gonecrackers
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Posts posted by gonecrackers
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15 minutes ago, ctbabe said:
She set him up for failure. . I don't drink and smoke and I can't tolerate it but I decided to TEST my spouse to see how he would do even though Its my dealbreaker. HOW DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? You give someone the permission to do something you hate then you complain about it.. it either you hate it or not...
I have read most of the MAFS interviews and I have seen Derek admit that he was impatient and could have handled things better. From the interview, Derek hasn't lied about anything. He has been open abt everything. Even Rachel said he is authentic. He has been forthcoming abt his shortcomings. Even Pastor Cal, highlighted derek's issues and Derek retweeted the link. Abt the texting issue, he and Jaime cleared it on unfiltered.
Granted there seems to be a lot that wasn't shown regarding him as well & that's not shocking. I certainly never thought he was lying, although I was concerned about the text thing but okay that was settled. And he did ask if he could smoke. But I still don't see how she set him up for failure. She didn't offer the 'whatever it was' he was smoking; he lit up as often as he did by his own volition. I think the word 'test' was probably an unfortunate choice, as I think it was more of an observing type thing, rather than 'test'. I would be observing someone's behaviors & habits too, especially in that situation. I wonder if he ever admitted his mishandling to Heather; it seems like they'd be on better terms if he was more openly contrite with her.
Since they purposefully coupled someone with a fear of dogs to a two dog owner (& not one 'expert' has yet to explain that), maybe they ignored the 'occasional' here, or something else, to put these two together to create this drama, but it blew up in their faces since she wouldn't play the game with them, like Sonia seems to be doing.
They obviously love drama, & are really milking this one, as well as gotten everyone talking. Mission accomplished.
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48 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:
Anfisa's reaction to his criminal past was hysterical, "well at least he didn't kill anyone." Bwahahah.
In other words, 'he'll do until someone better comes along', or, he gets tired of her abuse, or, he runs out of cash.
49 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:Nurse Narkyia and her prince, are you kidding me??? What in the world? She seems a bit desperate for a husband but does she realize that he will be around her son and is not a good role model for her son, she needs to protect her money so she can take care of her son, her friends should kidnap her till she snaps out of it.
I actually like her & wish she'd snap out of this - it will be very bad for her son too. She's got a life, a good job - whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?? ugh
48 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:Alla will be on lock down as soon as she says "I do." She will regret this marriage but will stick with it because of her son and the life he can have here.
Again, until she finds something better. I have no idea why she'd trust this guy with her son though & it bothers me a bit.
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1 hour ago, jenrising said:
But that's his version of the story, and as we've seen, Derek filters everything that happens between them through his "I'm open and wonderful and she's not fair to me" POV.
Yep. The so-called "test" was a chance to see if it was going to be a problem. Her trying to be open-minded. But then if he smoked every single day it would become clear this wasn't a casual thing but a serious habit. There's a world of difference between the two.
Exactly. It's not like she set him up for failure. He went ahead & did what he was going to do &, maybe, what he normally does. She didn't know him at all so she needed to see what he would do to figure out IF this was going to be an issue or not. When she brought it forward as an issue, he became defensive & nasty, again showing his true colors.
Honestly if someone were to show me the worst of them right away (or at least something I couldn't deal with), then I'd see it as a blessing. This doesn't get dragged out with more chances to hurt each other.
The show won't let them move on & is making Heather out to be the evil one because it's their failure, not the couple, not even Derek's. It's the failure of the show & they can't stand it that someone said this is not right & I'm out.
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5 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:
That said, I'm not 100% buying Lilly's sainted attitude either. She may act like she's not disappointed at all, but some of that may be to save face and not reveal her true feelings on camera or to him. She is trying to keep things positive but I think deep down she has her reservations about Tom's true level of commitment.
Lilly commented a few times that she tends to do a lot for people & it's not appreciated - something to that affect. I can see already that she really does go out of her way to be thoughtful & put in that little 'extra'; she also said she 'appreciates everything Tom does' for her.
