davidcalgary29

This week, excitement explodes amongst the contestants as they are tasked with performing a dry-run for the Werq The World tour! It's truly wonderful to see our beloved series being used as an ad for a Vegas show. Ru implores the queens to get political and inspire viewers to vote -- vote, I tell you! -- and sends them off for a pleasant, if not riveting, "let's put on a show!" episode. Based on the results, though, I predict a low turnout in November. The neo-disco track is fine, most of the lyrics are forgettable, and Q excels, only to see the judges resort to their tricks and refuse to put her in the top. The runway is also fine -- did I say the episode is fine? -- and Dawn retreats to her mid-century Tim Burton comfort zone. Next week: the Axe of Doom finally falls as the queens (and no doubt the audience) are tortured with a hybrid branding/improv challenge! Plane promises to milk her momentary lapse into altruistic insanity by carping about it for the rest of the season.

This week, Ru thrills the cast by pulling out a fresh and contemporary reference from the oh-so-now Danny Thomas Show! Even Plasma does a double-take at that one when she realizes that even she keeps her cultural references to the still-living. Seriously, WoW, comedy has moved on since the fifties Vaudeville. After a few minutes of flatlining in the tedious mini-challenge, our Gothesses are tasked with...something, and, after some predictable sartorial meltdowns, almost everyone turns out some pretty great looks that RuPaul claims to be "goth". Sapphira is given props for making two complete looks, the show tries to make amends for Utica's robbery by giving Q her rightful win, and then also makes a fatal error by appointing Plane the narrator of the season. Couldn't they ask Dawn to talk, or maybe that Fabric Wall? Mhi'ya and Morphine are deemed to be "predictable" (lies!), but it's Plasma who exits the competition, as she leaves her mid-century comfort zone to make a sad, lonely, and somewhat tacky trip to Cherville. Population: one. I may miss you, Plasma! But Mhi'ya really did destroy you in that lipsynch. Next week: it looks like the Governor has called and given the audience another week's reprieve from the inevitable late-season improv challenge! WILL our luck hold for the rest of the season?

No, they've allowed it for years now. You can either count Kim Chi's "Kimmy Jong Un" on S8 or Gigi's "Maria the Robot" as the first made-up characters on the main franchise.

I'd feel more benevolent toward Plane at this point in her "evolution" if she hadn't earlier stated that she was living her "Bitch Fantasy" when she was harassing Amanda; that suggests that she knew very well that she was being obnoxious when she didn't have to be, which is worse to me than just being a clueless bitch. She's calculating; she's shown herself to be mean; and I still don't really know what her brand of drag might be, so I'm not terribly invested in her as a contestant. I'm also with Dawn here: Plasma's shtick has become stale.

This week, Mhi'ya sasses her competitors, mines RuPaul's fondness for problematic familial stereotypes, and rides her way to a top placement. It's probably too late to save herself from a mid-season elimination, but it's an admirable turn of events! Meanwhile, a fun reading challenge proves to be a sly misdirection, as our queens flail in a mediocre Snatch Game, and Ru shows her acting chops by pretending to enjoy Plane. Sum Ting's wrong with Nymphia (hello, UK1!) as she Attenboroughs her way to a dull performance and into the bottom three with a catatonic Xunami and Morphine before finding herself Suspiciously Safe. Congrats on finding that golden banana, Nymphia! Next week: the queens pay tribute to Robert Smith as they try to find The Cure to mid-season doldrums!

Popular response: you're not alone. Oh, we will. We will. *shudder*

La Grande Dame is a superstar. I NEED France vs. The World.

On the plus side, Jughead can now get his hat back! I don't know how these queens are managing to source their wardrobe from cartoon characters, but colour me impressed. I am sullen about the fact that I enjoyed Plane the most in the Rusical. Plasma's runway was amazing, but she gave the same speed and energy as Loosey in the S15 musical...and Loosey was punted to the bottom for it. What! I am also going to draw attention to Ru's Main Stage Ouchfit, which was the worst thing she's worn in years. Years! That was the losing creation from the sewing challenge, right? Or did she lose a bet with LaLa? Or is it something that Spankie "gifted" her? I need answers!

