imisspuddy

To all of you, my friends, here - My mother passed away peacefully early yesterday morning just before 6. There aren't words sufficient to thank you for your kind words and sentiments. They have lifted me up. It means more to me than you will ever know. I will be back when I can. To all in harm's way today and to all of you in pain - my thoughts are with you and my prayers are for you.

Thank you so much , Seahag!! Yes, Thumper. Thankfully, she is close by and I'm spending as much time as I can with her. Today I played her favorite music for her. Her opera and Elvis. She always called him her boyfriend. ;) She is sleeping mostly and slipping away, but I think somehow she knows. Thank you so much, Carpe!! Of course, TT. She has had dementia for 10 years. I've taken care of her since my father and brother died 23 yrs ago. I moved her to a wonderful dementia facility 8 years ago where she had a rebirth of sorts. Sounds funny writing that! But the kids and I (they were very young then!) really got to enjoy her again. Then 6 years ago after she broke her hip, I had to move her to a nursing home. The staff there have loved her dearly and been great with her. They and the other residents who are able have been coming in to say goodbye. They have told me how much they love her, always with tears in their eyes Her dementia has progressed to the point where she can't physically swallow any longer. Many years ago I got all her affairs in order. Her wishes were no extreme measures. I have taken no extreme measures. After my father died, i promised her I would never leave her alone. I have never left her alone. It has been the longest goodbye. Ladies, thank you. I don't know if I've made any sense at all, but writing all of this out has helped so much. Your caring and concern are overwhelming thank you

I'm almost afraid to post anything OT on the other forum any more, so I'll post this here only. My mother is dying. And i can't even put together a coherent post. Cricket, Pearlclutcher, Bronx Babe - sending love and prayers. And for everyone in Irma's path - sending love and prayers.

@BronxBabe - I PM'd you.

@Cricket and Joe and @PearlClutcher so sorry for what you are both going through. My prayers are with you. Sending hugs and love. xo

Oh, Seahag - I feel your pain! It once took my husband 4 years - yes, 4 years, to change a light bulb in garage. Hope you heal quickly!!

Ladies! I'll go into the way back machine: The Big Valley. Last episode of first season - Last Train to the Fair. Cricket - have you heard anything yet?? Worried about you. {{ }} Booney - congratulations!! Dang - completely forgot last episode of RHONY was on!!!

I love that you placed the CD in your bible. I do things like that. I believe that things have positive/negative energy, and for me, you can't get much better than the bible! And if it keeps your Joe from looking at it, all the better. I love that passage from Matthew. You stay focused on that. I have not had a PET scan. I have friends who have. No one said anything bad about it, if that helps. One person told me that she shook uncontrollably through all of hers. I understand this. My last biopsies, I did the same thing. You already know how normal that is, because when you're dealing with cancer, nothing is normal. I'll be thinking of you both on Monday and sending good thoughts your way. I also listen(ed) to inspirational CDs, affirmations, etc, because you really don't get much sleep on weekends like this...and it helped keep me more positive than not. Sending hugs -

My dearest BB, I am so very, very sorry. I am so glad that you were able to get her into hospice and also to speak with your brother. Rest knowing you did everything possible to make your mother as comfortable as possible. My deepest condolences. May God's strength and peace see you through. Thank you for allowing us to share this time with you. xoxo

I'm so glad you did and that it turned out the way it did. It sounds like, hopefully, some of the anxiety surrounding him will lessen and now you can just concentrate on being with your mother.

BB: Once again, we are in a similar position. Tell your brother. Perhaps Hospice can be the one to make the call. I am hoping that when the time comes, the nursing home or hospice will make the call for me. That way you know you did all you could and no one can come back and excuse you of anything. Hugs. Lord Donia: Sending hugs and good thoughts.

My dear, sweet Bronxoni, . She knows. She knows. Sending love and hugs. I am holding you close. xo

I think you and I should move to the Italian Riviera!!! And bring my Vikki Carr album along... You aren't being paranoid, you are being a realist. I would absolutely believe that hospice has only your mom's best interest at heart. They are not the nursing home staff with so many patients to care for/sign off on. They come in specifically to be with her and help her. I'm sorry, I don't remember where you are located or where your mom is, but here outside of Boston, the hospice workers I have heard of are truly dedicated and wonderful people. It is more of a vocation for them and they take their work quite seriously. I'm not disparaging nursing home workers; it's just a different sort of work.

Walnut Queen - my deepest sympathy also. You are right. We aren't really the first generation. We lived with my grandparents. My parents took care of them all until they died. Maybe part of the difference is that our parents are more independent and we don't live together with parents/grandparents as we did in the past. My grandmothers didn't even drive. Put that together with advances in medical technology, raising a young family at the same time (as I did), and the fact that there isn't much health or care in "healthcare" and you have all the ingredients necessary for a nervous breakdown! The hospice your mother was in sounds wonderful and I am glad she was in such a nice place. It must have made a tremendously difficult time just a bit more bearable.

OMG!!!! Are you kidding!!! She was the first singer I remember seeing on TV as a very little girl. I have ALWAYS been in love with Vikki. I would play her album every Saturday morning while dusting the house. I still have that album. "It Must Be Him" ALL time favorite. Still know every word to every song. And I can't even remember what I ate for breakfast... :)