900 Pound Man: The Race Against Time (TLC) - General Discussion

[auntjess]

This is a TLC documentary on Ricky Naputi, a man from Guam who sought to get to the US for weight loss surgery. 
If you've watch My 600 etc, you'll get it when I saw Ricky made Penny seem like she's trying to lose.
Really, one of the most ungrateful people, and acted like no one tried to help him.
This is not Dr. Now, but another Houston bariatric surgeon, Dr. Duc Vuong, flies to Guam to assess him.
Not sure when this will be repeated on TLC, but it is on youtube now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xanEdZj_rnU
I saw some mention of this case in the 600- threads, so hoping someone else would like to discuss this one.

[abbey]

Saw this when it was on TLC.  Just made me so angry.  That doctor flew all the way from Houston, other folks tried to help him, but to no avail.  A very, very sad situation and he paid the ultimate price.

[auntjess]

He seemed to be expecting some magic bullet, because he kept saying no one would help him, and made some crack about doctors, when he just would not cut down on eating.
I wasn't sure if he wife was the same, or if she was just fed up with him.
  When the doctor who came from Australia to help him, had things finally lined up to do the surgery in Guam, and then said all you have to do is lose some weight, Ricky said something about I'm always ready to do what's necessary.
At that point, when his wife said "whatever" and walked out, I wasn't sure if it was the doctor or Ricky's bs she was mad at.

[dahling]

I watched. I thought it was a testament to how strong food addiction can be, and also how strong his control over his wife was. It's hard to imagine that she just kept on feeding him whatever he demanded, even though it was ruining their lives. I'm assuming they received nutritional counseling, sample meal plans, etc. At least I hope they received something besides a directive to "lose 100 pounds, good luck, bye". Very sad story. 

[notyrmomma]

I had seen this before, but I watched it again this morning.  His wife is an interesting case.  On one hand, his issues really are ultimately her fault as she was the one bringing him the food, but on the other hand, there must have been some serious psychological abuse going on over there to make her do the things she did.  He ended up killing himself (quicker) when she made it clear that she was outta there, which I bet was his last attempt to manipulate her.  I have a feeling that she didn't go to the funeral because the family directly blamed her for his demise (not because she "didn't want to"), which would have been completely unfair.  I feel for her and I hope she has been able to gain a more normal life now.

[auntjess]

Didn't she say at one point, about how he was the husband, so she did what he asked.
Sean reminded me of Ricky, in that both blamed others, and seemed to think there would be a magic fix if/when they had surgery.
I was angry when his relatives, at the funeral, were saying how sad it was that Ricky couldn't get anyone to help him.
 

[notyrmomma]

Sean is lucky that he was in the continental United States and they were able to bring him to Houston.  Sean was also much larger than Ricky, but he had his "youth" on his side and didn't appear to have a history of drug abuse.  If there was no intervention, Sean would have met the same demise in a couple of years.

Yeah, that burns me how they said that at the end.  He had everyone trying to help him.  It reminds me of my kids and their school work.  I can get them all the tutors in the world and make sure their homework is done every night, but at the end of the day, I can't take the tests for them, but the teachers still look at me like I did something wrong.  That's just the way life is.

[auntjess]

I can't remember why Ricky couldn't fly, either he wouldn't fit or couldn't tolerate it, but I wondered about a ship, especially when the Australian doctor came in the picture. 
On 600 Pound Life, Amber did fly, but took 2 seats.  Ricky or Sean would have needed 3, but it would have at least been quicker.
 

[Scarlett45]

On September 16, 2016 at 7:47 AM, abbey said:

Saw this when it was on TLC.  Just made me so angry.  That doctor flew all the way from Houston, other folks tried to help him, but to no avail.  A very, very sad situation and he paid the ultimate price.

Of course there are exceptions to this (a few people on shows like My 600lbs life have been kind, pleasant, eager for help etc), but I wonder whatever personality characteristics (I don't want to say flaws or disorders) that enable someone to become so large they can no longer function in life make people passive aggressive assholes with a victim complex. I understand that living with chronic pain and low self esteem can turn the sweetest person nasty, but this is an entire different level. It's one thing to struggle with your weight (a lot of people do), but to get to the point where you're immobile etc and then be rude to the people keeping you alive and clean boggles my mind. You must on some level think you have power over your caregivers, when it's the other way around.....

 

I did feel for his wife. Yes she had issues with enabling him, but she had a bit of self awareness to try to change that. Being a full time caregiver rather than a partner took its toll on her and she left. She essentially lost her husband ho suicide. 

Edited September 20, 2016 by Scarlett45
Ricky's wife

[auntjess]

12 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

You must on some level think you have power over your caregivers, when it's the other way around.....

True for Ricky, but some of those on 600-lb Life, they have such strong willpower, or whatever, that the caregivers--spouses, kid, parent, seem afraid to cross the person, and risk their ire.

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, auntjess said:

True for Ricky, but some of those on 600-lb Life, they have such strong willpower, or whatever, that the caregivers--spouses, kid, parent, seem afraid to cross the person, and risk their ire.

That's what I'm saying. How are you going to be afraid of someone that can't wipe their own behind or chase you if you leave the room? Tell them, "look, you will be nice to everyone or I will leave you in this room with your thoughts, a book and water. With a sponge bath once a day". 

With parents I understand it a bit more because there are feelings of guilt etc, but how goes the person who contributes nothing to the home have so much power?!!

[notyrmomma]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

That's what I'm saying. How are you going to be afraid of someone that can't wipe their own behind or chase you if you leave the room? Tell them, "look, you will be nice to everyone or I will leave you in this room with your thoughts, a book and water. With a sponge bath once a day". 

With parents I understand it a bit more because there are feelings of guilt etc, but how goes the person who contributes nothing to the home have so much power?!!

Psychological...."you are nothing," "you'll never get anyone other than me," "you're too stupid to leave," "If you don't help me, I'll kill myself" and God only knows what else.  This coupled with something like low self esteem or other mental issues to begin with, and that's how it happens.  I deeply believe this was the case with her.  

[auntjess]

In a few cases, I wonder too, if there was at least the threat of physical violence. 

[notyrmomma]

or actual physical violence (throwing things or hitting her when she is close enough to him).  Also, he wasn't always completely bed bound.  Who knows what he was like before he was completely immobile.  

[auntjess]

This is on tonight at 6PM ET (4/23/17), on Discovery Life.

[auntjess]

I'm watching this now, and will post this link.