Mrs. Button

I just read somewhere that broken people love brokenly, and it really fits her. She is obviously self-destructive & making bad decisions left and right (and would definitely try my nerves IRL) but I do feel bad for whatever she suffered to get her to this place. You know it wasn't pretty. Alyssa reminds me so much of a woman — down to her looks, whiny vocal inflections and mannerisms! — in my town that I guess I would term a frenemy. Introduced by a mutual artist friend, we are both creatives in a very un-creative town, so you would think we had a lot in common. At first I thought so too, but she is very into labels, status symbols, bragging and social climbing — and is also really insecure in that way where you always need to oneup/correct the other person in "conversation." I have hardly taken a vow of poverty, but that's not my speed at all. I am now civil but avoid her like the plague. I could easily see her carrying on like this and being so incredibly entitled and self-centered, she is totally unable to read the room. So I guess my point is Alyssa really is not even original. She's truly a very basic b*tch.

... for a virginal bride, she was practically naked at the altar. Sort of a virginal faux pas there (to say nothing of incredibly bad taste). She loves attention, but inside she's as cold and dead as Luke was after sex with Kate. While I feel bad for Gil, in the end he dodged an enormous, tacky, overpriced bullet.

She still looks like a Dollar General J Lo to me. She may be able to afford couture, but she doesn't have the eye for anything other than the price tag. Just because it's expensive doesn't mean some finesse isn't called for. They do deserve each other, and they won't be making anyone but the other miserable. Go for it! No worries, she can probably put off interacting with THAT for at least a year.

If you aspire to: — house in burbs — nanny — say 2 vacations/year — mommy makeovers post-delivery from a good plastic surgeon ....that is a VERY expensive lifestyle. I don't know what living expenses are like in Texas, but in our neck of the woods, that's a minimum of $200K, probably more with a full time nanny. Myrla was quite sensible to want to make a 20% down payment, but taking into account saving for retirement, as well as various kid expenses — for several kids no less! — that don't let up (diapers to sports to college), the hits just keep coming. Then there are unexpected home and health expenses you have to be ready for — furnace, new roof, etc. A kid breaks their arm at a birthday party and needs emergency surgery, that's $7K after insurance (at least it was for us a decade back, now it would probably be a lot more). That's a recipe for bankruptcy, or at the very least carrying a lot of debt. Some people are fine living like this, personally I would not sleep very well. And once you're in the suburbs, a big segment Keeps Up With the Joneses so they never feel "less than" — that means if the neighbors get a Tesla, your life feels empty without one too. That is not to say there's anything wrong per se with this type of lifestyle, especially if you feel you have earned it, but my goodness, know what you are getting into. In my experience, those who navigate it the easiest have family money/help; those who navigate it realistically understand they can't realize every last whim. I'm not a huge fan of Gil's needling — frankly it's equally negative as the negativity he is complaining about — but both of them need to take a good hard long look before they make that down payment or even worse, bring a child into it. In the end, I don't think they value the same things, and since they don't have a history, there is no desire to find a happy middle ground. Someone who risks their life every day to go into a burning buildings to save people and animals, they see life in terms other than numbers on the paycheck, and that is what Myrla is all about.

One thing about Johnny, there's never a dull moment. The guy is just a laugh a minute, huh? Daddy-driven meltdowns followed by predictable attacks on other people's integrity. Please don't ever procreate and inflict this dysfunction on another generation. Being obsessed with being poor/ avoiding hardship and then wanting "only the best" seem like two sides of the same coin to me. Until she works through and accepts whatever hardships she endured and honestly concludes that she didn't deserve any of it, she'll always have her eye on the next shiny trinket, which — shocking! — will never soothe the old pain. They MUST have incredible make-up sex. I'm guessing that and the contract are the only reasons Zach is sticking around. Michaela needs to be introduced to the wonderful world of vibrators. Just don't throw it during your next tantrum or it won't work when you really need it. #themoreyouknow

Whatever it was, it was worth every penny. If they own a hangar, it's not about the $$, it's about public humiliation. Adios Purple Eyeshadow, she of the crashed out couches and very drunken diatribes. I am sure it will take decades for his Mom to recover from the experience. Here's hoping the other brother is still married, if only for her sake.

Oh my goodness, they come in kits! Meanwhile the one on top of this page looks like like the dressed-down version of their house, minus the bells and whistles: https://www.worldwidesteelbuildings.com/steel-buildings/barndominiums/ I guess the metal would be a dealbreaker for some (*cough*Myrla*cough*) I think the preface "mc" implies the veneer of luxury over something that is not always structurally sound or classic in the architectural sense of the word. So barndominiums are definitely on the same family tree IMO. I agree with those who said she is somewhat evenly matched with Chris and pretty much no one else we have seen on this show so far. He would go toe to toe with her and never back down. One wouldn't make it out. My $ is on Michaela FTW since she is craftier — you can tell she is something of a planner — and could probably come up with a pretty good booby trap. She'd poison him or do something super villainous. Chris is just loud and more of your garden variety narcissist.

Very well said IMHO. Perhaps my favorite character this week — certainly the one most abused for no reason — was the vacation house. I can't figure out if it should be referred to as a McBarnSion, or is it more of a McMansion Barn? Also, it looked like an industrial space that had been converted into a barn, then turned into said McMansion? Does this happen a lot in Texas? Can anyone enlighten this Ohioan b/c I NEED to be in the know if a new "Mc" is ascending upon us. It did look posh (minus the 99 cent cowboy hats and cans of tomato sauce etc.— has there ever been a stranger combo?) but it was obviously oddly uncategorizable to me.

