HamsterOfDoom

Of course.

Another rather sad rendering, this one suffers from my tools as well as my inability to draw well. She's SUPPOSED to be screaming "XINU PROTECT ME!" and other such screeches, and I thought of ways to include lots and lots of scenery with various toothmarks, but... I'm sorry, I can't get it from my brain to the drawing surface. I ain't no artist. Oh yeah, I forgot: guess who THIS is supposed to be. AND for all you people with dirty minds, that's SALIVA bouncing off of her tongue! Get your minds out of the gutter, even if she'd be unlikely to do the same.

GT as Phyllis, my poorly-rendered version... Note that there are details that didn't make it across because I'm not much of an artist. She's wearing a dress. A Charlie-Brown-themed long dress... that doesn't quite reach her navel, so her frilly underwear is on display for all to see. And she's wearing boots with that dress... strapped over the claws on her feet. And yes, I know, she has six fingers on each hand. And she's saying "cawl me Red," despite her famous reddish tresses having, like, no red whatsoever any more. Now we gotta see if I can get the visuals of MS as Phyllis into some semblance of comprehensibility...

paigow: thanks. I just glanced at the television and saw "Mossad," wasn't sure what the association was.

txhorns79: He should have responded with "In the dining room, with the candlestick."

First time poster on this show. I was really unhappy with this episode. I mean, it had some truly stupid moments, I guess: Atwood, Hannah being traced so easily, the DNA drama, the rah-rah election stuff - which was probably the easiest to believe - but... I am sick and tired of the stakes being so high. We have a lot of shows lately where some shadow organization is somehow able to effectively threaten the governmental infrastructure of the United States. Sure, we have problems and all, but SERIOUSLY - Al Qaeda was the most successful organization at attacking us that we've seen, and their effectiveness as an organization died in that moment. They took down two countries when they fell, too - whether you agreed with that response or not, it's what happened, and one of those countries *was* an ally. Their "effectiveness" had to morph into an entirely different set of splinter organizations in order to survive. When your attack mode ends up with you dying and taking out your friends with you, you kinda suck... and if you persist in that kind of attack, you not only suck, but you're STUPID. Eliminating the government (as they did) isn't a long game - it's a dying gasp, because if you DON'T have moles in place (like McLeish) you are truly and royally screwed (because the survivors/replacements will hound you until you die ignominiously) and if you DO have moles in place, you're going to get found out sooner or later (and probably sooner) and... you're going to die ignominiously. Sure, you'd make it into the history books, but it'd be an epitaph, not a victory. I get that they need a "big bad," I guess... but that feels lazy. What was the significance of the Mossad reference? I assume I'm not the only one who caught that - and MAN did it catch my attention. (It also illustrated a blind spot in my own thinking, for which I'm eminently grateful - I'm Jewish, and my apparent comfort at an ISLAMIC attack was a lot more tolerable than my apparent DISCOMFORT at the thought of an Israeli attack. Blind spot in my thinking, for real. Television shows don't really get me to change how I think and feel often, but dang.)

