2016 Judges Houses

[aradia22]

Anyone getting tired yet? The Girls and The Groups are up first.

[aradia22]

I found something hilarious about Calvin Harris in this promo. He's just so blank.

The Ibiza house is gorgeous. Though regardless of where they go, the judges houses seem to blend together.

5 AM: The lead in the olive green top has a slightly annoying voice. He needs to work on it. I think the editors tried to cover it with the backing track. They're in tune. And the dancing is great. But I don't think they have natural singers' voices.

Tom & Laura: They're fine. This would be cute at karaoke. But they don't have remarkable voices and they don't have star quality. There's nothing magical about the way they perform. And this song choice? Ordinary people on the X Factor is great and all, but you have to show some aptitude. Be extraordinary in at least one way.

Yes Lad: Honestly, they're cute but they're not that cute. Their voices aren't fantastic. But they can carry a tune and play to the crowd. I could see them catching on with teenage girls in a way the other boy bands haven't because they at least seem fun. And there aren't 8 of them ;) What they need is a social media campaign like the old video diaries to connect with prospective fans. When people get invested in them, they'll seem less generic.

Ottavio & Bradley: I liked the pom pom balls. It was cheap but cute. They have totally fine voices and come on, they're totally a Louis act. I'm really confused about what happened at the end though. Why did he push him into the pool?

Skarl3t: I don't love people changing the melody. Their voices are not bad. I don't think individually they're that special though. They don't have that grounded soul or power. 

The Brooks: Now they are very cute. And if you like this kind of pop voice, they're not bad. But while they're not completely dead in the eyes, there's not a lot there either. I like Yes Lad better but it's really a toss up. So much honesty from Louis right there. 

4 of Diamonds: Rough start. I warmed up to the harmonies but I'm not sure if this was the best arrangement or the best way to split up the vocal parts. Top bun seemed to be having the most issues.

Honestly, the only performance I really enjoyed by Ottavio & Bradley. But I would have taken 5 AM to the Lives and then either Yes Lad or 4 of Diamonds depending on if you wanted to sell a boy band or a girl group.

Maybe I'm getting old or cynical or what have you but when all these young people are talking about how much they want this, I roll my eyes a little. OK, it's not that impressive that you've never wanted anything more if you're that young. Also, no one is obligated to give you a chance at super stardom. In fact, you've had that chance. You can quibble about which acts are better but I don't think anyone came out and gave that incredible performance that displayed a truly, undeniably remarkable voice. So, you know, calm yourselves.

RESULTS

Spoiler

So we've got 5 AM, The Brooks, and Bradley & Ottavio. People are hating on Louis but I'm not mad at these results. The show could have done something with Yes Lad or 4 of Diamonds but I don't think they ever would have been great. They'd just be a lesser One Direction or Little Mix.

I do feel a little bad for Yes Lad because they've been on Xtra Factor a lot and jerked around a lot by the show.

[aradia22]

Why did Simon get the girls backup singers?

Soheila Clifford: Does Soheila realize they're giving her a bad edit? Well, she's no Christina Aguilera. But I thought this was one of her better vocals. There was a little weirdness in her trying to affect an American accent. Aside from just a lack of excellent singing ability (which most of the acts don't have anyway), I think Soheila's biggest problem is a kind of desperation. She tries to do too much and she can't really pull it off. Instead of knowing the limits of her abilities, she tries to do more and it lacks... smoothness in the vocals, dancing, and just overall performance. If you're doing a run, the notes are supposed to flow together. I feel like Simon has experienced auditions like that before and wasn't that impressed.

Olivia Garcia: Fine voice. Not remarkable. She's singing in a weird way. I don't know why people don't just embrace the voices they've got. Sing with your voice, not the voice you want to have. There's talent there but she needs work and she also just needs to grow into her voice more. The "ooh" was really pretty but there wasn't much to the performance. She didn't convey the meaning of the song. It was talent show/pageant-y. Say what you will about Britney, but it was pleasant to listen to.

Kayleigh Marie Morgan: I feel like people need to stop singing Jessie J on X Factor. That said, it wasn't bad. I feel like she hasn't got a complete sense or control of her range and a Jessie song like this is for a girl with a big range. But there are lovely parts to her vocals and this showed it off. I just didn't see the thing that would make Simon keep her.

Samantha Lavery: Her talking head made me like her a little more. I also understand what Simon is saying. I mean, you should be able to wear whatever makeup you want, but I think she's been trying to give them what they want and be another Cher Lloyd but that's not really where he strength lies. It's less about appearance (though that might be it for Simon) and more about putting on a front. She isn't Bradley and Ottavio. She doesn't need costumes and flash. I feel like I say the same thing all the time because like Broadway wants belters, pop wants big voices but it's not properly rounded and supported. That said, probably one of her best vocals. I do think she needs to work on that support and breath control (I noticed far less yelping today). She was a little dead behind the eyes though. 

