Caoimhe

I am SO sorry, I can’t even imagine the pain of being left behind for any holiday at such a young age. While my parents and siblings were alive holidays were good, maybe this is the a consequence of being “last one standing”. My brother who died most recently hosted us for all the holidays and his wife is continuing to include us, only she and her new partner have been “adopted” into the cousins’ family so they get invited to everything and I need to stop letting that hurt me. I really hate that for so many people the holidays are painful and difficult whether it’s being left out or being pulled in too many directions. If only I could hibernate and avoid Thanksgiving / Christmas *AND* Winter!

I really want to think the missing dinner invite was after they knew we were invited elsewhere and had already accepted. What bothers me most is no text saying “they’re coming over later Thursday for dessert why don’t you come along too” or even my sister in law saying “we’re going over later after dinner you’re welcome to join us”. I’m socially inept so I should look at this in a positive way, there will be many strangers as I’ve only ever met two of my cousins’ (host family and siblings) children and there are a dozen between them all. The virtual hugs help.

There is an extended family Thanksgiving dinner being planned. Cousins mentioned they were invited and looking forward to going which is good. We are invited to my late brother’s wife for dinner (she declined an invite to the big dinner for herself and partner) which is very kind and I look forward to. I (wrongly?) assumed if she had accepted then we might also have been invited to the big dinner. But then cousins said “yes and late brother’s wife and partner are joining us later for dessert”. Okay, I know they are close to the host and invited to a LOT of events at their home so this doesn’t surprise me. What really hurts is why did we not get an invitation to come later for dessert too? I don’t mind if we eat early so they can be on time for their later invitation but I’m the ONLY other cousin with no family left yet I feel like I’m not welcome there. No one has given any indication why they hate me or don’t want to include me (and politically the cousins who are invited are on the opposite side of the hosts and ourselves so it’s not that). It’s not a numbers issue because they have huge gatherings all the time. Which leads me to believe it’s a “me” issue after all and I must learn to be content with our solitary existence. My very lovely in-laws are in another country that doesn’t have Thanksgiving. (Sorry for the saga but as I have no friends I had to get it out somewhere!)

My husband plays golf with someone who requests absentee ballots for himself and his wife every election, he claims they never question him about it. The only other option here is in-person on the day - and today if you got through in an hour you did really well. We’re considering the absentee route from now on, today was a nightmare.

Even after 35 years together my husband finds it hard to accept that NO I will not attempt anything mentally taxing past lunch time. Ask me from 5am until to 1pm and I’ll be happy to help! When we had flex time in work I started at six am and finished at half two. It was heaven for a person like me.

For part of my secondary school years students were able to arrive for their first class and leave after their final one. I always chose the earliest ones, finished around lunch, then went to work. Others chose the later classes and didn’t come in until their first one. It did restrict what classes you could take but suited more students.

Anything Apple is expensive, silicone cases are $49! My phone is in a $35 clear Totallee case which thankfully has protected it through a number of falls (despite it being grippy)! I also have a glass screen protector and am on my second one for this year old phone. I don’t use them on my tablets but always keep the on my phones.

I have last year’s and a non-Apple case with tiny holes that don’t impact the sound quality at all for me. I have used Apple’s silicone cases in the past and NEVER had one peel apart. I don’t think I was particularly careful either (cracked a screen once and I shudder to think how often my current phone has hit the floor).

I hate naps because I know it means I’ll sleep even less the following night. I finally found some earbuds for side sleepers that are comfortable and wear them all night so while I still wake I turn on an audiobook every time and end up falling asleep again within the half hour I set the timer for. Otherwise my brain starts racing down the road of doom, gloom, hopelessness and every bad thing. Something about the dark makes everything feel worse.

One of our DVD players is dead but fortunately the second one still works. I have a pile of DVDs from home so I need one that can be hacked to play region 2 as well as region 1, these are nearly ten years old and I don’t look forward to dealing with all that again!

Not to mention that people who post these things were a lot younger then! I can look back fondly on the 1970s and 1980s but I was young enough not to worry about most of the bad news stories. I still wouldn’t give up today’s conveniences to go back.

I’ve no idea how or why I had it but went on holiday with Barchester Towers (in the early 1980s) and still remember how I laughed and enjoyed reading it. I went on to read the entire Barsetshire series and the Palliser books as well. I’ve seen the television adaptations of both but always go back to the books and audiobooks. At the moment I’m listening to The Way We Live Now audiobook and have He Knew He Was Right up next when I finish that.

This is what my parents did. (My siblings weren’t unhelpful but regularly asked them for money.) Every time I came to visit they paid for many things and when I objected they would say it was to make things a bit more even.

I once pushed back asking what “potential” this was and how they determined that I was not working up to it. Never got an answer.

Mine’s going to say “never worked to her potential”.