pandora spocks
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Posts posted by pandora spocks
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The bearded asshole in his bathrobe who's yelling in his bullhorn needs to go back inside or the neighbors will cause major damage to his face. Nobody--at least nobody sane-- wants to hear him scream about the joys of sleeping on a Simmons Beauty Rest. I'm sure his neighbors don't give a shit about him feeling ready to spring like a cobra. He'll need those cobra moves to escape from his murderous neighbors.
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When The Chew went on vacation, I decided not to watch the piecemeal shows. Now that new shows are on the horizon, the idea of watching seems repellent to me.
Reasons:
- Michael's braying laugh
- Daphne's goody two shoes persona
- Carla talking while she eats
- Mario's constant pimping of Parmigiano-Reggiano
- I can't find anything bad to report about Clinton.
- The audience's screams of delight when the word jalapeno or habanero is uttered
- Celebrity guests who have something to plug and have the who-gives-a-shit attitudes to match
- Gordon Elliott's unctuously douchy introductions
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I remember Herbal Essence's commercials promising the buyer "an organic experience" set to the orgasmic screams of overly amorous women shampooing their tresses. Those gals needed to get out more. Somehow Herbal Essence confused organic with orgasmic. Maybe they thought consumers were that stupid. To prove what original thinkers Herbal Essence were, the ads were aired when When Harry Met Sally had relevance.
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I like Welcome Back Kotter but it's hard to stomach at 5:30 AM. Shows from the late 50s-and 60s make for better early morning tv shows, imo.
I agree. I have to be wide awake to deal with Arnold Horshack's laugh.
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Alton Brown needs to shut up.
His programs gave me glimmers of his personality. The interview confirmed it: He's a ginormous horse's ass.
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I think her special pronunciation of taco is meant to further the idea that she is so damn southern that Mexican food is unknown to her. After all, all she ever eats is biscuits.
Yet Taco Bells are present in the south. Shhh! Don't tell anybody! Whether it's real Mexican food is open to debate. Does the breakfast detector/ defective/ defector know that she can have pseudo-Mexican food for lunch or would that blow her l'il ole biscuit-eatin' mind?
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TV Land started Bonanza's early episodes this week. It's to be expected that characters start out differently than in later episodes. Did the Cartwrights start out being gigantic assholes or is it my imagination?
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The jeopardy.com website has been updated and there is a new listing of the top 15 for the next TOC if you're interested in that. We've had a lot of really good players this year, several with the full 5 days or more wins. Just two weeks to go until the new season.....
I checked to make sure Spastic Dancing Jennifer wasn't in the TOC. As luck would have it, she didn't make the cut. Hallelujah! Does it make me a bad person to wish someone's misfortune?
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I wonder how much less medications would cost if the pharma companies weren't buying advertising time.
IMO meds would cost a lot less. Can you imagine how much commercial time on the evening news programs costs, much less air time on TV Land or INSP, bastions of baby boomer shows? Half the time I can't remember what the med names are, only the commercial content: High-fiving cholesterol lady, big bad wolf grandpa, horny lady with English accent, etc. We're bombarded with so many commercials, it's a wonder we know what our names are much less the names of these wonder drugs.
The drug names that I do remember are suddenly the object of class action suits. Not really a recommendation to try them. So the big pharm companies would do everybody a favor and cut back on the ads although I can't see that happening anytime soon.
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Consider me a little shallow but I was pleasantly surprised to see Pedro Pascal (Oberyn Martell from Game of Thrones) as Javier Pena. Game of Thrones Spoiler --->
Maybe he'll last longer here than on Game of Thrones but considering the high body count of this show, the prognosis doesn't look good.
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I don't know what comes next, probably either the Teen or College Tournament.
My cable guide says teachers.
This tournament will be new to me because I was in physical rehab after my surgery in early February. My roommate was a woman who had a constant throng of visitors whose chattering made Jeopardy viewing nearly impossible. Oh, that, and my bed being too far from the TV to read the clues.
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Who (or maybe what) is Guy Fieri?
Due to my intense dislike of him, I'll be happy to impart my knowledge of Fieri albeit with a jaundiced perspective. Fieri owns five restaurants, hosts two Food Network shows, Drive-Ins, Diners, and Dives and Guy's Grocery Games (ain't alliteration grand), and is noted for his trademark spiky platinum hairdo. On Drive-Ins, Diners, and Dives, he drives around the country chomping on the wares of mostly obscure eateries because people never tire of seeing obnoxious assholes stuffing their faces.
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The Zaxby salad boys are getting on my last nerve. I don't know who they are or if they're actually famous, but I want to smack them for bickering over a fast food salad.
Thomas Rhett and Brett Eldridge are both country music performers if that's any help to you. One of them had a gee-tar in the commercial to tip viewers off on their claim to fame. They're fairly obscure because I had to do a ton of googling to find their names. The use of the word Zalads for Zaxby's salads really makes me stabby.
For us lucky enough to have a Zaxby's in our area (southeastern U.S.), the possibility of seeing these commercials is high. They're a reliable barometer of a celebrity's fall if they're desperate enough to be in a Zaxby's commercial. Richard Dean (MacGyver) Anderson, Michael Clarke Duncan (God, rest his soul) and Jamie Pressley have all been in these commercials. The above-named country singers are using this opportunity to launch their careers before their downward spiral starts.
