BookWoman56
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9 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:
No, I am retired. The shift away from browsing collections is one of the reasons I did. It's part of the whole de-skilling of the branch library system (not just NYPL either). How to explain this briefly, hmmm.
[snip]
Most of this isn't true today. The supervisor of the branch is now the Branch Manager, and this title doesn't require a college degree. Because of this, it doesn't pay as well as the Branch Librarian title used to. There are no more Senior Clerks, since all clerks can now apply to be Branch Managers. Oh, and Branch Managers are not part of the collective bargaining unit (yes, the union agreed to this) and can be fired at will without going through any kind of formal hearing. A central committee picks out all the books for everyone. It's possible to order titles for your branch, but you will run into the immediate problem of the other recently adopted policy of Floating Collections - meaning anything a patron returns to a branch, stays at that branch unless someone has placed a hold on it. This is particularly disastrous for branches outside of midtown Manhattan with smaller budgets since the children's books in particular will be checked out on the weekend and returned to one of the midtown branches by one of the parents during the week. These midtown branches will be flooded with books that don't fit on the shelves. The policy for making all the books fit is to ruthlessly weed out anything more than a couple of years old.
Why pay librarians when you can just redesign the job so that anyone with a high school diploma and no library experience can do it.
This is crazy. A gazillion years ago, I was friends in grad school with a few people who were getting their master’s degrees in library science/management, but they all eventually took positions with university libraries. I was teaching freshman composition at the time and our syllabus included taking students to the university library and having one of the reference librarians give them a tour and explain the services they offered.
I’m appalled that this dumbing down of the job requirements has happened in public libraries and sincerely hope it doesn’t spread to university libraries or other specialized libraries. There is a huge need in any library for knowledgeable staff.
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1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:
It definitely peeves me when people who have never had kids have anything to say about "the right way" to rear them. People who have only one kid and try to tell people with more than one kid how to deal with that dynamic should check themselves too!
I understand where you’re coming from, but you don’t have to be a parent to know that if a set of parents treats one kid like crap and a different kid is treated as the golden child growing up, there’s a good chance that once the kid who was treated like crap is grown, that kid is going to resent its sibling and despise its parents. There are aspects of parenting where hands-on experience helps tremendously, and then there’s aspects where common sense should suffice. Sadly, a lot of parents seem to lack common sense.
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On 7/18/2021 at 4:36 PM, Quof said:I have posted, probably many times, about my childhood as the unpaid housekeeper in the family home, while my brother The Golden One had no chores whatsoever. He was prone to throwing his dirty laundry toward the hamper, rather than walking over and opening the lid. Finally, in a moment of rebellion, I announced I was not going to pick his dirty laundry off the floor, and the least he could do was put it in the proper place. That lasted about a day, before I was told in forceful (yeah, physical force) terms that I would indeed pick up his dirty laundry, along with unrolling the sleeves, unballing the socks and emptying the pockets. Cuz boys don't do that stuff, that's women's work.
This mindset is undoubtedly responsible for all the relationship advice posts on Reddit that boil down to, “My boyfriend and I are both mid- to late 20s and both have full-time jobs. We moved in together a year ago, and he refuses to do any household chores other than taking out the trash. He spends his evenings and weekends gaming, while I handle cooking, cleaning, and so forth. His parents reinforce this behavior by telling me that he deserves to relax after work, and that housework is the woman’s responsibility. What should I do?”
My favorite answer so far: Pack up his clothes and belongings, and drop him and his stuff at his parents’ house. Inform them they have failed to raise a functioning adult and need to start over.
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On 7/15/2021 at 7:49 PM, Bastet said:
Going back to cashiers having to know all those produce codes, I just came from my local market, where I picked up some peanuts and eight types of produce. None of those eight were among the things that have a sticker or band with the code on it, so the cashier had to know them all (and she did). Because this recent discussion was on my mind, I took a bit of a glance around even at stuff I wasn't buying today, and very little of the produce I regularly buy does have the code on it anywhere - mostly just the apples.
