Landsnark

1. She looks great in that picture of her on the boat with Joe in his Fartmouth t shirt. 2. "B- good effort" is legitimately hilarious 3. That kitten is crazy crazy cute 4. Why the fuck is her mom not wearing a fucking mask??? 5. "Cake" Made me laugh and laugh. 6. Vodka is omnipresent by its omission. 7. She doesn't know what mindfulness means, and, whatever she is doing doesn't work because she admits she is stress eating and dreads exercising. wtf, mika? You are so unselfaware it's astonishing.

so was it good? It was worth it?

We already pay for DirecTV, HBO, Netflix, Amazon Prime, BritBox, and I think Acorn. I don't want to chase new subscription-based content platforms and download apps and buy a new TV that can support last week's technology. I'm not a Luddite; at some point I need to try to shape the market so it suits me. Millennials' acceptance of a ludicrously disparate content delivery industry is not going to drive me to watch TV on my computer. I'm not adapting and adopting for new platforms, so that new platforms must adapt to me.

How badly did Joe ruin that segment? Jeez louise. He would jump in and (practically) shout "I'm smart too! I know things too! I have books! I have books!" That was a great segment, but fucking Joe...

In the 7:00am minute as they introduced the (SHOCKING) story that the White House knew about bounties to target our troops, I was listening rapt to Mika read the latest details. Then she said, "ossifer" instead of "officer."

Ok, what I just wrote might be construed as cruel and tasteless and an excellent example of how the internet is an ugly place. To balance it- I admire the young lady's work ethic, creativity and spirit. I would imagine her mother is very proud of her.

Video of the young artist at work. I wonder what Bing Bong and Mika think of that tattoo. Bing Bong: "She has a tattoo, Mika. You've failed as a mother. You're worthless." Mika: [looks pained and crestfallen and slowly inserts a heaping fistful of cake into her mouth and chews very slowly]

Giant, cataclysmic event in sports. Joe's a Liverpool fan. And it's Roger Bennett from Men in Blazers. Try it, you'll love it.

"Vapid vulgarians?" Sweet jesus, she's a nitwit. She thinks she's F. Scott Fitzgerald dropping prose bombs, but she's a fucking nitwit. Karen who married her boss and got giant fake boobs called the CEO of Twitter a vapid vulgarian from the sun deck of her Boca McMansion.

One of these is far far far more probable than the other.

I flipped to Morning Joe still with my eyes closed. I was desperate to catch a few extra winks... anxiety makes it hard to sleep through the night... and Joe was SCREAMING. I had the TV on really low and I thought what commercial is this? And then I thought, oh lord, that's Joe legit bellowing. He said something about rich people and Zuckerburg and shootings. Was he standing? What was Mika's face like? I don't know if I like this particular persona he adopts. Seems fake and modeled after Morton Downey Jr.

https://youtu.be/8V_hCqO6UQs

OMG, what if she answered??? "Hi, this is Mrs Scarborough, Know Yer Value. How can I help you?" You need to be prepared! Your represent us all!

This is to plant a seed in the universe... Please have Anand on tomorrow to condescend to Joe and woke-splain how "Defund the Police" is perfect campaign-year phrasing and the world is too stupid to get it. They're both generally detestable and hate each other, which makes for good TV.

I've had long standing back issues that have flared up badly during quarantine from... doing nothing and sitting with bad posture. An awkward night's sleep Sunday and I woke up a leg that didn't move well, a lower back locked in place and an upper back in spasm. It has since mostly resolved until... the laughter put my back in spasm. THANKS @teddysmom Mika stress-eating cake by the fistful is the funniest thing in the world. Sorry Mika, I'm sure you're lovely in real life.

She looks botoxed and it appears her hair has been done. That D. Senate candidate from Georgia was impressive, and the level of corruption in their voting process is fucking astonishing. Joe interrupting Mika to go on a wildly bizarre rant about Mark Meadows was so uncomfortable I had to mute then change the channel.

You're all welcome: https://www.cameo.com/thomasaroberts If you pay him $25 to send you a message, can you add another $25 and ask for some behind the scenes gossip from the MJ show?

True, but a loudspeaker and a walking line of cops could've solved this rather easily. Flash bangs, tear gas, rubber bullets and beating up an Australian reporter are about a million miles beyond necessary. Also, a beloved public figure could have just happily walked amongst the crowds without fear in order to interact with the public.

If this morning's drinking game is 1 shot for every time Joe says "inflection point," I would already be speaking backwards to my wife, crying, standing in a pile of empty bottles. This morning I should do 1 sit up for every time Joe says "Churchill," 'Inflection Point," or "Mattis"

This is huge. If one of the people who helped spread disinformation has come around to sanity, terrific. Did any of us know that Claire lives in the kitchen of a roadside diner? Please do yourselves a favor and go find her home video footage from this morning. Freeze the frame and take inventory. She is in a tiny, off-the-beaten-path 1950's diner. (caveat: this was pre coffee, still blinking the sleep out of my eyes, but I stand by my observation) The footage of the acting press secretary was fucking CRAZY. She's a gorgeous witch. A cheerleader sorority brewed her in a cauldron in a baptist church's basement. How fast do you think she'd mention when you first meet her that she likes to bass fish in heels? She screeched, "THE REAL QUESTION IS WHY YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO GO TO CHURCH!!!??" to a reporter. They were dumbfounded. I was dumbfounded. This shit is now normal.

Twitter issued a press release apologizing to the young lady's family, but did not reprimand Trump or limit his account access.

How bloviating did Joe get about Trump threatening Michigan with voting by mail in ballot?

Sweet scene. Steph's sweatpants!

This is general news, hitting the newswires yesterday. If he's talking about it, it could be because it's topical and of the moment.

Could it be that Mika is out of clean clothes? Today she wore Monday's gypsy witch black shawl and Monday's Lily Pulitzer T turned inside out. It's jarring to see her dressed so casually on TV while most other people are in suits. This is (essentially) what she wore on Monday. Her job is to appear as an image on TV.