Things overheard up and down "The J" -- Killjoys Quotes

[ottoDbusdriver]

your quotes thread

[ottoDbusdriver]

Dutch: "Johnny, can you get us in ?"
Johnny: "Do Tarkasians eat their young ? 
<long pause>
Johnny: "Yes, the answer is yes, god people read a book."

[ottoDbusdriver]

Pree: "Alright bitches, who's up for cleaning brain off of brick."

Johnny: "That guy is the dickiest dick that ever dicked."
D'avin: "But he's the dick with the keys to the wall."

Johnny: "I've seen walls before but those walls were walls, but this is ...... oooh, forgive me, I'm aroused."
After the scan
Johnny: "I love you wall"
Dutch: "Impressive"
Pree: "Invasive"
D'avin: "On what planet were you a warlord ?"
 

Edited July 10, 2016 by ottoDbusdriver

[CletusMusashi]

Pree: Locked and cocked. Let's give these bitches some stitches. What? I rhyme when I'm nervous.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Fancy:  "Face it Jaqobis, my physiology is superior in every way."  D'avin:  "You're a 6, not a ten.  Simmer down."

 

John:  "Get ready girl, we're buzzing that damn tower."  Lucy:  "Negative, John.  The pattern is full." 

Edited September 5, 2016 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

On 7/13/2016 at 1:29 PM, CletusMusashi said:

Pree: Locked and cocked. Let's give these bitches some stitches. What? I rhyme when I'm nervous.

Pree:  "I'm divorcing you and taking all your pretend money."

[ottoDbusdriver]

24 minutes ago, iRarelyWatchTV36 said:

Fancy:  "Face it Jaqobis, I'm physically superior to you in every way now."  D'avin:  "You're a 6, not a ten.  Simmer down."

 

John:  "Get ready girl, we're buzzing that damn tower."  Lucy:  "Negative, John.  The pattern is full." 

I love that they worked in a 'Top Gun' reference there.

D'Avin's retort to Fancy was pretty awesome.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Khlyen: "What you're seeing in Old Town right now is the beginning of that handover. A silent invasion has begin."
Johnny: "This is crazy. No, this is bullshit. This is crazy bullshit. How can you be so calm about all this ?"
Khlyen: "Well, to be fair, I've had a lot longer to process. Centuries. You do not have that luxury."

Dutch: "So, those darts of yours can destroy the plasma and save the Quad.  Done. I don't care what you call that shit I want it dead and I'm good at killing.  Lucy, change course, let's go piss in Arkyn's pool."

Johnny: "Have fun saving the Quad. Don't get any on you."

Fancy: "I didn't hate what you did there."
D'Avin: "Yeah, well keep it in your pants, but ditto."

Johnny: "Alright. Take us out, we've gotta get 'em away from here. Evasion pattern Blueberry Foxtrot."
Lucy: "We need to work on your codenames."
Johhny: "Ju .. just shut up and fly Lucy"

D'Avin: "No offense, but I always pictured my last stand blaze of glory being with my brother. Not you."
Fancy: "I heal, remember, you're the one having an existential crisis. Don't worry, I'll tell everyone you died sexy."

Dutch: "You smell like chicken"
Khlyen: "Are you going to finish the job or just stand there and quip all day."
Dutch: "Suck on this you lilttle green bitches."

Johnny: "Aw, shitballs and bitchsticks."

D'Avin: "Hi, I'm D'Avin and this is my little buddy Fancy.  We'd like to talk about a refund."

Delle Seyah: "It was you who was calling me. Not Khlyen."
Johnny: "Technology is a disloyal bitch. Kinda like you."

Johnny (after shooting Delle Seyah): "So you know, that wasn't for all the people you killed. Or the millions more you would enslave if you got another chance. I am not a hero. I just loved her."

Clara: "Hey nerd."
Johnny: "Clara.  What ?"
Clara: "Lucy called me. Said you may need some company."
Lucy: "You need a wingman. And she has a gun-arm."
Clara: "Sorry about your friend.  So, you running away from home ?"
Johhny: "As fast as I can."
Clara: "Cool. I love road trips. I call shotgun."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Delle Sayeh: "You know,  I may be a power whore, but at least I know when to choose my battles."

