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SilverStormmAugust 30, 2014 in The X Factor (UK) [V]
As with movies or new television shows, I want everything I'm about to watch to be good. I've moved past the point where I find bad auditions amusing. They're only fun if someone is cleverly mocking them (Wipeout style) or they're in on the joke and more campy than just terrible.
If Chloe Jasmine was THAT good a singer, why the hell was she wasting her time on that godawful Naomi Campbell modeling show?
Well, she's also done topless photos: http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/topless-pictures-x-factors-chloe-jasmine-4133154
And without her fake posh accent, a much WORSE audition in the past: http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/watch-x-factor-favourite-chloe-4138330
Girl REALLY wants to be famous.
This is exhausting. Do we always get so many auditions at once? Anyway, to get on with it...
Time for Arena auditions!
James Graham: He's not the best singer I've ever heard but it was pleasant. Nice, warm tone. He's not the most charismatic or exciting performer on the show. Do we have another Aiden Grimshaw?
The Courtesans: I couldn't really tell what her vocals were like with all the talking and weirdness in their original song. Hearing them on a song I know... well, she's no Rob Brydon. For the most part it's on key but she's definitely not good enough to be a professional singer. They might have had a better shot as a novelty act on BGT.
Rebecca Jones: It was pretty. It's hard to judge a vocal like this because you can hide a lot with this kind of song choice and those vocal affectations.
Charlie Brown: Yeah, nope.
Paul Akister: I think his version of soul might rely more on those falsetto notes than the nice warm, low notes. I like both but yeah, he's good. He just has to stay likable. He could go far if he can get votes.
Lauren Platt: She didn't really transform the song but it was different enough that I didn't have to worry about comparing it to Whitney. It was pretty and age appropriate. I still hear some issues. She's not totally a little girl with a big voice. You can hear the lack of that rich, warm sound and all those straight tones and just a slight hollowness to the vocal. I do like her. I just think we could find someone better and she's picking the wrong songs. She's picking songs like she's baby Christina Aguilera.
Amy Connolley: What is with people going for the Whitney Houston songs? It wasn't terrible but she wasn't in the pocket for a good chunk of it and it didn't end up being a wow. You could hear her not totally landing notes and in the end it paled next to Whitney (and even some covers).
The Joys: They're very musical theatre... in the bad way. Cruise ship. Bubblegum pop. I'm not sure if their blend is great. They're not terrible but they lack polish and I have no idea who their audience would be.
Andrea Faustini: Big song. I don't love blue-eyed soul and the video cut it off before he had to hit any of the big notes so it was a meh for me.
Stevi Ritchie: It was a little rough but then it's a hard song to sing. He definitely can sing but I couldn't tell if he was struggling because of the demands of the song or because he couldn't hit the notes properly. The dancing made me laugh. I can't help it. I like him. He can be this year's Rylan or Johnny Robinson. But remember, there can only be one.
Andrea Faustini: OK, full audition posted today. It's lacking that full rich sound I was looking for. He's good but I'm a little concerned that it's more style over skill. How is he going to do when he has more restrictions on his song choices? I can already hear issues now. I think he's got a bit of a Susan Boyle feel good vibe now.
Rouge Kiss: The opening riff was weird. It was almost not a real riff. Also, why are they trying to rap? No. Stop it. The hook which was basically the only part they had to sing also sounded rough. I was amused by the random high note, though.
Overload: They sound better when they sing together. Some of those solos... whew. Also, they are so baby One Direction. If they get to the lives I hope they change up their look. I know they wrote this song but they might as well be covering a One Direction song for all the personality and originality it shows. It'll take me another performance or two to figure out who the talented one in the group is. There's always one.
Stevi Ritchie: Full audition today. He can clearly carry a tune. He doesn't have the strongest voice though. You could hear it from the beginning. He couldn't give the notes the power and punch they needed before he starting running around and dancing. But I do like him. I vote for him as our novelty/audience favorite act this year.
Kayleigh Manners: I know it's an actual song but I've only ever heard it during the opening credits for House so I found it hilarious when they started playing it during the audition clip they posted online. She can carry a tune but it's not just a lack of confidence issue. I don't know if she has powerful vocals. You cannot be Diana Ross on a show like this. Singer-songwriters with weak voices like hers make it by performing their own material. She didn't any crazy notes. She doesn't have a super unique voice. There was no power. I don't know what they see in her.
Jay James: God, his vocals were whiny and nasal. It was much better than the first audition but I could never listen to his music if he continued to sing like this.
