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ElectricBoogaloo

Mysterious Quotes

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Bess: This is your salad fork, and this is your fork for your main course. Can I interest you in an amuse-bouche?

Ryan: Can you bring something to my wife? She's outside in the car. Uh, and make sure it doesn't have a bun, salt, sauce - basically anything that makes it taste remotely good.

Tiffany: This place isn't the Hamptons. No, it's not the Vineyard. Do you remember that town in Jaws? Yeah, it's like that, but with no shark. At least the shark made things exciting.

George: You had no problem talking about my sex life back in high school. 
Nancy: I never spread any of those rumors.
George: No. You just listened to your friends and smiled.

Nancy: Husband and wife - it's an intimate relationship. I mean, to start, were they even sharing a bed?
George: Well, if she liked her sex like she liked her fish that'd be dry and flavorless so I would say nope.
Ace: Mean. 
George: But relevant.

Nancy: Breaking and entering - just like riding a bike.

Nancy: So, George, you come from a long line of fishermen.
George: Also alcoholics and highly fertile teenage moms. 

George: That's a mariner's good luck charm. 
Nancy: Yeah, I looked it up online. There's not a lot of info.
George: Oh. So you're seeking my expert opinion? Like, I know more than you?
Nancy: In this limited area of ocean-themed jewelry, yes.

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McGinnis: So you're returning to your favorite past time of interfering in my work.

George: Post something on Yelp!
Nancy: What do you want us to post? "We promise our wait staff didn't murder anyone"?

Nancy: If we had someone, say, a forensic chemist who owed you for solving a perfume-related mystery for him in the ninth grade, he could perform the same kind of toxicology test.
Ace: That's a very specific hypothetical.

Nancy: We're not going to let a ghost story stop us from our one chance of gathering this evidence, so we're going to work together to break into the morgue tonight.
George: Who said WE were going to do anything?
Nancy: Well, as fellow suspects you should be highly incentivized to help me.

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Nancy: You're not afraid to eat here?
Karen: Our lab tested all the food from the Claw the night Tiffany died. No traces of poison anywhere.
Nancy: Great. I'll post about it on Yelp.

Karen: [Nick]'s got a criminal record. We got the protective order lifted and uncovered a motive.
Nancy: So when they say juvenile records are sealed, I guess they don't mean sealed-sealed.

Carson: Have you been self medicating?

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo

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On 10/24/2019 at 8:14 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Nancy: You're not afraid to eat here?
Karen: Our lab tested all the food from the Claw the night Tiffany died. No traces of poison anywhere.
Nancy: Great. I'll post about it on Yelp.

I'm enjoying the running theme of the Yelp reviews.

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Laura: Ace.
Ace: Oh! WOW! This is random!
Laura: Is it? Because you've been tailing me for the last two hours.
Ace: There's a lot of people that look me. You're probably mistaking me for someone else. I was just walking. Scones.
Laura: You're still doing the bumbling stoner thing, huh? Don't worry. It's still cute.

George's mom: You have to toast the bread. Otherwise it gets all soggy.

George's mom: When George was little, she'd pee on the floor and bite you to get your attention.

Carson: I have more important things to concern myself with like paying off medical debt and your bail.
Nancy: How convenient for you to have a daughter and a dead wife to blame your selling out on.

Nancy: You can tell a lot about a person by the way they act at a funeral.

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George's Mom: It was a two step ritual! How did you forget step 2?!

*

George's Mom: We banished Tiffany from the earthly realm. I'll go summon an Uber. 

Edited by bettername2come
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Ace: Ghosts are great for business. It's the murder that kills you.

George: Is this seriously the only bandaid size we have in the first aid kit? I cut my finger. I didn't impale myself on a window pane.

Ace: It's ironic - the restaurant that served Tiffany her last meal being hired to cater a gala in her honor.

Ace: Bad news - Tiffany doesn't like you. Good news - Tiffany's dead.