- - - - - - - -

Lucy: "John, Archive's docking matrix is being very condescending."  Johnny: "Don't let it ruffle ya, Luce.  Fly like a rich bitch."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Dutch: "He tracked the shit out of us, so now we shit the track out of him."
Johnny: "That made no sense."
Dutch: "Because I'm angry."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Pree:  "This better be worth the chafing!"
Dutch:  "Hurry up, Pree, or you're not going to make it."
Pree:  "Bury me in one piece!"

D'avin:  "Headbutt!?  Be a man, guy!"

D'avin:  "Hey, don't take your haircut out on me."

Dutch:  *after a throwing knife flies by and embeds in a wall*  "Ew!  Where were you hiding that!?"

Dutch:  "A headbutt??"
D'avin:  "What?  They're really in these days."

Lucy:  "Pippin has finished his task and has asked me to send along a message."
Dutch:  "Let's hear it, Lucy."
Lucy:  "I did it.  I'm amazing.  Tell those shitbirds I did it.  No wait, don't call them shitbirds. ... So what's the story with the hot one?  The girl hot one.  Is she seeing anybody?-"

D'avin:  "Did you not see the words coming out of my mouth?"
Fancy:  "How would I see words?  That makes no sense."
D'avin:  "I'd like to request separate cells."

Ollie:  "Goodnight, Johnny Basic."
Johnny:  "Goodnight small, complicated lady whose name I should know."
 

Pippin:  "You all should be thanking me."
Dutch:  "For what!?"
Pippin:  "For making that deal go down, and everyone getting what they wanted with little trouble-"
Border Patrol ship:  *spotlight blinds the group*  "Pippin Foster.  This is Border Patrol.  You are under arrest for black arms dealing."
Everyone else in the group:  *sarcastically praises Pippin continuously*

Hullen'd Hackmod(?):  "Uh oh.  Where's your arm?"
Johnny:  *shoots guy in the eye*  "Uh oh.  Where's your face?"

Hullen'd RAC agent:  "So we have a bartender and a monk.  What are you doing working with a bunch of Killjoys and stolen goods?"
Alvis:  "That's actually a pretty fair question."
Pree:  "She's got us there.  That keeps me up at night."

Dutch:  "Lucy, once we collect the black juice from the dead, bomb this bitch from orbit."
Lucy:  "Consider the bitch bombed."

Edited July 7, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Turin:  "You two are gonna need more than your shitty cologne and sexual tension."
D'avin:  "I smell great!"

Zeph:  "What kind of guns do we get?"
D'avin:  "None.  You get none guns."

Zeph:  "Oh.  When we complete the mission, will you be deciding which one of us will replace Agent Jaqobi?"
Dutch:  "No one replaces Johnny Jaqobis."
Lucy:  "Thank you, Dutch."

Johnny:  "Livio Surgical Spa, where reconstruction means rejuvenation.  I guess "We make Skin Suits" wasn't catchy enough."

Niko:  "Hmm.  I enjoy a firm grip."
Johnny:  "Same."

Niko's assistant:  "Jaw lines aren't the best..."
Johnny:  "What?"
Niko's assistant:  "... maybe smooth the asymmetry, nothing we can do about the ear placement."
Johnny:  "My ears are Adorable.  And can hear you."

Johnny:  "Wow.  I'm not going to lie.  I would make sweet, sweet love to that man and he would like it!  *laughs*  I am a sexy wolf-man!"

Zeph:  "(asking why D'avin's not sweating or reacting to the high-stress situation).  Any strange rashes in your moist areas?"
D'avin:  "Whoa, hold it.  Offsides.  Ok look, I don't do geeky mating rituals, but whatever this is, I'm so not into it.  Super not.  *walks off-screen muttering*  My moist areas!?"

Computer voice:  "Movement detected.  Re-calibrating.  Please stop moving."
Johnny:  "I don't want to!"
Computer voice:  "Please stop moving."

Johnny:  "Johnny ain't no Basic, bitch!"

