Halting Hex January 9, 2023 Share January 9, 2023 I don't know if we've got enough regular visitors to get up the sort of games we had on TWoP (Buffy Hangman, Twenty Questions, ABCs, etc.). but I figured we should have a thread for them, anyhow. (I've been rereading the Wayback version of the Twenty Questions thread, and dang, did I come up with some loopy ones. One had me both giggling and cringing, pretty much simultaneously.) And, let me propose a new idea…"Name That Episode". For this, you change an episode title slightly and provide a synopsis. No reason we couldn't do it Jeopardy! style, I suppose. Example: Quote Synopsis: The residents of a city in western New York defend against the Unholy Prince (Bator). Q: What is Buffalo vs. Dracula? Anyhow, if anybody feels playful, here's a sandbox. 1 Link to comment
Halting Hex January 12, 2023 Author Share January 12, 2023 Quote Synopsis: Amber Heard's ex has been causing the deaths of flu-ridden kids, and now Buffy has to stop it! Q: What is…Killed by Depp? I've got a million of them! (Well, a few dozen, anyhow. And yes, it would "Winona Ryder's ex-" contemporaneously; I just updated for simplicity's sake.) Link to comment
lembergwatcher January 13, 2023 Share January 13, 2023 (edited) Not familiar with the game but still... Quote Synopsis: Richard Wilkins has a death wish and he wants the whole Class of '99 to witness his dream comin' true. Q: What is Retardation Day, Parts 1 & 2? Edited January 13, 2023 by lembergwatcher Link to comment
Halting Hex January 15, 2023 Author Share January 15, 2023 Don't feel too bad about not being familiar with the game…I just made it up! Synopsis: Buffy's former Watcher starts to go out of control: wearing leather, getting over-aggressive on patrol and suggestively dancing with Ethan at the Bronze. Q: What is Bad Giles? (It's best to have the synopsis vary a bit from the actual events of the episode, I think; close enough to recognize, but enough of an alternate universe to justify the alternate title. JMO.) ***** Also, I've got a 20 Questions game if anyone's up for that. And then there's the game I've alluded to before, based on being able to identify lines of dialogue (Speaker, Speakee, Episode) and how they all correspond to a unifying theme. Ridiculously complicated, I agree…but I pretty much lived and breathed it for a few years back when. Link to comment
lembergwatcher January 15, 2023 Share January 15, 2023 (edited) Synopsis: Buffy's and Riley's out of control passion unleashes mini-Apocalypse in the Lowell House. Xander misses the chance to end things with Anya and stake Spike. Meanwhile the side of Giles we've never seen makes Willow question her newfound sexuality. Q: What is Where the Kiddies Hate Sex? Synopsis: Xander bumps into girl whose ex fell victim to Anya's lame demonic prank, while same old shit between Buffy and Spike prevents everyone from moving on. Q: What is Xander didn't get laid. Again? Edited January 15, 2023 by lembergwatcher Link to comment
Halting Hex January 16, 2023 Author Share January 16, 2023 (edited) Not quite. Now you're recapping the exact events of the episode, and just giving them a snarky title. Which can be fun, but isn't quite on point here. More in mind with my ideas would something like this: Quote Synopsis: Buffy and Riley have an endless bout of nothing but missionary sex, causing plants to spurt randomly at Lowell House, which convinces Anya to give up Vengeance forever and help Willow fulfill her dream of becoming a florist. Q: What is Where the Mild Things Are? Or: Quote Synopsis: Spike attempts to passive-aggressively blame Buffy for their relationship, only to be embarrassed by how she's way more interested in helping Xander's new girlfriend replace her lost puppy. Q: What is Beneath Who ? (Next episode: Ronnie goes to a Pet Loss trauma group to get over Rocky [the Yorkshire terrier]'s death and he meets Dawn, who is terrified she won't know how to break the news to Willow about accidentally killing Ms. Kitty, the last piece of Tara that Willow had left. But eventually they realize that their traumas are really about their guilt over having ended the lives of innocent, beautiful creatures, and they bond over it. Q: What is Shame Time, Shame Face ?) I know, I know…Willow would tell me I've thought way too much about this. (And it doesn't even involve prime rib!) Edited January 16, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex January 17, 2023 Author Share January 17, 2023 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Principal Mommy-Issues hopes to seduce Buffy, and takes her out for a nice dinner. Then he's disappointed to find she's stuffing her face with half of the items on the menu…on his tab. (Little does he know that Buffy hasn't eaten anything since she chomped on that girl's sandwich in Beer Bad. Apparently, Buffy refuses to eat if she has to pay for it, choosing to save up for those stylish-yet-affordable boots, since "stylish-yet-affordable" ≠ "free".) So Robin goes home, frustrated and financially drained. No wonder the First thinks it's good time to visit. Q: What is Worst Date ? Yes, stolen from the title of a few episode reviews, I admit. Sorry. Speaking of Buffy's priorities… Quote Synopsis: Spike is heartbroken to learn that Buffy has skipped out on his "Welcome Home…We Guess" party to, once again, go shopping for footwear. Q: What is Beneath Shoes ? In defense of Buffy, all that patrolling really wears out her soles. (This is why she was so impressed with Spike's having gotten a soul for her; she was confused by the homophone and thought he'd be helping her reduce her bill at the cobbler's.) Edited January 17, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex January 20, 2023 Author Share January 20, 2023 (edited) Quote Synopsis: The Glory story-arc is taking so long to develop that the viewing audience needs an episode just to let them stand up and stretch their legs. Q: What is Intermission ? I actually like 5.18 (apart from the Spuffy-ness), but the pun comes first! Quote Synopsis: Trying to stall out the story until the end of the season results in a semi-clip show (dictated by SMG's having to fly to Australia to film Scooby-Doo ) and the memorable scene where Glory wants to do the ritual and move the plot forward, only to be delayed by the Priest for blatantly phlebotinous reasons. Q: What is The Wait of the World ? "No, Glorificus! The season-arc may only be resolved in the finale!" remains one of my favorite made-up lines ever, I admit. Edited January 20, 2023 by Halting Hex 1 Link to comment
Halting Hex February 3, 2023 Author Share February 3, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: Giles is haunted when his past imperils his relationship with Jenny; his old Oxford chums come to visit and they are seriously uncool. Q: What is The Dork Age? Quote SYNOPSIS: Yet another vengeful Native American spirit attacks Sunnydale, but Buffy shoos them out of town by pointing out that they're not even in the right state. Q: What is Goodbye, Kiowa? Sorry; I've been a somewhat stressed out and so this is a bit of a relief. In other words, you might describe my emotional state as Pun Assembly Required. Edited February 3, 2023 by Halting Hex 1 Link to comment
Halting Hex February 8, 2023 Author Share February 8, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: After Cordelia tells Xander that he reminds her of a sexy Spanish swordsman, he dresses in black and goes adventuring on his own. Q: What is The Zorro ? Edited February 8, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex February 12, 2023 Author Share February 12, 2023 This isn't even Buffyverse related, but somebody was doing occupational puns ("I dated a fireman, but I got burned") so I figured I throw in a few, and just put them on Buffy's tab. All my own work, this is too trivial to bother with theft. Buffy dated a plumber…but the relationship went down the drain. Buffy dated a doctor…but she got sick of him. Buffy dated a banker…but she lost interest. And so forth. Link to comment
Halting Hex February 26, 2023 Author Share February 26, 2023 (edited) So I'm in the I Robot You Jane thread, and I see where I did that Haiku about Buffy's possibly-smutty motives for prowling the showers. and I thought it might be cool to do some to summarize (Summersize?) other episodes. But the only one that called to me immediately was The Body: Quote Joyce is dead. Really. Really dead. Really, really… Not just a little… Yeah, I'm still finding the ep a bit one-note, there. And on a familiar note: Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disheartened to find her new sister Slayer is beating her time with that cute guy Buffy thought she might want to date, doing so by bonding with him over an old sci-fi TV show. Q: What is Faith, Hope, and Trek ? Man, she's really going to be pissed once she learns that Cordelia's been doing the Vulcan Death Grip since she was 5, huh? Edited February 26, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex March 6, 2023 Author Share March 6, 2023 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Faith's first secret mission for Mayor Wilkins is to bring him the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker! Q: What is Truth or Consequences? Note: Truth or Consequences is the show that made Bob Barker a star as a game show host (1956-1975), before his longer stint onThe Price is Right. (1972-2007, so a few years of overlap.) And yes, Faith doesn't actually start doing missions for Hizzoner until the episode after Consequences, but I wanted to spotlight that we had a reference to Bob Barker in the dialogue and an episode with this particular name, so this is as good as I've got. Bob turned 99 this past December 12th, and is apparently in fine health. He came back to host TPiR on his 90th birthday in 2013; I wonder if similar plans for this December have been drawn up? Edited March 6, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex March 6, 2023 Author Share March 6, 2023 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Oz has come to win Willow back, but when she discovers that his cure for lycanthropy involves dropping his trousers and shaking his bare butt-cheeks at the sky, she decides to stick with Tara, anyhow. Q: What is Full Moon Rising? Edited March 8, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex May 8, 2023 Author Share May 8, 2023 Haiku for Chosen: Quote Goodbye, Sunnydale Buffy "beats" the First Evil By trashing her town Much as Whedon trashed the whole series, grumble mutter… Link to comment
