Midnight Cheese
-
Posts
788 -
Joined
Content Type
Blogs
Gallery
Downloads
Discussion
Posts posted by Midnight Cheese
-
-
11 hours ago, LilaFowler said:
Ramona is disgusting. Every season she says something atrocious to another person, and doesn't say sorry. She always says "I apologize" which I don't consider to be the same thing as saying "I'm so sorry, I was wrong." Every year I have more and more contempt for this woman. Barbara is "masculine"? Says the woman who butchered her face and now has a lopsided nose.
There are so many reasons to hate Ramona. So very many! But her cuntastic She’s A Man, Baby! twattery towards women she doesn’t care for always moves her straight to the top of any beatdown list. LuAnn and Barb are men - hm, we at least could bet with confidence that her whore ex would have gladly slung some dick Lu’s way. And Barb may annoy but she isn’t afraid of that fucked-face she-beast, and was a good hostess to that...thing. Holy crow.
I have a fundamental issue with the kinds of arrangements Dennis’s firm made with vulnerable people, but Ramona was beyond cruel and out of line. I know she can entertain but I really detest her, in the way I hate Vicki Gunvalson. They are cruel, stupid, and their nostrils aren’t friends with whatever original nose each of ‘em had.
I guess I don’t see how Barbara is the least attractive cast member right now. She’s over 50 but doesn’t look too pulled, and she’s got a bit of a Maxxinista vibe, but I can still look at her, whereas natural light is not Ramona’s friend anymore. The partial facial paralysis and glimpses of scalp show her fighting aging tooth and claw. So she needs to shut it. It’s also beyond time for her to reconsider her clothes, which, and I’m sure this is offensive but it’s not what she’s going for, given her materialism and vanity, always reads like layers of Chico’s over very hardworking Spanx. Nay, ma’am.
I’m hoping that while she dates (dates, lays down like a dead starfish on a series of beds in faintly depressing UES bedrooms, tomato, tomahto), that Ramona gets her wallet stolen, twists an ankle trying to make her exit, and is otherwise humiliated on the regular. I’d bet some lobsters that’s already happened.
Poor gracious Tinsley. And WHAT WHAT WHAT did Dale do to her face? She’s the red-haired Joan Van Ark (prepare yourself if you image search.)
-
8
-
12
-
-
I loathed season two - seven Teresa but I can’t help but pity the Giudices deportation trauma. I don’t wish it on anyone and wish he could be made to give full or fuller restitution to his old tenants via garnishment over the rest of his life, and to pay additional monies to the vendors that went unpaid. To me that seems to come much closer to making everything as whole as is possible. YMMV. I feel awful for the kids the most, to be clear.
-
5
-
-
I watched parts of the season 1 finale today, too, and felt wistful and so sad to see Wendy, her mother, and her beautiful kid given Wendy’s death. I am glad to read in a lovely, full, obituary, that Wendy handled her “villainy” with grace. Thirteen years later, her comments about Kara Saun’s entitlement unfortunately are bang-on. I’m sure it meant not so much to either of them, but some part of me wishes they hugged it out at some point.
https://middleburglife.com/remembering-wendy-pepper-fashion-icon-free-spirit/
Finley is a beautiful young woman now. I’m so sorry she’s lost her mother.
-
3
-
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
How have we not yet discussed Teddi’s charming comment when she met LVP? LisaV is a far better person than I am because I know I’d have had a hell of a lot to say if another adult walked into a room to talk with me while literally whining, “am I here for an apology? To get an apology?” GTFOH with that!
Good gravy, is “accountability coach” defined as “crybaby deflector” in standard American English?
-
4
-
21
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
I linked to this episode’s Watch What Crappens recap upthread. Ronnie I think made the point that Teddi is embarrassed she was eagerly shit-talking Dorit and wants to blame LisaV for getting worked up and junior highish. But that is entirely on her and it’s really deeply telling that she’s blaming LisaV for feelings and motivation that predates the Kemsleys getting any dog. I think a smart person wouldn’t retain Teddi for anything like coaching or whatever TF “philosophy” (LOL) she uses as the basis to separate fools from their cash.