My grocery store has little placards for each bin of produce, with the price and the product code printed on it. At each end of the produce aisle, there are scales to weigh the produce, and you type in the product code, it calculates the price based on weight or asks you how many items, and prints out a scannable sticker to put on the bag of produce. I have some reusable mesh produce bags that have a designated place for the sticker. There are customers who can’t be bothered to do this, and then get annoyed if the cashier has to look up the product code. I’m mostly doing curbside pickup of groceries now, but when I shop in the store itself, I definitely print out the price stickers for my produce.
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I don’t think it will be a major problem to get them out; they definitely want their own place and have finally overcome some obstacles to doing so. The timing might be more of an issue, but they’re going later this week to meet with a realtor some 4-5 hours away, which is fine by me. But I knew if I didn’t give them a deadline, they would procrastinate like crazy. I do have some goodwill left for my sister because she helped a lot when our mother needed full-time care. For my BIL, not at all.
I will need to wait until my daughter finishes her master’s degree before moving. I understand I might get a higher price if I sell right now, but it would be pointless to buy another house right now just for roughly 18 months and then have to turn around and move. I would also probably end up paying an inflated price for a different house right now, and possibly not be able to recoup the price in 18 months. Rental houses are hard to find at the moment, plus I have 2 dogs and 2 cats, which just makes finding anything more challenging. So once my sister and BIL are gone, I can focus on some small repair projects and getting my current house prepped to sell quickly once I put it on the market.
I’ll be fine in a couple of months, just ready for a return to normalcy.
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@WinnieWinkle, I feel for you. My mother had been living with me for almost 2 years before she died in late 2019, and I’m still going through some of her stuff. It was fairly easy to go through her clothes and donate those to charity, and decide to keep some furniture and her china, silverware, and crystal, etc. But I need to force myself to go through some paperwork and shred everything except a few pages of medical history that might be relevant to my siblings and me. Since your father has sold the condo, that gives you more of a time crunch.
On a slightly related matter, I haven’t posted much here for the past several months or even responded to a lot of posts. My mother had asked me to do what I could to help my younger sister, and I have done so but now hit my limit. For background, my younger sister has been a hot mess since we were kids, and it’s gotten worse as she’s gotten older. She was widowed fairly young, but about 15 years ago she and a high school boyfriend reconnected and got married. He is a total jerk, whose health has deteriorated significantly in the past few years due to alcoholism and heavy smoking, plus significant mental health problems. So, cirrhosis, hepatitis, COPD, BPD…and the list goes on. He’d been unable to work for a while and finally got approved for some kind of disability benefits. Their housing situation was horrible, and so I offered to let them stay with me for a while until they could get stabilized a little and then move into a new place of their own. They moved in last October, and my life has been absolute hell since then. So a couple of weeks ago, I told her that they need to be in their own place by the end of August. I just can’t deal with them anymore, more so my BIL than my sister.
I sat down with my daughter a couple of days ago and we made plans. In about a year and a half, she’ll be starting a doctoral program most likely in one of two cities, both of which I would find acceptable as retirement locations. So at that point, I plan to sell my 4BR house here and buy a much smaller house in the city where she will do grad school. After the past few years, I need some major peace and quiet. I know that things will be better once my sister and BIL have moved out, but I feel very strongly that I want to be in a different place entirely.
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12 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:
It was one person!
I’m going to have words with him next visit. He comes once or twice a month to fish. He’s usually a very good guest and we have been friends 20 years. He’s around my daughter’s age and I consider him more like a son, but not close enough that I’m comfortable sharing germs with him. He dates and I don’t want whatever germs he might have from other people. I will be handing him a list of all the replacements he needs to buy.I can’t believe someone would do that, but if he’s prone to getting the munchies for ice cream, I would consider stocking up on the Ben & Jerry’s mini cups of various flavors, or the equivalent in another brand. I rarely buy the big containers of ice cream any longer and usually just get a bag of vanilla individual cups. But when I want a little variety, I grab some of the mini cups.
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2 hours ago, Bastet said:
I will definitely do that. I had emailed her a farewell message to read to her mom (her mom didn't want to see or talk to anyone in the end, either), but I will write something to her, and a little something to the rest of the family.
