I have to concur with others here, Alibelle, in that was an excellent write-up connecting the dots and trying to make any kind of sense in Laurel's and Oliver/Laurel's relationship. Though like statsgirl, I unfortunately don't think that's the EPs/writers intent, but it makes a hell of a lot of sense and probably much more more so in whatever they try to continue to pass on us of their supposed epic OTPs to end all OTPs. Such silly bullshit.
One could go further and suggest it may not even entirely be conscious on Laurel's part she's targeting Oliver due to money and social status. I'm not sure if this was ever explicitly stated in canon, but I always assumed Laurel - though she had two parents who were gainfully employed, they certainly didn't seem to be in the tax bracket of the Queens or Merlyns - had either scholarships or financial aid to get her into the same schools as Oliver and Tommy, thus how they all knew each other and grew-up together. Though being in these schools, she internalized any condescension or microaggressions from the super-rich kids who looked down on her. Having internalized this class discrimination and in some ways she hadn't entirely realized, she grows up wanting to retaliate and get revenge on these people, so decides she's going to land the richest guy in the school and by any means necessary (including screwing over her own sister to get him). However, this may have also partly been about survival from the other spoiled rich kids or even bullying being from such a different social class, being Oliver Queen's girlfriend probably provided for some protection from most of any or all bullying or snide comments, though perhaps not all of it. This could be coloring any 'love' she had and seems to still have for him, part of her unconsciously viewed him as this status symbol, but also someone that helped her fit in among the snobs (and, to a degree, became one herself, specifically anyone she perceives close or too close to Oliver barring his immediate family), his status was glamorous, but it also offered some protection. In which case, Laurel may have had DiD elements and seeing Oliver as some savior/protector more deeply entrenched in her character than anyone realizes.
However, one might also say she seemed to create this whole life between them in her head, had not only her whole life planned out, but his too and maybe something everyone even expected to happen. She then staunchly clung to this life-plan so hard and almost totally living in her own head rather than willing or able to see what was right there in front of her. Namely, Oliver's party boy lifestyle and his rampant infidelity probably wasn't all that cogent to that life-plan of hers, even if the sentiment on his side or mostly so, had been there. When Sara tried to help her face the reality of what Oliver was and what he was doing (and how much of a chip off the old block he was), Laurel shut her down, basically called her a bitch. To me, that's always read Laurel desperate to protect the unreality of her perception of Oliver and their relationship, basically attacked Sara for threatening that bubble she had around that unreality. However, it wasn't until the unavoidable and very harsh reality check of the Queen's Gambit sinking, with both Oliver and Sara on it, that bubble was finally popped for Laurel. Then had to likely face, not only the tragedy of the loss of her sister and her boyfriend, but the humiliation - maybe largely unspoken by most people barring the whispers behind her back - her boyfriend had been cheating on her with her own sister.
Though, unfortunately, didn't seem to be a truth she let effect her all that much considering she's kissing Oliver again by the third episode of the first season.
On Oliver's side of it, one could see him attracted to powerful, strong - and not just a little bit manipulative - women like his father apparently also was (Isabel Rochev, Helena Bertinelli and arguably Laurel)... but we also see Oliver drawn to kind, strong women too. Women that, as far as we're shown, have no agenda and come off more adult and mature than Oliver himself (McKenna, Shado, Felicity and what little we saw of his Baby Momma - what little description of her we got from Oliver and he describes her as a "good person" - she didn't exactly read like an Isabel or Laurel). One might see a divide here between the women he's attracted to (most of it seems to be about sex and control or, in Oliver/Helena's case, a mutual darkness) vs. the kind of women he seems to yearn for. Women possibly reflecting two sides of Moira Queen. On one side, sexy, controlling, dark and manipulative and on the other, the kind, attentive and nurturing mother. All these women are strong, intelligent and very capable. I'd say the most left field of all of them is Felicity and that's more her role also as Oliver's His Girl Friday and her also functioning partly as a comedic character in "Arrow". She not only provides support to Oliver and a softer approach than maybe Dig (though she's also called him on his bullshit on occasion), but she also provides a levity in the storyline that few other characters have provided.
It does all make sense, but unfortunately I just don't think that's how we're supposed to read Laurel or the Laurel/Oliver relationship. We are supposed to see them as some epic romance.... though somehow the EPs/writers made about the least romantic 'epic romance' I've ever seen in recent television.