Teddi would seem totally reasonable to never forgive Dorit for the glass bullshit. Dorit lying about meetup times is gross, but the thing she did with the glass is attempt refinement-based humiliation of someone else on camera and it’s something I’d say is unforgivable for life, as one doesn’t recover and become a better person in my experience if they see fit to argue “you are below me because your server made an inconsequential error.” Like, ever. So Teddi would be fine writing Dorit off forever - why can’t she admit that? This “scheme” happened before these fools saw each other and their kids became buds.
Teddi’s stupid business model rests 100% on the concept of accountability. A bedrock foundation of being an adult accountable for your life, let alone your dietary and exercise choices, is that your feelings are your responsibility! LisaV is manipulative but her business model is “marry young and very well and live a pink-colored puppy-dominated life.” It ain’t the same thing.
A necessary corollary to “if you know better, you do better,” is “those who know better are worse people when they knowingly do worse.” Teddi fronts still like she’s a better person who never told a lie. But she’s lying - not even necessarily about her textses (even though maybe she is). She’s lying about her feelings, motivations, and culpability in this stupidity because it’s a terrible look for her business to be mean, backbiting, immature, an idiot, and to engage in a gang-up of any sort on one woman. But Teddi’s done all of those things.
-
31
-
1 hour ago, biakbiak said:
It was mentioned several times that Lu lived in the Hamptons so is she forgoing her usual rent an apartment in the city for filming nonsense? If so between that and her not being able to secure a mortgage for the other house I am wondering about the state of her finances.
Wait, she couldn’t get a mortgage? Between the show and apparent success of her cabaret stuff, that surprises me.
On Sonja, again: she is now right by a couple of excellent bakeries, exceptional restaurants, and a WF and Williams-Sonoma. And Jazz at Lincoln Center! Even if it’s a nondescript high-rise on the outside, Sonja can change her life in a deep and meaningful way if she explores a little. I know she’s also a hop skip from Beautique... I’m just weirdly sentimental towards her now. Indentured servant barfery aside, she is now in livable, optimal space, and if she isn’t self-aware*** she can feel lonely and unmoored as before, which would be such a waste because in the here and now of her move, Lady Morgan can have a fresh start for real. It’s being handed to her given the show income and relative affordability of her new place even if she nets far less than she fantasized in renting out the townhouse. Sell it Sonja! Set yourself free for God’s sake!
*** (I know).
-
5
-
-
I’ve passed Sonja’s new building thousands of times. I actually like her place if not her improv blinds — over 1300 sf with an elevator and attended lobby, in-unit laundry, 2 beds/2 baths, pet-friendly and close to the park, is great for a single woman and teen daughter and pup, and so much less stressful than her townhouse. I detest Sonja’s high-handedness and snobbery but I’m genuinely happy for her. I think she should work with trustworthy experts and sell her townhouse ASAP, and purchase a place with those stats. That old home should be made into memories; the issue of renovations, debts, the parking garage —- if she let it go she would be so much better off. The house is an albatross.
Dorinda, damn, please see yourself clearly. I’d say the same to Lu but she never will.
Ramona’s apartment looks so cold to me. Sterile, both homes. Lu’s Sag Harbor home is so lovely....a shame.
-
15
-
-
What do Jason’s relatives have to do with Bryn’s rejection from a private school? Nothing!
If the school rejected Bryn for family reasons, it’s crazy to think that was based on literally anything beyond either the level of acrimony her parents show one another, or not wanting to be associated in any remote way, because it would be remote, with a television show or unusual press.
-
13
-
-
Haven’t listened yet, but Ronnie and Ben’s Dorit accents bring me such joy.
-
3
-
-
The woman who confronted Dorit during this actual part of their Baha Mar vacation is a UK TV personality named Jasmine Lennard. Tamara Tattles rolled up Lennard’s vacation-contemporaneous Tweets into paragraphs on this entry, including the video where an off-camera Lennard confronts Dorit (in her yellow bikini) and Rinna (in her white maillot) over the debt allegedly owed by the Kemsleys to Lennard’s close friend, a man named Ryan who invested in Beverly Beach by Dorit. It’s epic. Also of note:
- Lennard says PK propositioned her years back
- She claims PK and her ex (not the allegedly ripped-off Beverly Beach investor) almost caught charges for financial crimes on a prior PK cock-up
- She claims they lifted their kids’ names from her - Lennard has a 6 year old named Phoenix and she tattooed that name on her clavicle
...and there’s more. Lennard is apparently wholly unafraid to Tell Her Story (tm Erika and Teddi).
