Landsnark

Gotta believe you meant "Little Wayne." Mika and rapping wangs probably deserves its own thread. wrapping wangs?

How low energy is she today? Her boobs'n'sweater are caffeinated fer sure, but she seems as if she's on medication or something. I swear she's even speaking more slowly. After the Rep endorsed Biden, she sighed and said Ok. Joe tried to give her dad and career bureaucrats a shout out, and she sighed and told us who is on the show this morning instead of commenting. Wait... now she's perky and arguing with Joe, AND SHE IS WEARING A DIFFERENT SHIRT! Her Bond villainess turtleneck is gone. What happened in the 8am block? Did she spill something?

With an exception, I think that every single person on the network is professionally excellent at what they do. Outside of producing/reporting news, very nearly all of them could be successful professional policy wonks writing policy, high powered attorneys, professors teaching political theory, powerful lobbyists, State Department officials, powerful business execs, and actual politicians/statespersons. Joe included, obviously. There are a handful of others who are straight up news anchors, and their calling and is more limited to producing/reporting media vs being politically expert. Willie, Jansing, Kristen Welker, Ayman, Peter Alexander, Alex Witt... all professional anchors, with hard news creds and can write stories, pursue stories and work successfully in the field. And then there's Mika. She has no interest in much. She's incurious about the topic of her show, at least in comparison to every single other on-air talent that appears on the network. As an example, I don't think she reads any of those papers they have on their morning desks. Imagine for a moment Mika reading through each paper thoroughly, for content. I can't. I can only imagine she sits there on set either gossiping with the makeup people, haranguing Joe, daydreaming about cake, or just staring at a wall. I can't even imagine her doing prep work. How many times has she guest anchored or appeared on any other shows? KYV claptrap aside, I presume the answer is never. Her special skill, her value, is that she's comfortable in the studio. It's so routine for her that she's bored with it and she mistakes that boredom for having succeeded, so she's smug to boot. Being smug about simply being on set is her skill. She likes to think of herself as Nicole's patron (or is it matron?) which is ironic of course, because Nicole's show is the best thing on the network and Mika could learn A TON on how to be a professional from Nicole.

And this is why I started watching the show. Malcolm Nance just killed his segment and I bought his book. Willie and Eddie nailed the interview.

Well that Qanon piece was frightening.

Why does she suppose that we men don't go to work to do our jobs as best as we can, to make it through the day and get to the next? Why does she presume that we're all Machiavellian conspirators who are angling to take advantage? What the fuck is wrong with her? Here is my advice ladies. Do your job as best as you can. Things'll fall into place. You'll be fine. If you are only there to take advantage of others, then you're a **** who everyone hates being around. (the asterisks are symbolic. I don't know what swear word I want there. have some fun and fill it in for yourselves! Know your swearing value!)

Joe is gone for Valerie Jarret. Mika has no questions for her. Interrupts her to kick it to Willie. Sen. Kane is on and finishes talking, Mika says, "aaaaaaaalllll right. Thanks. Congrats on the big win. And now this." She asked him no questions. Joe asked him no questions. Some dude is on to discuss the lizard Stone and when he's done, she does, "all RIGHT. [reads his name and title] [overemphasizes Thank you VERY much] [kicks it to commercial]" She asked him no questions. Joe asked him no questions.

It's a media kit. It's a marketing materials designed to give advertisers an understanding of what KYV's audience looks like. She's not saying she made them wealthy. It's a sales piece so advertisers may want to market to her audience. I didn't realize KYV was for-profit. Heh. Good on ya, Meeks.

I know what Mika is scribbling on her notepad. "Help." She looks like she's a hostage. I get the impressions she hates Weird Energy Joe.

So that's what a hungover vampire looks like slumped at a desk in the morning defending America's brand of nationalistic populism. Thanks, Rich Lowry. Now we know. Oh, also, suburban Virginia has a wooden stake they'd like to talk to you about.

If I was a sales rep there, I'd press so hard for a coffee sponsorship. It only makes sense. I can't believe they don't have a Morning Joe Amazon store on their site or in their FB or Twitter or wherever. For simplicity's sake I'd use their affiliate portal to get to books I'd have wanted. And now, 15 years in, they'd have a helluva library of works and a literary reputation. But... meh.

Her mother sounds like a real piece of work. Poor young Mika having to deal with that environment. Her parents were as humorous and loving as a branding iron. We can actually see the results in Mika's adulthood. It's sad, really. Her words of affection, "She's tough as nails." jesus. A therapist would get to the bottom of things inside of the first 2 minutes' conversation.

Cut to scene from last night where drunken mika has a 32oz Yeti full of vodka and ice in the crook of her arm that's also holding a huge platter of messy cake. Humorlessly using her other hand to sloppily grip and throw cake hunks into trick or treaters' bags.

When it's get super cold they'll broadcast from the front seats of their Range Rover Sport. Ignatius and Claire can sit in the back seats. Willie will be in the way back and will lean forward and shout when it's his time.

Today's show is indistinguishable from any other. Just Joe free-form ranting. It's not watchable.

It's incredible, right? She is so un-selfaware. 1. She was literally born into European aristocracy 2. Her father was a powerful international diplomat and wonk whose connections got her all life's early advantages including admission into Williams where she was not qualified otherwise 3. I can't say her name got her a job as a cub reporter, but her name absolutely got her Joe's attention and a seat early-on on his show 4. Her family connections, including her father, were/are frequent guests on the show 5. She married her boss and afterwards locked in probably the 2nd highest woman's salary at the network Her position in the world right now is 100% dependent upon the status of her family. But we need to have a serious discussion about Hunter Biden. Go fuck yourself, Mika. If you were smarter, you would be able to create content and drama and friction without taking the stupidest, simplest, most hypocritical route.