Halting Hex May 25, 2023 Author Share May 25, 2023 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is dismayed when, due to a spell, her kissing Spike turns both of them into pigs. Q: What is Once More, with Squealing? Quote Synopsis: Buffy is distressed not merely because Spike and Drusilla have just come to town, but because her stress has resulted in a particularly-vicious bout of Hellmouth-induced constipation. Q: What is Stool Hard ? Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disconsolate when Riley leaves town because the Army wants him to investigate gang-infested urban areas. Q: What is Into the 'hoods ? Don't blame me, blame my dad! (Yes, he's been dead for over a decade now, but I'm not one to turn loose of an excuse. Sorry, Dad. R.I.P. And Happy Father's Day next month if I don't mention it.) Edited May 25, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex May 25, 2023 Author Share May 25, 2023 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is distraught when she discovers that not only has the wheel of cheese that Joyce keeps in the refrigerator become animate ("this being Sunnydale and all…"), but that it becomes angry if she doesn't make up a convincing fib before leaving the house. Q: What is Lie to Brie ? If that's not a new low, I'm scared to think what might follow… ETA: Something like this, for example Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disturbed to learn that not only have her and the gang's Teen Health assignments come to life, but that they're having an emotional crisis. Q: What is Sad Eggs ? Edited May 25, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex July 4, 2023 Author Share July 4, 2023 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Spike is back, and danger will follow! Except all that actually happens is various couples trying to work through their relationship iss-yews, instead. Yawnerific. Q: What is Lovers Talk (and talk and talk and…) ? Five consecutive scenes of Bleach-brain whingeing on about Drusilla, I remind you. Couldn't Vebber have had the vamp vamp about something else, if only to change things up a bit? Edited July 4, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex August 3, 2023 Author Share August 3, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: Buffy is discombobulated when Joyce decides to move the family to a small city in Alaska, but it actually seems to be working out. Q: What is No Place Like Nome? Yes, I could have done an Italian version based on Buffy's last-known (non-comics) address, but this is where my mind went. And I think it's funnier, anyhow. Quote SYNOPSIS: As annoyed as many viewers were at episode 5.19's scene of Buffy folding clothes, the audience becomes even more polarized when Dawn discovers that she has an erotic response to a particular dryer cycle and the Summers girls enter into a passionate incestuous affair that sees them spending a significant amount of time in the laundry room Q: What is Fluff Love? Sorry! This was going to be a nice wholsesome joke about Wiffy living the angst-free life of a "fluff" fanfic… …but then I remembered that the laundry scene is actually in that specific episode. And, much like Angel, I've always been weak… Edited August 3, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex August 12, 2023 Author Share August 12, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: In an attempt to avoid redundancy and open space on the production schedule, the two consecutive "Buffy gets over her issues" episodes planned for early in the season are combined into one, where cursed lager turns Buffy into a NOT-so-Little Red Riding Hood and at the climax, she stomps Parker. Q: What is Beer, Itself ? XANDER: And what did we learn about senior guys picking up freshmen girls? BUFFY (booming voice, since she's BIG): SQUISHY! XANDER: Good, just so we're clear. Editorial Note: The Death Penalty is always wrong (for humans). Even if it's Parker [/editorial] Edited August 12, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex August 15, 2023 Author Share August 15, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: Buffy is disbelieving when Jenny posits that her (Buffy) having sex with Angel might lead to his losing his soul and carving a swathe of homicide across Sunnydale. Q: What is Surmise ? Part 1 of a "two-night event", of course. Followed by… Quote