Caitlyn Vanbeck: We've hit a song I don't know. Before she messed up, it was pretty but shaky. I get the Kelly Clarkson thing because she feels like an early American Idol contestant. Totally fine. Better than most of the other girls. But she didn't have a spark this round. Maybe it was nerves after messing up.

Emily Middlemas: I like that she's still cute and knows how to play to the audience but it's getting a little hammy and I miss pop Emily. I don't always want to see her with a guitar. She's not Lucy Spraggan. While it's not a wow, I will say this for Emily, she's smart. She knows her limits and how to play to her strengths.

Gifty Louise: She's so much Fleur East with a better voice. It wasn't my favorite performance of hers but still, way better than most of the others. As good as she is, I think she needs a bit more fun and warmth.

Based on today, I would take Gifty. It's a toss up between Samantha, Caitlyn, and Emily. I wouldn't have said it before but I see the potential in Samantha. And now she's more of a blank canvas. I think Caitlyn is the better singer but Emily is more reliable because she's not going to stretch. Soheila was cannon fodder. Kayleigh seems a little stubborn and maybe limited vocally. And Olivia's just not ready yet.

RESULTS

Spoiler

Gifty, Samantha, Emily

Pretty obvious. There seems to be some hate brewing for Gifty (I think the way they grouped the reveals on the show didn't help) but come on, she's been the most ready from day 1. Samantha has a lot of potential. Emily doesn't excite me but she seems dependable. I think Caitlyn was more talented but she did mess up her lyrics, making Simon's decision easier. I wonder what he would have done if she hadn't messed up. 

[Occasional Hope]

Is Honey G a self-aware satire?  She has to be, right?

[Kaoteek]

Louie's & Sharon's picks... yeesh.

As for Simon's & Nicole's, no real surprise there.

Can't say i'm really looking forward to the live shows, with that roster...

[aradia22]

LOL. The way they film the Overs vs. the way they film the Girls or some of the Groups, it's like the camera people think you're sexless monsters after 25. God, like why do you even bother to leave the house in anything but sweatpants anymore?

But on the other hand, bwahahaha at them trying to film Robbie Williams sexily.

Relley C: I'm pretty sure I was watching in 2013. Why don't I remember her? She has a very good voice, that's clear. I'm not sure if it's a great voice. And she spent most of this either closing her eyes or with dead eyes. Just because you're singing a slow song, that doesn't mean you lack all charisma. Like, act the song. Feel something.

Christopher Peyton: I did like that this time he chose a song where he could come out swinging. But Christopher's never going to be that exciting to me. Christopher feels solid and dependable. You know what you're going to get. And it's good. But it's not going to be anything more than that. And while he can perform, his eyes were closed most of the time.

James Wilson: Lovely raspy voice. Not really my thing but, you know, marketable. This was coffee shop James. He was looking down a lot. Am I being a conspiracy theorist or was there a piece of paper near his feet? Then closed eyes. I appreciate that he at least seemed to be making the effort to open his eyes periodically but Jesus Christ. Remind me what's wrong with Gifty again?

Samantha Atkinson: If you've got diction issues, this isn't really the best song for you. She's had better vocals but she was still far better than most of them. She also closed her eyes a lot, but it was at least like 50-50 and she was still performing.

Saara Aalto: When did Saara decide to be weird? Her first audition was normal. Not fair. I'm sorry. I can't be impartial about ABBA. She won me over. She's over the top but at least she was performing. It wasn't a perfect vocal but it was fine. At least she went for it. I'm not sure if she could get people to vote for her though.

Janet Grogan: A little rough. She was singing like she's got vocal damage. Dead eyes. But at least they were mostly open. It was fine, not great. A little boring.

Honey G: WHY!?! Why do I have to keep putting up with this? I'll give her credit. The beginning was not that bad. And then... well, that didn't last long. Look, I think Brattavio are fun and I like having them around but even if that weren't the case, at least they try. Most the joke acts can't sing but they try. Honey G is a special level of incompetent. It's not fun. It's not amusing. There's no joy to her badness. 

I think if I were Sharon and I was actually trying to win, I would have gone with Samantha Atkinson, James Wilson, and Christopher Peyton. Relley C and Janet Grogan are neither good enough singers nor interesting enough personalities. And the way she talked about Simon letting her go, I think Janet might have a bit of an attitude. Christopher would be dependable. James would be a bit of a risk with the lyrics but he's got a sob story that makes him sympathetic. If I were just picking for myself, I'd go Samantha, James, and Saara. Saara feels like she'd have trouble attracting a fan base but I think I'd kind of enjoy her performances.

RESULTS

Spoiler

Saara Alto, Honey G, Relley C

I'm surprised they got rid of James because he has a good story and they've spent time following him around with the camera. But he's not competitive enough to win.

I think Samantha was a risk if they've got their eye on someone else winning. She's not as easy of a sell as Sam Bailey but she definitely could pick up a surprising number of votes and throw of their scheme this year. I feel bad for her though. Poor thing. I believed she really wanted it. I don't know if she'll come back another year. It doesn't seem likely.