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Plus, by the end of this year a Game of Thrones themed version will be published and I am all about that. Better stock up on red pencils!
Not to mention the white pencils that will be used for copious snowfalls because WINTER IS COMING!
I've noticed that the old charity commercials with Sally Struthers, Mike Farrell, et all used to break down the cost of a monthly membership down to the price of a cup of coffee per day. With the outrageous prices at Starbucks, this comparison would drive
many potential donors away. Who would want to pay for a charity monthly membership based on daily Starbucks Espresso prices?
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What, you want a ribbon because you paid on time...like you're supposed to do? Do you get a certificate every time you take out the garbage too? I bet you even have grandiose music and confetti cannons queued for when you empty the dishwasher or dryer.
Do you know something, self-aggrandizing douche, if you enrolled in your insurance's automatic payment plan, you would have something less to worry about. Then you could pat yourself on the back for replacing a new toilet paper roll. God knows that's worthy of a commendation from the governor.
Liberty Mutual needs to hire spokespeople like Lindsay Lohan or Amanda Bynes. They could probably use the work to defray their legal expenses. LL or AB could tell an anecdote about their latest fender bender and how Liberty Mutual came through for them. It's better than hearing from the lady who was aghast at the possibility of driving on 3 wheels for the millionth time.
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No one gets thrown out of Walmart. One Black Friday several years ago, rushing shoppers trampled to death a security guard and went on about their maniacal shopping for Tickle Me Elmos and whatever other useless bullshit that was on sale that day. A man died under their feet, and no one got thrown out of Walmart. I think you are safe getting your penny bra!
If Walmart threw out every customer who was trashy, rude, or simply weird, there would be no customers left. The cesspool of society goes to Walmart after midnight bedecked in whatever glad rags was clean (or not) that day.
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Apparently, the way to eat tacos is to use something (refried beans) to "glue" the two tortillas together. We learned this by visiting the shop of someone who specializes in broccoli tacos. The authentic Mexican broccoli taco - the tourists can't get enough of them.
I learn something new every day. People who eat this combination would have enough fiber to make baskets or outdoor furniture.
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Of course FN can show Guy Fieri's multiple shows dozens and dozens of times a week, but naturally a show I really want to see is only being aired twice a week at inconvenient times for me.
It gets so tiresome to see Guy's porcupine hair when I only want to see something fresh and different. Thank God, Valerie doesn't resort to annoying phrasing such as little guy or ooey gooey a la Damaris Philips or sprinky dink a la Anne Burrell. Don't get me started on Giada's nauseating overuse of yummy!
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This isn't as much of a pet peeve as someone mourning the past. My TV watching these days is confined to PBS programming, Jeopardy, and series on HBO and Showtime such as Game of Thrones and Masters of Sex. The remainder of my "TV watching" consists of classic shows on You Tube, Crackle, and Hulu.
When it comes popular music, I wouldn't know the difference between Taylor Swift or Katy Perry. Classic rock is my staple because it's comforting to me. I fear that I'm turning into those boring old farts who start their sentences with, "Well, back in my day..." Now it's time to watch Bonanza on You Tube.
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As far as psychedelic videos go, in my opinion, nobody tops Grace Slick:
Whenever I hear White Rabbit I think about the scene in Platoon where Willem Defoe teaches Charlie Sheen about the glories of pot. Ironic, much? It was a sad trajectory for Jefferson Airplane/Jefferson Starship/Starship when they went from White Rabbit to We Built This City.
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Are there any people an TV as annoying as the three old ladies on the Volkswagen commercials? Two out of the three annoying harridans must be moms of the Sonic idiots. Jeez, their shrill whiny voices make me want to stick my head in the oven. If I'm like that when I'm old, please, shoot me!
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I agree. True Detective S2 was pretty bad, Westworld looks questionable, and the Leftovers is nothing a but a huge bummer with good actors (who deserve better). The ray of light for me is Vinyl. It looks cool as heck.
Color me impressed. With Terence Winter, Mick Jagger, and Martin Scorsese involved in Vinyl, I'll definitely be tuning in. I hope Ray Romano has a very miniscule role, can't stand him. Find out more, if you love 1970's era rock.
The jury is still out on Westworld, as far as I'm concerned. "'Westworld' is a dark odyssey about the dawn of artificial consciousness and the future of sin." Huh?
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Since the departure of True Blood and Boardwalk Empire, HBO's must-see Sunday night programming has lost a lot of its luster. That being said, Game of Thrones is the flag bearer of Sunday night but True Detective and The Leftovers are pale imitations of the grandeur that was The Sopranos and Deadwood.
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The cast, who were all CW-ready...
That's the best example of damning someone with faint praise that I've ever read.
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Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage
in Commercials
· Edited by pandora spocks
About the same length of time as filing a class action lawsuit against Invokana using an ambulance chasing lawyer.
If I saw a yelling dumbass on a slowly rotating bull as in the Glucerna commercial, I'd bribe someone to speed up the ride merely for the perverse joy of seeing him pitched on the midway (preferably in a muddy manure mixture). By the way, thanks, Glucerna for ruining one of my high school favorites, Slow Ride. It created the same unfortunate association as Singing In the Rain did in A Clockwork Orange.