-
9
-
11
-
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
Erika and Teddi conspiring on the links about how Teddi should Tell Her Story is like so bad-ass brave and inspiring. Hos must carry the truth of their failed plot advancement to Hos of the future lest the future hos also be bested by a slightly bouffanted wily Brit fifteen years their senior!
“I’m protecting my kids! Go away fuckers!,” says Lisa Look At My “Model” Daughter’s Insta-Resolved Anorexia Rinna, to exonerate the execrable child-protecting Doridiot. Okay!!!
Dorit’s foob skin looked as stressed as her creditors when she was snorkeling.
My young kid recently told me a joke, over dinner, before dessert. It went like this:
Kiddo: Why did the bear say he didn’t want dessert?
Me: I don’t know....why?
Kiddo: Because the bear was lying! (Cackles hysterically, asks for a popsicle)
I feel that the above was a more deft A, then B, then C, than anything Kyle, Teddy, Lisar or Dorit said on this and last week’s episode.
Praise be, Camille. When she actually lets go, she can make sense. Kyle is snide and insecure and says shitty stuff, Taylor was a manipulative...thing...with her abuse narratives, and Faye is the pulled-face embodiment of the vomiting emoji.
-
8
-
29
-
Don’t know what the truth is. I do know I’d never trust Rinna about this. Ever.
-
14
-
-
- Popular Post
I don’t think Rinna, Dorit, or Erika are good people at all. ETA: if I’m being honest, Teddi and Kyle aren’t fundamentally good people either. Teddi is a disingenuous shit for shilling bullshit sponsor teas while being Miss Accountability, and for pulling on Lisa’s heartstrings to hire her thuggish lil’ brother at TomTom and then piling on now when Lisa’s obviously a mess. She’s also not slick, so instead of being a manipulator, she’s being a liar, sorry not sorry. And for Kyle, I mean, that “Kyle’s the sniper” site laid it out fairly well, and her friendship with Faye will always be damning. I also think she made a terrible decision with how she handled a lot of Kim’s awful tenure on this mess, so.
I saw elsewhere that someone quite recently allegedly Tweeted something horrible at Erika about her son, and it was presumed to have been sent by a sicko LVP fan. There’s no proof of that element, and I shuddered to see the Beverly Hills Pity ME Wars of 2019 have already begun. Ugh. I suppose the opening salvo was Doridiot (I love you posters!) trying to coax tears that weren’t never gonna come at the last supper of the Jasmine margarita.
Erika’s pique over being criticized about her condolences - which, yes! Is off-putting! - made me wonder how well she handles actual serious shit. She’s an empty creep and I cannot imagine having that person as my spouse or mom.
-
26
-
I don’t think most of our Beverly hos look good at all - they are as a class overdone; too much expensive but ill-coordinated clothing and jewelry for “looks” plus too much fake hair plus too much makeup plus getting too many fillers and too many laser resurfacing treatments. Newp for me. I’m also finding they look too sinewy-overexercised as a class. It’s just unappealing to me. It’s just not cute on a beach vacation, any of it.
I’m excluding Denise for the most part, and truly none of the above applies to MVP Friend of Camille Donatacci Grammer, who still moves and somehow has a body like Club MTV is taping next week - and her clothes and styling are impeccably on-point. No glam squad necessary - and she’s probably spending in the Kyle-Erika shopaholic range but the broad has taste.
-
11
-
-
I was moved and impressed with how straightforward, understanding, and loving Denise was in describing the special needs of her youngest daughter. Whatever shakes out courtesy of the eternal wellspring of soul-damaging crap that is this franchise, Denise is a great person.
