ciarra

Guess Anna won't be getting it on with agent Sloan. It's sad, because Sloan is the only guy since Robert that Anna doesn't need to throw a sheet over his head before she beds him. Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout you Luke and Duke.

My mom wants to know when the entire cast of characters will be in jail.

Jason/Jake Morgan -- still a baby whisperer. Volunteering at GH in the pediatrics ward in his spare time. I'm sure most hospitals would allow anyone to come in without a background check -- extra tricky with an amnesia victim -- and hang out with the kids. They must have the "Pedophiles Welcome" sign out. The stupid...it burns.

The next person who announces, "Ava killed Connie Falconeri", I want the person's response to be, "Who?". Bonus points if the person saying "Who?" is Olivia.

Neenah and Aaava -- both on the lam, yet they have a larger, more stylish wardrobe than I.

Michael will be over it in a week. Franco is stupid for not marrying Carly and taking half of everything she owns.

Spencer -- the new Johnny. Suddenly the little punk knows all crucial information -- Luke's a baddie, Franco was trying to hack Carly's e-mail. He's a little plot device. It's too bad he doesn't see dead people, particularly Sonny, Carly, Kiki, Franco, Neeenah...

If she's seeing Sonny, she must be in hell.

I'm more confused about how she got that dye job. They must have hairdressers in hell.

Since there's already an Emily Bowen Quartermaine free clinic, why doesn't Michael honor AJ with an addictions treatment center instead? Remind me if I'm ever in trouble not to send Kiki for help. Kiki, "Must.get.help. Squirrel! Now what was I doing? I forget."

Has Donna Mills always spoken her lines like her jaws are wired shut?

Because she's wimmen? Her only value is having a working uterus. Besides, who would witness her shrieks and belly-clutching if she were on the beach in Hawaii?

Remember the old days, when Frisco used to turn his baseball cap backwards as a disguise?

How many more months are we going to get Ava screaming and clutching her belly? Man this gets old.

Sam's sleepwear is indistinguishable from her day wear. And what's the point of putting on a robe if she's going to leave her ta-tas hanging out anyway?

To give Neener a baby?

Evil eye? What Carly needs is a necklace to ward off the evil peen. Sonny's.

Michael looks too "kiddish" to me to be smokin' hot sexy. He looks like the younger brother, not the older one. Kiki and her Garanimals sleepwear makes their sex scenes look even more ridiculous.

Won't Lizzie notice the bullet holes scars and figure out that John Doe is her beloved?

Isn't it nice that Ron can get out and go and watch "Othello" in the park, and then inflict it on us? Carly "Desdemona" Jax really is screwing around, though. Let's hope that Ron stayed until the end of the play. Franco: "Have you said your prayers tonight, Carly?"

Franco's birthday present the other day? Carly. Every man in town has unwrapped that.

I was hoping that Sobby would be successful with her turn to the dark side, and we'd be rid of her quickly, like the "angel of death" story that what's-her-name (Roy's nurse girlfriend, Melissa?) got. But I think with the hour it took for Ava to not take the pill, Sobby will not cause AvaSpawn's death and we'll be stuck with Sobby forever. And we'll be stuck with Sobby's endless guilt.

Because Stavros is so obsessed with the LuLembryo, does it mean that, due to the freezing his swimmers are dead, and it's his last chance a procreation? They should have color codes like Homeland Security that tell how much second-hand embarrassment I'm going to experience for the actors on this show. I think they're going beyond "red" with this crap.

Aren't the Cassadines rich enough to provide Maxie and Lulu with a new set of clothing? Lulu needs to burn those black leggings -- she's thin but they are not doing her any favors. And my compliments on the size of all the hostages' bladders. They never have to pee.

I feel sorry for the kids who are hanging around while their moms watch this show. They're going to think that babies come from Thermoses.