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Selfie Quotes

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Freddy: Hey there, sweet potato. You're not a french fry so stop showing up with my burger!


Henry: You are what Jamie Foxx and other men of my generation refer to as a booty call.


Henry: If you're serious, stop responding when he texts "Sup?" If he wants to know sup, he can stop by your desk and form a full sentence.

Eliza: Totes. Ally.


Henry: You need to become the kind of person who doesn't spend all her time thinking about the opposite sex.

Eliza: So like a lesbian?


Eliza: That is so cute. Look at using Facebook on your desktop like it's 2011 again. You know there's an app, right? For your phone.


Henry: Maybe she didn't see it.

Eliza: No, yeah. She definitely saw it. You get an alert.

Henry: An alert? An alert? Why would they do that?

Eliza: To keep track of the pervs.

Henry: This is why I didn't want to join Facebook.

Eliza: Because you knew you'd act like a perv?


Eliza: Hanging out with these non-sexual farm to table mini grandmas is not taking my mind off of Freddy who keeps texting me.

Henry: Eliza, my ex thinks I have a lactating fetish.


Wendy: The last time I saw you, you were rocking those frosted tips.

Henry: I frosted one tip.

Wendy: Because you loved Mark McGrath.

Henry: I didn't love Mark McGrath. I admired his resilience. Pop culture asked them to leave and instead he rose like a phoenix from the ashes of Sugar Ray.


Eliza: After Brynn kicked me out of her nerd club, I had no choice but to eat my feelings which were covered in mochi and kiwi, just five gummi bears - red ones, one green, and some Butterfinger.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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If someone got Henry's full speech to his yogurt... that would be perfect for here (sorry I deleted my recording and am too lazy to skip through Hulu!)


"Looks like you Sir Boysenberry shall reign until the first of the month. Where as your days Lord Key Lime of Custard are numbered. You there, you sneaky greek bastard. Expired. You'll hang for your crime. I have to get out of the house." 

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Henry: "Any big plans this weekend?"


Eliza: "Yeah. Gonna try to bump into some celebrities. Maybe hit a gifting suite. Kick it with Karruche, Pitbull, binge drink until I'm white girl wasted, pop by this pop-up party, get my grind on, swing by In N' Out, kiss a hamburger, full make up, no filter. David Guetta."


I loved this show and will miss dialogue like this. It was great while it lasted. 

  • Love 1
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H: I'll tell you how I'm not.  Hearing impaired.  You're shouting.

E: Oh, sorry.  I was just doing Kegels to riff-raff.

H: Well, I wanted to let you know... are you still doing them?

E: (Looks at Henry without moving)

H: Don't.  Please stop doing them.

E: (Raises her eyebrows)


I hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.

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