-
22
-
-
26 minutes ago, Midnight Cheese said:
-
2
-
1
-
-
I don’t have the bod or the tiger’s blood-fueled ex, but it’s like I am Denise Richards. What the hell was happening at that table? Why did dumb Erika ruin Denise’s massage afterglow with her piss-poor Bond Girl recall? Poor Denise trying to enjoy her non-glam-squad managed or purloined (DORIT) vacation clothes and a damned margarita.
Dorit and Rinner are sociopaths. Lisa VP is manipulative but I don’t care. Dorit the scammer effectuated a rescued dog reentering a kill shelter. Rinner’s daughter-ruining disordered ass knows it. I hope Dorit and Rinner each OD on “pasta.” Ugh.
-
4
-
17
-
-
I don’t believe Hamlin wrote that post, either. I lurk in these BH threads in part because the rumor, however unfounded, of his love triangle with Rinner and another ex, was pretty horrific. Lisa’s kind of creepy.
-
8
-
-
Hunter Hunted, I love you and don’t disagree, fundamentally even a little bit, about people finding their way and their joy in less-known paths, post JD - it’s what I’ve done, too. I don’t think it applies to Jackie, who I personally find uniquely insincere and disingenuous. I’m lifting again, cropping a bit, from a genius poster at Lipstick Alley - he or she summed up my issues with Jackie:
QuoteShe admitted that her own parents were criminals yet continues to talk about Teresa and her husband. She involved herself in Melissa and Teresa’s family issues but hasn’t spoken to her own sister in 15 years. She judges Jennifer for being a one upper but has bragged about her law degree all season. She made light of Teresa being a best selling author but boasts about her raggedy little newspaper column. Her brother is mentally handicapped yet she continues to take shots at Teresa’s intelligence. The truth is Jackie is underwhelming in all aspects of life so that law degree is the only thing she has to hold on to. She’s unattractive, boring, pretentious, insufferable and thirsty for fame. She’s envious of Teresa’s popularity on the show and views her as a threat. She fails to realize that anyone can get a degree but not everyone can be popular. There’s nothing endearing, remarkable or memorable about Jackie and her ugly family. She’s a know it all who really doesn’t know shit.
I’m not quite as vehement, believe it or not, but I see no lies detected in that poster’s description of Jackie. And FWIW, I actually mean it when I say of course one should use her degree or not use it at all - signed, superfan of Elie Mystal’s media appearances and Ken Jeong’s acting.
-
2
-
-
Some of the posters on Lipstick Alley have given some tea about thirsty Jackie:
QuoteI got some tea on Miss Jackie. Her maiden name is Mark which is a coincidence since Melissa is Marco. Also, she did know Siggy since they live in the same town and are FB friends. However, in one of her first blog posts she called Soggy out writing that “there’s a new Jewish chick in town but this one isn’t a crier”. I kind of want Siggy to come back to see them feuding now. Still though, as much as I love how articulate and sharp Jackie is she does act super holier and though when she’s desperate and thirsty deep down.
“I’m tougher than Siggy and smarter than Teresa!”
Jackie is a fake, trite, asshole, who can only go for low-hanging fruit. She’s nowhere near as bright as she thinks she is. And while I hope she’s one and done, I’m confident she’ll bury her actual real-life social life and degrade herself fully with additional seasons, so, hilarity will ensue either way.
-
6
-
-
So Jackie is proud of walking away from graduating from Fordham and getting licensed, to writing trite pennysaver-level essays, vanquishing Mrs. Ingredientses* in verbal putdowns, and otherwise representing intellectuals on Bravo’s most doy** Housewives franchise? Not to get too Shania in a catsuit, but LOL. Not impressive. She’s just a sister-user Look At My Eating Disorder snore who couldn’t hack associate life exactly when her performance would matter most. There’s no shame whatsoever in that last bit, right up until she acts like she’s RBG x Didion, and, uh, no. I’ll leave it at that. Her life story is BTDT absolutely everywhere in the tristate. LOL again.
* Tre is awful. None of that makes Hungry Thirsty Boring User Jackie one bit better. Pathetic.
** Thousands of miles away, Vicki flares her enormous nostrils and clicks Add To Cart on a trophy for a new Le Tip award.