Years ago, the son of a colleague died suddenly in a hit and run. He and I had spent a week working together at a special event only a few weeks earlier, and we chatted a good bit during that time. After his death, I wrote a letter to his mother recounting a lot of the conversations we’d had, including his comments on his life so far and so forth, so she would have a sense of what he was thinking about in the weeks just before his death. She told me later that the letter was a huge comfort to her. If you’re able to, maybe write something sharing your fondest memories of this person and what she meant to you. Her family will undoubtedly get the standard condolences cards, but something more personalized will be more meaningful.
For meals or other items, you might wait a couple of weeks. There’s often a lot of stuff arriving initially, and then 2-3 weeks later, after the immediate pressure of dealing with a funeral and possibly visitors and so forth, sometimes the grief just rolls right back in. It can be hard to handle meals and so forth when life becomes routine again, but it’s a new routine without the loved one.
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On 6/14/2021 at 4:14 PM, shapeshifter said:
Not always. English language prepositions are tricky, and I have become very frustrated with tech support personnel who use prepositions that I suspect are incorrect, but, more importantly, change the meaning of the next step in resolving my printer (or other problem).
It’s not necessarily that English language prepositions are especially tricky. Which specific preposition is used in a specific context varies across languages. I work with people from several different countries, with a large variety of first languages, and even among those who have a first language in common, they sometimes use different prepositions for similar phrases because they’re from different regions. Even in English, for example, some people wait “in line” while others wait “on line.” All that said, though, using the “wrong” prepositions consistently is a good indication that the speaker/writer is not a native speaker.
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1 hour ago, WinnieWinkle said:
I get this but in some ways is this the best situation given that it has to be temporary? I mean theoretically the sons Federline and Spears have together will always have a different life style from Federline's other children but especially when the child support money runs out. Giving the other children a lifestyle their own parents can't support, possibly within the next 4 years, seems a little unfair. But hopefully Federline has made sure that the house is paid off and he can keep things going even without the child support because if it's true that he is only making about $3000 a month (I thought that's what I heard) there is going to be a really big change coming otherwise!
I think K-Fed’s other kids are in for a very rude awakening when the child support payments from Britney end. From what I read a few years ago, the increase he demanded in the amount was not just for a larger, nicer house but also so all the kids would receive similar quality of possessions, so for example Britney’s kids might get the newest, most expensive phone, then the other kids would get something comparable. But to me this is an approach that creates a sense of entitlement in the other kids. Because if K-Fed is pulling in only $3K a month, once the child support payments run out, no way he’s going to be able to drop the same kind of money for electronics and so forth on his other kids the way they have gotten used to.
I am unsure of the details but my impression is that Britney has gotten increased visitation in the past couple of years. Her family has obviously exploited her for financial reasons, and her father has been the primary person doing so. I find it appalling that her father gets to make reproductive choices for her. Also, no way would this conservatorship have occurred if she were male. FFS, if Kanye West is still running around making horrible choices in romantic partners and wasting money frivolously, Britney should absolutely have that same level of freedom.
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I’m currently looking at a 10-day forecast that consists primarily of “highs” in the mid to upper 90s, with one token cool day where the high will be only 90. Soon it will be that point when weather discussion focuses on how many days in a row it will hit 100 or higher. I am very grateful for my central air.
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On 5/21/2021 at 7:14 PM, WinnieWinkle said:
Today's peeve: stop telling me you don't like cottage cheese in lasagna and that it's not authentic. I Do Not Care. That's how my Mom made it and that's how her Mom made it and i already feel guilty enough because I use the no boil noodles (shh don't tell my Nana) . And further why do people care so much about stuff like this? If I'm not expecting you to cook it OR eat it what's your problem?
I apparently commit blasphemy every time I make lasagna these days. I used to make my own sauce first and then layer all the ingredients. Currently I use two jars of marinara sauce to one jar of Alfredo sauce, mixed with a large bag of shredded mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, the precooked noodles, and the other ingredients such as bell peppers and onions, spices, etc. I don’t care what other people think about it; it’s easy to make and tastes way better than a lot of lasagna I’ve had in restaurants.