I understand what she's saying, & hope she's going to be okay with 'everything' he does even if it's not a lot, & that it doesn't end up being another situation where she feels she's always giving & not getting back. He does seem to want to really spend time with her, which is important. That will be great for them if the interest lasts.
On the work issue, yes, definitely important, but partners can't be ignored & expect the relationship to thrive. That said, I think if she makes the effort to put the laptop & phone down when she can, & give him some focused attention, then he'll have his needs filled up & she'll be able to get her work done. If not then he's just too needy & that's another problem.
I agree she has concerns about Tom's level of commitment, at least from what they're showing; unless of course it's production drama.
Time will tell with them.
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3 minutes ago, auntjess said:
Ah, I hadn't heard this. Did they not pay, or overstay what they paid for?
I wish I could find it, but it said that some venues were not allowing it to be filmed there anymore - my guess is it had to do with the critiquing of the venues by the brides. If the venue was obviously on Four Weddings but the wedding didn't do well maybe it was cutting into some business. It's a guess, though.
Hopefully that's wrong or maybe it wasn't enough venues to cause them to stop filming.
I did notice in the Canadian ones seeing certain venues more than once.
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Definitely 'you got some 'splainin' to do'
Also, 'what are you, crazy or somethin'?'
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In the 'Men are Messy' episode, I think it was, & she's turned the apartment into a total wreck when the photographer was coming over, this is one of my son's favorite lines...
Ricky - "This place is a regular pigpen!"
Lucy - "It ain't a regular one, but it'll do."
On the plane on the way home from Europe & she's got that huge cheese wrapped up like a baby; Ricky won't sit with her when he finds out. I love it when he says "I am not the father of that cheese!"
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One of my favorites is the Straw Hat song - not sure if that's the name, but Ricky dances with the club's older cleaning lady & it's really adorable.
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Chiming in as I always loved watching Four Weddings; I still have many saved on my DVR. I think I read they were having some trouble filming them as the venues were starting to kick them out. I guess even if they don't show the name of the place if it's recognized & was critiqued badly it hurts their business, so they've banned filming at some reception halls.
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1 minute ago, ctbabe said:
Why TEST someone with something she hayes that much and it's the dealbreaker? That's so wrong..
I kind of get that - she didn't know him at all so maybe she just left it to him to see what he thought of as occasional. Daily, to me, especially waking up to it everyday, is an addiction & is not occasional. If anything I'd love to see the questions they answered because usually they somewhat define it, like, once or twice a week, once a day, etc.
I could've been okay with Derek if he hadn't been so nasty in his lashing out. Except for her 'classy' comment, she hasn't once insulted him to his face (that we've seen), to the 'experts', or in any TH's. He, however, was lashing out not just about her but was insulting to all women. As far as I know he never apologized for anything. Did he ever even take any responsibility for the breakdown of the process between them, because I missed it if he did. All I've seen of him besides the behavior I already mentioned has been him moping, whining & complaining about Heather. I understand if he was hurt, but how someone handles difficult emotions says a lot about their character.
I think I would've left too just because I would not want to be yelled at anymore. They're strangers & he's already comfy yelling at her; who wants to deal with that toxicity? No one, I think, except for Sonia I guess...
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13 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:
I actually find Jamie's speech more annoying. She over-enunciates yet talks like she's got her jaw wired shut. Plus the way she says "shtraynger" is the most annoying of all. IMO, of course!
Imagine them hosting a show together - new torture method?
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2 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:
And I laughed over his comments in the car about wanting to be a gay cowboy on the ranch, to see if Lily was listening to him. I've done stuff like that so it was funny to me.
That was great... he seems to have a good sense of humor. She might be a bit more serious but that could make for a good balance. I read somewhere relationships tend to work better when the man is more lighthearted & the woman is more on the serious side. Hopefully it works for them.
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^ITA... I have soft spot for Loren given I'm a special needs mom. Maybe she was a bit catered to growing up but I also understand the protective tendency that may have been there. She should try to avoid the negatives on SM AMAP & get a bit stronger; the world is just miserable at times under the best of circumstances. She seems to have a strong support system around her so she can lean on them a bit.