Ollie/Clara:  "Hi.  I believe we have an appointment."
Niko:  "You must be Ollie.  Or is it Clara?"
Ollie/Clara:  "Its 'Bitch you must be joking if you think you can take me with that little bitch stick'."
 

Johnny:  "What about you Luce?  Did ya miss me?"
Lucy:  "If ships could cry, I would have rusted, John."

Edited July 10, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

D'avin:  "As much as I enjoy being your guinea-bitch, Zeph, me and my nipples are off-limts until you do more research."

Dutch:  "Prima Dezz.  Are you blushing?"
Pree:  "I don't blush.  I glow."

Flik:  "Cmon Jaqobis.  Killjoy to Killjoy.  You really gonna shoot a brother of the badge?"
D'avin:  "I only have one brother."

D'avin:  "Hey, welcome back.  How ya feeling?"
Flik:  "Upside down-y."

D'avin:  "Sorry about shooting you earlier.  Not cool."
Gared:  "Eh, its ok.  I just have one of those faces."
---------
D'avin:  "So are you and Pree...?"
Gared:  "I don't know, man.  That guy's locked up tighter than a Niner's asshole."
D'avin:  "Johnny forgot to mention he shot the Queen of the Quad."
D'avin & Gared:  "Dudes."

D'avin:  *unzips his shirt and shows off his chest, which Zeph stares at*  "Its just for research, remember?"
---------
D'avin:  "Its never just beer and fritters."

Zeph:  "Now, be specific when keying in to Delle Sayeh's memories.  Did she wear perfume?  Smell is one of the of the most powerful memory triggers."
D'avin:  "You want me to get high and sniff her panties?"
Zeph:  "Do you have some?!"
D'avin:  "We really need to work on the whole joke thing."

Dutch:  "No.  Not if it means leaving Pree here to die for your honor code."
Pree:  "Its ok, we worked it out.  I had to put out.  A lot."

Pree:  "They say 'make love, not war'.  I say why choose?"
 

Edited July 30, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Dutch:  "Why are we just sitting here?!  We have guns and they have no pants."
D'avin:  "Professional etiquette.  He's a ranking officer.  Let him finish."
Dutch:  "Well, my ears need a shower..."
*the captain is heard saying "I'm coming, I'm coming"*
Dutch:  "... and therapy."

*Dutch throws some joy down on the bed*
D'avin:  "What's that for?"
Dutch:  "Tipping her.  She did all the work."
Prostitute:  "Thank you!"

(will do a rewatch and add more quotes later)

 

Edited July 30, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Delle Seyah:  "Wait, was she there this whole time?"
Aneela:  "Yes.  Its her job."
Delle Seyah:  "Huh.  I'm into it."

Delle Seyah:  "Its good to be queen."

Dutch:  (telling the Nine its not about the sales pitch anymore)
D'avin:  "Actually, it is a sales pitch.  We really need the money."

Johnny:  "I'd say I'm impressed, but I try not to compliment mass murderers."

Edited August 5, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[johntfs]

Dutch: I could never accuse you of murder... because you're an attention-whore activist who would scream it from the rooftops before I had a chance.

Alvis:  Well that's not... Fair point.,

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Johnny:  "Lucy, if you had a body, I would kiss it all over."
Lucy:  "John, if I had a body, I would let you."
Johnny:  "That's still really creepy, girl."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

D'avin:  "You said we can't win this head to head, so we gotta get dirtier."
Johnny:  "Ass to mouth?"

Edited August 19, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[ottoDbusdriver]

Pree: "What did I tell you about incapacitating my customers ?"
Dutch: "Keep it in the back rooms,"
Pree and Dutch (simultaneous): "and not the ones that tip."
Dutch: "Even it it determines the fate of our war.  Because that deserves some front room action."
Pree: "Front or back should always be a pre-game discussion sweet cheeks."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

D'avin:  "You need a giant vibrator."
Johnny:  "For science! ...  ok, and a little pleasure, but mostly for science!"

Edited August 20, 2017 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[johntfs]

Zeph:  You smell like sports.

Edited March 23, 2018 by johntfs