This week, RuPaul challenges our queens to participate in a fun, exciting, and fresh take on The Sound of Music! Except it's not, because this is essentially the SNL Dooneese Sound of Music skit with the funny stuff replaced with WoW's own IP. Still, there is pleasure to be found in the prancing and dancing. And Plasma makes the ultimate sacrifice by never, not once, name-dropping Julie Andrews! Okay, that doesn't happen, either. Meanwhile, Plane tries out her fun, playful side before realizing she doesn't have one, and decides to make "bitch" her shtick. Stay true to yourself, Plane! Also: Production sends packing a queen they had zero interest in promoting, and telegraphs it from the start of the episode.

Well, it was a bedazzled bodysuit, which the judges always love to see on a contestant that they're keeping around to juice up ratings by stoking viewer outrage. Ru is obviously not going to Crown her, but it's not that Plane is terrible or unskilled: she's just operating below the top tier of contestants this season, and is not likeable on TV, which is enough for the final four, but not the win. But production nonetheless needs some high placements to troll the other contestants and the viewers and to justify her inevitable high final ranking. There's no reason why they couldn't have switched her out with Megami this week, but she's boring TV, so they don't care about her. Throw in Mhi'ya, Xunami, and Morphine (who's fading) into that mix, and you've our mid-season outs singled out. Q's design was great, but I want her to move away from Maleficent Drag. I really loved Nymphia's creation and wouldn't have been mad if she had won. I like that the younger queens are always pushing the boundaries of drag, but I have to say that I'm not quite there with the concept of stylized leg hair as a beauty trend: it just reminds me of all of those awful late-night commercials that I used to see for Nad's wince-inducing "sugaring" products. Geneva really seems lovely, though.

Tonight, nostalgia reigns supreme as viewers are invited to fondly remember Season 7's superior "Hello Kitty" challenge as RuPaul invites Season 16 to participate in an intermittently engaging branding, designing, and sewing challenge -- with suspiciously sub-par fabrics! Plane tentatively raises one eye above the the ooze of shade under which she apparently resides before wisely deciding that the time is Not Yet Ripe for a character pivot, and then quietly sinks back into the comforting waters of The Great Dismal Swamp. Wait for your cue, Plane! In other news, Michelle wrongly praises Plasma for channeling her inner Endora, RuPaul (briefly) stops trolling Q to give her much-deserved accolades for her work, and Nymphia is snubbed for her Best Supporting Shade nomination. She was giving Banana Barbie, RuPaul! Next week: Plasma is rushed to the ER when Julie Andrews tells her to ditch references that only dead people get and move into the 1970s! Sapphira rues her impulsiveness while Plane is given yet more reasons to be smug.

RuPaul continues to troll viewers and torture the remaining queens by splitting them into three groups to write lyrics for, and lipsynch to, avant-garde pop hits! Unfortunately, we do not get Yoko Ono tracks, so the queens determinedly put on their best faces to promote songs which no one wants to hear and will only be used to expand RuPaul's petrochemical empire on his Wyoming ranch, instead of funding urgently-needed makeup lessons for the unfortunate (translation: Amanda Tori Meating.) While results are inconclusive, the Reality Show Gods have ordained that it is time for the departure of Smuckers Face, and so we say a sad goodbye to Amanda, who was not the worst in the challenge and did not lose her lipsynch. She really does seem like a lovely person, and is neither a complete bitch (translation: Jane) nor totally boring (half the remaining cast). I will miss you, Amanda!

Well, production certainly didn't want us to think so given the way that the laugh-track "sweetening" was killed off during her bits. But I still can't process that she screwed up the lyrics to "Dark Lady". HOW? It's like screwing up the theme to "The Love Boat"! Didn't she go through a Cher phase in her early twenties and listen obsessively to "Miss Subway of 1952" in her room? My god. Rant aside, "Take Me Home" would have been a far better lipsynch song.

"And next up is Megami...serving Delta Work. As Mistress. As Cher!" God, the runway tonight was terrible for such a legend. I'm paying more attention to Amanda's Makeup Race right now more than I am to half the contestants. What's happening??? Plasma = Jan x Loosey^2 / Pandora's anxiety. WHO has a mid-century comfort zone?

