Linderville

I'm not sure how to attach quotes yet, but thank you so much for your supportive posts. I am so touched. When Dorinda said divorce is a "choice" I just had to speak up. I hope I didn't minimize the understandable grief one would experience with the death of a spouse. Throughout my marriage, I always thought that would be the absolute worst thing that could happen. I feel like I know you all because I've been reading these forums for years! Thank you again.

I'm sorry if I'm not posting this correctly. I'm kind of new at posting. My husband left me a year ago on Christmas. We had been together 25 years. I had no clue anything was wrong. I thought we had a good marriage; friends told me they were envious. I loved my husband with all my heart and I would have died for him without hesitation. Thru our marriage, I had great anxiety about him dying and couldn't bear to think about losing my best friend. Now I realize, It would have been so much easier if he had died. I would not be suffering the rejection, that at 58, after cancer, I was no longer desirable to him. I get to live knowing he is now with somebody quite a bit younger. Worried I am going to see them together. It's really difficult not to picture all the things my husband said and did to me, he is now saying and doing to someone else. I am just as alone as if he had died. Carole said you just go into court and sign a paper. Not exactly. My heart is truly broken. It's excruciating to know the person who was always on your side is now working against you. I lost my health insurance. He got half of my inheritance from my parents, half of the house I had paid off, before we were married. If he had died, I would be financially stable. I spent my whole life making sure I would be financially set in my older years, and now I'm not. At all. He is still fighting for more and I'm afraid to even open my email or listen to my phone messages. My best friend is now cold and heartless to me. I have spent a year in therapy, I've tried many antidepressants, I have been suicidal for the first time in my life. I can't even express to you the darkness this last year has been for me. I have lost his family, and I wouldn't have if he had died. I am just as alone as any widow, but I have to deal with a whole lot more. And I can't look at photographs for comfort, or think about sweet memories. They're all tainted and I'm not sure what was ever real now. I do not wish ill upon my husband, but no one is going to convince me that it wouldn't have been easier for me if he had died. I'm editing this to say, I forgot the most important thing: if he had died, rather than left me, our love would still be intact.

I did take a video of my dog Pixel having a seizure once. But she had had them before, and my vet asked me to film one, so he could see it, for help with diagnosis. As obviously, Pix couldn't have one in front of him, on command. My first thought was that's what Bethany was doing. But I never posted it on Facebook or would think of filming myself in The intense grief I have suffered, through the loss of all my beloved pets. That clip of her crying was genuine. but filming it and posting it was strange.

I agree. I am kind of surprised at all the backlash at Luann's costume. Black face is exaggerated and mocking..literally painting one's face BLACK (A skin tone that does not even exist) with giant white eyes and lips. It was done by Caucasians in a time where African-Americans were severely oppressed and completely disadvantaged by Caucasians, and there is absolutely no place for that reference anymore. But are we supposed to pretend there are no different skin tones? Why is making your skin slightly darker to emulate a beautiful, respected icon so disrespectful? Darker skin is lovely, as are all shades. Now, the ridiculously enormous Afro wig she chose flirts with stereotype and was cartoonish and could be considered mocking, I suppose.

I read that book in the 60s...it was a memoir by Esther Hautzig, The Endless Steppe. Her family was taken from their wealthy home in Poland, during WWll, by the Russians and sent in cattle cars with many others to work in labor camps in Siberia. It was horrible. It's the first thing I thought of when Dorit told that story.