Lantern7
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Posts posted by Lantern7
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I'm still on the Dave/Conner train, ride or die. I think that Dave complaining about dissing a "60-year-old" man was tongue-in-cheek, though I know the other stuff from him is harder to defend. On one side, you have a pair of cancer survivors who -- at minimum -- would have contended for the $1 million had one of them hadn't pulled up lame. On the other side, you have a stuntcast team from a show that is inferior to The Amazing Race, and one of them thinks they're an unstoppable team with God. I can't break with my view. I just can't.
I'm sad to see the Globetrotters go, but they could've raced a lot smarter. I kept waiting for the judge to scream, "IT'S THE BOX! YOU PUT THE BOX ON THE DONKEY'S BACK!! MAMMA FRIGGIN' MIA!!!"
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I say it was. At one point, they were showing what happens after a contestant (in this case, Dustin) is eliminated. He winds up going under the house, where his stuff is packed. After staying at a hotel, he goes home. It's more interesting than I make it sound.
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I don't think anyone put a gun to J-Mo's head. He's hosted three Challenges . . . maybe he wants the After Show because it's just his speed. That's a shame, since even at his most stoned-looking, he still made for a better host that Teege.
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I was genuinely surprised by The After Show. We had Jonny Moseley hosting, a guy who should be in TJ's place. We had no studio audience with the average IQ of dirt. We got to see more hook-ups and fights. We had Susie doing commentary . . . which blows, since a. she's a bitch, and b. she hasn't been on a Challenge since The Ruins. I'm dreading seeing Kenny and/or Evan again. Still, I think The After Show didn't blow, which was nice.
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No wonder Frank wants to quit the Challenges . . . Lady Luck fucking hates him. I laughed out loud when he had to draw the kill card, even when I realized that previews gave it away that he'd survived. Poor Dustin . . . I know I shouldn't feel bad for him, but he's way better than Frank could ever hope to be. I'm pissed off that newcomers to the show will think Frank as unfortunate. No, he's going into Elimination because Karma has been waiting for him for some time.
Camila/Nany . . . okay, how did this fight spill out of CT paying for drinks? It's so hard for me to keep track of the fights. I can imagine Big Easy sitting at home, wondering why he's the bad guy for quitting on Camila, when it's plain to see that she's a psycho hose beast. I think she's the one that was berating CT for no real reason. Bitch crazy, y'all.
Mission . . . usual amount of nonsense from BMP, though the bikes were a nice touch. Of course Frank would pick Nia. And, of course, few guys would know how to drive stick. Then again, when has that ever come up in any season? It's not like The Amazing Race where it's a prerequisite. And thinking about it . . . dunno why none of the women stepped up and drove. Something to ask them online.
Elimination . . . Emilee who? All I know is that she just flunked out of her second Challenge with only three missions under her belt, so maybe this isn't her thing. Once again, I feel bad for Dustin, because he's a better man than Frank. And it looks like Frank is going to lose it over the phone next week. Thinking about it, though, don't the kids have cell phone access in case of emergencies? I'd hate to rip on Frank if something legit awful happens, even though he does deserve to be kicked in the balls about twenty times.
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If you're interested, Amy is going on a "Back Door Tour" this year. And it turns out she'll be ending it where I live, so now I'm tempted to get tickets to see her again.
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Tony can take a lesson on how to celebrate from Spencer . . . at least try to keep it quiet. And I never got the appeal of LJ, so things weren't distressing for me this week. We might get an interesting ending this season, even if Tony pounds his meat on a regular basis and gets the Tyler Perry Diary Of A Mad Idol in the next few episodes.
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I forget . . . why is Theresa barf-worthy?
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When an episode is slated to run for ninety minutes, and the ensuing repeat runs for 60, that can mean one thing: a behind-the-scenes peek into The Challenge with The After Show.
To be honest, I'm usually down on the idea of an "After Show." For one thing, I'm usually watching The Daily Show at 11 p.m. For another, we tend to get overwhelmed with the input of the Challengers, as the drama spills over from the show. Call me old-fashioned, but I liked it before when all we'd get was reunion after the season ended. I'll tune in this Thursday because TDS is in repeats, but I'll probably DVR the After Show and watch it at my own leisure.
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One upside that didn't happen in the movie and last week: somebody did the "Hail, Hydra!" double-armed salute. Come on, that shit is hysterical as hell. It's like the "Heil Hitler" salute wasn't good enough with one arm, and Hydra wanted to supersize it.
I dig Garret as the bad guy, because he's more entertaining than the good guys most of the time. Ward as Hydra also works . . . and I just realized why him not liking the Patriots is funny. Now . . . Adrian Pasdar with a pencil mustache? That's going to take getting used to . . . not to mention I have to accept that Talbot's death in Hulk is now officially non-canon, even though I consider that movie way better than The Incredible Hulk. Also: imagining Peter Petrelli needing an airplane to fly.
Patton Oswalt as the Desmond of SHIELD? Sure . . . why not? Only way he could be funnier is if his character is a fan of KFC's dinner bowls.
