PRgal
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Posts posted by PRgal
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I hope they'd do this again. I don't know how far they can trace back, but my last name at birth (i.e. my maiden name) has aristocratic roots. I have a kinship book, but it doesn't go THAT far back. Don't know if you can even trace back like 3,000 years.
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3 hours ago, isalicat said:
Why can't you end eating with your parents several times a week? Do you know anyone else who does this? If it is stressing you out, they are interfering with your parenting decisions and influencing your son to think wrongly about what he can and cannot eat (and anyone with any teeth can eat carrots, for God's sake!), then just tell them its not working out to continue this situation and scale back to one or zero dinners a week with them. Seriously - you are going to teach your child that being a grown up includes being bullied by one's parents in addition to possibly gestating food disorders down the line for him with the tension around food at your dinner table. Protect yourself and your OWN family (son, husband) first. You don't need this - life is full of obstacles we can't anticipate, so why endure that which we can change?
It's hard for me to set boundaries with them. They feel that they will help encourage my son to eat more (they think he's too skinny, but that's just how he's built. He's a bony kid. And just because he's a bony kid at 5 1/2 doesn't mean he will when he's 15. I don't know why they forget that). If I told them they can't come more than once or twice a week, then they'll say that I'm disrespectful. They have help cooking their meals. I'm in the middle of putting together a recipe binder for her and since I'm involved with communicating with her as well, I'm going to be telling her which recipes to make each week once the binder is done. In the mean time, I just have to deal.
p.s. my dad claims that I'm anxious because I don't eat like he does/his idea of "balanced." He also thinks I need to put on weight prior to my surgery (all my doctors tell me I should just be my normal). Truthfully, my mom gives me more stress than my dad. She's turning into my grandmother, who was the Queen of Fake News when she was in her 70s. Now I'm worried I'd be that way 30 years from now.
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My parents STILL don't understand (and are extremely critical) of how I eat. They kept on telling me that my son's baby teeth aren't ready for raw carrots, but in reality, he gets baby carrots at school as part of his school meal plan (seriously, this kid will eat them plain, no hummus or (blech!) ranch). He eats them. I've seen him eat them. I know that he doesn't eat it as much when my parents are around, probably because he's so influenced (fearful, maybe?) by the grands when they're here. To them, I eat like a foreigner (or "hip white girl"). Well, I KIND OF AM a foreigner. I mean, I was born in Canada. To an immigrant family, yes, and yes, their cuisine very much influences my home cooking, but I'm not them. Anyone else have this experience. It's to the point that they stress me out, but I can't end our several times a week family dinners (they live in the same building and will eat with us). They want my son to eat the food they bring and not my stuff. I swear they think it's puke.
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Two pics taken from my kitchen! This was just before totality.
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21 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:
I didn’t get any solar glasses so I’m staying indoors
I'm watching it on NASA's website. It's getting darker here in TOronto.
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22 minutes ago, Browncoat said:
Incidentally, nasa.gov is livestreaming the eclipse from all along the path of the eclipse.
Sadly, it's pretty cloudy here, and only supposed to be about 88%, so I might only get to see it via NASA's website!
Same. People are driving south to Niagara Falls from Toronto to view it. But it's also really cloudy here.
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@Yeah No A lot of people are very sheltered. And I think some children of immigrants can be even more so at times. My parents grew up working class and lower middle class, and I think they did their best to isolate me from some people. They meant well. They didn't want me to see too much suffering, and would have freaked out at the idea of me taking a gap year in a developing country (gap years weren't really a thing in '98 when I graduated from high school anyway). It's one thing to, say, sort food at a food bank or something like that, but to be fully hands on for longer periods of time? They wouldn't have liked it. I remember being told to "stay indoors" after a music theory exam at a high school that didn't even look like it was all that inner city. I don't know why. And when Chinese Canadians moved out of Chinatown and into various suburban communities, I was warned not to go to Chinatown. They believed the suburban Chinese communities were safer. I'm being honest, that's what they said. Unless it was lost in translation somewhere.
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I find it endearing to see seniors get together at McDonald's, Tim Horton's, Wendy's, mall foodcourts, wherever for coffee every morning. It allows them to get out of the house and socialize. And that's good for their health, delaying the aging process.
As for coffee itself, I'm a coffeeholic. My mom doesn't understand how I could drink espresso because to her, it's much to bitter (okay, I typically put maybe half a teaspoon of milk, but if you gave me espresso or a cup of black coffee, I'd happily drink that).-
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Amazing time at my son's "Day in the Life of a Kindergartner" event today. We got to have lunch together (they served chicken fingers and roasted potatoes. Salad was available too, which is what I took (I'm pescatarian/vegetarian before dinner...long story) and fruit at the table for anyone who wanted any. My son refused, but I gave him a few grapes, just in case. He did have cucumbers and cheese (I suggested that he use the mini cheese slices as sandwich filling with two cucumber rounds as "bread"), but also refused at first. I wonder if it had to do with showing face in front of his buddies...lol) and then he showed me what he was doing in class (like his weekly journal where he writes out what he did over the weekend. His printing is very neat for a 5 1/2 year old!). We adults also got to sit through their French class and helped out with art. We made handprints on clay! It was a lot of fun. :).