-
1
-
7
-
-
I haven’t watched this in a while, but it seems I chose a good time to start up again.
I don’t even know what to write about Teresa. She may be the hub of the show, but Bravo always taketh away what it had giveth, so naturally we get multiple damning clips indicating OF COURSE Juicy was unrepentantly cheating and humiliating her. She can blame Marge all she likes but...hell.
I like Marge. Can’t help it. She really has no shame in her game - wears a bathing suit (and looks good) without agonizing over being skinny, warm to her ex’s gf (and I know given her infidelity she should be but still), and eats during a verbal fight. Her charity event was well-done, and I like that she didn’t reinvent the wheel and worked with an expert who’d already created the gowns. It’s a great idea.
I used to feel so sorry for Danielle and still do, but she’s just vicious to a degree that I can’t get, whatever ratio is attributed to active mental illness, or personality disorder, or character. She also seems to be starving herself with the food restrictions. I didn’t watch the episodes before the wedding and don’t even understand how the engagement to legal separation could happen so fast - WTF happened? What do you armchair therapists believe is wrong with her? She was sort of pitiable season one, no? Or am I misremembering? What a burden on her kids.
If you haven’t, treat yoself to the Watch What Crappens podcast recaps; their impression of Dr. Evil/Bill is precious. Jennifer is....what can one say. How old is she? How old is everyone? Having Jennifer do her own tequila infused blink blink blink fighting against the older, wiser, wittier Marge is some kind of Mutual of Omaha sponsored tragedy,
-
3
-
-
How can I put this gently? Well, I can't, as I lack couth at self-selected times and enjoy it: fuck Icki the idiot with a chainsaw, and not gently. She can take her busted can of biscuits cancer-scamming, seared Spam-faced self off the goddamned show if she wants to try and get into some kind of duel about legitimate careers. She'd disinter the corpses of a million activist nuns for a ducat - or their SSNs, to claim policies on their eternal souls. Fuck her and fuck the apolgias, and LOgenuineL at that. Please. The ho is a relic, a walking ghoul-remnant of the worst of American culture, the "perfect vaginer" (thanks, Crooks! Enjoy the teef!) equivalent of the Slade Smileys who thought they were boiling-hot shit until the payments came due on the NINJA loans. And unlike Ms. Dodd, Queen Bitch has spent every season insisting she's smarter, savvier, more literate in the ways of business and the world, than everyone else. She's nothing. Just Joanne the Scammer with less of a stache and much less charm. The only fitting end of this series will be her in an assisted care facility with the bills prepaid until 2075 and zero visitors.
Thank you to Kung Fu Bunny for turning me on to Watch What Crappens. I hope Gina Casita (LOVE) gets herself an Ungather and Divorce sign set from TJ Maxx, along with no alimony and a dx of the clap.
Emily Stank Face needs a shrink. And meds. And maybe a divorce?
When did Shannon get Pat Healy's teeth (There's Something About Mary). Ugh.
When did Tamrat's boobs fuse into one baguette-shaped menace? Good god.
For those missing Mme Dubrow: I checked out her podcast and beyond her vapidity and outsized materialism, homegirl is boring. So boring. Ugh part deux. Or deuce, as Autocorrect correctly suggests.
-
12
-
-
I cannot believe that frigging Instagram horse crap between Cassandra Grey and Carole. IDIOTS. Gross, snobby, mean, idiots. And I tasted Skinnygirl margarita once and my limited home training is all that stopped me from spewing a fine mist of low-cal yuck at my companions; I can barely abide Beth (her work in PR softened me).
Good riddance, Carole. Tins is many times the human you are, and she can handle her fears with grace. Booyah, um, beauty product committee cheerleader or whatever the hell “fills” your days.
-
22
-
S11.E03: It's a Clam Shame
in The Real Housewives Of New York City
· Edited by Midnight Cheese
Ramona boosted her hostess gift of wine when they left, right? Cheap tacky thieving loser. God damn! I need smelling salts.
Seeing her bow legged skeedadling to their Uber like a not-slick thief in the dusk...what if Victor Hugo imagined Jean Valjean as a pot-bellied, crooked-nosed, bug-eyed skank?