NIKKI AND PAUL, IN THE GCAC DINING ROOM, WITH A ROPE. NIKKI, TO PAUL: Oh! PAUL: I don't want to hear it. I know that you want Victor exonerated through appeal because you people were all madsies at him and therefore your passion supposedly affected whether he actually did evil things or not, and so now that you're all grateful to him for nearly getting you killed but not quite, he's supposed to be innocent. What's more, the currant buns are NOT that great, you may think you want one but you don't, but the jam is quite nice. And I do think that the Jackson Pollock thing your granddaughter calls a hairdo is a little silly. But none of it's going to do any good. Victor is going back to jail. And my pants will ALWAYS be this tight, holy moo-cows running with scissors this hurts! NIKKI: ... I wasn't going to say any of that. Just coughed. Bye! IN JAIL, OR IN THE CHANCELLOR MANSION, CAN'T TELL BASED ON THE COLOR SCHEME. WARDEN: Inmate whose name I do not know. ADAM: ... Warden. WARDEN: You Newmans are all the same, except that you have different names, you look differently, and act differently, and have completely different personalities and bank accounts based on what the plot needs. But apart from all the differences, exactly the same. ADAM: ... okay. WARDEN: Must be hard for you to be here, huh, with no cushy bed, no nice bathroom, right? ADAM: I've never actually seen my bed or my bathroom. I'm sure they're nice, but all my scenes are in my living room, including when I'm getting busy with Gaspy. WARDEN: I'm warning you, etc. Just like I warned your old man! Wait, did I warn him? I can't remember, he had the run of the place. But it's a hellhole, let me tell you! WARDEN STOMPS OFF MUTTERING "BLUH-BLUH-BLUUUUUH" ALL DOWN THE HALLWAY. IN THE HELLHOLE I MEAN HOSPITAL. GASPY: You set him up. VICTOR: I didn't, I swear it. GASPY: You know where those papers are. You poisoned a woman's corpse, you altered Sage's diary - SAGE'S GHOST: It was a JOURNAL! GASPY: then you framed Adam so he'd be forced to do what you wanted instead of, like, asking him - VICTOR: I didn't do any of that, I swear it on my mother's grave. VICTOR'S MOTHER'S GHOST: I heard that, you little bastard. GASPY: I have a scalpel. VICTOR: I will do everything I can for Adam, I love him, even though I treat him like he's the crap I scrape off the bottom of my shoe. But I can't help him right now. GASPY: Good 'nuff. Time for you to donate blood to the floor. VICTOR: First off, have you met me? I don't have any blood. Second, wait, is this scene over already? Darn it- FAST FORWARDING NOISES BECAUSE LOTS OF BORING STUFF HAPPENED. LUCA AND SUMMER ARE, AS USUAL, GROSS. BACK TO THE HELLHOLE I MEAN HOSPITAL. GASPY: You're no use to me. VICTOR: First off, have you met me? Second, I don't have those journal pages I know nothing about, and I didn't poison that woman's corpse, someone else did it after I told them to. Third, LINE, PLEASE. PAUL AND NIKKI ENTER. THEY SAY STUFF, AND GASPY LEAVES. GASPY: My recorder didn't work. Some advertisement for Android THIS show is. AUDIENCE IS NOW TOTALLY CONFUSED BECAUSE DANG IT THAT ACTUALLY MADE PERFECT SENSE. WHAT SHOW IS THIS? IN WALWORTH, BACK AT ADAM'S CELL. ADAM: La la la, here I am in jail, bibbity-bobbity-boo. Some hell this is! This is great! VICTOR WALKS UP. ADAM: Oh... crap. Okay, yes, it's a hellhole. VICTOR: You're in here with me now. ADAM: ... Does "in" not mean the same thing to you that it does for me? You're walking around. I'm not. Seems to me that your "in" is a lot more "out" than my "in" is. KEVIN: Let me tell you about being out... VICTOR: This is all your fault, you know. ADAM: ... because i didn't do what you wanted, and you decided to act like a childish god-being who basically gets to throw a tantrum and drown everyone around him? VICTOR: You say it like that's a bad thing. ADAM: ... AND SCENE, WHY IS THIS *!^#%!@ NOT DEAD YET

BTW, this forum doesn't show up on the Y&R main page. I don't know how people find it.

BTW, I wasn't writing new scenes - I was transcribing scenes that exist in the show already. I didn't even have different *outcomes* for the scenes.

leftphalange: he's probably done that, too. After all, killing victor is difficult; it's been done multiple times and the bastard keeps surviving (see: Heart, Colleen's.) There's a REASON we call him "Grampire," you know.... But I totally agree. He eats the show, in lots of ways, and he's a crutch for the writers. He needs to go away.

