Crazy Quotes: Body Rolls Are Hard

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Rebecca: I've retired from stalking but you never lose the skills. I'm sorry to violate your boundaries and your morning speed walk.

Dr. A: Don't get into any jacuzzi slap fights.

White Josh: Let's say a spending cap of $50.
Nathaniel: What? No! What can you do with $50? Park?

White Josh: Shirts stay on. So that eliminates your advantage, Josh, and yours as well, Nathaniel, which leaves Greg whose advantage is...
Nathaniel: Yeah, what is your thing?
Josh: What is the thing you do that's good?
Greg: I do nothing. That's my special charm.

Darryl: I don't have cash, but I do have Swiss francs. I always carry them with me in case the economy collapses.

Rebecca: I wonder what Broadway standard this is. I don't recognize it. Maybe it's from Starlight Express or Once on This Island. Those are the two shows I know the least.
Nathaniel: Ugh, no. I screwed this up. It's not Broadway's greatest hits. It's 70s groove night with Marty Macaroon and the Funkytown Eight.

Bernie: Very hard to get poop out of wicker.

Greg: I used to feel so confident about Rebecca and now...this week I've just been steaming a whole bunch of fish and agreeing to sail over the Temecula Valley in a stripey balloon.

Dr. A: Just follow what's in your heart.
Rebecca: Follow what's in my heart? What kind of therapist advice is that?

Nathaniel: I hope Greg dies.
Josh: Ooh, are you thinking San Andreas fault?
Nathaniel: I was actually thinking lightning bolt. It's quick. It's painless. I do like the guy.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Rebecca: Thank you so much for seeing me on such short notice and first thing in the morning.
Dr. A: I keep my Valentine's Days open for walk-ins. Big trigger day.

Rebecca: I'm not eating. I'm not sleeping. And those are usually my two best events.

Rebecca: You're not Dr. Akopian. You're the dream ghost. I'm asleep right now.
Dr. A: This morning you decided to try one of Josh's green juices and had to run to the bathroom. You fell asleep on the toilet. That's where you are right now.

White Josh: So did you hear from Rebecca?
Greg: If I had heard from Rebecca, would I be here talking to you?
White Josh: Probably. You're a bit needy.

Josh: I'm so cold. Hold me.
Hector: I will not hold you. But I do have an extra fleece in my car.

Nathaniel: I've been trying to distract myself from thinking about Rebecca and her decision with my work, but half assing cases at a nothing firm - it's just not doing it for me anymore.
[Darryl and Bert exchange glances]
Nathaniel: I'm sorry. Should I not say that to you guys?

George: What is the company policy on fun hair? I was thinking about growing my hair long. Not for a man bun. For a sweet, sweet pony. It's going to take about a year to grow out and there are going to be some awkward stages along the way so I need your blessings.
Nathaniel: I've had the same haircut since 1998 so I don't care.

Rebecca: So just now I was in the bathroom and I was asleep on the toilet.
Paula: Multitasking. Smart.

White Josh: Never really came around on you. Never will.
Rebecca: Respect.
White Josh: Respect is not an appropriate response there.
Rebecca: Respect.

Paula: Rebecca? Hello? HEY! What are you doing?
Rebecca: Sorry, nothing.
Paula: That's not nothing. You're staring off into space like you do. You do that a lot. What's happening when you do that?
Rebecca: I don't want to tell you. It's weird.
Paula: Oh, come on. Any weirder than any of the many, MANY weird things we have done since we met?
Rebecca: I've just never told anybody - except the dream ghost and Dr. Phil.

Piano teacher: How many years of piano have you had?
Rebecca: None.
Piano teacher: What other instruments do you play?
Rebecca: None.
Piano teacher: What do you know about piano?
Rebecca: There appear to be black keys and white keys.
Piano teacher: Well, showing up is the first step.