SYNOPSIS: Buffy is disappointed to find that their night of passion has caused Angel to lose his drive for redemption (since he's achieved "true happiness" and all—his work is done, right?) and he now spends his days checking out the soap operas and waiting for Buffy to bring him some fresh blood. Q: What is Indolence ? Not to mention the part where he's swapped his trademark black duster for some sleep pants and a "Kiss Me, I'm Immortal" tee. The horror… Edited August 15, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex August 28, 2023 Author Share August 28, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: Buffy is disoriented when, in an effort to simplify Xander's character arc, the producers combine elements of his first-kiss girl in S2 (Peruvian origin) with those pertaining to his future uber-capitalist fiancée. Q: What is Inca Money Girl ? And continuing our jaunt through S2… Quote SYNOPSIS: Buffy is disgusted when she walks in on Joyce and her new boyfriend (who is so old-fashioned he may as well be from the Stone Age) Yabba-Dabba-Dooing it all over the house. Q: What is Fred ? "Nothing beats the machine, eh, Barn?" Edited August 28, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex September 11, 2023 Author Share September 11, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: Willow is disheartened when, ashamed of his cruel treatment of her while being possessed by a hyena, Xander's attempt to console the redhead with a kiss leads to only the most cursory moment of lippage, far short of the passionate smoochies she had been dreaming of. Q: What is The Peck? Yep, I'm still at it. Deal. Edited September 11, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex October 16, 2023 Author Share October 16, 2023 SYNOPSIS: Lyle Gorch faces the existential terror of trying to figure out to go on, since that there Slayer done dusted his darlin' Candy. Q: What is After WIFE! ? Link to comment
Halting Hex December 10, 2023 Author Share December 10, 2023 (edited) Quote SYNOPSIS: Buffy is disinterested when Angel returns to Sunnydale, since she's busy admiring Faith's curves. Q: What is Beauty and the Breasts? Ah, if only… Edited December 10, 2023 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex January 25 Author Share January 25 Synopsis: Buffy is disgruntled to realize that her newfound devotion to a writing exercise has been harming the group's internal cohesion. Q: What is 5-7-5 poems Corrode our Scoobs' friendship bonds "The Haiku Factor" ? Link to comment
Halting Hex February 23 Author Share February 23 (edited) Quote Synopsis: FIVE fuckin' Spuffy scenes (capped off by the immortal line, "I saw your penis") prove that Buffy is waaaay too fixated on her dear Ice Dildo, and clearly should no longer be in charge of the group Q: What is Never Lead Me? Granted, it takes ten more episodes for the gang to formally unseat her, but we know that Season 7 is not big with the pacing. Quote Synopsis: Giles is back from England and he's brought help…the resurrected Lancelot of Arthurian legend! Q: What is Bring on the Knight? Edited February 23 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex February 25 Author Share February 25 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disdainful when Willow reveals Oz's dark secret: he thinks he's the next Eminem and busts rhymes at the drop of a hat. Q: What is Phrases? "Vanilla Ice is cool. He's like Muddy Waters, only not." Edited February 25 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex February 28 Author Share February 28 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy finds it distasteful when the cafeteria responds to the snake-a-licious episode by restricting their chicken offerings to one particular piece of fowl. Q: What is I Only Have Thighs for You? All else aside, the lunch lady is breaking Willow's heart, since she's a Breast Girl. Don't like that? Don't worry, I've got worse! Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disillusioned when Angel taunts her that his humanity is completely gone, and if they resume their relationship, all he can offer is his impressively-thick* penis. Q: What is I Only Have Size for You? *-Yes, yes, this goes against all those "Never mind the Rom, Angel suffers from The Irish Curse" jokes, but The Pun Comes First! Edited February 28 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex February 28 Author Share February 28 (edited) Haiku for Welcome to the Hellmouth: Quote Buffy comes to town Meets Xander, Willow, and Giles Perfection follows I didn't say consistent perfection, but points for getting there when they did. To quote The Who: Quote If I told you what it takes To reach the highest high You'd laugh and say, "Nothing's that simple" And yet…sometimes it was. Respect. Edited February 28 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex March 4 Author Share March 4 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is dissolving into tears when Giles and