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I’ve seen a lot of people complain about FedEx, but UPS (not to be confused with USPS) is somehow always the delivery service I have problems with. In the last year, it’s been: Package just disappeared off the face of the planet while in transit, twice (2 completely different orders). Only box 1 of a 2-box item arrived (the table top without the legs and hardware isn’t going to do me much good).
Today is doubly irritating. Package A is a couple of heavy boxes of materials for replacing my door molding upstairs. Got the “track your delivery on a live map” notification this morning. Four hours ago the live map showed the delivery truck about two streets over and six blocks away from my house. Since then, the truck has left my neighborhood entirely, gone to a small town down the road, and is only now one street over and a few blocks away. What sense does it make to have the same delivery truck go into a subdivision and deliver some stuff, leave and go 10 miles down the highway, and then return hours later to the same subdivision?
Package A arrived at the local distribution center around 5am and was loaded onto a delivery truck around 6:15am. Package B is a small box; it arrived at the local distribution center around 4am. It did not get loaded onto a delivery truck, and the most recent notification says it won’t be delivered until tomorrow. I just don’t see how this makes sense, that the package that made it to the distribution center later gets delivered today, while the one that got there later is on the delivery truck.
Obviously the timing on the delivery of these two packages isn’t a real problem, but it does make me question their efficiency. Coupled with the other problems I have encountered with them over the past few years, they will not ever be my first choice for shipping things. I understand others may have had very different experiences.
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I avoid the various dietary/food preferences labels and just describe myself as a picky eater. I will not eat seafood at all. I sometimes eat meat, but occasionally will go for a few weeks without any. I like some fruits and vegetables, but often can’t stand popular fruits such as strawberries. At the same time, I can usually find something tolerable at most restaurants or at a party hosted by family or friends, so I don’t feel like my food preferences cause anyone any real problems.
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On 5/3/2021 at 12:23 PM, magicdog said:
Well, a lot happened over the weekend!
My station was just sold!! Meredith Corp. sold us to Gray Broadcasting - so what will happen is up in the air. I don't know if my job will be in jeopardy but since I'm just 2 years away from retiring and recently earned a scheduled merit raise, I am considering my options. I have a ton of vacation and sick days which I have saved up but they haven't told us what if anything will change regarding that or our 401Ks, etc.
Anyone have any experience in this matter?
The new company will most likely identify redundant teams and individuals, and do a re-org of some kind. Given how close you are to retirement age, don’t be surprised if they offer you an early retirement package. Be aware that if they offer the early retirement package and you decline it, they will most likely lay you off a few months after that, with no notice. I witnessed something similar years ago, and the employees who turned down the package, and thought they were irreplaceable, got called into a conference room and laid off effective immediately.
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On 4/24/2021 at 3:54 PM, GHScorpiosRule said:
I have the same problem-I’ve had my blood drawn so many times even fisting and pumping my hand doesn’t help. But one of my oncologist nurses suggested something that helped me. Drinking lots of water before going to the doctor when I need blood drawn. It “plumps” the veins. But sometimes it doesn’t and I remember how they had to stick me from the back of my hand where the veins are visible. Thankfully I only had to suffer through that option once. It’s very rare that I’ve had someone stick me and I barely felt it. Hence me digging my nails into my palm of the opposite arm and looking away and holding my breath.
I generally warn anyone attempting to draw blood that my veins are thin, roll, and collapse at the slightest provocation. This is usually followed by the discussion about which arm to use, which consists of me telling them the left arm is better, them looking at my left arm and informing me the right arm MUST be better, and then shocked Pikachu face when they discover I was correct.
Although I haven’t been able to do it in a while, I used to donate platelets regularly, and much preferred their method of finding a vein. They would always jab my arm with a local anesthetic prior to sticking me, so even if it took a few tries, I wasn’t in pain.
Once in a great while, a regular medical tech who wants to draw blood will listen to my warnings, and go find a more experienced person. During the birth of my daughter, the regular tech and a couple of other people gave up and summoned the person who normally sticks babies.
