her parents to help fix it.  I was never sure E/R were out to hurt Lorelai in this instance.  They knew she'd be angry but both seemed somewhat regretful.  I think if Lorelai had shown more respect and recognition that Rory was capable of making her own decisions, it wouldn't have caused so much angst.  On the other hand, Rory had recently made some really bad decisions.  I also think Rory's craving her mother vs. feeling her mother gave up on her is often part of the becoming independent process, especially with a mother/daughter as close as they were.

     

    Actually, I think my least favorite Rory incident is abandoning E/R without so much as a goodbye, sending Colin and Finn to get her stuff, and then, boycotting them because Emily and Richard expected Rory to live according to their rules while she was living off them

    At first I wasn't sure, but after giving it a little more thought I agree.  For me, it's because it seemed a bit like Rory wasn't being independent and making her own decisions so much as escaping an uncomfortable living situation without taking full responsibility for the choices she made to get there.

    • Love 1
  8. but I do empathize with how a beloved and adored child assumes that her mother should ALWAYS be there for her and adore her, and it's a huge shock when that's not there anymore.

     

    I would agree if Rory had handled the situation differently.  If she had called to let Lorelai know she was going to the grandparents and offered a chance for a calmer discussion it would be different.  While it's true Lorelai told her living at home with a part-time job in the fall wasn't an option, summer had yet to begin. There was plenty of time to make all of these decisions. I think Rory owed it to her mom to let her know what she had decided instead of manipulating Richard into feeling sorry for her so he would give her whatever she wanted,  It was very much a power play--they like me more than they like you and will be on my side.  Sure, Lorelai could have called her too and probably should have instead of going to the Gilmore's, but Rory actually moved into the pool house knowing full well that it would feel like a betrayal to her mother.

  9. I don't know if I would call that panic, so much as Lorelai chose that moment to switch from "friend" to "mom" with Rory.

     

    I'd say she immediately panicked when she found out a boy was involved, and didn't play the mom card until it was clear being a friend wouldn't get the job done.  The dialogue makes that very clear.

    LORELAI: Listen, can we just start all over, okay? You tell me all about the guy and I promise not to let my head explode, huh? Rory, please talk to me.

     

    Thinking back, Lorelai's fear was probably the main reason she overreacted when Rory decided to drop out Yale.  We know it wasn't Logan's idea to steal the yacht yet I can't blame Lorelai for thinking Rory would have made better decisions if she wasn't dating him.

    • Love 1
  10. I think deep down she knew Rory wasn't perfect, that she was flawed, and had a lot of the same issues/desires other teenagers did. And I think that scared the crap out of her. Lorelai basically threw her life away over a boy, and her biggest fear is Rory losing all the chances that she, herself, lost.

     

    Good insight, and very plain in the pilot when Lorelai thought she had Rory in Chilton, made a deal with the devil to pay for it, and then panicked when it looked like she wanted to throw it all away for a boy.  "Does he have a motorcycle?  Cause if you're going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!"

    • Love 2
  11. It's a reptilian brain stem emotional reaction hammered in by centuries of history and current social mores that teen pregnancy just feels like more of an immediate concern for a daughter than a son. It's an instinct hammered in from culture than girls abstaining from sex as a teen, regardless of whether they used protection which can nearly eliminate the chance of a teen pregnancy, means that they're virtuous.

     

     

    I have no doubt that there may be "legions" of parents who let this instinct guide their parenting.  I just think personal experience trumps any such instinct.  Every single time.  Even though it's been many decades since I've been 16, I still remember how it felt to be me then.  And despite the passage of time that person I was is a big part of who I am today as an adult and as a parent.  You can't conveniently overlook something that was and still is such a big influence on your identity even at the risk of being a nosy, embarrassing mom to your teen-aged son.  If Lorelai had a son instead of a daughter I have no doubt her parenting and communication style would be much different.  But, it seems likely the push to keep her daughter from making her mistakes would translate into making sure her son didn't turn out exactly like his dad.  Because she would want her son to grow into a strong, responsible, respectful person--not a weak-willed charmer who drifts through life with good intentions that he never manages to carry out.  Thus my guess is with a son Lorelai would have made the type of parenting choices over the years so that by the time he was a teen acting like Christopher would be out of character.

     

    It's like how I bet Lorelai intellectually knows that having sex as a senior doesn't make you a BAAAAD kid and abstaining isn't the answer so much as safe sex (which Paris said she had)- but emotionally, Lorelai takes the historical/conservative society position that abstention = good kid.