Angel read her Inescapable Fate in the Codex…she will spend her life working at the chemist's! Q: What is Pharmacy Girl? Apothecary, Apocalypse…potato, potahto… Edited March 4 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex March 8 Author Share March 8 (edited) Topical, but hopefully not overly-political: Quote Synopsis: Buffy is dismissive when Spike returns from Africa, as she's far more focused on helping to prevent terrorist attacks on Israel. Q: What is Beneath Jews? Edited March 8 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex July 11 Author Share July 11 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is dispatched across the Atlantic to stop a prophesied Zombie uprising at the opening ceremonies for the Olympic Games. Q: What is Dead France Party? Oui, oui, c'est horrible. Pardonnez-moi. Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disheveled when the pipes at 1630 Revello break in early S3 rather than early S6 (since she has to shower at school for a week), but since Joyce is still alive at this point, the full-copper-repipe is no problem and Buffy gets to look pretty in time for her date at the dance with Faith. Q: What is Home Plumbing? "Ain't it funny how preventive maintenance always makes you hungry and horny?" —Faith, channeling Corky from Bound. Edited July 11 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex July 20 Author Share July 20 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is (swiftly) disrobing when she learns that Willow has gotten down with her bad self, quite literally, and the redhead(s) invite her and Angel and Xander and Giles to join them. Q: What is Döppelgängbang? Now, now…you knew that was inevitable. Edited July 20 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex August 21 Author Share August 21 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disconcerted when she discovers that stopping the fiend who murdered Emily and Morgan will require her to team up with Demon Hunter Kermit T. Frog, fresh from his undercover assignment on the planet Koozvain. Q: What is The Muppet Show™ ? Yeah, these ain't getting any better, lol. Edited August 21 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex August 26 Author Share August 26 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is displeased when the astrologer that Snyder hired to help with the Career Fair (on the theory that the students' destinies are "written in the stars") is so thickheaded that it takes Buffy two weeks to explain what "Capricorn, on the cusp of Aquarius" means. Q: What is What's My Sign, parts 1 and 2? Yeah, yeah, but it was either this or introducing the Fish-Men earlier in the season and calling the two parter What's My Brine? so I stuck with the zodiacal title. Now you know. Edited August 26 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex September 3 Author Share September 3 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is distinctly off when she returns from LA for her junior year: she claims she's heartbroken over her break-up with Gwyneth Paltrow, and when Angel visits her, all she wants is for him to help her learn an Irish accent for an upcoming film role. Q: What is When She Was Brad? And yes, 1997 isn't the best year for Brad Pitt jokes; he doesn't meet Jennifer Aniston until 1998 and Fight Club isn't until 1999. Sigh. Edited September 3 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex September 13 Author Share September 13 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Buffy is disenchanted when her reunion with Faith goes awry…her sexy Sapphic Sister Slayer has undergone gender-reassignment surgery and now identifies as a man (played by Nate Dushku). Q: What is This Year's Boy? You gotta have Faith! Take a hike, "Fabian". Edited September 13 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex October 14 Author Share October 14 (edited) Quote Synopsis: Captain America is surprised to learn that his long-lost "best buddy" has a mystic duty to battle the undead. Q: What is Bucky the Vampire Slayer? As about a dozen reactors to Revelations have mentioned, Thor could have taken a tip from Buffy on how to deal with a villain with a super-powerful Glove. Ta-FREEM that, Nutsack Chin! Edited October 14 by Halting Hex Link to comment
Halting Hex Friday at 06:12 PM Author Share Friday at 06:12 PM We don't seem to have a fanfiction topic, but even though this gets classified as "fanfic", I've always considered it a sort of satirical resource, and think it should be linked here. Thus: The Complete Buffy the Vampire Slayer in 10 Pages, by CelticPride I also want to find and bring up Oceana's seasonal "reviews", which dealt with individual seasons (not all of them) in this fashion. If only because I still remember this bit (wrt Into the Woods): Quote XANDER: And I am deeply and sincerely in love with Anya! AUDIENCE: Really?? Er, that's great…we guess. Link to comment
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