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On 4/15/2021 at 4:40 PM, peacheslatour said:
Seattle has 4 too. Smoke, rain, sleet and construction..
San Antonio has only two seasons on any consistent basis: Seriously fucking hot, and almost bearable.
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For all of you dreading having to clean out your parents’ houses or wanting to make it easier for your own family after you or your spouse dies, I highly recommend The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, which is available through the standard online book sites. I sent a copy to my older sister, after a couple of rounds of cleaning out my parents’ house when my father died and my mother had to go live with my oldest sister because of health issues, and then a few years later when we had to sort through my mother’s stuff prior to moving her out to live with me. The book has quite useful suggestions about assessing what to retain and what to get rid of.
For new pet peeves, my current ones are both parent/baby related. Gender reveal parties strike me as in incredibly bad taste: Why on earth do parents think anyone really gives a fuck whether their future baby has female or male genitalia? It seems like an attempt for the parents to be at the center of attention, all so they can announce that the baby will have a vagina or penis.
The other peeve is the trend for entitled parents to throw hissy fits if a relative or friend chooses the same baby name as the entitled parents. Nobody owns a baby name or has exclusive rights to it. If you plan to name your baby “Sunshine Lemon Jello” and your sibling, cousin, best friend, or colleague also wants to name their kid the same thing, what difference does it make? I have seen stories of huge fights and going no contact over this nonsense. Do people really think that just because they like a name, nobody else in the world has the right to use that name?
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Sorry to hear about the on-site boss being a jerk and your agency rep sharing information with the client contrary to what she promised. Obviously neither one of them can be trusted. I think you’re doing the right thing in starting to look for something else. The on-site boss wants someone so desperate for a job that he/she will jump through any and all hoops to keep the job, even if those hoops are on fire.
Although I share your opinion about too many corporations caring only about their profits while paying lip service to caring about their employees, I will say it’s possible to find caring, compassionate managers in many organizations. I am extremely grateful for my current manager, who has provided support and flexibility for me as needed. But finding a good fit with a company and manager frequently involves some hard decisions. In my case it took recognizing that my first manager with my current company was toxic, and just doing my job until I could move to a different area. The new manager was an improvement but had her favorite reporting to her, and I was clearly an afterthought in terms of salary and bonuses. I finally spoke up for myself to the overall director of our area and proposed expanding my scope of responsibility. That action resulted a few months later in moving to another team under my current manager. The position is a much better fit, and my salary has almost doubled in 3 years.
I’m not in any way saying you should follow my path or even that a similar path is open to you right now. But you seem to be making some similar decisions, specifically that your current manager is toxic and deciding to explore other options you can use to extricate yourself from a crappy situation. Although you may need to play along with your manager’s demands for a while, at least this time as you are doing a job search, you have current relevant experience in your field, plus the AP work as well.
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1 hour ago, WinnieWinkle said:
They definitely used his full name in all the stories I saw or heard but when they specifically referenced him they did so by his last name. Which, I'm sorry but just comes off as stupid. And if the rule generally is to use the last name what happens in stories with multiple same last names? Leyton and his mother Leyton and father Leyton oh and let's not forget to hear from his brother Leyton,,," Dumb.
In a story with multiple people with the same last name, they would use first and last names the first time each person is mentioned, and after that could either continue using both names or use only the first name. While using the last name is correct per whatever style guide they’re using, the writers and copy editors also can use common sense to ensure that anyone reading the story can tell exactly which person is being referenced. Imagine a situation in which the missing child’s last name is Smith, the sheriff’s last name is Smith, and a major witness’s last name is Smith. The news story is not going to state, “Smith announced that Smith has provided significant information in the ongoing search for Smith.” At least, I hope not.
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34 minutes ago, Blergh said:
OK, I accept if not like that there are door-to-door solicitors and that, as annoying as I consider their jobs to be, I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they are earning an honest living for legit companies.