Victoria: The longer Tiffany's spirit is in George's body, the stronger she'll become. She'll regain her memories-
Nancy: Wait, including memories from the night that she died? Because if that's the case, I can ask her what happened.
Bess: No, that's pretty insensitive, don't you think?
Nancy: I'm trying to solve her murder. How is that insensitive?

Victoria: Drink [the tea].
Bess: Think of your yang.
George: I hate the way that sounds when you say it.

Victoria: Stress allows the spirit to come out. George needs to be relaxed.
George: You know what relaxes me? Money.

Owen: How creepy am I coming off?
Nancy: Only moderately.

Nick: Is this where you apologize for breaking into my place?
Laura: I have impulse control issues.
Ace: She means she's sorry. But she does have impulse control issues.

Nancy: So when you're not busy organizing parties and offering to help cater waiters you don't know and wearing fancy suits, you are in real estate.

Nancy: I thought you would have an electric shovel or something.
Owen: You mean an earth auger? What? That's the name for it.

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Bess: I asked her out so I guess it's up to me to book the restaurant, right? I mean, it's protocol.
George: It's a first date, Bess, not a parliamentary hearing.

Nick: Is Nancy here yet?
George: Right, like your girlfriend's going to ruin her perfect record of never being on time.

Nancy: What do we know about the Velvet Masque?
Nick: Is that a band?
George: No. It's the underground depraved pervy rich people's party for East Coast one percenters.

Nick: Speaking of shady rich people with questionable hobbies.

Nick: I've been following [Owen] around to see what I can find.
Nancy: What did you find?
Nick: That I don't really like following people around.

Owen: Nancy Drew, are you staking out my parking spot?
Nancy: Yes. Got to solve the mystery of how you keep your car so clean.
Owen: So what field are we digging up tonight?
Nancy: No digging, but I did have a couple questions. You and Ryan Hudson. Associates? Business partners? Mortal enemies?
Owen: I'd say all of the above. My turn. Is it possible these questions are coming from a certain mechanic? Good cheekbones, bad at following people around?
Nancy: They are very good cheekbones.
Owen: Is there another question?
Nancy: The Velvet Masque - urban legend or does it exist? And if it exists, where is it? Also, when?
Owen: That's more than one question. 
Nancy: And you didn't answer any of them.

Ryan: Let's just say that I owe money to people that you don't want to owe money to.
Nancy: You're a Hudson. Write a check.
Ryan: I can't. My father cut me off. He hit the roof when he found out about what happened at the fundraiser.
Nancy: You mean making out with your teenaged ex-girlfriend at a fundraiser to honor your dead wife?

Nancy: I kind of know how to break into places. 
Ryan: Yeah, right. What have you ever broken into?
Nancy voiceover: Your house, two weeks ago.

Ace: We should talk icebreakers. Here you want to be honest, but not aggressively so.
Bess: Okay, what does that mean? 
Ace: Maybe don't lead with the fact that you sometimes live in a van. Or your mild kleptomania.

George: I'm just trying to decide if you sending Nancy to Owen showed great confidence or great stupidity.
Nick: Oh, a little of you goes a long way.
George: Oh, I know. That's why I don't fish. Imagine me on a boat.

George: You're helping Ryan Hudson? 
Nancy: Just today. It's important. He thinks somebody's trying to kill him.
George: So go help that person, not the liar/crazy ex-boyfriend in your kitchen who may have killed someone.

Nancy: I made a deal with Ryan to get me into the Velvet Masque.
George: What if the bad thing that happened to [Lucy Sable] was Ryan?
Nick: What's he get out of this deal, huh? A date with an 18 year-old?

Nancy: Are we good?
Nick: Yeah. A hundred percent. 
George: A hundred percent? 
Nick: I rounded up.

Nancy: You took [Lucy Sable] to the Velvet Masque. What happened there? What happened afterwards?
Ryan: Look, all I know is that we had a summer fling, it ended, and then she went off the deep end, somebody murdered her. That's it, end of story.