I sort of drifted off during Sapphira's latter two looks and decided to concentrate on how hot (s)he looks out of drag in Confessionals. Ra'jah: Urkel. Sapphira: Stephane Urquelle

I thought that the episode was fine. Good, actually. The problem here is that there were FORTY TWO friggin' looks, and that's a lot of eyeballing for any episode of anything. Sapphira's first look was stunning. Q and Nymphia's constructed looks were jawdropping. And Megami's India Ferrah homage was certainly an improvement over the original, although I felt that she really could have elevated the look by adding a pair of deflated, lopsided boobies for the runway. Next time, Megami! Next time! Plane (who apparently does not like to be called Jane) has gone from calculating to scripted. Is someone feeding her lines, or is she reading off of cue cards? She looked stiff and brittle throughout Amanda's Intervention in Untucked, although it should have been a triumphant moment of bitchery and/or unfettered delusion. Someone needs to bring in Melinda Verga, stat, to school these bitches on drama.

I'm not yet convinced that Plasma isn't Lucian Piane doing a sneak run to get back into Drag Race. I also like Plasma, but I sort of rolled my eyes at her comment that she "grew up listening to Julie Andrews!". I mean, yeah, sure, when your aged parent drags you to Sing-a-Long Sound of Music, dressed up as both Fritz and Liesel (while you hide in a brown paper package wrapped up with embarrassment), but otherwise, NO. I grew up as a closeted Easy Listening fan, but I'm not going to go on national television announcing that my key cultural influences were the Starland Vocal Band, Bread, and lots of Rita Coolidge. Have some pride, Plasma! You're not ninety!

...and still managed to insult Nymphia in the process, even though her "strategy" was to place the best last. You'd think she'd know that her time on set would last a month, but the show's contracted to be on Netflix until the 33rd century. Make us like you! Balance the mean with comedy!

...but she thinks herself to be clever, winning, and hilarious. I'm reserving judgment for now, but ugh.

What I primarily find attractive in Jimbo is her spontaneity. Jane feels very calculated in this episode, and I'm hoping that this is a temporary glitch. She makes me think of what might happen if Jimbo and Fiercealicious got caught in a transporter incident with Brooke Lynn's S1 Fembot persona: boobs and bitchiness without the charisma or likeability.

Seven new queens attempt to enter the competition with excitement even though they can clearly see that they're the B Team on this season! Plane Jane immediately sends herself off to the finals by blatantly acting like a complete bitch, leaving her competitors to flail and sag in the face of her audacity. It's a risky choice, though, as a mid-season pivot to showcase vulnerability and compassion will be required in order to satisfy reality television tropes and viewers' interest. Also: ditch the giant boobs, girl! Jimbo already sailed those floats out of town. Talents talent and the runway runways, leaving viewers largely entertained and with a craving for bananas. Will we begin to remember these queens' names by next week? And WILL Amanda Tori Meating finally paint on vaguely human features for the runway next week? Shenanigans and tantrums seem assured as we prepare for the first ball of the season! We can only hope that Q (or perhaps Saffira) will give Jane a much-needed comeuppance.

Melinda's mug still looked kind of busted. Better, but still busted. Love her! Please go on a season with Fiercealicious ASAP. Kiki's finale look was outrageously good. You could tell that Nearah actually thought she was going to make the top two, and looked kind of crushed when she didn't. I feel a little bad for her. Denim, on the other hand, looked like he'd already read the room.

While I can respect that opinion, I'll have you know that I flounce around my office at least once a day announcing that "I'm now realizing that my presence here is much, MUCH bigger than my desire to be here!". And then storm away, to an audience of no one. There are really very few situations in life where one can't throw that one around for general appreciation and/or applause. We Amanda fans have to ask ourselves this: is she Shangela S3 busted or Spankie Jackzon busted? I heard someone call her runway look "Smucker's Face" and I can't get it out of my head.

I think it can work with two queens who specialize in performance and dance and give it their all, as we saw with the season opener for S12. Okay, with Widow and Gigi's lipsync, as I can't even remember what happened in the other split premiere. Maybe Q was having an off night, but that was a pretty boring performance and -- minority report! -- I really didn't like Saffira's that much, either.

Seven queens enter lifelong indentiture into the WoW matrix! Meanwhile, production relies on viewers' collective amnesia by resurrecting tired rhetorical tricks in the hope of stirring up fresh excitement, and Amanda Tori Meating struggles to understand human facial anatomy. You should have worn a rainbow catsuit, girl! Amanda gets a lot of airtime for someone pegged by all (including, apparently, production) as an early out. Hm. I don't know if Dawn's going to be able to strike gold with quirk, as Crystal, Willow, And Denim have already plundered that vein, but her sass gives me hope. Q's runway look was amazing, but I really did want to see how Charlize would have rocked it. Let's hope that the two of them can get together after the show so that we can see the magic.