HissyFit

I did the same thing. The cheap little digital tucked into the shelf next to the new box and works great. Eight or nine bucks and darn well worth it.

Vermont Country Store has some in 100% woven cotton seersucker.

I read "Demon Copperhead" two weeks ago. The story: depressing. The writing: delightful. The fact that it gave me an FJ for Jeopardy: priceless!

If, indeed, all our electronic devices are programmed to scan our utterances for terrorist code words and transmit them to the FBI or Homeland Security, I imagine this recent report: "On March 18 we observed a huge, synchronized spike in domestic chatter using the same phrase. The language is not yet determined, but the phrase sounds like 'A-unh Buhh.'"

Wild critters kept eating the fish in my neighbor's koi pond, so she bought some fake ones. They're dekois.

In the Crossword Clues "R" category, the answer was "What's all this noise? (6 letters)." The correct word was "racket." Would they have accepted "ruckus"?

I'm tired of people who complain about everything. $2.00 for a cup of coffee. $3.00 for a coat check. $4.00 an hour for parking. I'm just going to stop inviting them to my house.

Or 30.

(giggling) Instead of "Elf on a Shelf," it's "Keith on a Wreath."

My peeve today: All of the click-bait ads on social media with come-ons like, "He was a teen heart-throb in the '70s, but he's unrecognizable now!" as if it's shocking news. Having attended my 50-year class reunion, I can say that would apply to most of us.

I hope the guy who invented AutoCorrect burns in hello.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle. I bought a bottle of scotch and put it in my bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, it occurred to me that if I fell off the bike, the bottle of scotch would break and be wasted. So I drank the whole bottle before I cycled home. It turned out to be a wise decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times before I made it home.

I, too, had a favorite piece of furniture that housed an old box TV. I carefully measured the width of the hole, then took my tape measure to the store, which had dozens of sizes on display. Ignore the screen sizes on the box. Just find the widest unit that will fit in the hole. Modern TVs have a much slimmer frame. Because HD TVs are so much clearer, I can see my newer TV much better, from the same distance and location. Since the newer TV is not as tall as the space, I built and stained a "shelf" for the TV to sit on. It lifts the screen to the top of the niche and makes the whole thing look custom. I use the space below as horizontal storage for a few oversized art books.

There were so many different birds to create that God grew weary during the process. When he got to "duck," he said, "Oh, heck, just make a chicken waterproof and give it a kazoo."

I'm afraid of elevators, so I take steps to avoid them.