Her behavior is triggering for me, and I have a TV screen protecting me. I am sure there are many wonderful aspects to her personality and she deserves happiness like anyone else, but she has some serious emotional work to do before getting married or even dating. She is the kind of person that would burn a house down while raging over a Three's Company-type of misunderstanding, and then once it's explained to her, play the "look what you made me do!" game and blame you for the fire. Whether or not she then tries to throw you in too is anyone's guess. Just part of the never-ending surprises of her wacky personality!

I am 52, I have as many years as a deck has cards (minus Jokers). I have been married for 15 years (my 2nd marriage, 1st was a train wreck), with a 14 year old who, like all teenagers, pushes our buttons as much as possible. I guess it's crazy, but my husband and I are deeply in love, much more so than when we married in fact. We can't wait to see each other after a long day and definitely carry on like teenagers in private (you can only imagine how disgusting our daughter finds our romance lol). We're not alcoholics or living in fantasy worlds, we're just still very attracted to each other and yes, while it is an "in love" feeling, it is deeper than that as we have been together for some time and know each other pretty well. If I didn't have this type of marriage, I don't know that I'd want to be married. (We both suspect many of our married couple friends somewhat despise each other; with homes and mortgages and kids and college, those responsibilities can turn a marriage into more of a business.) So, I had a real problem with the way Dr. V told Ryan he was going to end up single if he held out for that type of romantic feeling. I guess in that case I would be alone too! Not that he's doing anything else right necessarily, but if that's important to him in a marriage, he should have it. Then the only reason he came back to the apartment was because he didn't want to go back to serial dating. So romantic :) I think Viviana would just say whatever she could to guilt/convince him to stick around for filming. Who cares about the psychology behind it all? I really, really like that Lifetime made a concerted point of making sure that all the grooms had their say in disapproving of his actions. Guess after Chris they realized they needed to draw a line somewhere! This is supposed to be Television for Women, after all. JFKFC.

No wealthy man with a shred of self-assurance would find her interesting. But someone who is nouveau riche who needs to endlessly one-up the Joneses to cover their immense insecurity, yes absolutely. Not a jury in the world would convict you. Maybe because he's not whining about it? I'm sure if he did it on camera they would have shown it.

Damian is SO ugly, like remarkably ugly — however the only reason it is so glaringly apparent is because he's supposed to be desirable, with girls fighting over him?? Maybe that's why they showed his car, to show something attractive about him? Amber always looks smelly to me, and doesn't really seem like the maternal type to say the least. Hopefully her doctor mentions that epilepsy medicine becomes less effective when you drink, and that drinking may even bring on seizures. The more you know!

Apparently I'm in the minority because I was cheering for Kevin the whole time. Jake was already playing the victim — "oh, this is my last chance EVER!" — BEFORE the wedding. I still don't know where he got the idea that men are washed up at 40, are his ovaries drying up? Then he turns every interaction into the You Don't Get Me Comedy Hour and Let's Visit Jake's Gut, with special appearances by Jake is Angry Over Many, Many Slights. Every time one is addressed, another appears, offset by guest appearances of Forced Hug Guilt. But yes, it ALL would have been completely different if only she had worn the bracelet, or thanked him adequately, or kept it in the same state, or hugged him, or invited him for drinks, whatever. He always finds something to whine about while making it the other person's fault and refusing to see how they may have played into it, ie, a toxic nightmare. It comes down to being right and in control. Unfortunately, once someone (male or female) is skeeved out like Haley obviously was, there's no going back unless you can actually start over on a fresh, grudge-free page. But that can't happen when one person is already keeping score. You can't guilt or force someone to like you, which was Kevin's point. Ever heard of charm? It's sad because I do think Jake has a lot of positive qualities — you could see that with the guys — but all this nonsense overshadowed it. FWIW I don't particularly like or dislike Haley — I think she is not suited to marriage, which is something women get a lot of grief about — I just think he needs therapy and they were really mismatched. After the experiment doesn't work out, more mature people say things like: I wasn't always my best self; I made mistakes; there were definitely times I could have been more patient or compassionate; I learned stuff about me I can work on — but not Jake. He's *STILL* revisiting the stupid bracelet. I get it, his ego was wounded ... but you are doomed to a dysfunctional, never-ending Groundhog Day if you insist you acted perfectly at all times & instances.

Thank you! And I agree both Vinny & Ryan seem fun ... just not as husbands. I am starting to suspect a good 85% of the people go on here not because they genuinely want to get married, but to kick off their D-List Reality Career. I even wonder if some of the couples on the couples show (don't watch personally — seems very scripted IMO) would have split up long ago were it not for those paychecks and "fame."

I would be a bridesmaid for eternity rather than be saddled with any of these grooms for even 2 hours, sorry. Granted, the women are not perfect by any means, but I would take a lifetime with only cats and girlfriends for company over one spent with Eggshell Vinny, Motivational Speaker Ryan, Popeye Caveman, Crazy Chris, or Mr. Desperation. I actually do like Vinny as a person, but I don't really think he's quite ready for marriage, he still has some stuff to work out within himself. These types of companions are something women are supposed to aspire to? Really?? If my daughter brought any of them home, I'd have nothing but questions. She did say they slept together early on and left it at that. When put on the spot at the reunion, she answered an obviously uncomfortable question the best she could. Maybe she IS frigid, maybe he IS into S&M, who among us really wants to summon those images?? It's obvious the sex was not only not good, she really craved physical distance from him afterwards. A different sort of guy would have shown patience — like Jamie and Doug, and she was practically vomiting at the wedding — and maybe the situation could have been salvaged. But they're not a fit obviously. I still say the forced hugging really put her over the edge ... it was really embarrassing to watch and didn't do him any favors.