Josiah Bounderby

"Nothing wrong with that but it's not true to the pitch." This is very perceptive. The show has sort of turned into the Marcus Grows His Empire Hour. Why can't some episodes just be about improving a small business? Period. No scaling, no product launches, no integration.

Bunting nailed this one. The ep was both too long and too short. If I hadn't been fast-forwarding through parts of it, I never would have made it through.

What on earth was there for Marcus? 1. How did that crappy little gyros place (the main one) manage to generate so much profit? It couldn't. Remember how the owner had weasel words when he explained what the controlling entity was "blah, blah, we haven't, LLC, blah blah" My take-away was that there is no legal distinction between their franchise business and the original store. So sure, once they assigned all the money they took from the franchises, THEN they could claim that their sad little restaurant was profitable. Did Marcus really fall for that? Nah, it just fit into the narrative. This was going to be a feel-good episode. Marcus grew up with Greeks! Group hug! Wonderful salt-of-the-earth restaurant people! Bleah. I found the main family non-telegenic and, for the most part, inarticulate. Opa! 2. How many times did Marcus make a reference to what a great concept the place was? A gyros place? Gyros, pita, fries. Come on. 3. The "we have to do all these things before we open tonight" was the baldest sort of reality-tv artificial goal. I suppose they felt they had to show everyone "pulling together." 4. How does a show about a restaurant turn-around have virtually nothing in it about the improved menu? I wanted less about a car accident and more about the bloody food.

This episode certainly looks like it was greenlit by a producer who thought the sign guy would be tv gold. I want to say something like "that poor girlfriend," but she picked him. Him! Because she and the sign guy have this incredibly rich/twisted sexual life together? No, the answer is probably a banal one: once every 45 days he cries like a little boy in her arms and deep, deep down she knows that he can really change.

Oh, I felt for the Planet Popcorn woman. Do I like her? Of course not. Is she some wronged innocent? Of course not. But that was one of the most soundly humiliating things I've ever seen anyone go through on reality tv. Her barely holding it together. Her dutiful presentation of all the ways she had changed her business. Seems to me that she would have taken anything Marcus offered her. And Marcus loved this. A lot. He understands partnerships but on an interpersonal level, he is perhaps most comfortable playing the role of father. (I think his main focus as a performer at this time was to make sure he didn't look as if he were enjoying things too much.) So...two days later do you think she sees Marcus as a valued business partner or as the motherfucker who fucked up her business?

Everything about this episode says that the producers were enthusiastic about the casting of Unique and that Marcus was not. He can't scale this. He can't build an empire. And hair products seems like a very crowded marketplace. (Thus, the thoroughly half-assed nature of the product line.) But the producers loved the potential..."oooh, let's see Marcus surrounded by shrieking, blonde, harpies. Fish out of water! That's some great tv." As it turns out, not really.

Erica Cole by Raquel is a ludicrous and difficult-to-remember name. However, Queen's Vibe (Queens Vibe?) is worse. Much worse. Everything about Queen's Vibe is wrong-headed. First there is the aural confusion created by the name Queensvibe... One word or two? This name has the following sounds side-by-side: n + s + v + a dipthong + b? Impossible to visualize! Tricky to say! Hard to hear. "What did you just say...Queensvye?" And the practical confusion this name creates: who is this Queen? What is this vibe she possesses? There's also an unhappy disconnect between the sound-based word "vibe" and the fact that this is a place where you make and buy visual art. And once you get past all these obstacles, you end up with the fact that this vibe in Queens is apparently 1989 graffiti done by De La Soul's posse. The name is so dated that it comes across as terminally bourgeois.

"Bespoke Doughnuts" -- terrible name. Of the universe of people who might eat a doughnut in an upscale part of a big city, how many of them instantly know what "bespoke" means? How many of them are confident they know how to pronounce "bespoke" (in an American accent)? How many of them have an unconcious association with bicycle spokes? Also -- bespoke is not a pretty-sounding word. Doesn't feel like a food word. And, yea, the caulk gun is unappetizing! And if I were having to turn out doughnuts by the hundreds, I'd want a much smaller, lighter tool.

7 Small (or Petty) Observations... 1. Joe and Tim have really settled into their personas. They've very much at home with this format. 2. I was so happy that I didn't have to listen to a lot of macaroni-related, self-indulgent singing. However, I wanted to see how the show would have handled "Mac & Cheese Woman #2" -- another "partner" who seemed more like an entry-level employee. 3. That food truck looked filthy and run-down. 4. Good point -- the food truck "experience" apparently made them make the dough early which sunk them. 5. Attractive as they were, it was hard for me to root for a duo whose hair was trying so hard. 6. I suspect that about 50% of the contestants who get on-show deals actually end up seeing some money. 7. I just realized that every time Wayland speaks, I stop listening. She's a one-note performer. A fairly inexpressive face? A thoroughly inexpressive voice! Also, the show hasn't figured out how to use her.

Bunting was right. This was a deeply odd episode. Particularly the negotiation segment. I'm now at a point with Restaurant Startup where I don't watch the episode as an episode. I watch it is a gateway through which I can see the producers at work. Seems to me that they had a tough time casting this thing. Fishing for cast at food truck events, I'm guessing. Grafting on last-minute "partners." Combining wholesale food product roll-outs with restaurants. It all has a hue of desperation. And they have yet to cast a single memorable reality tv character! I keep waiting for the hostile person with a personality disorder, or the unhinged visionary, or the relatable person who melts me with their sincerity. The closest they have come was that weepy Filipino line cook (and he was more annoying than memorable.)