The Walking Dead Corrupt a Wish Game

[CletusMusashi]

These have been done for many shows here. I think this one is overdue. Rules:

 

First person makes a wish. Say, for example: "I wish the Karen/David arc had never happened."

Next person (whoever responds first) grants the wish in the same way that an evil genie might.

And then makes their own wish.

Something like: 

 

I wish the Karen/David arc had never happened.

Wish granted!

They die of natural causes, Carol never get exiled. Instead she eventually gets gunned down while shooting Brillip. When eventually the CDB survivors are captured by Termites, there is nobody to rescue them except Tyreese, who is too busy running for his life from Lizzy and her zombie minions.

I wish Shane hadn't killed Otis.

 

Or, whatever. Next person corrupts that wish, and then resets the game by making one of their own. 

 

OK, here we go for real:

I wish that Beth had escaped with Noah.

Edited January 5, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[ladyrott]

Haven't played this since the Buffy boards on TWoP but I do love a good game.  :)

 

I wish that Beth had escaped with Noah.

 

 

Wish granted.  Beth and Noah make it out of the parking lot and to Daryl/Carol.  As they are sneaking back to the church, Beth gets bitten by a walker and we have two episodes dedicated to Daryl and Carol agonizing over having to kill her.  Beth sings multiple songs to perk everyone up and eventually Noah puts a bullet in her brain just to shut her up.

 

I wish Daryl had found Sophia alive the day the horse threw him.

[kikismom]

Haven't played this since the Buffy boards on TWoP but I do love a good game.  :)

 

 

Wish granted.  Beth and Noah make it out of the parking lot and to Daryl/Carol.  As they are sneaking back to the church, Beth gets bitten by a walker and we have two episodes dedicated to Daryl and Carol agonizing over having to kill her.  Beth sings multiple songs to perk everyone up and eventually Noah puts a bullet in her brain just to shut her up.

 

I wish Daryl had found Sophia alive the day the horse threw him.

Wish granted.

 

 Daryl Dixon is riding the Greene's horse Nellie when he suddenly spots the little girl he has been searching for.

Daryl: "SOPHIA!"

the frightened horse rears up

Daryl : "SOPHIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHAHSHITFUCKTHATHURTS"

(loud splash)

Sophia: "Daryl!

She spots the arrow piercing his body

Sophia: "Daryl, oh no! Is anything broken?"

Daryl: "Nah, just my lung."

Sophia: " I better get you help--but where?"

Daryl is coughing and turning blue

Daryl: "We...we got a camp...over...that ridge...a farm..."

Sophia: "Is Carl there? Is it safe?"

Daryl: "You wanna be safe or you wanna be where Carl is? Choose your battles kid!"

He falls back, wheezing and clutching his side.

Sophia: "How will I know it's the right place? I'm afraid!"

Daryl: "You can do it! (he coughs and gasps) There's a barn...listen for moans...could be walkers...or could be Carl's mother and Shane...either way it's the right place...hacks up blood

Sophia: " Daryl, now listen good---I have to leave you here, I can't watch over you and chase walkers at the same time. They don't get winded; I do."

Daryl: "You're winded---that's rich."

Sophia clambers up the rocks and as she reaches the top, she grasps a branch to pull herself up over the edge---then realizes she is clutching the gnarly limb of a very surprised Merle Dixon.

Merle: "Sophia!"

Sophia: "That's right, Merlina! You ever wanna find the group again you better take a pause for the cause and follow my lead, 'cause I just don't think you gonna make it without ol' Sophia!"

Merle: "We were better off with you missing."

 

I wish I knew how the story would have played out if Lori's abortion pills had worked.

[GreyBunny]

Wish granted!

 

Lori takes the morning after pills (which aren't abortion pills, they just prevent ovulation, too late to use if you're already pregnant) and...nothing happens.  The embryo figures out that Lori is going to be its mother, decides it's better off not being born, says "see ya," and the embryo goes bye-bye.  