     

    To me, the I've got the good kid moment was just a very private momentary celebration on Lorelai's part of having raised a daughter who clearly made better choices than she did.  Not any kind of historical/conservative society position on abstention.  And even if it were more than just that, I don't think that one little moment necessarily predicts that she would be more relaxed about a son's sexuality.

     

    Lorelai would have balanced the competing interests of being flexible when a child sincerely explains that it was an accident and disciplining the child when they've done something wrong more in the favor of the former because she's not guarding against the same immediate problem.

     

    Whether she had a son or a daughter, I don't believe Lorelai could ever not be aware that she is guarding against the same immediate problem.  Other parents might not think of that first, but I just don't see how anyone who got pregnant at 15 would ever overlook that possibility.

    • Love 1
  12. Boys and parents of boys can be blissfully clueless and irresponsible about pregnancy in terms of the behavior that leads up to a pregnancy.

     

    Like I already said, since Lorelai was a 15-year-old pregnant girl I don''t believe she could ignore the girl's viewpoint and just see her son as being popular and socially well-adjusted.  She had a front row seat to the behavior that led up to her pregnancy, both hers and Christopher's.  Do you think Lorelai is so dim-witted that she wouldn't be able to make the connection between her own experiences and the potentially dangerous behavior of her son or daughter?  I would have to disagree.

    • Love 1
  13. I'd think even with Lorelai's mostly fantasy life as a teenage, high school drop out single mother with no real money who found a magical job that provided for most of she and her daughter's needs during the early years, she realized her situation was not typical, and would probably be more open to abortion than you'd imagine.

     

    You may be right, and like I said I do think she'd be open to it at least partially because she knows firsthand how difficult it was.  It just seems that it would be almost impossible not personalize it; e.g. if I had done that Rory/what's-his-name would have never been born.  And the Lorelai we knew obviously felt never having Rory would have been her worst possible future.

    • Love 1
  14. I also stand by that Lorelai would be less vigilant about a son's activities like staying out all night or dating a sexy bad girl type or make pointed "If you take of your belt at the party, I'm not sure I want you coming home" jokes.
    Now if her son actually impregnated a girl, I think Lorelai would stand with a large upstanding portion of the population who'd want her son to cooperate with whatever the girl decided, whether it's respecting an abortion or being a real father to the baby.

     

    There's a big hole in between these two statements.  It sounds like you're saying a woman who got pregnant at 15 would be less concerned about the behavior that leads to a teen pregnancy with a son than with a daughter.  I doubt very much Lorelai could ever separate the 15-year-old girl who found herself pregnant from the woman who is now a parent to a son.  Much of the world may indeed police the sexuality of their daughters more than sons, but I have to wonder if any of those parents became a parent for the first time at the age of 16.  I have to think if they had they would be just as concerned about any behavior of their son that could lead to a teen pregnancy and do whatever they could to make him fully aware of the consequences of this behavior.  And though I think Lorelai would encourage her son to support the girl's choice, I imagine knowing the life of a potential grandchild was aborted would be very painful for a woman who chose to joyfully and successfully raise her own baby.

    • Love 1
  15. The Lorelai/Rory relationship was done and there was nothing left to explore at the end of S7.

     

     

    Is a relationship between mom/daughter ever really done?  There are plenty of things to explore in the ever-changing relationship between mom and adult daughter (see Emily/Lorelai).  My understanding was that a revival wouldn't be done unless the four main characters (Lorelai, Rory, Emily and Luke) were in it.  

    • Love 2
  16. Don't bet on it. I'm speaking from personal experience and that's not always the case.

     

     

    Sorry, didn't mean to over-generalize.  I also speak from personal experience but should have phrased it differently.  I would expect that most women who had an unplanned pregnancy would talk to their kids (male or female) a lot more than the average parent about the possibility of this happening to them and wouldn't let a son off the hook any more than a daughter. I also doubt any woman who had been in this position herself would let all of the responsibility fall on the girl involved whether or not it was her daughter .  I agree that Lorelai would definitely hold her son responsible, but think she would support her daughter to do what was best for her but wouldn't necessarily demand anything from the baby's father. 

    • Love 1
  17. There are some parents who really do hold their sons fully and preemptively responsible for their sexualities to the same extent as girls for gender parity- but IMO, they are a minority and it wouldn't include Lorelai who pointedly does not really care about another child's problems if it diverts adoring attention for her kid for a millisecond (Jess post-accident, Lindsay).

     

    I don't think for a minute that if Lorelai had a son and he got a girl pregnant she wouldn't hold him fully responsible.  Despite Straub and Francine's opinion and Christopher's lack of support, Lorelai knew better than anyone that Chris was every bit as responsible for her pregnancy as she was.  And I think any parent who has experienced an unplanned pregnancy is extra vigilant about making sure it doesn't happen to their child, male or female.  Do you really think it's less hurtful to know you have a grandchild who may never be allowed to know you and your son than deal with a daughter's pregnancy? 

