Ilovecomputers

My remarks were meant to be humorous.

I've seen panty liner commercials demonstrate how absorbent they are by dumping glasses of water on them, and I've seen pepto bismal ads with illustrations of stomachs ("coats and soothes"), so how come we don't get to see an illustration of a curved penis?

A friend of mine uses different levels, or parts, of a douche to describe people: douche, douche bag and douche nozzle. I believe the worst level is when she calls people douche nozzles but I should get clarification.

Don't know the name of the prescription medicine, but there's a commercial for an eczema medication that talks about how itchy one feels and then goes on to show creepy crawly things all over one's skin, like ants. I really didn't need the visual--I understand feeling itchy. Could I talk with the person(s) who created this ad? Perhaps they don't understand the concepts of nauseating and irritating, and I could demonstrate that for them.

Geez, how did some of these "chefs" get on this show? The guy with the green hair couldn't fashion a scarecrow and the know-it-all girl didn't know what a hockey mask looked like! Even if you haven't watched hockey games, the murderer in Halloween wore a hockey mask. Their presentation skills are lacking, too. I would try out for the show except I'm not "perky" enough and I can't be away from my job for weeks on end. Lorraine in that woodland fairy costume looked great. "Mozart" looked like Beetlejuice. Why do I watch this show? (head in hands)

I used to have a blind neighbor, complete with a seeing-eye dog ("Pilot"). While in my car one day, I saw them in the distance as I was arriving home. Without thinking, I waved at them. HE WAVED BACK. I sat in my garage and pondered that for awhile.

Geez, I could make better worms and snakes as a child with play-dough--how is it that these bakers struggled to make one with fondant? I'm surprised they didn't whip out the always-present rice krispy treat for a base. I'm not wild about any of the bakers except maybe the guy from the Virgin Islands and that young girl seems to want to impress by throwing out every baking term and technique there is. It is a relief not to see Lorraine bickering with Carla or anyone else. Who is the guy judge in the middle? Never heard of him and I've never seen him on FN. Must be some past winner of "New Food Network Star."

I thought Natasha's cake was gorgeous and her little leprechaun legs were cute, but they said her cake had very little flavor. Even though the judges complained about her pastel colors, they were still shades of rainbow colors. Really, Taylor should have won because of her colors and flavors and she spent some time on sugar cookies dusted with gold rather than dumping crumbs in the bowl as they others did. I have a feeling Matthew turns on the tears whenever he doesn't get his way. I would have preferred to see Izzy in the finale.

I have a great deal of compassion for sick children and abused animals but those ASPCA commercials and St. Jude's are on for about 5 minutes. Recently I looked after a loved one who had knee replacement surgery, and those ASPCA commercials were on heavy rotation. One would start, something like, "It was an extremely hot day as we drove up the long road..." and go on to tell about some neglected/abused dogs on a ranch or something. Anyway, whenever I heard that, "It was an extremely hot day..." it was my cue to jump up and help my patient get dressed, get in the shower, or some other task that took a long time.

I feel that way about Julia Roberts. Thank you! She does those perfume ads that seem to air only around the holidays and I have no idea why she was chosen. She walks like a linebacker and I don’t even think she has unconventional beauty. Wasn’t she chosen by People magazine as a most beautiful three different times? She dumped Benjamin Bratt? (Sigh.). That’s something I would have never done. Girl is stupid, too.

Seems like Duff kept saying “macaroons” rather than “macarons.” All in all, a boring episode. I’m glad there’s enough time every episode for what’s her name to redo her desserts. Natasha for the win. Matthew’s gonna have a meltdown if he doesn’t win. It’s a tough industry, kid. Good luck to you and all the bakers. Izzy seemed like a really young 12 year old to me.

If she'd stop filling her lips, she'd lose another 10!

Looks like they've replaced Jim Krasinski in the E-surance commercials with Dennis Quaid, and Dennis says in the ad it's because of his likeability factor. Well, I suppose I like Dennis Quaid better than the guy who does one of the truck commercials. Can't think of his name, but he says "pal" a lot. "We didn't just raise the bar, pal, we are the bar." I don't like to be called "pal", "honey", or--when I'm with my husband--"folks." I like Dennis better than the stupid toilet paper commercial bears and any of the Sonic ad people, but I don't like Dennis Quaid all that much. I'm trying to think of my dream-commercial spokesperson, and I'm coming up blank.