Bess: I'll never smile again.
George: Bess, how would you like to get a new dress, go to an exclusive rich person's party, and maybe even get the chance to steal something? Hey! There's that smile.

George: First, we need to be less identifiable in a lineup. Let's grab some masks from that creepy sex room.

Celia: You cannot sell those coins. They have to stay in the family.
Ryan: Well, Everett should've thought about that before he kicked me out of the family.

Nancy: Please tell me you're not here to steal the coins.
Nick: We're here to steal the coins.

George: I went overboard disinfecting this mask. My eyes are burning.

Auctioneer: Our first offering: six and a half kilos of powdered South African rhino horn.
George: Gross AND illegal.

Bess: All failure aside, I forgot how exhilarating stealing is.

Owen: So after you all leave, the auction resumes. I win the coins, only to find out that my $1.5 million bought me a handful of quarters, one dime and six pennies.
Nancy: Maybe they're lucky pennies?

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Nancy: Denial - Smalltown USA's favorite pastime.

George: Get your hands off my chest.

Nancy: Celia was in Argentina when Lucy was killed.
Ace: Is that a solid alibi?
Nancy: Not for somebody who had the means to hire a hitman.

Nancy: Officer Rawley, it is my understand that a drunk and disorderly arrest requires clear and obvious signs of-
Rawley: Calm down, Nancy. My guys didn't arrest [Victoria].
Victoria: Only because you don't know how to do your job!
Rawley: She walked in here twenty minutes ago and fell asleep on that bench.
George: You're trying to get arrested?

Nancy: What do we know about the runner up?
Ace: Candice Weaver is her name..
Bess: Do we think she still lives in Horseshoe Bay?
George: All Sea Queen runner ups still live in Horseshoe Bay.

Nancy: What can you tell us about the moment of winning runner up?
George: Um, runner up isn't really winning.

Candice: I was merely telling [Lucy] there were rumors about how friendly she'd gotten with the judges and many other influential men.
George: You called her a slut.
Candice: Lucy always liked to party. Poor girl. She was always starved for attention.
George: Attention that you should have been getting?

Laura: After our parents died, Tiffany was put in charge of my inheritance until I turned 25. I wanted the money sooner so I sued her. It's what sisters do - rich sisters.

Bess: It's a face mask. I'm keeping Victoria sober.
Victoria: I can still see the dark terrifying forces descending on our town but at least my pores are unclogging.

Bess: I have been creating my vision board and I zillowed the perfect little cottage for me to move into when I'm ready.
Ace: Six bedrooms? That's very nice. Dibs on the guest house.

Nancy: We've been so focused on the Hudsons-
Bess: Because the look super guilty.

George: If only [Nancy] applied this work ethic to her actual work.

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Carson: I didn't kill anyone! Who do you think you're talking to? I'm not some kind of hit man.
Nancy: I have reason to suspect you.
Carson: You suspect everyone of everything.

McGinnis: You'll be calling in a lost soul and if we do this properly, we'll be transported to the outermost layer of the spirit realm.
George: Layers? Kind of like Dante? Hey, I paid attention in English class, okay?
McGinnis: Normally the outer layer of the spirit realm is quiet, but now-
Nancy: We clogged it with dead souls who came for the burial coins during our séance.
Carson: There are many things you and I need to discuss.
McGinnis: Can you fill this with water?
George: Sacred water?
McGinnis: Tap is just fine.

Lisbeth: there's no way I can stay under now. The Hudsons are already asking questions about me seeing you. And now that you all know.
Nick: We'll keep your secret.
Lisbeth: You have a criminal record, and she's got an arraignment pending. I'm not sure I'd trust you guys with a surprise party.