Mika. Jeez what a clown. In the open she said something about General Mattis wanting Trump out, and then she made The. Most. Ridiculous. Face. She squinted her eyes, scrunched her face, made a "huh?" sound and cocked her head quickly, sharply to the side to emphasize... something. Kind of like the church lady, kind of like a dog, kind of like a teenager. Put the TV on mute and just watch her. When she's caffeinated it's pretty entertaining how a talking head on the telly can't use words to express thoughts and must squinch her face and tilt her head to emphasize, "wha? heh? huh? wow!" Such gravitas! I like how every morning they say, "THIS, THIS RIGHT HERE! This is the smoking gun! This is what will cost Trump." Every freaking morning. I guess I respect their optimism.

I came here to post on this. Cleaver was kidding. He apparently had a running joke with Cummings. "Stay in your lane. I'm the minister you're the attorney, leave some things for me to do." Cleaver just isn't funny. You can't deliver that joke so dry, SO dry, that it comes off straight, like it isn't a joke. The truly hilarious part is he totally forgot Mika's name. He forgot for about 35 seconds. But it felt like a half hour, he just stood there and said Joe Scarborough and um, um, um, uh Joe and uh um... what's her name? .... Uh uh uh uh ummmmm... Her name is... Uh. Joe and uh um um um.... I was HOWLING in laughter. God that was funny. And Steve finally says, "Mika? You mean Mika Bryzynski?" and he says YES, HER! Mika. Steve must not have been paying attention because he let this happen for way way too long. Aaaaaaaaahahahahhahhahahahaha know your value as an anonymous sidekick, toots.

She was almost in his lap, her cheek on his shoulder. Just sitting there, looking up into his face as he ranted like she didn't know she was on a fucking political punditry television show... like she was his date who happened to wander on stage during the segment. At the end of the segment I think she said, "And..." and a clip teased Kamela Harris coming on the next segment. She said 1 word after hugging his arm, wiggling in his lap. I've never seen that before. I tried to imagine Alli Velshi snuggling against Steph on their show... and I couldn't. Silently looking up into Steph's eye, "she's mine, all mine, boys."

That is awesomely rip-snorting funny. She is so un-selfaware she must jump out of her Louboutins when she passes a mirror.

Who cares how much money Hunter Biden made? For the life of me, if what he was doing was legal, who gives a fuck? GOOD FOR HIM. That segment when they were around the table Tsk Tsking the Bidens for not being perfectly apologetic and structuring the ideal sentence to apologize to everyone made me sick. Nothing illicit occurred. Joe Biden has nothing to apologize for, and, he ought to point at the corruption occurring with the Trump brats RIGHT NOW IN FRONT OF US. But I really lost it when Mika leans in to the table to drop science on how all of this is related to Hillary Clinton. That Clinton didn't apologize continually (for what?) and if she did, Mika never bought it. One of those two idiots named a stat where Hillary was less trusted than Trump and used that "fact" to "prove" that Biden needs to start apologizing so he won't become Hillary. Never mind the fact that there was a cottage industry that existed through 3 decades built on smearing Hillary, and a news network that literally made billions of dollars and won elections by doing it for decades. That is what led to her low numbers, propaganda. And it was when Mika really leaned in and said that Hillary knew she was going to run for President, but... gasp, [astonished mika routine!] she still spoke at small colleges for "as much as $200,000!!!!" And then she looks around the table as if this proves something, and they are all just looking at her like they're watching a fish talk. 1. Speaking gigs is Mika's side scam, and her friends are ladies who speak for a living and get fees. So... there's that. 2. Mika never complained about Hillary being paid to speak at universities until today, up until now Mika's position was that Hillary "was in bed with Wall Street" because if you do something for money you're corrupt. Wrote all that to say Hillary Clinton is no longer a real person on this show with a biography and a factual existence. When the dumbnamic duo say "Hillary Clinton" it's as a catch-all idea, a meme, a rhetoric strawman they use to show how right they are and how "Hillary Clinton" is a failure. She's their Keyser Söze.

SQUEE!!! Oh the good old days, The Unitarian scarf was employed for like a 4 month period about 15 months ago? Is that about right? I could be wrong. It seems to this casual observer that the scarf was worn roughly around the period that she got a little plastic surgery done. Just a little bit before, and then after... perhaps? Could be wrong.

For Salman Rushdie we get a, "Wow! Alright! On that note! Geez! OK!"

I listened to the show in the car on Sirius this morning, and in that format you can really hear the low quality of their breakfast nook sound set up. All other voices are obviously in a television studio, while Mika and Joe are just in an ordinary room on a mic. It's distracting. As distracting as Mika in the background saying "Shinzooooo Abbey. Abbey. Abbey. Shinzoooo Abbey. Hm. Aw Bay. Shinzo Aw Bay," while Joe was making a lame joke about Trump being an idiot. In the car, audio only, her misread words really stand out. Also her pointless, jumbled interruptions stand out, as does Joe steamrolling/dismissing her. And her "Wows" really stand out too. She really ought to be doing the babies and bakeries beat at some local station there in south Florida. "wow that's some cake. oh wow, you're expecting? squee!"

Know your value, you moron.