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Good episode. I don't have trouble with Time-Warner, but I loved Amy's angry phone face. And now I have "Hello M'lady" in my head in case I get too gaga over a woman. Thanks, Amy!
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Thanks. All I can remember is Jodi trying to de-mummy herself and falling down. Then, after Veronica won, Rachel's bleating, "AND YOU PICKED HER!" followed by Dan jeering, "Karma's a bitch!" I think that was the ugliest part of the season . . . and I wasn't even a fan of Jodi. Or maybe the ugliest part was after the Karamo/Landon Inferno, when Abram went on and on about how Karamo had no dignity . . . and I'm all, "Bitch, have you LOOKED in a mirror lately?!?"
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Lucky you. I can still hear Beth cackling anytime I think of this season. And I forgot about Aneesa's little outburst, which I did indeed wrote about. Now I got Aneesa yelling in my head, and Timmy's behind her and making fun of her. Once again: I miss Timmy.
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Bella . . . they're the only team that hasn't finished in the back of the pack. I'd say they're due to finish in the top 3, if not winning the race outright.
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I don't get the hate for these two. I haven't found Dave to be offensive with his tongue-in-cheek comments, and I like Conner just fine. It's not like they beat off like the Afghanimals after succeeding in tasks, and they haven't overstayed their welcomes like other teams. I know it's a matter of perspective, but it bugs me.
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Like I said, I'm mostly mad because Chet might have been able to beat Frank, and Frank getting eliminated first would've been awesome. Every time he opens his trap, he sets LGBT rights back about fifty years.
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Ending left a bad taste in my mouth. Teams need to figure out answers on their own, not mooch off others. And I would think the Globetrotters would be worldly enough to know Roman numerals. Sucked that Jessica & John got eliminated, mostly because Jessica looked like she had a great time out there. John's probably husband material . . . but as a Racer? Average at best. Thankfully, Phil didn't go "oy vey" again . . . once again, that's never not funny. Even when you don't hear it, watching Phil throw out his arms kills me.
I don't need to see Brendan & Rachel win another leg. Man, they suck. I'm still pulling for Dave & Conner, even if they did give the Country Girls second place. They've raced well for most of the show . . . why shouldn't they win? I'm amazed Dave went for a hard-running Roadblock, especially with his son ranking on him about his Achilles.
Chariot race was a bit of a joke. I know that having Racers engaged in actual chariots would've been a nightmare, but R/C cars? BTW, if they had the Gnomes behind the "horses," they would've been breaking every five minutes. Travelocity would have a conniption. Now, the gladiators? Hard. Core. And it's nice to see that they are some folks that the Afghanimals won't hug afterward.
Next week: donkeys!
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I had a weekend ticket to Asbury Park Comicon. Because I was exhausted today and the travel time, I wound up eating today's admission price. It's not a bad con, but there is so little parking. Once you find a spot, you have to pay a meter. I wound up paying $10 for the whole day, because I didn't know how long I'd be there.
I didn't get to hit any panels, but I did wind up getting four sketches:
I think my next "event" is going to be in conjunction with Free Comic Book Day. There's a place in NJ that I sometimes hit, but there might be activity closer to home. That happens on May 3, in less than three weeks.
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Wait . . . so Japanese Chins don't typically go into neurotic spins? I thought that was oddly cute.
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Actually, IIRC, Dustin did gay-for-pay porn before his stint in Vegas.
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Gauntlet 2 was the last season I recapped in full. Why did I stop? Because it was a hot mess Because it became a one-sided affair. And because of fucking Beth . . . or, as Timmy called her, "Bad Beth & Beyond." Seriously, you guys, I miss Timmy.
The Gauntlet format got tweaked . . . each team had male and female captains, with the losing team's captain being forced to face one of his/her own teammates in the Gauntlet. It was a kinky premise, but it would doom Derrick into fighting five times in total. The teams were separated into "Veterans" (those who had competed in two or more Challenges) and "Rookies" (one Challenge or fewer). For some reason, Jamie Murray was put in with the Rookies, even though he competed in (and won) Extreme Challenge and Battle of the Sexes. The Rookies probably didn't need him, as they won ten of 16 missions en route to winning the season.
Derrick became the poster boy of this Challenge, as he was sent into the Gauntlet by his teammates, and he wound up beating Adam Larson, who had been the ringleader of the anti-Sarah faction in the original Gauntlet. As his team underachieved, Derrick was forced to battle for his life, taking out Ace, Syrus and Brad. What most people take away, however, was how he murdered an innocent table. The Veterans couldn't decide whether to send in David or Timmy into the Gauntlet, and an exasperated Derrick took it out on the table, kicking the legs out before stomping it to death. In the end, Timmy halted Derrick's streak at four, taking the wee Challenger out of the game before the finale.