It was a requirement in my driver's ed that you could change a flat tire. I actually had to have a note signed by my dad verifying that I could. These days the lug nuts are put on with air wrenches, and I'm not sure I could.

Yeah, probably the same person who told me to look up something else on a work computer that should have set off alarm bells. Luckily, I was ready to use the excuse that another poster suggested: "I thought it was related to FMLA."

It really shouldn't be a consideration. It is about the best baker, and it shouldn't matter that there were 5 boys in a row. The thing about those stupid twists is that they always come at the last minute--even an adult would be stumped to incorporate ginger with everything.

I almost feel sorry for this generation coming up. By and large, they seem to have every material advantage but don't seem better off for it. Makes me think of that young girl that bought all the stuff on Amazon without per parents' permission. The tone of the newspaper articles was, "Isn't she precocious?" No, she's a spoiled brat.

This is a terrible thing for me to say, but whenever I hear "Head and Shoulders" I think of that show "Mad Men." One of the characters' father died in a plane crash, and people at his office were talking about it. "I had no idea his father had dandruff." "What?" "Yeah, they found his Head and Shoulders on the beach." I'm surprised they don't put the days of the week on the disposable underwear too. Because we older folks can keep track of the days, either.

Upside to the show: Duff gave the kids (and me) a lesson in a candy illusion cake which is more beneficial than 99% of their challenges. Downsides to the show: 1) I really can't bear to see the kids crying all the time. 2) Valerie needs a stylist fast. Shoot, I though I wore dowdy clothes. She makes me look like I'm hip. The way she was dressed the other night I thought she was ready to sweep out the garage. She's a big gal now/again, and she needs to wear clothes that are more flattering. I noticed signs to the right of the cakes and thought, "Oh, that's how they remember the names of all of these kids." But then, the sign didn't always match up with the kid, so I don't know what their purpose was.

Upside to the show: Duff gave the kids (and me) a lesson in a candy illusion cake which is more beneficial than 99% of their challenges. Downsides to the show: 1) I really can't bear to see the kids crying all the time. 2) Valerie needs a stylist fast. Shoot, I though I wore dowdy clothes. She makes me look like I'm hip. The way she was dressed the other night I thought she was ready to sweep out the garage. She's a big gal now/again, and she needs to wear clothes that are more flattering. I noticed signs to the right of the cakes and thought, "Oh, that's how they remember the names of all of these kids." But then, the sign didn't always match up with the kid, so I don't know what their purpose was.

Yes, my husband and I talked about that very thing; that is, going into work every day and facing a big stack of boxes of poop to open and examine. Then it's lunchtime! Makes me think of the Jane Russell ad we used to laugh about when we were little girls. The 18-hour bra "lifted and separated." I guess I am not so bosomy to have my breasts ever crowding each other unless I wear a push-up bra that "lifts and mushes together."

ID had a contest once where you could win a role as a corpse or something in one of their grisly crime shows. I wanted so much to win, but unfortunately I did not. I tell you, it does require some skill to play a corpse because we watched a grisly crime show the other day and the "corpse" was breathing. That is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

The only Subaru commercial you cannot despise is the one with the dog who doesn't trust the new boyfriend until he sees the boyfriend wrap a jacket around the woman's shoulders at a campfire.

That finale was one of the lamest ones I've ever seen. I've never been to the studios where FN is filmed, but could they really not find one engaged couple to feature instead of Tara and her husband? Besides, as others have noted, this is a WEDDING CAKE championship, not a first year anniversary cake championship. It was always a tradition in my family for people to save one of the tiers from their wedding cake and have it on their first anniversary, but I guess Tara's family doesn't do that. It was really revolting to hear about their AMAZING wedding and AMAZING flowers and all the AMAZING details from their wedding. Tara, we really only care about the details in weddings of those near and dear to us. The colosseums all looked crude. I did like the idea of the bicycle with the basket but everything looked sloppy and rushed. I'm sorry the smug bakers who laughed at the other team won. They were my least favorite team. What in the world did those people do for, what, seven hours?

Oh, my. I looked up FUPA on a company computer. I'm sure there are alarms going off in the back room and I'll be counseled about this.