Her empathy toward his situation does impress me as well; they both chose to marry knowing the situation. One was going to have a big sacrifice & it seemed like he was okay with it. He may just be very homesick but returns with her anyway. He also seems to really love her. I thought it was great that he was encouraging her to accept herself as she is; he obviously does & seems supportive. I hope they do well together.
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5 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:
im telling you..david from last season. OMG it would have been perfect!!
Maybe, but, bit of a location issue there. :)
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1 hour ago, sleepyjean said:
Oh, it does seem like the best of intentions, but I question his methods. Matt seems like the type to jump right into "I'm the Dad now and you will do as I say" mode without really considering/understanding anything about kids that age.
My parents never divorced, but I had a lot of friends who went through it when they were in elementary/junior high school, and in most of the cases, when the custodial parent remarried, my friends resented the hell out of the step mom/step dad coming into the situation as an authority figure/disciplinarian. Bringing someone the kid didn't choose, and really didn't know very well into the house and saying this near stranger now lives with us and is now the boss of you, led to a lot of fighting. It was especially insufferable when the new step parent didn't have any kids, yet behaved as if they were the authority on child-rearing.
The scene where Max, Alla, and Matt were at the table and Matt started correcting Max's behavior while Alla said nothing made me cringe. I don't think Alla sitting back while Matt critiques her parenting and then steps in to make/enforce the rules is the most effective approach to this kind of situation. They've only been living there a few weeks. Alla is the one who should be correcting her kid, and she and Matt clearly need to get on the same page with respect to child rearing.
(Disclaimer: I don't have children, so I could be talking out of my butt. My opinion is based solely on observation.)
I do have kids & agree with you on this. I'm thinking it's a difficult situation all around for the step parent and child, but maybe the better way to handle it would be let the actual parent do the disciplining (unless there's an immediate safety or other important issue & the parent isn't there at the time) , & concentrate on trying to form a good relationship with the child. If there's an issue the step can take it to the parent in private, & then work it out with the child. But I don't have step parent experience so I'm just grasping as well.
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11 hours ago, peaceknit said:
That party, lol. First off, that little boy that was there, so out of place! There were no other children or any kind of entertainment for him. This was an adult party, everyone was drinking, and the boy was sitting there, taking it all in.
Forgot the party - to me it was more of a 'get together' than a party, & it was not an appropriate place for the boy. My guess is he was there for the excitement of being on TV, but it was not a good call by anyone for him to be there.
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Heather & Derek fulfilling their contract obligations I understand, but how much of the bitch edit can they milk on this show with her? There's no balance here at all - not even trying. They're sitting on the couch together & they show Derek smiling several times yet it's all serious with her expressions - I find it hard to believe she didn't crack even the slightest smile that whole time. It was very contrived with tons of bad edits, & as a viewer I really resented the whole scene.
Now next week we get to see Derek moving on - was that a date or a friend? He's still technically married so hopefully it's the latter; at least let the body get cold. And of course she says he's marriage material - does she even know him? Who knows but they certainly enjoy painting Derek in the best possible light. On the other hand Heather has a 'friend' saying she comes off as pretentious. My opinion is she needs new friends; she certainly doesn't have any related to the show, that's for sure. Hopefully, she can forgive herself for ever signing up for this dog & pony show in the first place.
Nick is saying all the right things but I still think he put the truth out there in the cruelest way, & what's done is done. This is being milked too; I agree with the posters saying this is for the benefit of the show & the 'experts', not Nick & especially not Sonia. Maybe they'll have a friendship of some sort in the end, at best, but maybe not even.
I did like Nick's friend, but again people are going on the 'there is something to work with here' assumption, & some things are just not salvageable. Dr. Pepper has her own agenda & needs to just stop it.
From observing Tom & Lillian I feel like IF this isn't contrived show stuff (always have to put that disclaimer there), it's more of a love language issue. Sonia can lend them her book on love languages as I think she was reading that on her honeymoon; maybe it will help them instead. I'm impressed with Lilly & her thoughtfulness, & I do believe Tom is touched as well, but that may just not be his forte. She seems more Type A; he's laid back, but both can have their place.