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McGinnis: Someone in this town has been tampering with the spirit world. We could stand here all day, or one of you can start talking. 
(LONG PAUSE)
Bess: Okay. Dead Lucy - (OTHERS GROAN) - was on Nancy's phone video. We went to a medium to see what she wanted, and then the medium freaked and vanished. 
George: Not like mystical vanished. She just, like, skipped town. 
Bess: Right. Then there was this '70s throwback lady who applied for a job during the Nor'Easter storm. 
George: She also might've been dead, not sure. 
Bess: But Tiffany Hudson's ghost definitely attacked me in a freezer right before she possessed George. 
Nick: And there was the antique coins that opened the door to a crowd full of spirits during the seance.
McGinnis: Seance? 
Nancy: Yeah. I conducted it with a crash course from Victoria. 
George: My mom's a clairvoyant. It's why she's a raging alcoholic. What does this have to do with Ace? 
McGinnis: You all have been reckless. This place is still cluttered with spirits, even worse than the hospital.

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Nancy: I let someone punch me in the face last night. It was a favor for a friend.

Owen: Believe it or not, when I first met [Gomber], he seemed like a decent guy. 
Nancy: Wait, you knew him?
Owen: Yeah, he came to my aunt's house at Thanksgiving once. I was visiting from college. 
Nancy: Gawd, you're old. 
Owen: Calm down. I was only a freshman.

Nancy: Moira wants something in return, some sort of reward from Simon. 
George: A reward? Like what? 
Nancy: It's a deal with the devil, so money or fame or her heart's greatest desire.
Nick: Yeah, she wants Gomber out of jail. Maybe that's her heart's desire. She could be in love with him.
Bess: Eww. People need to have higher standards.

Carson: You realize this look says cat burglar.
Nancy: Do I criticize your weekend sweater-vests?
Carson: Commentary rescinded.

Carson: [Gomber] was mentally unwell. What makes you think that there was a supernatural presence involved?
Nancy: What makes you think that there wasn't? Look. This was clearly a ritual.
Carson: Superstitions and rituals are all evidence of human behaviors, not proof of something inhuman.

George: I'm looking for an eight-year-old girl with glasses. What you just described to me is a 25-year-old man. Why don't you go get your eyes checked instead of offering me inaccurate tips?
Nick: But we appreciate your willingness to help.

Carson: You actually believe this ritual is real?
Nancy: Well, lately I've found belief to be a time saver.

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Nancy: Either Dead Lucy really wants me to check out what's in here or she's got some pretty strong opinions about my love life.

Carson: Please - let this go.
Nancy: You know me better than that.

Nancy: Mr. Hudson, you need to help my father.
Everett: I have no idea what you're talking about, though I admire your allergy to pleasantries.

Bess: I stole those. Yeah, when I get anxious, I get klepto. Oh, don't arrest me.
Lisbeth: For what? Definitely did not just hear you admit to petty theft.

Bess: I actually keep a running tab on the Marvins at all times. Not in a stalker way. I had to know exactly where they were in order to avoid them before I could present myself. Yeah, I'm, like, a reverse stalker. 
Nancy: When it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent, I am somewhat of a repeat offender.

Owen: Bess, I thought you'd be getting ready - for lunch with Diana. 
Bess: No. I have exactly one hour, six minutes and fifty two seconds. And I'm British, by the way.

Diana: You can help with the family business, too. Mergers and acquisitions.
Bess: I do like buying things.

Nick: I've I've made mistakes in my life. And the guilt has been so big that I thought it would crush me. That shame doesn't make things better. It just stops you from moving forward.

Ryan: If he wants dirt on Owen, he's got professionals. Why does he call a college dropout?
Nancy: I didn't drop out. I never applied. It's different.

Everett: Thanks for accepting our invitation. It's been too long.
Diana: Has it? And I was thinking it could have been a little bit longer.
Ryan: Oh, man, I wish I still drank.

Everett: You don't think your family has skeletons? Ask your aunt about Mirror Bay. Make no mistake, if you come after us, any destruction will be mutually assured.
Diana: If you're done threatening my nephew, Everett, can you pass the salt? My soup is a bit bland.

