Bronx Babe

What I don't understand about Giant is why did George Stevens, who was normally such a meticulous director, allow the stylists to give all the main aging characters that same silly blue-gray hair? On a more serious note, I of course will listen to the medical professionals and act accordingly when the time comes.

I've never been to Lake Como but have watched endless videos on YouTube. Exquisite -- the vacation site for all those Roman emperors. The Amalfi Coast isn't too shabby either, lol. But first and foremost I'm drawn to the south of France. That's my "soul" place.

Good advice, @SuprSuprElevated Sometimes my friend is able to switch up our visits and I'm glad of that for the reasons you state. I'm always polite to the staff but assertive, letting them know by my body language and attitude that I "mean business". I make it a point to know all their names (but remembering is sometimes difficult, lol) and let them know how appreciated they all are, because they tell me that more often than not, the patient's families assume a dismissive air. I make my concerns known without alienating anyone. (this is one area I'm thankful to be a Libra, lol -- diplomatic, charming, but firm (Taurus rising) Frankly I wouldn't mind Clooney and clan "invading" my Italian Riviera fantasy. They're a class act.

I saw your post at our other place -- my heart goes out to you. She is at peace now free from the suffering of that horrendous disease but of course it is a bitter loss and I offer you my prayers and a lot of hugs.

Thanks so much, @Coffeecup I've just been inundated (word list) by several hospice services calling me on the phone. All this has been within the space of three days after the attending physician at Mom's nursing home suggested it as a non-death sentence option, since my mother does not suffer from a terminal illness or pain. This doctor said my mother could be with us for another year, or pass tomorrow just from so-called "natural" causes. No guarantees. I do not think Mom needs hospice at this time but it is still all too confusing. She has rallied somewhat -- her shift nurse just told me Mom's heart rate is being successfully regulated by medication (even though it is still a bit fast) but her other vital signs are good. "Stable" really doesn't mean much to me because of course that could flip in an instant. She ate some breakfast and is resting comfortably now but every time the phone rings I get knots in my stomach and feel like I'm going to pass out from anxiety.

Oh my goodness, @seahag, LOL I'm (practically) speechless! Did she get a good deal on the gold fillings?

Mom's brother-in-law (my Uncle Irving) had a mother who lived to 105. Sharp as a tack and (according to family legend) a controlling shrewish bitch right up till the end. Nobody mourned.

@seahag I hope you're feeling better! Mama Hag is one organized woman, lol. Will she be "wearing" Diamonique?

Oh those hugs feel so good, my friend! Just like my old lost-in-transit teddy bear! (I swear I am not like Lisa) Mom cannot comprehend much of anything now unfortunately so I have to make decisions for her, and the hospice option is one I will take into consideration.

Such a devastating loss for you, @walnutqueen I am hugging you right now. So true. And for me, a good bad movie is the best.

I will definitely listen, @ennui

@walnutqueen I'm so sorry to hear that your mother passed. She had the benefits of the Canadian health care system.

I'm looking at Lake Como summer rentals right now for the two of us and anyone else here who wants to come along! I'm in Boca Raton, Florida, where we have excellent access to all kinds of senior care; however it really is tricky for a "novice" to navigate The System. After the nursing home attending physician mentioned hospice to me, several hours later I received a few phone calls from hospice "representatives" who wanted my "business". This is what kind of threw me -- I just assumed everything was all done at the nursing home. They were asking me questions about Mom and offering to give me the best services, etc. It felt very, how shall I say, cut-and-dried, also "competitive".

Since I don't drive a friend takes me to see Mom once a week; unfortunately it cannot be more than that as my friend has her own family problems to deal with (triplet male grandkids). So I'm always on the phone about three times a day asking the nurses for detailed updates. I speak with Mom in the morning and evening. One time I called and a nurse I wasn't familiar with said "Oh, yes, they told me you call all the time" I was like "Yes, she's MY MOTHER"

I'm so glad you had such a positive experience with hospice and MamaCarpe! Thank you so much my friend for your kind words.

Ha!! "It's easy when you play it cool....." I wish. Hello, @TexasTiffany (btw, do you like Giant?) thank you so much for chiming in. Unfortunately Mom cannot answer any questions so it's up to me to sort it all out. I do feel like I will make the best decision even though of course it all feels like I just want everything (except Mom) to go away, leave me alone, waaaah!! I want my Maypo! I wanna be a kidlet again! I don't want these adult responsibilities! Waaah! Okay, I got that out of my system!

Mom is okay for now. The aide gave her some Ensure which she drank. She is sleeping comfortably. Her vitals are good. I will try to get some sleep soon although not sure this will be possible; however, George Stevens' Giant is on TCM, a sure cure for insomnia. (I do love the score, however)

It's 10 p.m. now -- I have Man With The Golden Arm on TCM in the background. I'm going to call the nursing home and find out how Mom is doing.

I called upon Bronxoni a few minutes ago but she ignored me and kept insisting that Lisa Robertson will soon marry the Carlo Ponti lookalike and move to the Italian Riviera. I told Bronxoni to lay off the cooking sherry. I'm hoping upon hope that Mom won't need hospice but if they come around to evaluate and say that she does, should I assume they only have her best interests at heart? I swear to you I'm not any sort of paranoid person! Like your mother, my mom also enjoyed her time at assisted living. She was leading a relatively "normal" life there but of course as you say a nursing home is another story entirely. Now she is a "patient" and not a "tenant" and that, I feel, also contributes to decline, even though it would probably be inevitable.... Yes, we are only human and no, you are not callous.

Does your family play Vicki Carr records?

LOL Men! The "System". It somehow seems so Orwellian....

@imisspuddy I'm sending all my love to you and your mother; may she continue to thrive. Thank you so much, my friend, for your comforting words and tender thoughts. Not.

Thank you, @Fishy, sweet Pisces.

@imisspuddy, if only The Great Bronxoni would stop futzing around making predictions about shopping channel hosts and start paying more attention to my life..... Wow, your mother really is a marvel! And it's interesting that you knew intuitively she didn't need hospice. I wish I could say the same about Mom, just not sure at this point. I want to trust the health care professionals who are taking care of her but a few people are so to speak whispering in my ear telling me that unless I call the nursing home 24/7 to find out how she is being treated, Mom will be "neglected" by the staff in one form or another.

@ennui As I understand it, it is a "visiting" hospice. They come one or twice a week but do not give any medical help that the nursing home isn't already providing. Mom doesn't have a terminal illness and isn't in any pain. Of course the dementia is progressing and she needs assistance with most everything but is not what I would call in a vegetative state in any way. Mom is responsive but I do think just the fact she is in a nursing home sort of "speeds up" the decline -- it's like a Catch 22. The nursing home aides have 20 patients to look after and Mom is only one of them. They spend about five minutes helping to feed her but when they leave the room she doesn't eat; however, she's not wasting away and appears to be at a decent weight. She's not lying on her bed all day and all night slobbering or raving but sitting quietly in a wheelchair watching television. But obviously she's not getting any "better".