Mike p.

It would be a mercy if someone sat this woman down to explain that not every photo must be another damned selfie, and that not every selfie requires your mug crammed into it up front. A mercy.

Some typical Audrey proofreading failures. I count two. If you find more, you're the blessed winner. Have fun!

Oh, Jesus. Snoop around this guy a bit. He's a spare-the-rod, spoil-the-child Christian disciplinarian, a participant in Focus On the Family nonsense, anti-gay, anti-transexual, endorsed by a savant from Duck Dynasty, a dealer in scary hyperbole about the failure of modern-day parents, a sneerer at parenting not Bible-based, the bane of child services workers everywhere. In other words, exactly the glittering gem that would attract the eye of witless Jeremy Roloff.

I don't know how she could go to a gay movie like that. Just shocking. Say it ain't so, Amy! I hope she covered her eyes for the three or four seconds it took for that scene to pass by. Any decent person would.

We lost a beloved pet, and in almost every sense it was like losing a member of the family. The grief is real. And you don't just snap out of it. I hope that no one in that absurd, self-absorbed family will attempt to discount the grief that Tori will experience.

Well, he's definitely an innovator. The way he mounted those spy cameras, for instance, was true innovation—without the brackets and wires and all that silly nonsense. The mark of an innovator! And don't forget the bomb shelter. He made that thing virtually disappear among the trees. And he rigged up a hidden alarm system to warn occupants—and only occupants—if intruders got near. And those escape doors that swung outward from inside: by sheer willpower he willed that no bad guys would ever block those doors to keep Roloffs from getting away. That's not just innovation, that's cerebral too.

I'm waiting for the Crazy Dayz Clearance Sale. Edit: We were tossing this around the other day. My wife thought that for Utah, they could have a three-for-one sale.

Price drop! Down to $19.99! https://shop.beating50percent.com/products/navigators-council And you can't get it yet. It's on "Pre-Order" status—whatever that is.

Audrey has an unfortunate smile. Typically, it looks more like a grimace than a smile, and can even look like an animal baring its teeth in warning. (Seriously. I'm not being mean.) It also never looks sincere. If you have a Giada De Laurentis cookbook, you will see the same thing in her face shots. If Audrey were otherwise remarkable (she isn't) and employed at a modeling agency, a coach would have worked with her on the "smile problem."

With those sunglasses, nobody will recognize her.

Well, why not? If it's for Jesus . . .

We should organize a baby shower along these and similar themes. I can start with an actual round Earth globe.

A baby that learns to read would be a slap in Jeremy's face.

I want to warn Milquetoast Chris—if he's reading this—to be sure to watch at least the first four seasons of the show before he goes much further into this stuff, to see the REAL Amy Roloff. I guarantee, Chris (if that's really your name), it's a whole different picture.

Jeremy should order a 40-foot equestrian statue of Matt, bronze, the horse rearing on its hind legs. The would seal the deal, I'm sure.