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Is it possible to move some of the replies from the other thread referencing this episode over here?
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OMG, speaking of high school reunions, I just received an email from my alma mater about them "reevaluating" their year rep program and asked us whether we still wanted to continue our role as reps. They included an attachment of responsibilities which sounded like being on a board. There were meeting attendance requirements as well. I replied by asking whether meetings virtual or in-person since it matters to me as a mom of a younger child. I think the regular meetings, even if it's not YOUR YEAR is important, since being a rep isn't JUST about the big reunion, which, for us, happens every five years.
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1 hour ago, Suzn said:
I guess either no one watched last night or no one was interested.
I was impressed by Lena Dunham's thoughts on what she learned about her ancestors. Reconciling the things to be proud of with unfortune slave ownership was something she was working out and coming to terms with it.
I'm really looking forward to next week with the non-celebrities.
Regarding Lena Dunham, I think everyone will find something about their ancestors that would be considered inappropriate by today's standards. I often tell people that at least one of my great-grandfathers had concubines/more than one wife. I mentioned this on another person's Substack post and one of the replies came from someone who said she felt badly for my great-grandfather's concubines/sister wives and "countless other women" who had to go through that. However, those for those women, it was the norm. And we can't use our normal for them (I told her that it was a very outsider perspective). Plus just like marriages everywhere, abuse happens in some while not in others. I'm not ashamed at my history that these relationships occurred. It was just a thing.
Hierarchy is STILL a thing in East Asian cultures (just look at how we address family members. Each and every person has more than one title, according to how they're related to another. As in, you call your dad's older brother one name, but said uncle's children will call your dad something else (by the way, you'd call that uncle "Bak" while your cousin(s) call your dad "Suk").
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@Yeah No: I have a bar of Taza’s 95% dark chocolate in front of me (unopened) and half the bar has 2 g of sugar. But it’s also 210 calories and half of one’s daily intake of saturated fat. If you’re not familiar with Taza, it’s a direct trade brand based in Massachusetts. It’ll probably take me forever to go through an entire bar. I was kind of taught to savour chocolate.
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15 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:
Very easily. I eat plain popcorn with no flavorings, butter or salt. I, by default, have been on my Dad’s low to no sodium diet for decades. When you aren’t used to it you don’t crave it. It also gives me difficulties as prepared food, eating out or regular canned foods are usually too salty for me. Even when I try to use the lower sodium options. Basically I have to cook from scratch every night.
That's true. I didn't grow up with a lot of North American "kid" foods like boxed cereal (we mostly ate plain instant oatmeal, though I DID get the flavoured stuff in high school...I probably ate that once a week at most) and cookies, ice cream and cake (and pop) were once in a while treats. I just don't want that stuff. I didn't even finish my Halloween candy growing up. I don't understand the whole concept of eating ice cream when one is depressed. It wasn't like it was "forbidden" - we just didn't buy it.
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Another update: I MAY have succeeded in getting my book into an indie bookstore and will hopefully have it there in time for Asian Heritage Month in May (which is also Jewish Heritage Month). Despite being specific to certain holidays, the very fact the family in the story is Jewish/Asian makes it appropriate to promote in May as well. And again around Rosh Hashanah, of course.
And book #2 is coming soon.
(besides reading to my son's class, I also had the opportunity to read to Grade 2s at my alma mater! The kids were very well behaved and mostly patient, saving all their comments and questions until the end. Two years makes a big difference (and I suppose being girls only does too)!!! Gives me A LOT of hope))
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On 3/26/2024 at 5:19 PM, isalicat said:
I have entirely switched from using potatoes in my beef stew to using turnips - you get the same addition of something bland and "potato-y" but with a little less carbs and more vitamins. I also throw in a quartered orange (leave the peel on) for the first hour of simmering (at the same time as I add lots of red wine and the water or beef stock), then take the orange all out - gives a lovely flavor and the acidity brings out the flavor of the meat and makes it more tender.
Squash works too (though I think it's higher in carbs than turnip)!
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2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:
Actually, nobody's ever told me that I couldn't possibly understand student debt because I never had it. I was just searching for an advantage I have and used my parents paying for college and law school as an example.
Frankly, if someone DID tell me that, I'd just ignore them. For one, it wouldn't happen because I wouldn't wade into student debt discussions except to try to brainstorm how to fix it. But if they took offense at my trying to fix it, I'd again ignore them because I personally don't believe people have to have a lived experience in order to understand something. They can believe otherwise. I don't care.
Actually, that's the sort of thing that clearly is prohibited. As it should be--it's just rude and doesn't advance anything.
My problem with the culture check is that it puts people with advantages into the same category with people with disadvantages, and tells us (I think--I swear I don't understand it) to acknowledge the advantages due to their background. What good does it do me for you to acknowledge my advantages?