Celia: Are you accusing us of murdering 12 people for insurance money?
Diana: Her shocked and offended face. She's been honing it for decades.
Celia: Please. The payout would have been pennies compared to what we would have made had Sebastian lived. His death set back both our companies. Billion-dollar deals fell apart.
Diana: Maybe it was less about business and more about Everett wanting to kill Sebastian for diddling you, Celia.
Ryan: Mother? 
Bess: Oh, my goodness.

Ryan: Wait, hold up, hold up. You're a cop? 
Owen: I think it's called a sting, Ryan.

Owen: Is this about Nick?
Nancy: It's not always about a guy.

Nick: Our party was a hit. You and I make a great team.
George: Well, I did most of the work.

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Nancy: Hi, Josh. Uh, I know that my father is in prison for murdering your sister, but I wanted to talk to you about your mother and ask whether or not she may have had homicidal feelings towards Lucy.

Nancy: They just started doing renovations last week so we have two options.
Nick: Air vents or the sewers?
Nancy: Up or down. Your choice.
George: Gross. Okay, be honest - did you go with sewers as a shout out to Jean Valjean?
Nick: Not all my decisions are inspired by French novels, okay? I'd just rather keep my feet on the ground is all.

Nancy: George, you're with me.
George: Great. What's the plan? Please don't say I'm the distraction.
Nancy: You're the distraction.
George: How did you ever have a solo career?

Maître d': Excuse me, sir. Do you have a reservation?
Ace: I have many, but I'm here anyways because I saw Ryan Hudson's car parked out front.

Ace: Did your dad order a jailhouse hit on Carson Drew?
Ryan: My father wouldn't do anything like that.
Ace: Your dad sank his own ship and killed the entire crew. More recently, he had me and my girlfriend run off the road.

Amaya: Nice meeting you.
Bess: Wait, that's it?
Amaya: Unless you want me to dumb down the epic deal I just negotiated.
Bess: I don't need you to bitchsplain the stock market to me.

Carson: Let me get this straight.
Ace: Let's not say it out loud.
Carson: You hacked into the Department of Corrections database, ordered my official transfer to the state prison, impersonated an officer of the law, stole a van-
Ace: Changed lanes without signaling. That one just happened just now.
Carson: And broke me out of prison. I am a prison escapee right now.
Ace: Technically, yes.

Carson: So what's this plan that you have?
Ace: Step one was get you out of immediate danger. Step two is get you someplace safe. Step three is to get proof that your life is in danger. Then we can ask a judge to do something about it.
Carson: This is Route 1. Please tell me you're not just taking me to my house.
Ace: Where would you like to pretend that I'm taking you?

Ace: Your axe is huge, dude.
Carson: My axe? Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Slow down. 
Ace: I'm going to chop off your cuffs. Come on. I went to archery camp. I got great aim.

Amaya: If you say anything with enough authority, people will believe it.

Sal: You saw Mr. Roeper.
Nancy: Who's Mr. Roeper?
Me: The guy from Three's Company?

Sal: Back in the 1870s, the East Wing of Larkspur Lane was the Roeper mansion. One morning, the milkman found the parents and their three kids lying side by side in this one dark room - the Whisper Box. They'd all died overnight, with smiles on their faces. Authorities couldn't figure out the cause. The townspeople started saying there was something evil that kept coming from that room. Up until about three weeks ago, the Whisper Box was just the place where they stashed the Roepers' old possessions, but when the hauntings started happening, it's where the cockroaches and mold came from. I believe it's the source of the haunting.
George: This is a terrible hospital.

Bess: Do all the rich and powerful people just know each other?
Amaya: Yes. We're all on a text chain.

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George: Damn, having coffee with Nickerson? I thought college was supposed to make you smarter.

Nancy: The Claw does not have patrons, and since when do you and I hug? 
George: Since ninth grade.
Nancy: Since when do you enjoy living in a van? And since when do you-? You're the same - never mind.