One Heart: Yes, I used to like S Club 7 and watch their TV show. No, I did not enjoy this performance.
I hope they have a lot of clips from bootcamp and judges' houses aside from the performances because right now I'm finding it difficult to find someone to root for.
More Arena auditions!
Chloe Jasmine: It started off pretty well but as it went on it became clear that she has issues. She was going flat and her voice was just exposed as weak and not that remarkable. It's all vocal affectation and not proper singing. She yelps and bellows the song. Monroe wasn't the best singer but let's not insult her. If Chloe were much older and not as attractive she'd be one of the joke contestants. Katie Waissel. Katie Waissel.
Fleur East: I don't know if her voice is amazing but it's good and she seems to want to be more of a "performer" anyway. Of course, this might not be the best strategy since the park and barkers generally do better than dance acts. I think they can work with her voice but if she makes it to lives I see them making all the wrong decisions and letting her get eliminated early. Oh, I've played this game before.
Raign: What is with people doing the same song they auditioned with? I think her song sounds like an imitation of that Ellie Goulding/Lykke Li style but she needs a Florence Welch voice to make that work and she doesn't have one. Cheryl is acting like she's Kitty Brucknell but aside from the first audition, she doesn't seem that bad. So she cares more about what Simon thinks than what the others do. So what?
Emily Middlemas: I found this to be an irritating youtube cover. The vocals weren't great and the arrangement didn't add anything. I think it detracted by removing any poignancy.
Stephanie Nala: Not awful. Not remarkable. Thin voice with a bunch of issues that need to be worked on.
Kerrianne Covell: The song choice wasn't great. She fit her voice to it well. It reminded me of a lot of late 90's/early 2000's vocals but it also felt dated and I don't think it showed off her vocals that well. She's the most exciting one I've seen so far today.
Michelle Lawson: Oh, good. I was worried we weren't going to hear this song this season. NOT. I don't think she had the power or the full, rich tone you need for a song like this but it wasn't awful. They edited the clip like she was awful.
Scarlett Quinn: It wasn't perfect but it was leaps and bounds ahead of her first audition. I really was not expecting this. Her runs could be smoother and cleaner and she didn't quite pull off the power and charisma of Xtina but I was impressed by how she improved so quickly.
Ben Haenow: Oh, good. This song. He's good but I find his style super irritating. And since he's hitting all the notes they're not going to fix it when they start coaching him. So yeah. I guess I'm not going to be a fan of his. God, some of those vowels are just so grating.
Barclay Beales: Meh. But he's cute.
Ten Senah: There are people who don't like Jessie J. I'm looking at you, Girls in Hoodies podcast. I don't get those people. I think she has a killer voice and this is one of those songs where she really lets loose. The editing of the clip they posted on youtube was really choppy but still, I don't think Jessie has anything to worry about.
Janet Grogan: It wasn't perfect but it was a solid audition. Also, I'm definitely seeing why Simon took the Over-25's.
Charlie Jones: I feel like I've said this before but doing your take on something is not making it a completely different song. I can't sing Sara Bareilles' Brave to the tune of Lady Gaga's Born This Way and just be like, well, that's my interpretation, man. Also, the vocals were super weak.
Helen Fulthorpe: Yeah, I don't like blue-eyed soul even when it's a woman singing. I do think she has a good voice and she reminded me a little of the redheaded nun in Sister Act. I don't think this is her genre but I'd be interested to see what she could do with other songs. There was just no fullness to the vocal.
Tom Mann: He did a very of the whiny tenor thing which is one of the reasons I generally don't like tenors and he was cracking and sliding all over the place. But it was totally that 90s/early 2000's sound so I think the song choice really worked in his favor.
Jake Sims: Meh. I don't get it.
Jordan Morris: Pretty. Not perfect but fine.
Jake Quickenden: He's not Jessie J either. And he's got a bit of that whiny tenor thing. But other than that, it was OK. I don't think it got to a point where it felt impressive or special.
Leah Kennedy: I do not understand people picking big songs and then not bringing it. Did you think I wanted to hear you sing this song not as well? Also, I'm not sure what's airing in the UK but I feel like we're seeing a lot of people in the arenas who weren't in the auditions in the rooms.
Lola Saunders: A little bothered by her changing "uninspired" to "inspired." Look, this isn't the best version of this song I've ever heard and I heard quite a bit of strain in her vocal. But with the pack this year, she's a strong contestant in the Girls group.
Dean Bailey: I do not know this song but I can still tell the pitch is all over the place. The wrong places. I wish they'd put more Xtra Factor fun up on the youtube channel.