What a wonderful episode that was! Here, I'll summarize it for you nice people. ADAM AND CHELSEA ARE CANOODLING BEFORE ADAM RUSHES OFF TO WALWORTH. ADAM: I'm freeeeee, freee as the birrrrrds, wheee! I'm going to jail! My character will be locked away, never to be seen! Prime time, here I come! Wheee! WRITERS: No, Justin. WALWORTH. Maximum security. So you'll have visitors every day. Lots of screen time. And none of it will make sense, muahaha. CHELSEA GASPS. ADAM: .... crap. NIKKI IS PONDERING THE LIFE CHOICES THAT LEAD HER TO HAVE A NAME LIKE "NIKKI." SHE'S TOO OLD TO BE A STRIPPER NOW. TIME TO CHANGE THE DIMINUTIVE, "NICOLE." AUDIENCE: Can the commentary, Hamster. HAMSTER OF DOOM: Neverrrrrrrr, you'll kill the sarcasm when you pry it from my cold and dead oh wait, what scene is this? NIKKI: Sucks that yer guilty, there, Victrrrrrr. VICTOR: Perf cheesemonger rabbit box phone. NIKKI: I believe everything you say is true, even when you say you're innocent, and everyone saw the proof that verified your guilt, including me. You just have to believe in yourself! Here, have a participation trophy. VICTOR: Tie bill squirrel mellow. NIKKI: I know, you'll do everything you can to get out of this hellhole, this terrible awful hospital room where you're fed and taken care of and you have light and everything. It's awful! They restrict your visitors to only seventeen an hour, and only allow the worst sort of people in here. In Walworth they allow you to have as many visitors as you like. VICTOR: Moist. DYLAN AND SHARON IN SHARON'S HOUSE SOMEWHERE, SHARON WALKS DOWNSTAIRS. SHARON: You should have woken me. DYLAN: I wasn't gonna wake Sleeping Beauty. Or you. SHARON: Quick, talk about something else, I think Hamster Of Doom went to sleep during this part of the show because you're so boring. DYLAN: I'm pretty sure Adam's innocent, what with there being SO... MANY.. QUESTIONS about this case. AUDIENCE SLAMS BACK A SHOT IN THE Y&R "THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS" DRINKING GAME. SHARON: Not that I'm the audience surrogate or anything, because I'm Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs here, but ... if there are so many questions that EVEN THE POLICE have, don't you think that Christine would know, and she'd hold off prosecution until we had more, like, certainty, what with certainty being pretty important in law? DYLAN LAUGHS HIS WAY OUT OF THE SCENE. WRITERS: Wait... did SHARON just insult us? We'll get our revenge! We'll make her a crazy person! We'll show her! MICHAEL IS TALKING TO KEVIN AND NATALIE, AND IT IS BORING, EXCEPT FOR: MICHAEL: Adam is going to plead guilty. KEVIN: He can't do that! MICHAEL: Actually, he can, all he has to do is say stuff like "I plead guilty." KEVIN: But with all the questions that Dylan keeps mentioning, there are questions around his guilt and a competent lawyer would point that out, and a competent prosecutor would agree, and they'd wait to determine some confidence of actual guilt before bothering to put this in front of a jury, because otherwise it's too likely to be a total waste of time. MICHAEL: But it's better than life in prison, right? KEVIN: Do you listen to a single word I say? NATALIE: hes right though i mean what are the odds that hell get something like thirty years haha where is my punctuation hamster MICHEAL: None at all, dun dun dunnnnn! KEVIN: ... did you just make the "dun dun dunnnn" noise? FAST FORWARDING NOISES. NIKKI IS STILL BLATHERING TO VICTOR. NIKKI: Victor, darling, you have rescued us all so many times, etc. VICTOR: Muh err. NIKKI: I know you had nothing to do with Adam's charges. If you had, it would have had an end game where you basically had him over a barrel, unable to do anything but what you wanted him to do, like exercise his free will and talents and stuff. And none of your plans ever go wrong, except-FAST FORWARDING NOISES. NIKKI: ... right? VICTOR, LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE: ... you said it. NIKKI: Nurse? Nurse? Victor's pants are smoking. COURT. AT THE BACK OF THE COURTROOM, CHLOE IS WEARING A RAINBOW-COLORED CLOWN WIG AND A NAMETAG THAT SAYS "MY NAME: NOT CHLOE." JUDGE: All rise, all rise, the production company's too cheap to put a bailiff costume on a day player, plus if they have a line we have to pay them more. So, uh... The Honorable Carrie O'Justice has been seated, or something. ADAM: Oh no! It's Mrs. Carriage O'Justice presiding! HAMSTER OF DOOM: I love my puns. AUDIENCE: Shut up, Hamster. JUDGE: Yeah, yeah, let's get this show on the road. I signed a contract, if this momentous event takes longer than 32 seconds I lose money. Adam, how d'you plead, do you under... oh screw it, how do you plead, hurry. ADAM: I understand what guilt means - JUDGE: HOW DO YOU PLEAD, clock's tickin' ADAM: Guilty. JUDGE: Thirty years, walworth, bye now. CHLOE: Muahahahahahaha you been FRAMED SUCKA! SUFFA! YEAH YEAH YEAH! TAKE IT AND DIE! CHRISTINE: la la la. Wonder who that is.

