Audrie and Daisy (2016)

[Wiendish Fitch]

I thought I'd start a topic dedicated to the 2016 Netflix documentary Audrie and Daisy, because it is an important film, and because yesterday Daisy Coleman committed suicide at the age of 23. 

 

Edited August 5, 2020 by Wiendish Fitch

[Spartan Girl]

Thank you for starting this thread. I didn't even know about this documentary until I heard about Daisy's suicide. 

Watching it now was way worse knowing that the bittersweet ending of Daisy joining that survivor's group and finding the strength to go on with her life wasn't to last. I can't imagine how her friends are feeling right now, especially Delaney.

What really stuck out was how Daisy said the nation didn't need to get involved in her case, because it gave that horrible town the excuse to go "How dare the media make us out to be a bunch of ignorant hicks!" And yet the second the charges against those assholes were dropped again, they had no problem practically driving the Colemans out of town.

I had about seven rage strokes listening to that sheriff. "Don't underestimate the need to attention...especially with young girls." FUCK YOU. My palms have fingernail marks from clenching my fists so hard.

Thank God for Daisy's older brother. Now there is a good man.

RIP Aubrie and Daisy.

[Wiendish Fitch]

1 hour ago, Spartan Girl said:

Thank you for starting this thread. I didn't even know about this documentary until I heard about Daisy's suicide. 

Watching it now was way worse knowing that the bittersweet ending of Daisy joining that survivor's group and finding the strength to go on with her life wasn't to last. I can't imagine how her friends are feeling right now, especially Delaney.

What really stuck out was how Daisy said the nation didn't need to get involved in her case, because it gave that horrible town the excuse to go "How dare the media make us out to be a bunch of ignorant hicks!" And yet the second the charges against those assholes were dropped again, they had no problem practically driving the Colemans out of town.

I had about seven rage strokes listening to that sheriff. "Don't underestimate the need to attention...especially with young girls." FUCK YOU. My palms have fingernail marks from clenching my fists so hard.

Thank God for Daisy's older brother. Now there is a good man.

RIP Aubrie and Daisy.

Yes to all of this.

Sheriff Darren White is an absolute piece of shit, as evidenced by this self-aggrandizing, victim-blaming, gaslighting letter he wrote to the Maryville Forum last year. 

Wow. Just. Fucking. Wow. How does one even start?

1. "When I saw the headline and then read the story, I had some mixed emotions, I of course felt angry that it has taken so long for someone to finally take some action. I also felt a bit of vindication and I couldn’t help but wonder if at least some of the people who were so quick to vilify not only me, but the entire community perhaps felt a bit foolish."

Oh, sure, I can tell you're absolutely torn up about it. Hey, asshole? Just because Melinda Coleman had legal troubles of her own, don't go dragging her daughter into this. Daisy wasn't responsible for her mother's mistakes, and she sure as fuck wasn't responsible for what happened to her that night that destroyed her life in 2012. Gleefully expressing schadenfreude is tacky, inappropriate, and reveals you as the dickhead that you are.

2. "Then as things were not already bad enough, the Colemans left town and their house mysteriously burned. If you listened to the Colemans and the national media, it was said that the community intentionally set the house on fire. I can only imagine the mob with pitchforks and torches marching to the house much like in one of the final scenes of Frankenstein.

Now that a little time has passed, let’s take a look at the truth (if you can handle the truth). On the Sunday morning that the Sheriff’s Office received the initial call, deputies and I responded without delay. Within four hours all of the suspects had been located and interviewed on videotape. All of the appropriate paperwork was submitted to the prosecuting attorney, arrest warrants were issued, and all of those people were arrested. All of the evidence was collected and sent to labs in St. Joseph and Kansas City. At this point it should be in the hands of the courts, but things are seldom as they seem.

As far as the fire goes, I don’t remember any mobs. I do remember trying to get the State Fire Marshall’s Office to investigate the fire. I personally found it strange that at the time of the fire, the Coleman family had abandoned the home. I also thought it odd that all of the kitchen cabinets and bathroom vanities were missing from the home. However, the fire marshall said it was too dangerous and no investigation was done. I’m not sure how many fires you have to have before it raises an eyebrow but apparently the magic number is around four."