Saara's reaction to finding out was so fake.

If Honey G is not self-aware, this is cruel.

Relley C's reaction was sweet but she's total cannon fodder. They're not keeping her because they think she's going to be Alexandra Burke. The truth is black girls don't fare very well on this show in general and Relley doesn't even have one of the better voices or acts. 

Janet looked very pretty when she got eliminated. But I'm kind of glad it wasn't her. Her voice wasn't anything that special and the way she went on and on about Simon eliminating her (I know it was producer prompted by they didn't make her say it the way that she did) lost me. 

[Kaoteek]

I'm wondering if, at some point, they won't have some sort of scripted Honey G meltdown, and then, they'll be in a position to bring back Ivy Grace.

(unlikely, I know)

[aradia22]

The intro for Nicole was SO awkward. At least, we know a Cheryl/Liam situation is probably not going to happen.

Ryan Lawrie: If you like his look, he's very cute. He doesn't have a great voice but it's fine and in tune. I think he's similar to Brooks Way and some "heartthrob" guys in the past except he's not off-key. I liked that he tried to move around but he seemed a little all over the place. He's a decent performer though. (My expectations may have been lowered by the Overs.) For Ryan, this was a great showing. Kind of like a male Emily Middlemas, you know, managing your abilities.

Niall Sexton: Calvin managed to smile! Niall is good. A few minor issues but those are negligible. He's just never going to be for me. I don't like baby voices. Closed eyes! 

Freddy Parker: I can't tell if he was flat or singing different notes but something was off. It was one of his better vocals though, which isn't saying much. Freddy is fine. Not great. And he's not dependable as far as singing the right notes all the time goes. ("Good job, buddy." Oh God, Calvin's face. I think I'm loopy.)

Nate Simpson: Rough start but he found the note eventually. Still a little shaky. Less clean runs, more sliding all over the place. Don't get me wrong, he's good. A better singer than most of the other boys. But for what he's trying to do... he falls short. Is he Billy Porter? No, he is not. 

James Hughes: Oh, I love this little nugget. He's adorable. And Calvin seemed to muster up a genuine smile. ROUGH. There's no denying it. Something went wrong. That said, I think he also just couldn't bring the power he wanted to bring to his vocal. Sometimes you have to grow into your voice (and also train and practice). I feel like instead of trying to be a black lady, James would be better as a little Olly Murs or something. He's very charming and cute as a button.

Christian Burrows: ROUGH. Very shaky. He couldn't just land on the notes. He found his way eventually. He didn't really move around a lot and he closed his eyes a lot and yet I found it somewhat compelling. I think Christian's thing is he brings a passion to his vocals. There's some emotion there. He flubbed the lyrics, right?

Matt Terry: I feel like Matt has to be careful with the scruff. It doesn't grow in very nicely on him. Not perfect, but one of his better vocals. He's not a bad singer. I think he just needs to find that balance between tricks and the solid technical singing. Really nice smooth, quick run there. 

Based on that, as Nicole I would pick Matt, Christian, and either Ryan or Niall. The Boys are tough because you don't want to split the votes too much. As me, it would be Matt, Christian, and James. Yes, I know James messed it up for himself but he's just so cute and he tries. I want him to stick around.

RESULTS

Spoiler

Freddy, Matt, Ryan

I'm mildly surprised they didn't take Christian through because they've been talking up his youtube hits so much. And there is something compelling about how emotional he gets. But yeah, it would have been a risky choice and he definitely could have swayed the vote away from production's real favorites. 

Oh, my little nugget! I hope James comes back.

Freddy isn't blatant cannon fodder but he's not much of a threat, is he?

Nicole telling Matt was awkward AF.

I might have taken Niall or Christian over Ryan but they would be dark horse threats to Matt. I think Ryan is a credible contestant, more so than Freddy. But no, he doesn't have a remarkable voice.

[aradia22]

Based on the final clip, who looks like a pop star: Sam Lavery, Gifty Louise, Matt Terry

Outside chance: Emily Middlemas, 5 After Midnight, Ryan Lawrie

If I had to guess, I think these are the people they'll be trying to sell us.

[pythonite]

I guess I'm with Robbie Williams, Honey G makes me happy. She's an odd duck but I think she's 100 percent sincere. I don't think it's parody. But I also loved Beck Martin (Friday Night)

So happy Directv carries this.

[Nedsdag]

I'm very jealous of those who have AXS on cable. For some reason my provider refuses to carry it, so I have to watch it live on Saturday at 3 in the afternoon.

WTF was Sharon thinking when she chose Honey G? Simon is going to shit all over her and Sharon during the lives. But I must say, if I am feeling down, I will watch her take on Gangster's Paradise at Judge's Houses.

[Rockwello]

With Idol gone, so glad we have xfactor!