BlueberryJane23

5. When the child’s 3rd grade teacher contacts you because said child is bullying and tormenting other children, bring your girlfriend to the parent-teacher conference so she can passionately defend said child, flail her arms uselessly, snarl at the teacher, and attempt to have her fired.

Olivia is not a good fake cryer. That is all.

This is why CEO’s of media corporations should really go to college. When Valentin’s nose started to bleed did anyone else think Stranger Things? So glad they remembered to strap down his hands and put him in a hospital gown. Too bad they didn’t shave his head. Now I hope he goes all Eleven and uses his powers to hurl Papa Victor into the frozen wasteland.

It also makes no sense that Heather was willing to let Ava and Felicia go when just a few months ago, she wanted Ava dead badly enough to stab her with a hook. Or was that supposed to be some kind of trick? My broadcast was interrupted for a tornado warning in central NJ.

While the target practice scenes were not what anyone needed to see right now, I was impressed that Ava’s silk blouse remained free of pit stains. That’s some good antiperspirant she’s got.

For those wondering if grandparents suing for visitation is really a thing, when I was a kid, our neighbor had a falling out with her adult daughter and went to family court so she could see her grandchildren. She was granted supervised visits but both parties had to agree on the supervisor. The person they ultimately agreed on was my mother. This was in NJ about 30 years ago. So yes, Nina can get visitation, and if Michael and Willow are concerned that she might somehow “damage” Wiley, they can get Stella to supervise. I’m sure she has lots of free time now that Mike is gone. And then we won’t have to hear from any of them on this stupid subject anymore. Also, when the truth comes out about the sex tape, I want Joss and Trina to get revenge on Esme by drugging her, cutting off all that super shiny, annoyingly long hair, and donating it to Locks of Love.

Nina is not responsible for Peter's actions, but she's not blameless either. If she hadn't been so invested in protecting her "Mike" secret, she could have called the police or Anna or Jax -- or Valentine. And yes, Peter would have found some other leverage to use against her because he's a bad guy and that's what bad guys do. But at least Nina could have done what any normal rich person would do if they were being chased by a psychopath and gotten the hell out of town. Instead, she stuck around Nixon Falls, indulging in her Mike fantasy and putting everyone in harm's way. For that Phyllis has a right to be angry.

Thank you to the person who wiped Nina's face for the hospital scenes. The soot looked stupid. All the coughing and anvils about needing to get checked out made me wonder if she'll succumb to smoke inhalation and collapse as she's begging Sonny to forgive her. Then everyone will forget how pissed they are as they plead with her to wake up. Jason/Epiphany hug "I will name him George. And I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him."

Liz looked cute with her curly camping hair. I don't get the thing with the sauce. Couldn't people taste Trina's month-old, defrosted pasta sauce from the bar and say, "Good sauce! Tastes just like Sonny's!" without assuming that dead Sonny must have actually made the sauce? Isn't it possible that someone else had the same recipe? I've eaten chicken soup that tasted just like my late grandmother's. Somehow, I kept it together and didn't go all crazy thinking my grandma was still alive. Was Wyatt the same kid who discovered Peter when Liesel was holding him hostage in the cabin?

So in the brief time we’ve known her, Esmee has successfully masqueraded as a nurse, accessed the GH computers, recreated Kiki’s ID badge, and set fire to Ava’s car. I gotta hand it to the girl. She has SKILLZ. The Corinthos Organization (or is it The Morgan Organization now?) really ought to snap her up and put those talents to use. She blows Brick out of the water. And her odd remark about Ava deserving to suffer because Nick chose her over Spencer doesn’t bode well for Trina. We all know Spencer is going to choose Trina over Esmee. On other fronts, Britt is fast becoming one of my favorite characters. I felt really sorry for her at the GNO. Sure she’s done some bitchy things, but so has almost everyone at that table. (With the possible exception of Deanna.) I wish Terry would stop schooling her in that patient condescending voice. It’s irritating. Frankly, the “girls” missed a great opportunity because in addition to being gorgeous and smart, Britt happens to be a hoot. She’s definitely the one I’d want to hang out with in that group.

After watching that petty bickering scene between Terry and Britt, I got this bad feeling when Monica called them both in to discuss the CoS decision. I just hope we’re not getting “Co-chiefs of Staff Randolph and Westbourne” because (a) it’s stupid, and (b) we will subjected to regular sessions of their back and forth hijinks. Britt has really grown on me since they’ve been writing her as a rational person who speaks her mind, stands up for herself, shows vulnerability, yet still has a sense of humor. Watching her snark it up with the annoying and pointless Terry will just undo all the great progress they’ve made with her character.

Are we supposed to believe the names "Mike", "Wylie," "Nina," "Crimson," and "Port Charles" did not ring a single bell for Smike, but an old cap can trigger a whole host of memories? Also, I live an hour from NYC. It's 93 degrees here. Who is wearing a hat like that in July?

Thank you!!!! For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why Sam was playing for the PCPD!

ULKIS, I’m a few days behind in my reading, but thank you for the L.M. Montgomery reference!

Cyrus’s slow way of talking has always bugged me, but at least he’s able to inject a hint of menace into his tone sometimes. Phyllis, on the other hand, has taken the slow-talking to new depths. We get it! Nixon Falls is a sleepy town with a slower pace of life. Does that mean she has to speak to everyone with that flat tone of exaggerated patience? Is this her nursing strategy for dealing with dim-witted people? I especially hate the way she says “Mike” dragging it out into two syllables, “Mah-ayyek.”