    • Love 4
  18. Lorelai wasn't running from an abusive household, or one where she had been told to leave.

     

    This is true.  All Mia knew was Lorelai was unhappy enough living with her parents to take her daughter and strike out on her own.  And she did try to keep her safe by offering her a job and providing shelter.  But Mia didn't keep her from her going back home--Richard and Emily did that with their behavior and inability to compromise.

    • Love 3
  19. Maybe you are right about Jason and how excessively intense his betrayal was, but for me to see Jason as a truly evil manipulator would require me to also view him as a bit of a sociopath and therefore someone Lorelai couldn't easily date. I mean, he was a bit of a fun loving happy-go-lucky type of guy and pretty nice to Lorelai so for him to have been in such a good mood while also doing massive harm to his father out of a desire for revenge doesn't compute for me. And what's more, I think fans objected to Jason because they didn't find him sexy enough and felt he was a stall tactic to prevent Lorelai from getting together with Luke too quickly. If that is what people are really taking issue with, I don't think it's fair to say he deserved to lose his entire life in one fell swoop.

     

    Jason was the one who started the whole thing, so yes I absolutely think he got what he deserved.  The unbelievable part is that he thought Floyd would let him take his clients without retaliation, even if it was technically legal.

     

    JASON: Because I want to do something on my own. I want to work someplace that hasn't known me since I was six. I'd like to get through an entire day without being called Digger. And I really, really want to piss off my dad.

    RICHARD: You what?

    JASON: Can you imagine his face? No, really, take a moment. Picture it. I walk into his office, he's sitting in his enormous red-leather chair, and I say, "Dad, I am leaving. I am taking all of my high-paying clients with me, and I am getting into business with Richard Gilmore, the man you forced out to make room for me." Can you see that face?

     

    Of course Jason was nice to Lorelai and to Richard--he was wooing them both (woo=working over others).  This is why I don't blame Richard for doing what he did. Why should he end up as collateral damage because of Jason's revenge plan? When Floyd was getting ready to leave he made some comment to Richard about not getting to tell a story and maybe next time, obviously his signal to Richard that there was more to his plan.

     

    I am watching Jess' first episode now and for the first time I am completely on his side during Lorelai's condescending monologue about why Jess should be grateful for the situation he's in.

     

    I've always felt that way too.  Trust Lorelai to make it all about her--"and I did it in heels!"  And yes, Jess was crude in return, but IMO that's not a very shocking response when you give a condescending, self-serving speech to a teen-aged boy.  

     

    (And I don't blame Luke for what he said to her, either.  She was just as condescending to Luke as she was to Jess.)

     

    I agree with this too.  And Lorelai had been condescending to Luke since she found out Jess was coming--he probably just got tired of it.  What Luke said was closer to a blunt truth than a parenting insult, in my opinion.  I do find it amusing that Lorelai got over it so quickly despite how horrible some viewers think it was.

     

    I too think Lindsay's mother was entirely entitled to tell Rory and Lorelai off. Can one imagine what might have been said if the shoe was on the other foot! Yikes!

     

    I didn't mind that Lindsay's mom said something, but don't think she had to make it sound like the whole thing was Rory's evil plan.  If the shoe was on the other foot, I'd like to think Lorelai would lay more of the blame on the cheater than the woman he cheated with.

  20. I agree with all of the above, but what I hated most about Jason was the way he treated his dog.  Most people have dogs for love and companionship, not to move a little to the left.  I thought Jason was an arrogant jerk and got exactly what he deserved.  He wasn't someone Lorelai would have considered dating if he hadn't pursued her so aggressively (almost like sealing a business deal).  And I always felt like "I can't date someone who's suing my family" was code for "I can't date someone who's just like my father." 

    • Love 2
  21. I think the other poster was using "romantic relationship" to distinguish those relationships from other relationships (friendships, family relationships, etc.). Luke does appear to be able to have functional non-romantic relationships, despite his issues. It's just that he's a disaster as a romantic partner.

     

    Yes, I know.  But besides the romantic piece, I  think Luke would be a much better "romantic" partner and co-parent in a committed relationship.  The most important reason I think this is because he has the ability to focus on what the other person needs without funneling it through his own opinions and experiences.  Even in the most maligned episode, AVV, after Lorelai reacted to the grumpy way Luke was acting he turned on a dime and improved his behavior when he realized it was bothering her.  When April was upset about moving to NM he responded with positive comments about it to her instead of focusing on how it would affect him, and initially went to Anna with ideas of how to make it easier for April.  Despite all of the legitimate reasons Luke had to be resentful of Liz he was able to move past it to be happy when she got married and even talked Jess into being there for her.