Derrick's struggles were compounded by the uselessness of Beth, who weighed down her team like an albatross. She was able to stay in the game by beating captain Ruthie, using her girth to drag Ruthie to defeat in Reverse Tug-Of-War. She would later dispatch Montana in the same game, giggling and cackling at the defeat of one of her biggest critics. However, when Aneesa got a chance to play Beach Brawl, Beth turned yellow and quit the game, sparing herself some probably scraps in the process.
This was also the first season host by BMX biker TJ Lavin. Personally, I think that he's turned into a poor man's Jeff Probst over the years . . . which is weird, since Jeff Probst has turned out to be a poor man's Jeff Probst. My least fave moment came in the reunion, when we found out that he had called Syrus "motherfucker," which set the usually jovial contestant off. Teege hasn't done much to dissuade me from that impression.
What else . . . there's the Mark/Robin drama, with Mark uppercutting the bus from inside; Alton's awesomeness that season, culminating with making Danny his bitch in the Gauntlet; Julie actually behaving in her final Challenge appearance; and the clusterfuck that was the final mission. You can read about the season here. Maybe you'll understand why I didn't move onto Fresh Meat afterward.
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I forgot about that, NichD. Remember Tonya sticking rocks in her mouth to warm them up? Or the guy-on-guy-on-guy sawing? Then there was Veronica going "Blow and suck! Blow and suck! Use your hands!!" in an interview. I'm amazed my TV didn't explode from the raw sexuality of it all. And if you really want to feel old, that was Aneesa's second season out of ten.
ETA: Apparently, you can only edit your posts after a certain period of time. I found that out because I goofed on Ayanna's quote . . . it was "I SLEPT IN MY UNIFORM LAST NIGHT BECAUSE I WANTED TO WIN TODAY!!!" Man, she ate a lot of crazy wafers, didn't she?
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I met Challenge fan Bill Simmons at a signing for The Book Of Basketball. I suggested that Inferno II was the last great Challenge season, and he agreed with me. Granted, I think he could only talk with me for so long, but I'd like to think I'm right about this.
Inferno II divided players into "Good Guys" and "Bad Asses." The system was kinda flawed, given how pains in the ass like Shovonda and Julie were considered to be "good." And, for a short while, the forces of badness seemed to be winning out. One painful example came when the Good Guys chose Veronica to be in the Inferno, utilizing some stratagem I can't be bothered to remember. The Bad Asses took it out on Jodi, who was blamed for coming up with the plan. In the end, Jodi lost the Inferno, and the Bad Asses jeered her to the point where a. I would turn on Dan Renzi from that moment on, and b. I wouldn't have been surprised if they dumped pig's blood on her. Then you had Veronica jumping into Rachel's brawny arms and wrapping her legs around her, which . . . ick. If you dismiss Karamo throwing an Inferno on his own and Beth leaving, the Bad Asses lost only once in the Inferno (when Dan got beat).
But a funny thing happened . . . as the Good Guys' numbers dwindled, they started winning more missions. In the end, they were reduced to four players: Mike (in what would be his finale), Darrell (about to win his third out of a record four Challenges), Landon (a rookie about to win his first of three) and Jamie (in her sole Challenge before going into film). In the final mission, the Good Guys helped each other in the long run, while the heinous bitches on the other side (Rachel, Veronica, Tina) disparaged Tonya the entire way. From what I understand, Tonya went out partying the night before the final mission. I'd like to think that the Bad Asses would've won if they bothered to treat her like a human being. She took out Julie and Shavonda . . . that alone deserves some respect.
What do I take away from this season? I remember Jon getting taken out in the first Inferno, leading to one of Beth's few sincere moments (as well as a crying jag from Julie). I remember Tonya dumping Beth's clothes in the pool, which lead to the bloated one fleeing. I remember Julie sabotaging her team's chances by trying to ride a mini bike over a narrow path, muttering "The road to God is straight and narrow" while her teammates screamed for her to stop. I remember Veronica being unable to handle crabs, which still strikes me as funny. And I remember Brad and Abram's intense Inferno, followed by a victorious Abram all but challenging Darrell to a fistfight. Remember that? "Send me tonight, you little poodle!" Good times . . . unless you were Brad.
What do you take away from Inferno II? To help jog your memories, I'd like to share my recaps from back then, going from the preview special to the finale. For instance, I was just reminded about how Mike gave Brad a wedgie, and Brad calling Mike a "meathead" in an interview. "NOW IT'S A NECKLACE!!" Good times . . . unless, once again, you were Brad.
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Funny you should ask . . . rat terrier puppies will be featured on tomorrow night's episode. We're still waiting on Min Pins, though.
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S24.E08: Donkeylicious
in The Amazing Race
Tukahar . . . maddening, right? It feels like it goes against logic, but that's how it's always been . . . if you get U-Turned, you can do the same to another team.
I'm rooting for a sausage fest finale. I can root for the Cowboys and Afghanimals, and I don't see how Dave & Conner are total assholes (though I do see the cracks) . . . but I can't pull for moochers like the Country Girls, and I don't want a Big Brother-spawned team winning.