Nancy: You and I-
Nick: No, we have never met before.
Nancy: If we've never met, then how do I know about your football injury? Or your manslaughter conviction? Or the $5 million in bearer bonds that Tiffany Hudson gave you? How do I know about that little, you know, bean shaped scar that's under your-
Nick: Oh.

Nancy: Everyone here is perfect and happy and there's no murder and no ghosts and my mom is still alive and you all like me.

Nick: Hey, what took you so long?
Ace: There's no directory for mysterious priests in Horseshoe Bay.

Ace: That is top of the line holy water.

Nancy: This is ridiculous. You know what we need?
Nick: The key?
Nancy: Yeah. Who sold you this shoddy house with one completely impregnable door?
Nick: Ryan Hudson. Terrific guy.
Nancy: Of course. Yeah, okay, let's go meet fake Ryan Hudson.

Ryan: Thinking we'll put a swing set right here. Kids love swing sets.

Nick: Ryan Hudson left us three clues - a sweet angel, farmer's wife, and devoted grandparents. 
Bess: eBay usernames. 
Ace: Country music lyrics. 
Bess: Rejected names of drinks. 
Ace: Wrestling moves.
Bess: Strippers.

Nancy: Thanks for showing up. You guys are really nice figments of my imagination.
Ace: As long as we eventually get to sample whatever you've been on this whole time, I'm in.

Bess: You cannot beat supernatural with science.
George: So what's it going to be? The medicine or the metaphysics?

Bess: What were we like? What was I like?
Nancy: Um, Instagram influencer. And George was a big hugger. Incredibly nice to me.
George: That's weird and gross.

Nick: Who knew owning a restaurant would require actual work?

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Bess: Lucy's mom said she worked here. She let herself in with the spare key. Guess they haven't changed that hiding spot since the 90s.

Bess: You look amazing.
Laura: I AM amazing!

George: This is a restaurant and you're turning it into murdertown.

Laura: No, no, no. This is not part of my plan. I'm loop closing, not loop opening.

Laura: You don't have to stay here, Ace. Think about Paris. It'll be so romantic.
Nancy: Hey, you know what is so romantic? Solving a homicide together. With me!

Nancy: Where's Chief McGinnis?
Laura: I need to tell him that I forgive him for being incompetent.
Karen: He's in a deposition all day. More prep for Carson Drew's evidentiary hearing. Can I help you with something?
Nancy: I think you've helped enough, Karen.
Karen: If this is about your father, you put together that evidence. I was simply doing my job.
Nancy: Oh, your job? You mean invading my privacy and stealing my journal and now my dad's going to go to jail for something he didn't do. Because I think I'm doing your job, Karen. I'm trying to find out who actually killed Lucy.

Ace: I'm not going to the library.
Nancy: What? Why?
Ace: I have enemies there.

Ace: Mr. and Mrs. Neff, good to see you. They're regulars.
Nancy: And you, as a character in a Victorian novel, spend all of your free time in the library.

Dominique: You're lucky we store all of security footage for a year.
Ace: Actually, my mom implemented that policy on my suggestion. The first season of Serial really shook me.

Ace: I like to be accurate.
Dominique: Unless it's a capture the flag competition.
Ace: You cheated, Dominique.
Dominique: It's hacking, Ace. There's no cheating in hacking.

George: I can't believe Nick has us doing this. I mean, it's not even an innovative idea. Coupons in the mail? What is this? 2003?

Ace: What does that look like to you?
Nancy: Blurry figure wearing a shirt - camouflage pattern.
George: Or a smudge.

Bess: So what's the plan?
Nancy: We get Ryan to the Claw and figure out exactly how he had Tiffany poisoned.
George: And how exactly do we get Ryan to the Claw?
Nick: Yeah, he's not just going to stroll in so we can accuse him of murder - again.

Ryan: What?
Ace: Nothing. You seem super innocent.

Karen: He admitted to poisoning Tiffany. Did he say anything else?
Nancy: No, he was too busy trying to bash my head in with a pipe wrench.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Carson: Nancy, you almost died last night.
Nancy: Almost dying is my new normal.