     

    He "tolerates" situations or people that he doesn't like and quietly marinates in anger until he explodes in an inappropriate outburst. He does tolerate people past most others' endurance--the multiple chances--but he does it while seething with resentment.

     

    To me, this sounds much more like Christopher than Luke.  Compare the way each responded when Lorelai wanted to keep her house.  Even with his inheritance, Christopher never suggested seeing if they could add more room when he and Gigi moved in.  And once Luke gave up the Twickham House he wasn't resentful and never threw it back in Lorelai's face after the decision was made the way Chris did.  

    • Love 3
  22. I honestly don't think Luke was cut out for a romantic relationship, like with anyone.

     

     

    I agree with this, and think Luke even knew this.  But it doesn't mean he wouldn't have made a great partner and co-parent for Lorelai.  Much better than Christopher ever was.  Romance isn't a requirement for a good marriage and probably wasn't high on the list of things Lorelai wanted in her future. 

  23. They seemed to me to be stuck at 16 when together (well, Chris seemed to be permanently 16). IMO, while they "got" each other it seemed to come from a very shallow place.

     

    I agree with this, and think one of the reasons I didn't see them a good couple was the difference in their adult development/life stage.  By season 7 Lorelai had created a whole new life for herself and Rory, bought a house, raised a child to adulthood single-handedly, and started her own business.  Chris, on the other hand, had only worked a steady job at that point for about 5 years and was a default single parent to a 5-year-old.  Lorelai started young and had experiences more like someone at least 5 years older while Christopher's were more like someone about 10 years younger.  No wonder they had such trouble combining their lives.  Then again, when you consider that at 16 Christopher was ready to accept Richard's job and marry her while Lorelai knew they would both end up miserable, maybe it was more a maturity/personality thing from the beginning.

     

    I'm of the (admittedly unpopular) opinion that pandering to fans' demands--shippery or otherwise--almost never improves the quality of the show.

     

    I wholeheartedly agree, and would much rather see the vision that the creator of the show and characters had for it rather than what fans wanted to happen. If anyone is so unhappy about what happens in any given show they can always choose not to watch.

    • Love 2
  24. I also think, as Lorelai herself admits in the final season, that she and Christopher would have made their marriage work if she wasn't still in love with Luke.

     

    No she didn't. 

    LORELAI: [sniffles] It's not just Luke.

    CHRISTOPHER: Lor...

    LORELAI: I mean, you were right. There are feelings there, because... when that ended, I just jumped.

    CHRISTOPHER: I pushed you.

    LORELAI: I jumped. But if that's all there was -- if that's all it was, we could fix it, you know... with time.

     

    Lorelai finally realized all Chris was was a "possibility."  If they both wanted to be together they could have been long before Rory was 21.  I could never understand why Christopher proposed in Christopher Returns only to go back to California.  If a woman who you love turns down your proposal by saying you don't know each other as adults why wouldn't you decide to become a bigger part of her (and your daughter's) life in order to get to know each other as adults?  Answer--because Chris at 32 years old was incapable of taking responsibility for his actions and making a real commitment to anyone.  Instead he ended up moving to Boston for Sherry under duress of losing her, made promises to Lorelai and Rory before breaking up with her, and then apparently left Sherry with all the child care while he traveled for work.  Chris never changed--it was always someone else's fault and always all about him--it was too hard for him to see Rory but not be with Lorelai, so sad that he 'missed out' on Rory's childhood, etc. etc. Yes, I know at least some of the story happened that way because of the actor's schedule but it was still very clear it was never going to work between them.  It would have been nice to see some actual character growth for Chris in seasons 6 and 7 but other than inheriting a bunch of money and being left with a young daughter to raise, I didn't see any change in him at all.

    • Love 6
  25. The problem is, the more you look at the first four seasons, the more SHHS comes across as a school that in this day and age would be shut down from not following common core, having students skip and never notifying parents/guardians.

     

     

    I always thought the reason Luke wasn't notified about Jess was because he'd turned 18, and the principal mentioned notifying Jess numerous times.  As far as saying the Pledge of Allegiance in six different languages I agree Stars Hollow is definitely quirky enough, especially if someone as crazy as Taylor was involved in the decision making.  Also, I really love that line.  Though maybe not so much as Luke's rant about selected pre-approved outings including freeway beautification and Color Me Mine pottery.  

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