 

Lori survives, berates Carol for not doing wimminz work, Carol gives in and relegates herself to doing laundry duty and never says a peep again.  The prison is breached, everyone scatters their separate ways, Carol and Lori end up with Lizzie.  Lizzie kills Micah, Tyreese, Carol, and Lori, and then hunts down Carl, Michonne, and Rick, and later manages to stalk and kill everyone else.  Lizzie turns up at Terminus, is adopted by Mary, and lives happily ever after.  

 

I wish Axel had lived.

Edited January 6, 2015 by GreyBunny

[CletusMusashi]

I wish Axel had lived.

He does. Axel and Carol become an item, and Carol is too busy having wild monkey sex to kill Karen and David.

Or to spend time with Lizzie.

Lizzie, not having anything else to do, takes a pair of wire cutters to the fence and lets in all the zombies. 

The only survivors are Axel, Lizzie, and Carl's Hat.

I wish we knew more about the funeral home.

Edited January 8, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[Cheetosandchoc]

The funeral home is actually a darker place than you may imagine. . I know what you are thinking, and your right, only its even more horrifying than you thought. The owner is a giant man who can trace his inbred ancestry since before the civil war. Because he was the last of his line, cuz you know, he had no sisters, he went crazy and opened up a funeral home/ porn studio. He defiles beloved grannies, and grampies, and records it. If reading about this turns you on in any way, you are a dirty person and you have no soul. Oh, and those jars of pickled pigs feet Beth and Daryl were consuming were not pickled pigs feet they were trophies taken from the defiled corpses and put into jars of formaldehyde.

I hope I do not get banned from here.

I wish Morgan's son Duane was still alive.

Edited January 16, 2015 by Cheetosandchoc

[kikismom]

I wish Morgan's son Duane was still alive.

Wish granted!

 

Morgan Jones is creeping stealthily through the woods when he hears a noise behind him:

Duane: Can I come out now Daddy?

Morgan: Dammit! No! I told you not to come out till I said the coast was clear. Clear!

Duane: Oh yeah. Sorry.

Morgan: Always say you're sorry, son.

Duane: Clear. Sorry. That's a lot to remember Daddy.

Morgan: You're about as incompetent as that Grimes kid.

Duane: The one who snuck up and shot you?

Morgan: I'm warning you, Duane.

Morgan looks around carefully, then leans closer to his son and whispers:

Morgan: Now I already laid the groundwork with ol' Deputy Dawg when I mumbled that shit about people wearin' dead people's faces, plus that whole sob story about you getting bit by your poor suffering mother.

Duane: Who?

Morgan: Duane, I'm counting to ten, one two three

Duane: Okay okay I was just fuckin with you. Sorry! Or...clear! I get them confused.

Morgan: Ferchrissakes Duane this is important! They are right nearby! The only way this will work is if we stick to the plan! Remember---I tell them that the circle with the cross through it is a sign that keeps zombies away! Like a crucifix scares away vampires! They must have seen the marks I made on the trees by now.

Duane: Maybe they even saw the tattoos you put on those botards you sent to Terminus! (giggles)

Morgan: Don't say botard Duane. They were inbred white trash hillbillies but there's no need to be rude about it.

Duane: Clear. I mean, sorry Daddy.

Morgan: Then I bring out my "walker-son" Duane...I say 'here I'll prove it' and I draw cross-hairs on that kid Noah's forehead, and it makes somebody instinctively shoot him dead. There can only be one black teenage boy at a time in this apocalypse; I'm gonna make sure it's my son.

Duane: But Daddy nobody would be stupid enough to kill a member of their own group!

Morgan: Oh Duane.You have no idea do you son?

Duane: I still don't understand why we can't kill that little bitch Carl?

Morgan: No one can kill Carl. If Carl dies, the universe disappears. No one knows why. Are you clear on that?

Duane: Can I come out yet?

Morgan: NOT TILL I SAY CLEAR!

 

I wish I knew what would have happened if Shane killed Rick at the farm, and the others had to choose between joining Team Shane's Prison or Team Governor's Woodbury/

[CletusMusashi]

Wish granted!

 

Herschel confronts Shane immediately. Shane drives off Herschel and his family at gunpoint.

