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Jared is like an AI rendering of a manipulative douchebag. Ugh. So gross. On the other hand, it's hard to feel bad for Brittani, who is a middle-aged woman with the psyche of a 12-year-old. But, most importantly, who invites someone else to a party that he's only attending himself as a guest, without at least asking the hosts if it would be all right??

So her appearances last season were OUR fault?! Great, something new to feel guilty about.

Elegance is learned, my friend. This is just like the time the folks over on the Top Chef boards assumed I had expertise in cooking.

Are you one of my college students whose essays I'm grading this weekend? Jk jk jk... :) Seriously, though, I completely agree with your assessment of Kyle as being in arrested development -- her emotional maturity stunted around middle school. I would imagine that's common with former child actors? I can totally see how Voldemort (She Who Cannot Be Named) was a fun escape hatch at a time when Kyle was spiraling, and Kyle just glommed on and the infatuation grew from there. But, I also think this could be true and Kyle may have developed romantic feelings for this woman. Who knows? Sexuality is a rich tapestry. Garcelle's right that Kyle doesn't really owe anyone an explanation. That said, the one thing she does owe us is to not make this her plotline on another fucking season of this show because DEAR LORD NO.

I'm not defending Dorit because... well, Dorit ... but I thought PK had been public about his struggles with alcohol and the fact that he'd gotten sober? That doesn't excuse Dorit discussing it in such a crass manner, but I'm not sure if it was completely new information to us? Also, I thought PK's language in that conversation with Mau was very telling. He misses the days when Dorit was his "shadow" and went out with him all time to places where he wanted to go. Don't get me wrong - I don't like Dorit! But, I think we all need to take a moment to reflect on what's really important here, and it's that PK also sucks a whole lot.

RIGHT?! What on earth was happening in that scene? Where was it going, and why? Seriously, thank you for saying this. Now I feel less alone.

I want to be careful of how I phrase this, because I am very aware that homophobia is still a thing, and that it must be jarring to have to come to terms, at middle age, with a different version of yourself than you thought you were. That said, Kyle's weeping about how she was worried that her daughters would be embarrassed by her potential same-sex attraction seems... like an outsized reaction? First, and most obviously, where was that fear of her kids' embarrassment the first time Kyle did the splits on camera? Or, each subsequent time? Secondly, based on where she lives and the fact that she's in the industry, I'm guessing Kyle runs with a fairly liberal crowd -- at least when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues. Kyle may be many things, but I doubt she raised her kids to believe that being non-heterosexual is anything to be embarrassed by. And finally -- to Garcelle's point -- she coyly teased her relationship with Morgan in a music video! But now she's worried her kids would be embarrassed by it? Does not compute! But the thing is... her tears seemed real to me. So, what's happening there? Are she and her family secretly more conservative than I'd thought? Is she just engaging in histrionics because she's Kyle? Was she crying about something completely different, and the editors Frankenbit it together to make it seem like she was talking about Morgan? Very odd.

I'm surprised that people are saying that PK looked better than usual, because I thought both he and Mau looked terrible in that scene. I don't like to talk about people's appearances, but frankly I thought they both looked unwell!

Just when I thought these women couldn’t disappoint me in any additional ways, the costumes were SOOOO meh! NONE of them really leaned into the theme in any interesting ways, with the possible exception of Erika. Bronwyn from SLC wears weirder shit than this at, like, a parent-teacher conference on a random Tuesday morning.

*small voice* I found Erika a little bit likable in this episode. What is wrong with ME???

If the kids don’t find out themselves. One of them is TEN! My daughter is ten, and some kids in her class have phones and Apple watches already. Next year they’ll be in middle school! VERY odd to act like they’re infants who can reasonably be spared the truth.

While Dorit’s outfit may not have been “absurdist,” her claim that her 8- and 10-year-old kids don’t know anything about her separation certainly is!

I was really torn because… I dislike Bronwyn…. But I feel like she’s handling this situation really well…But, wait, she’s handling this sensitive situation with her teen daughter via the platform of reality TV. Whole lotta cognitive whiplash.