They abandoned their home because the entire town had turned against them, kind of like, oh, I don't know, a mob?? Are you accusing them of burning the house down for insurance? On what evidence? Yeah, they weren't living there, but it was still technically their house, so whoever burned it down was definitely trying to send them a message, and not a very nice one, either. Maybe the whole community didn't do it, but someone from the community did! And I don't buy the claim that someone stole cabinets and vanities. Who would do that? Cabinets and vanities aren't something you can just slip in your pocket and walk off. Seems like way more trouble than it's worth. Also, "if you can handle the truth"? Oh, my God, you think A Few Good Men came out just last year, don't you?

3. "Am I the only one that finds it strange that the victim in this case was not allowed, (by her mother), to give a deposition? Isn’t it strange that Ms. Coleman then refused to allow her daughter to testify? I also wonder why Ms. Coleman found it necessary to hire not only one but four different lawyers to represent her? The prosecuting attorney represents the victim. It’s no surprise that the prosecutor made the decision to dismiss the charges. In our system of laws, you do have the right to face your accuser. Even after the case was given to a prosecutor out of Kansas City and a new investigation was conducted by the state it was determined that there was no case to pursue."

All right, this trickier, since I'm not a legal expert in any way. Maybe she didn't want her daughter to testify because she was a minor and was trying to protect her? If someone can add their two cents, it would be appreciated.

4. Re: On Audrie and Daisy "Oh, and as far as the movie goes, I’ve never seen it and I never will. I did not participate in it nor did I sign any releases. Any video of me was acquired without my knowledge." 

BULLSHIT.

I've seen the movie twice, and that is you! You are on camera! You are looking right at the camera! You're talking! You're visibly being interviewed! This isn't a hidden camera reality show! Sweet tap dancing Moses, if you're going to gaslight us, as least do a decent job of it! 

Edited August 6, 2020 by Wiendish Fitch

[Spartan Girl]

My actual face when reading that letter:

[Bastet]

12 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

I had about seven rage strokes listening to that sheriff.

I showed this film to a friend of mine several years ago, not long after I'd watched it for the first time (I wasn't sure I was up to marinating in it again so soon, but she didn't have Netflix and wanted to see it), and he'd barely appeared on screen when she turned to me and asked something along the lines of "I'm going to want to punch him in the face, aren't I?"

Oh, yeah.  That he was raising daughters made his horrifying attitudes all the more disgusting.  I flat-out hate that man.  And I hate even more he's just the one on camera; he's far from alone in his thinking, including among those sworn to protect victims.

I'm going to need some distance from Daisy's death to watch this again.  I remember an interview after it came out, in which Daisy talked about the difficulty in seeing her story combined with Audrie's knowing how easily her (and that of Paige, her best friend also raped that night) story could have had the same ending as Audrie's - indeed, both Daisy and Paige had already attempted suicide at least once in the interim.

As I said in the Documentaries thread, so many people are responsible for Daisy's (and Audrie's) deaths - desperate relief came via their own hands, but their numerous attackers (the rapists, those complicit in the rapes, those who passed it around as entertainment, and those who bullied them for saying "this isn't right") caused it - and I doubt any of them, especially that loathsome sheriff, feel any shame over it.

Legally, neither death was a homicide.  But, morally, they both were - rape and its resulting further misogynistic abuse can kill, immediately or days, weeks, months, or years later.  When suicide is the result of severe, chronic depression, we (well, far too few of us, but some of us) understand suicide as the manner of death but depression as the cause.  It's the same idea here - suicide was the manner their deaths, but the cause was what was done to them those two horrible nights and afterward.  But no one will ever answer for it - not legally, not by reputation, and likely not even in the form of personal demons.  It's rape culture at its most extreme.

So, as wonderful as I find this film, and encourage anyone who hasn't yet to watch it, I'll need some time before I can do so again.

[GreekGeek]

I watched this last night. So sad! I was hoping Daisy could have found a way to heal after graduating from high school and finding that support group. I wondered why Audrie's attackers had their identities protected while Daisy's were shown on camera.

Do we know what happened to Paige? Her story just seemed to be dropped.

[Bastet]

11 minutes ago, GreekGeek said:

Do we know what happened to Paige?

She was diagnosed with PTSD, and had severe panic attacks.  She attempted suicide twice.

At seventeen, she had a baby, and moved in with her boyfriend.  That was the last update I read.

[Spartan Girl]

Bumping up this thread for the worst reason: Daisy’s mom committed suicide just four months after Daisy.

My heart breaks for her sons. That family went through so much hell already.