Still catching up: SCENE 1 MAX AND HYPERKITTYSUGARBOMBBOYCHILD ENTER SECURITY ROOM. AUDIENCE RATHER SANELY WONDERS WHY "SECURITY" DOESN'T MEAN THE SAME THING IN Y&R THAT IT DOES IN REAL LIFE. WRITERS: (SHOUTING) Look, viewers! A squirrel! Over there! Do you see it? Not that one, the other one! No, the other other one! AUDIENCE SHAKES COLLECTIVE HEAD SADLY, TAKES ANOTHER HIT, AND GETS BACK TO WATCHING. MAX: Oh look at all this security stuff, including the film of the stairway where I basically tripped Evil S.M. into tripping and falling. HYPERKITTYSUGARBOMBBOYCHILD BOUNCES AND BUZZES. MAX: Gee. WRITERS: (STILL SHOUTING, USING COMIC SANS AND ALL CAPS) Scene! We can't afford the blinking lights, nor can we afford actual props that might get wrecked. SCENE 2 LILY: I'm a good mom, I'm so attentive, tra la la. Wonder what the nanny's up to! SOMEONE OFFSCREEN: (SHOUTING) An alarm is going off. Wooo-oooo-ooo! Wooo-oooo-ooo! Weeeee-ooo-eee-ooo, someone hand me my smokes. LILY: An alarm is going off. Man, we've improved our attention to detail lately. MAX AND HYPERKITTYSUGARBOMBBOYCHILD ENTER, SMOKE-RIDDEN AND CARRYING WIRES. LILY: Max, whatever-your-name-is, did you guys have something to do with this? HYPERKITTYSUGARBOMBBOYCHILD: yesyeswesurediditwasmaxhedestroyedthesecurityroombecausehetrippedabbyandshefellandherbabydiedcanIhazmorecerealplz LILY: Don't we have a nanny? LILY: I sure hope you didn't have something to do with this, Max. Good thing that security door was clearly marked and closed, although it wasn't locked. MAX: Muuaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I mean, you're right, lady. SCENE 3 BABALUCA: So, Victor. You need to hand Newman over to me, because, uh, I'll think of something soon. Oh, I know: you know why! VICTOR: No, nobody knows why. Because it'd be stupid. BABALUCA: But I'm shtupping your granddaughter. VICTOR: First, ew. AUDIENCE: Yes. We've met pillows with more brains. VICTOR: Second, uh, no. While the betrayal sounds kinda neat, I don't actually think you do anything BUT betray, and I'd be an idiot not to believe you would betray me as well, since you've already done that multiple times. BABALUCA: I'd hoped you'd forgotten about all that. VICTOR: I'd forgotten everything but the last fifteen minutes of LINE! WHERE'S MY G******** LINE! BABALUCA: Darn, it was worth a try. AUDIENCE: Really? BABALUCA: Yes. VICTOR: Who are you talking to?

ifoundit: yeah, I can see the possibility: Crystal lost because she had confidence to actually have an identity and a will of her own. Plus, she looked like a goblin (TWoP's description of her as "the goblin queen" still makes me laugh, even if it's cruel and undeserved. I'm probably going to Hell. Plus, I STILL think that there was no way she lost based on talent alone; even during the competition that season I thought she was miles ahead of everyone else, and poor DeWyze always sounded like he was trying to piss out a kidney stone - oddly enough, Phillip Phillips managed to show us himself how it could be done without sucking.) Her career seems to have been the victim of executive meddling, surprise surprise.

Vote For The Worst - not only a site, it's a mindset. The people who vote are more likely to vote for a white guy with a guitar than a girl, although it happens that girls can win (obviously); trying to predict the vote is a matter of guessing which way the wind will blow. I know some people LIKE DeWyze. That's fine, it's a stylistic choice; some people like Nickelback. For me, DeWyze was always flat (musically) and sounded like he was trying to figure out a way to be emotional (thus, flat emotionally as well); I thought the talent disparity between DeWyze and Bowersox was astronomical. (Hearing DeWyze on the radio, I was laughing because it was so obviously and badly autotuned... for an American Idol winner! It's like the AI producers themselves flushed that particular turd down the toilet for everyone to see.)

Yes, I'm aware Lee DeWyze won, because WGWG, to the best that I can tell - the talent disparity between Bowersox and DeWyze was so great that I was well and truly stunned that he won. And I didn't even normally care about AI. But you have to admit, DeWyze would be an awesome bookend, a great way to show what AI could have been and wasn't...