Great Photo, Lovely Life: Facing A Family's Secrets

[DanaK]

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The HBO Original documentary GREAT PHOTO, LOVELY LIFE: FACING A FAMILY'S SECRETS, directed by Amanda Mustard and Rachel Beth Anderson, debuts TUESDAY, DECEMBER 5 (10:00-11:55 p.m. ET/PT). The documentary will debut on HBO and be available to stream on Max.

Synopsis: Amanda Mustard, a renowned photojournalist drawn to the power of truth-telling through the lens of her camera, returns home to Pennsylvania to investigate the multiple sexual abuse crimes committed by her grandfather. A visual whirlwind of memories from her family's archive unravels a world of secrets and help illustrate a granddaughter's unflinching attempt to disrupt a cycle of intergenerational trauma through the voices of the survivors and her grandfather himself.

Full press release http://thefutoncritic.com/news/2023/11/20/hbo-original-documentary-great-photo-lovely-life-facing-a-familys-secrets-debuts-december-5-720110/20231120hbo01/

 

Edited November 20, 2023 by DanaK

[IntrovertRed]

Wow, not many documentaries leave me speechless but this was one. It was so frustrating on so many levels to watch. This family and so many others are forever damaged by this one evil man who seemed rotten til the end. I hope he’s rotting in hell. 

I was surprised to see how Debi totally shut down and got defensive when confronted by her eldest daughter for being placed in the grandparents’ care when her mother KNEW what her father was capable of and had done to her!  That Debi only “thought it was one time”  and made sure her own mother promise that she would watch the granddaughter and not leave the grandchild alone with him. Like what the actual fuck. She KNEW her father was a pedophile, did she think he was suddenly cured?!  She wasn’t protected by her own mother, why would her daughter be protected?  Cycle of abuse just continued because it was swept under rug because it was too hard and easier to pretend it wasn’t happening.  I haven’t had it happen to me but my ex did and and keeping it buried just makes it one thousand times worse. I know it’s easier said than done to not confront it but Debi reminded me so much of my ex-MIL. 

Sadly, Debi seemed to regress into her mother and it’s sad. I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs. Her daughters want to be able to talk to her like she wished her mom did with her.  She said in the car she didn’t want to be her mother, but she’s headed down that path.

It was uncomfortable to see the grandfather each time he was on the screen.  His videos creeped me out, particularly when he was asking the videographer for a picture and remarking on her appearance. Just ew.   I was confused though why he was asked to leave the nursing home. Who were the “twins” that he was inappropriately touching?   Clearly he had his wits when he had zero comment after hearing Bonnie’s message to him. The innocent sweet facade sure did slip for a minute. And I don’t know if we were meant to have sympathy at the last imagine of him, however, I did not. Him serving just a two-year sentence is disgusting.

I felt so uncomfortable after the prayer with his former business partners, especially with the guy who preached forgiveness, especially after his daughter was abused by him too!  Don’t tell me I “need” to forgive to move on Fuck that. People need to do what works  best for themselves to heal.  Forgiveness doesn’t automatically make it all better, and I wish people wouldn’t say that it does.

[pasdetrois]

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I felt so uncomfortable after the prayer with his former business partners, especially with the guy who preached forgiveness, especially after his daughter was abused by him too!

I was raised around devout, fundamentalist/evangelical Christians, and they all talk like the guy who preached forgiveness. It's why creeps get away with horrible crimes for so many years, especially if they commit the crimes in their own religious communities. Women are especially required to forgive abuse. The Duggar parents insisted their daughters forgive the brother who molested them.

[blixie]

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That Debi only “thought it was one time”  and made sure her own mother promise that she would watch the granddaughter and not leave the grandchild alone with him. Like what the actual fuck. She KNEW her father was a pedophile, did she think he was suddenly cured?!  She wasn’t protected by her own mother, why would her daughter be protected?

I think she had processed her own abuse so differently than her daughters, as she and the brother said, the dysfunction felt normal. Debi was gaslit and assumed to soldier on and "survive" was all she could do. She didn't have a lot of good choices as young single mom trying to leave a physically abusive marriage. And she made a terrible calculus that she'd rather her child had a home with SA than a home where she's potentially battered, the other alternatives were probably just as distasteful (unhoused, unemployed). Once she made that calculus she told herself she was watching and protecting v. endangering and ignoring. When Amanda did call out her denying the abuse occurred, she did admit that it happened and she did feel responsible/culpable. It sounds like she was finally able to admit that to Angie I hope they continue to heal.

I thought this was really good example of restorative justice, focusing on the victims and how they confronted and came to terms with their abuse.