Nick: How did Josh even get his hands on some rare poison?
George: Well, serial killer Claire was our only local baneberry poisoner, right? Maybe they were in, like, a book club together or something.

Bess: Happy Harbor Day, my fellow Horseshoe Bay-ans. Horseshoe Bayites? Bayfolk?
Ace: Trying to get traction on Baygles. Horseshoe Baygles.

George: Girl, what is on your head?
Bess: This belonged to my great-great-great lots of great grandfather, Douglas Marvin. I borrowed it from Aunt Diana.
George: If they don't know you're borrowing, it's called stealing, Bess.

Ace: Urban legend says that one day a year on Harbor Day, you can look into the mirror, and you can ask the Aglaeca for something. One time I asked him for a PS3. I didn't get the PS3. But I asked for it. 
George: Yeah, same. I asked for tons of stuff in high school and I got none of them. Silver lining: my eyes didn't bleed which supposedly happens when you get your wish. 
Nancy: Are we talking about the Aglaeca? Yeah, that's a load of crap. I'm still waiting for my hoverboard scooter and my first edition copy of All The President's Men.

George: I'm just going to chill here with Bess and her ridiculous stolen hat.

Owen: Is [Nancy] okay? Who let her go confront a murderer by herself?
Bess: Who let her? Owen, have you met Nancy? And, you know, technically, she didn't know he was a murderer at the time.

Owen: I can rely on you to be discreet?
Chad: Bro. Totally.

Nancy: I've been having visions, and I think Lucy wants me to find her bones.
George: I'm sorry, what, now?
Nancy: Yeah, and that's not all. In the last vision, her eyes were bleeding.
Bess: Wait, like when you call to the Aglaeca?
Nancy: I think so.
George: Okay, so now you believe in all this crap?
Nancy: Out of pure necessity alone.

Bess: Okay, so we call to the Aglaeca.
Owen: Is this, like, a normal thing for you guys?
Bess: But today is the only day we can do it, right, George?
George: Yeah, but it never works. Need I remind you guys, I got a D in French? My call was not answered.
Bess: Yeah, but maybe you didn't know how to do it? Okay, we need a primary source.
George: What, is there a section in the local library with firsthand accounts of evil spirits that haunt the ocean, Bess?

Bess: It's not like we have any customers today. You know, with a murderer on the loose and all.
George: Surprise - fugitives and manhunts are kind of bad for business.

Nancy: You don't have to take AP Chem to know that in a glass container, the meniscus of a liquid containing poison like baneberry curves downward, but this meniscus curves upward because it's just water, right?

Karen: Ryan is untouchable. He's had people cleaning up his messes his entire life. And I know the system favors the privileged but the Hudson family are on a whole other level.
Nancy: So you thought that Ryan deserved to die because you were tired of how the world works?

Ace's dad: I can't tell if drinking fake poison was brave or incredibly stupid.

George: Typical. 300 pages about men and women get 2 pages in the back.

George: Are you guys sure that you want to do this? We've reached out to spirits in the past and the results have always been very mixed.
Bess: I promise to not let you get possessed again.
George: I feel so relieved.

George: Hey, who wants to hear a creepy nursery rhyme?

George: Prick your finger and let your blood drop into the ocean.
Bess: Ugh, this is so unsanitary.

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Nick: Thanks for coming all this way.
John: Well, it beats sneaking illegal human bones into my lab.

John: What makes you think the remains of a girl who died twenty years ago suddenly just appeared?
Bess: We performed a mystical ritual asking an evil spirit for them.
John: Got it. You don't want to tell me. I probably don't want to know. I assum you kept these bones in a sanitary sterile environment as per basic scientific guidelines.
[Ace opens a Hanukkah box]

Abe: Detective Abe Tamura. This is the part where you invite me in.
George: Is he a vampire?

Nick: So many health code violations.

McGinnis: Try not to break any more federal laws.

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