What I will NOT accept or tolerate is when any of them decide to park in my driveway JUST so they can save a few steps from having to walk from the curb to my front door to make their pitch (and yes, the ones who have done this have been perfectly able-bodied) . Seriously, unless you've been given express permission, have mobility challenges and/or it's an emergency, DO NOT PARK IN AND BLOCK another person's driveway who may have need for it at any moment (e.g. needing to go to work or to transport a family member to seek medical attention,etc.) .
Thanks.
If that happened to me, the minute the person knocked on my door, I would tell them that the fact they parked in my driveway and blocked me from being able to leave immediately if needed, means I will not buy whatever they are selling, no matter what it is or how good of a deal it might be, and there’s a good chance I will boycott the brand entirely.
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@bilgistic, I’m a little surprised that your agency hasn’t been more concerned about the changes in the scope of your job. When I was doing contract work, the agency would pounce on this sort of thing as an opportunity to bill the client at a higher hourly rate. That said, your agency may be turning a blind eye for fear of losing the client, especially if they are supplying the client with a lot of contractors.
Obviously you’re not thrilled with the accounts payable work; maybe just try to think of it as resume fodder that might increase your employment value in the future? However, your boss asking you to take over her bank runs is a big red flag. That’s typically something done by a regular FTE, not a contractor. It also makes me wonder if your boss is regarding you as someone she can just dump tasks onto, regardless if those tasks fall into your defined role. But there’s always the risk that your boss might end your contract if you don’t take on the additional tasks. One reason some companies rely on contractors to the extent they do is that the company can fire a contractor on the spot, without a formal warning, performance improvement plan, etc., which take more time. There are also some accounting differences, which I no longer remember, but essentially regular salaries come out of one bucket and contractor expenses come out of a different bucket, and this somehow affects how the company reports its operating expenses and profit.
My advice would be to raise your concerns with your agency, and if your boss asks you directly, calmly express that you have some concerns and are consulting your agency for clarification on which tasks align with your current job description and pay rate. Your agency should be the ones having the difficult conversations with the client if they are expecting your role to change significantly.
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17 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:
Since it doesn't feel right to bring it up to her directly, maybe say something to your supervisor? "Hey, I thought I should mention. You know how my office and Madge's share a wall? Well, when she's having a Zoom meeting, every word come through in my office loud and clear. I try my best to tune it out, and obviously I would never act on or pass on anything I heard, but maybe someone should give her a heads up, so if she's meeting on any sensitive topics, maybe she could get a conference room?" And, depending on the office layout, you might not be the only one who's listening.
I second this suggestion. The supervisor may not be aware that you and possibly others can hear her zoom calls word for word. She needs to know this, so she can book a conference room for sensitive discussions, whether work-related or personal. You shouldn’t have to listen to music or buy noise-canceling headphones to avoid hearing her meetings. She shouldn’t be risking having possibly sensitive information shared with employees who have no business need to know it.
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@mostlylurking, if these situations are ones where you can’t really make a difference or shouldn’t get involved, but irritate you sufficiently that you are investing too much time thinking about them, try this: Write a letter or email to the person causing the problem or making the stupid decisions, and point by point explain what they need to do to fix the problem or why their decisions are wrong or misguided. Vent all you want and get it out of your system. Then simply do NOT send the letter or email, because as you well know, they won’t be receptive to your advice and opinions.
I’ve done this myself on occasions and retained the letter or email so that if someone elicits my opinion on the situation, I already have my talking points organized. This strategy may not work for everyone, but it’s helped me stop obsessing about certain situations.
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Family Ties: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
in Everything Else
Small suggestion here: Create a Word doc or Excel file listing your mother’s known health conditions and her current meds, including the strengths and dosages. Do the same for your father. Print them out, laminate if possible, keep the printouts in your car or purse, and take photos of them with your phone. Update when needed. When you’re talking to facilities or having to take one or both parents to medical appointments or even to the hospital, having those lists readily available will save a lot of time. If you’re stressed about the situation, it’s easy to forget some of the diagnoses and meds. The healthcare personnel will generally be grateful that you have all the critical information organized; very often they just scanned in the documents I maintained for my mother.