What impresses me about Tom is his really wanting to spend time with Lilly. Yes she needs to work & I admire her diligence, but in the end the gift of our time is the best gift people can get, & that is something many partners who don't get will be envious of her with Tom. That time together will nurture their relationship & help it grow. Continuing to give each other first place can make the difference between falling apart as a couple or longevity in the marriage. It's about priorities, & balance. No one's perfect & we can't get everything from one person. My personal opinion is that time spent apart doing what needs to be done won't be much of an issue IF they are also giving each other focused time together. That will probably go farther for the marriage than giving gifts, even thoughtful ones. Well, that's my take on them.
Otherwise it was kind of snoozer...
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Won't be able to see this until tomorrow but noticed on Twitter Sonia is trying to get on Ellen - she asked for a retweet to 'get Sonia on Ellen'; sounds like for her non profit. Now helping non profits that are doing good (not commenting on hers as I know nothing about it), is not in itself a bad thing, however, I still feel they had a deal here, as this 'match' was just too weird. Soooo, go on reality show, get insulted, get tons of sympathy & SM love, (possibly) get on Ellen for exposure... for the non profit. Workin' it, is all I'm saying.
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I just saw the latest, & had to laugh when Danielle was roller skating with Gabe & said she didn't want to 'look like a fool'. I immediately thought looking foolish while skating should be the least of your worries lady.
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Many times I've felt I needed subtitles for both Sonia & Nick; I just often have trouble understanding them. And when I can understand Sonia, it's a bit 'fingernails on the blackboard-ish' to me. If I were her teacher I'd probably say "Are you asking me a question, or trying to tell me something?" And to Nick, "Please take the marbles out of your mouth when you're speaking."
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2 hours ago, seacliffsal said:
And, I think that she is so used to getting what she wants that when she can't manipulate a situation she lashes out as when she shoved Azan because he wasn't giving her what she wanted. I do not think she has a mental disability, I think she is completely self-centered and used to manipulating others to achieve what she wants. I also think Azan is getting more than he bargained for which delights me to a degree as he probably thought he would be able to manipulate her in order to get to the U.S.
She's officially moved from verbal abuse (not letting someone even talk-just wow), to physical abuse. That would be intolerable if it were him, & that goes both ways.
She may be a narcissist, as she completely lacks empathy & it is always all. about. Nicole.
He found a winner, for sure LOL.
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25 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:
Sonia is more platable than Jamie.
True, but Sonia's speech is very irritating (in my opinion of course).
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Nicole posted something on Twitter about at one point she & Azan were laughing & having a great time, but that 'they' didn't show that & 'hmm'. She also seems to have started a health regimen with good foods, veggies & exercise.
Makes me wonder if they still have a relationship & he's been influencing her that way, or, she was rejected so is now 'self improving'.
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29 minutes ago, mrsh said:
I really feel bad for Azan, yes he's most likely using Nicole for the green card but if he actually sticks this out he deserves the green card. Nicole is an immature child. Azan kept trying to explain to her that the affecfion she wants is inappropriate in Morocco and she wouldn't listen. Nicole has issues that she needs to work on, and she behaves like a petulant child. I really feel sorry for her daughter.
I don't know why he'd even want to be stuck in the same country as her. Maybe if there weren't cameras following them around he'd be acting differently; a lot less tolerant, & maybe she'd have been on a plane back to the states by now.
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S04.E11: To Love And To Cherish
in Married At First Sight
There's pressure there for both Nick & Sonia to work this out. I don't really think they want to or would be together if left to themselves. It's probably because of Heather leaving the marriage so now they need the other 2 couples to at least make it to decision day.
Of which is going to be laughable. 'Sonia, do you want to stay married, or get a divorce?' What she should say- 'Are you for real, like, seriously?'
Nick sits there like 'whut?'
It's really nasty how they're pairing women with unstable men, then expecting them to stay & if they don't they are pegged 'not committed to the process' - The men act like they gave it their all & the women are the problem - oh puleeeze, what nonsense.