The Greenes all end up working for the Governor.

Glenn goes too. Shortly after they get there, Merle arrives.

When he starts crap with Glenn, the Woodburians try to kill him and he runs away, eventually rejoining Shane.

Having Merle back as part of the group rekindles Daryl's loyalty to Shane, which had been wavering.

Andrea never meets Michonne or the Governor, because Lori gets tired of Shane cheating and kills her.

So MIchonne never slows down enough to meet the other characters.

Judith is assumed by everyone to be Shane's daughter, and is nicknamed Lil Asskiller.

Carl falls for Shane's bullshit story about being his real father.

They show their emotional bond by Coral giving Shane The Hat to wear.

Lori still dies in childbirth, but Shane keeps her around anyway, like the Governor's daughter.

Except with more zombie sex.

Without Herschel, when the flu breaks out, everyone at the prison dies. Except Lori, who has just enough trace memory left to realize that The Hat means something. So she puts it on and shambles her way to Woodbury.

The Governor falls in love and marries her. Now he has a complete family.

Most of Season 3 consists of the wedding ceremony, which is filmed in real time.

Beth sings a lot.

 

I wish that Father Gabriel were played by "fluffy" Latino comedian Gabriel Iglesias.

Edited January 18, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[Reghan]

I don't know who that is but I'll make something up.

Wish Granted!

But Father Gabriel hears "Easy street" and becomes so obsessed with it that it's all you ever hear him sing. He never says anything else. Pregnant Maggie gets so fed up with it that she shoots him, killing him.

I WISH THAT ANDREA HAD KILLED THE GOVERNOR IN HIS SLEEP LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO!

[CletusMusashi]

I WISH THAT ANDREA HAD KILLED THE GOVERNOR IN HIS SLEEP LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO!

She does. Her public cover story is that he died of a heart attack during... whatever sexual act Robert Kirkman believes to be the most exciting. Probably touching a booby or something. But when questioned by Martinez, she's smart enough to understand that he isn't going to fall for that, so she tells him that Brillip was about to go all Game of Thrones mad king on everybody's asses and burn the whole city to death. Martinez thinks about it for a second, says "Yeah, that sounds like him," and then they have sex. It's mostly just "man on bottom, woman on top with breasts constantly covered by sheets and/or hands," but at one point she does use her feet to pliar-tweak his nipples. Milton watches through the window and claps delightedly. After that, Martinez talks to Rick, yadda yadda yadda, they even go out and play golf a few times, yadda yadda yadda. Unfortunately, Rick turns out to be a better golfer than Martinez, largely because of how many zombies he is willing to kill to go after each and every ball, and so a very strong rivalry emerges. Eventually, Sir Cornelius Dingleberry The T'ird, the owner of every corporately owned prison in Georgia, finds his way to Woodbury. He loves the place, and he loves Martinez, and adopts him as the son that he never had. Because he always had the help deported when they got pregnant. Cornelius eventually sees Andrea, Martinez, and the foot nipple pliars, and falls dead almost immediately because he swallows his monocle. And Top hat. And cane. Stories about exactly how long he was watching, and how involved he may or may not have gotten, vary a bit depending on who you ask. But, anyhoo, Martinez inherits the deed to the prison. After that, he is determined to kick Rick off the land in order to build a giant Rick-free golf course.

And, by the way, all of this happens in one episode. After that, every single plot is Martinez trying to get Rick to give up the prison. Basically, every week, year after year, they have Coral tied to the railroad tracks, while Camp Dinner Bell say "Well, that's cool. At least we know where he is right now. Okay, so let's begin the prison council meeting. First up: Carol's proposal to plant beets in sector 3..."

I wish Shiva could talk.

Edited December 4, 2016 by CletusMusashi

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Shiva can talk, but she speaks in riddles, much like a Sphinx.

I wish someone would try to give Negan a shit ton of acorns.

[CletusMusashi]

They do, and he spends a very special three hour episode teaching Coral how to play acorn baseball.

I wish that Jerry would get a solo episode.