It was interesting to see Jenna be so politic about Scientology when it’s notoriously anti-LGBT. I know that most (all?) religions have subsets that are anti-LGBT but with Scientology isn’t that like fundamental to their beliefs?

Ah true. (Well, maybe Carole?) But I feel like if a little birdie dropped into Ramona's DMs with the info, she might run with it. I actually loathe Ramona, for various reasons, but I will say that at least she seemed to show an authentic-ish self to the world, warts and crazy eyes and all.

They all have the SAME FUCKING VOICE!! Does the family keep quaaludes in the cookie jar? Is this, like, all an extended SNL skit and they're trolling everyone??? I don't particularly care for Bronwyn's fashion, but at least it's interesting! It's not why I dislike her. I dislike her because she seems really two-faced (e.g. She absolutely was talking smack about Whitney to Heather and Lisa!), and she's been on the show for a minute and a half and has already called another woman stupid and inserted herself into unnecessary drama. I'm biased against newbies who come out of the gate so strongly like that. I also am admittedly biased against "I don't have many female friends because other women are so catty" type women. But hey, at least she's not defrauding parishioners and she's not in jail, nor has she been unmasked as an internet troll, so by the standards of this show she's not doing terribly.

I don't think I particularly care for Bronwyn, but "You're on again, you're off again, you're in a Costco cart..." had me howling with laughter.

I can just imagine Ramona grilling her on what really happened to Shelly Miscavige.

I agree that they're all too guarded. It's frustrating because I don't actually think the majority of these women are bad casting choices! Jessel lacks self- awareness in a classic Real Housewives way and could be exquisite with a different cast. Brynn is probably the most frustrating of all because she actually seems like she has a brain and could be interesting, but all we see is the stupid sex kitten schtick that is at best annoying and at worst deeply problematic. Some of them are quick-witted and naturally funny, but we seldom get to see it. When they do let their guards down and just interact like normal people, it's so refreshing! I laughed out loud a few times watching their dinner at the Greek restaurant! But, in general, they don't share anything! And anything they do share is dissected endlessly! So, how can this be a show?!? I almost feel like at this point they should drop the fourth wall entirely and just make this a show about what it's like to be on RHW.

I think we’ve found Jenn‘s tagline for next season!

Shannon is many negative things, but she is not a complete idiot. I have to imagine that she knows Tamra is not a true friend, (and if she doesn’t, she sincerely needs some sort of cognitive work-up). That said, she’s on a show with Tamra and it’s her job to film with her. Shannon’s options are 1) to go against Tamra (which is not for the faint of heart and Shannon definitely doesn’t have the constitution for it) or 2) pretend she still thinks of Tamra as a good friend. I do think she legitimately DID think of Tamra as a good friend previously, but it doesn’t appear that Shannon has confided in Tamra for a while. I’d say there’s an option #3, which is just to cordially co-exist with Tamra, but that option doesn’t appear to be a reality on this show, where you’re either warring with someone or “working on moving forward in your friendship.” (Option #4 is to leave the show entirely, and this is by far the best option for Shannon, but she will never take it.)

Am I the only one who remembers when Alexis had nasal surgery and Tamra (of course Tamra!) was rabid about this just being a cover for a nose job and kept attack-dogging Alexis about it? Dr Terry just haaaaad to weigh in and back up Tamra by saying that the type of surgery Alexis had done is not for the medical issue she claimed to have. I don’t typically have anything against Terry (It’s all relative! Not being a cancer scammer or a grifter puts you in the top 10% of RHOOC husbands) but I found him overly gossipy and gross in that moment.

I was going to say the same! I’ve come across multiple Bronwyns in my life (graduating HS in the late 90’s on Long Island, FWIW). When the other Braunwyn was on RHOOC and people were mocking the name as weird, I thought that was so interesting!

THANK YOU, BRAIN.

I did see the part with the butthole display. I wish I hadn’t.