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The Couples: Make or Break?


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Mormons? Together forever

Brenda and Travis? I think five years. Brenda will stay in school, work part time and do all housework and cooking. She'll graduate, get a great job at a non profit, work long hours. Travis stick out his bottom lip about being neglected and will cheat on her with a waitress from Applebee's, and get her pregnant.

Emma and Joey? Three years tops. Emma reminds me of Teen Mom 2's Kail. She won't stop nagging Joey about getting a better job, buying a house, and dressing nicer. She will dump him for a young bank teller or car salesman or insurance claims rep. Joey will barely notice and eventually move in with a hairdresser who does roller derby in her spare time.

  • Love 2
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Mormons - sad marriage. She never experiences orgasm. They have eleventy-thousand kids. Her mother calls her and cries on the phone twice a day for the rest of her life.

Emma & Joey - in 5 years, Joey goes missing. Emma is a prime suspect, but there is never enough evidence to charge her. She claims he just went out for smokes one day and never returned. Emma remarries an older businessman and moves to Brazil. In 15 years, human remains are found in the backyard of the home they purchased shortly after marrying.

Brenda & Travis - In October 2016, Travis buys a "Make America Great Again" hat online and overdraws their checking account. The ensuing fight leads them to seek an annulment. Travis has a nervous breakdown shortly after the November election. Brenda starts dating a hot, wealthy, former Bernie-Bro who is not a virgin and she lives happily ever after.  

  • Love 7
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