So that's dumb, but even dumber is the mandate to create a more understanding relationship with the people with advantages. I just don't understand why there needs to be a rule about dealing with people with advantages.
Or maybe they ARE addressing people calling others over-privileged brats? If so, why does it have to be couched in such touchy-feely terms? Doesn't "don't be a dick" cover that, without treating people with advantages as a special case?
And some people don't think they have advantages, despite being of certain backgrounds. Or they're categorized as being disadvantaged because of their background, despite clearly NOT being so. And a lot of "culture check" people don't want to acknowledge that it's the case.
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I still see carob in stores. I've never had it and it doesn't sound all that appealing, anyway. I mean, if I want low sugar, I'll just go extra dark. I like it extra dark anyway (I've even had 100% cacao!). And Happy Easter to all celebrating (whether of the religious variety, commercial or a bit of both)!!
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31 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:
My problem is that the differing background the post mentions is people who have advantages due to their backgrounds, and we're supposed to "work on creating a more aware and understanding relationship with them." Why do these people need to be coddled, and more importantly, HOW do we create a more aware and understanding relationship with them. And what is an "aware relationship"?
I went to college back when tuition was a couple of hundred bucks a semester. Hell, law school was like $350 a semester at a top tier school. My parents paid for it and I've never had any student debt. That's definitely an advantage due to my background (and the luck of timing). What steps are y'all supposed to take to create" a more aware and understanding relationship" with me? (Leaving aside the WHY I need to have more special treatment when I'm already skating on my advantage.)
Moreover, what good would it do to highlight this advantage in any discussions with me, other than to criticize me by saying, "You have no idea what a burden student debt is." How would it even come up?
This culture check, especially without any reference whatsoever to what caused it to be pertinent here, is just gobbledygook to me. I literally do not understand it. I don't understand why it's here, I don't understand who the beneficiaries of the policy who are being singled out are supposed to be, and I definitely understand what people are supposed to comply with the culture check.
This. While tuition was much higher by the time I went to school (though lower than American schools...I think tuition for me, including room and board was probably $15-18K (Canadian) at most in the late 90s/early naughts), my parents paid for all four years and part of it for grad school (thanks to a scholarship and living at home). And yes, despite that, I'm told the exact same thing you've been told. What about trying to understand how my immigrant parents worked hard so they could provide that for me? Or how my dad grew up only a few notches above the poverty line in post WWII Hong Kong and still managed to get through not only high school, but undergrad and two master's degrees, including an MBA which took him almost too long to earn? And how he was able to climb the corporate ladder to a high executive level in finance? Why only tell me that I'm an "over-privileged (private school) brat?" I get that I'm much more advantaged than a lot of people, but maybe take the time to understand how my family got there? And how their bilingualism DID put them at an advantage (rather than tell me that my family needs to "decolonize?")? The criticism only separates us rather than bringing us together.
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26 minutes ago, Anela said:
This is why these notes at the top of threads, won’t help anything. Did someone tell you this? 💙
Just the whole "culture check" thing confuses me a lot. Some things put me in the so-called "mainstream" while other issues do not. And I have never thought I was ever marginalized in any way (people seem to expect me to think that I am due to ethnicity). I actually dislike that term when it applies to ethnic background unless there's a very specific disadvantage, like language (e.g. my late grandparents needed the help of my parents to navigate some specialized medical services because they didn't speak English well and a specialist in the specific area they needed care for wasn't available in Cantonese (their primary care doctor was a Cantonese speaker)).
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Regarding the culture shock thing: so I’m no longer allowed to talk about a peeve I have with older (immigrant) family members who don’t respect my boundaries or how my idea of boundaries don’t fit someone whose family has been been here for generations because it’s not appropriate? Or that I’m too “colonized” to want to set boundaries? All of this gives me a headache. Wait, am I even allowed to say that?
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2 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:
The most bizarre short person comment I got was when I met someone with whom I had worked with over the phone for years. Upon meeting, she said, "You don't SOUND so short." Like small people are supposed to sound like we're huffing helium? WTF?
Yep. Apparently we're either supposed to sound like Munchkins or very young children (it's the voice I like to call Hong Kong Valley Girl/vocal fry. A certain segment of young (and now, middle aged!) women from Hong Kong speak with a certain tone which I think started in the 80s. I saw it on imported TV shows and movies when I was young).
3 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:Not just smaller people.
Well, we know we're not supposed to make comments on larger people if that's what you mean. But we smaller people are a free-for-all.
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1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:
Where do these people get the idea that they can make comments about a part of someone else's body? I've never told another person, "Wow! You have huge feet!" or, "Gee, your hands are enormous!".
People seem to think it’s fine to make comments on smaller people for some reason. But only if they don’t have dwarfism.
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S10.E10: Viewers Like You
in Finding Your Roots With Henry Louis Gates Jr.
Didn’t they tell David Chang (did you hear about his controversy? Let’s not get into that here) they were able to trace back thousands of years in Korea?