Uncle JUICE
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Posts posted by Uncle JUICE
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With a preference sheet that complicated, every day there should have been a meeting between Fraser (head of interior) and the chef, that basically put down on the white board a spreadsheet of who's eating what at each meal, to make sure it matched up. Instead they just flew by the seat of their pants. Bad idea.
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This dude Dylan is just crazy to watch work, man. I promise you every woman who ever fell for his looks regretted fucking him within a couple of days. He's absolutely insufferable and lost. Is it possible he's in a Resident Alien situation? It's inexplicable how off putting he is.
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My favorite part of this interminable episode was the new pretty boy trying to work the new stew. He fucks this up so badly I feel like he needs to wear a helmet just to walk around. Paraphrasing:
Him: "So, you're named Paris, but you're from Australia?" [off to a REAL bad start here]
Her: "Yup."
Him: "How unusual! Weird! You should have been named like..." [this is where the wheels fly off and the train smashes out of station like that Montparnesse picture from the thirties] "...Croc or something." [I'm aghast. WHY NOT JUST SAY SIDNEY! THAT'S ACTUALLY A CITY THERE] Then content about Steve Irwin. It was so gross to watch.
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Maybe the worst episode that didn't feature alcohol or over sexual assault.
This group of guests are the worst kind of ignorami: the kind who think they're experts on EVERYTHING and can't wait to make you know it. If you wanted brazilian steakhouse and brazilian dancers, GO TO FUCKING BRAZIL. That steak looked gorgeous, and he took pieces he knew weren't to his preference will full foreknowledge that more well done pieces were coming, then turned his nose up like a baby.
"We want a big gay breakfast..." Definitely want that clarified, but you know as well as I do the answer would have been "Well, we want you to interpret that in your own way, as an artiste!" and thereby every answer was wrong. He should have just made a big breakfast and told them "Well, this breakfast is pretty friggin gay, with Sandy here, there's like seven gay people at this table."
Do all super yachts stock inflatable dicks and cock shaped cake pans? Did she call into provisioners especially for that?
The big controversy: Max won't apologize for Sandy getting bizarrely mad at his saying there's nothing for him to eat. The adult way to handle it is "Ask the chef," and when he says no, the conversation is over. You don't want to ask the chef to make you something, and you don't want any leftovers that are available, I guess you're not so hungry. Trust me he won't starve before the next meal. And Max, no one cares if you're excited to wash the dishes. Complain while you scrub, asshole.
ETA I hate this show and I hate myself for watching it.
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This show was absolutely boring as hell. It's an absolute shit show from the crew to these intolerable guests, including bargain bin Harvey Weinstein. What kind of asshole adult goes anywhere and starts throwing things at another adult? I swear to god this show is the best anti-alcohol ad ever made.
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I want the next charter to be full of dudes in their fifties, insisting that the female crew members all strip as part of their evening entertainment. Nobody better say a fucking word, either.
It's disgusting regardless of the gender, everyone. And not because people who take off their clothes for a living are doing anything wrong. You sign up to be on a yacht to park the boat, to clean the deck, to put out pool toys no one wants to use. Well within your rights to say "I'm sorry, but taking off my clothes for you isn't really in my job description." It's fucking gross, the level of entitlement these rich-ish (you know so few of them have real money, this show is a way to fake as if you do even if you're 'just' a millionaire) twats, and not a one of them was like "These people are young enough to be my grandson." You want to go to a strip club, fairly certain you can find one on your vacation. Let them wash the fucking windows and work.
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I like how confused attractive people like Nat get whenever someone else is finally sick of what a terrible personality they have. And it's not limited to Nat, it's just the latest episode. It happens all the time to the guys, too, in this franchise, they're used to just being hot and getting around obstacles that way. Once all that capital is spent, people realize you're just an unusually attractive asshole and they cannot figure out what to do next, they're entirely unequipped.
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On 10/6/2023 at 7:04 PM, Anduin said:
If you want to reduce it to mere biology, sure. I prefer to see it as something mystical, the way it was in ESB. Either way, Sabine believed and made it work.
Major issue here for me, maybe this board can help. If the Force is essentially a biological component, and anyone who believes hard enough, regardless of actual biological force sensitivity, can USE the force as we say here...then what's the point of going to the Jedi academy, exactly? What do they do that's special, besides apparently swear off relationships and act like know-it-alls even though they got absolutely PLAYED by Palpatine for like two decades. It seems like only the haughtiest assholes would succeed at the Jedi Academy.
4 minutes ago, tv-talk said:The problem is they didnt really do Sabine's story either. If you've not seen rebels then Sabine came off as almost traitorous when she made deal with Baylin. And at the least just awful for putting her desire to possibly see Ezra again (he may have been dead for all she knew) ahead of...the entire galaxy.
The show did young Ahsoka...should have done young Sabine as well to fill out the character so viewers could relate with her actions.
Hey, at least she and Ezra had that poignant conversation about this decision, about its ramifications on the sacrifice Ezra made, on the implications now that Thrawn has escaped exile which he couldn't have done without Sabine, how Ezra's pretty pissed, etc...
Oh wait, sorry, that didn't happen in the show. Sorry! :)
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On 10/8/2023 at 7:44 PM, Kel Varnsen said:
Also come on Republic fleet, if you just let any random ship dock inside your main ship with a general on it without even identifying themselves you deserve to lose to the First Order.
For.
Fucking.
REAL. Particularly after Elsbeth was freed, I mean you think you'd look at some of your practices and make some modifications. "Guys, why is (a) a General leading a welcome party for an unknown ship of Imperial origin with an apparently malfunctioning transponder, and (b) our standard procedure "report to the ship with guns drawn," I mean there has to be a better way to do this!"
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1 hour ago, magdalene said:
Another disappointment is Thrawn himself as a villain for me after he was so hyped up by fans. One note evil and no layers in his performance. I get it - he sacrifice anything and anyone to get what he wants. Yawn.
This is a major problem, because this is actually what the show Thrawn behaves like. The character originally is far, far more interesting. But his main tactic seems to be "acceptable losses" and that's supposed to translate into tactical genius. I feel like the Night Sisters would have had some strong reactions to his destruction of their temple, that's not something book Thrawn would have done. He'd have just left. No turbolasers to take out some folks on horseback, in fact he wouldn't have even bothered with that. Book THrawn would have just said "Let's close and seal all doors in the main staircase while the engines warm up."
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Whoo boy.
On balance, this show landed where I needed it to: above Kenobi, below Mando 1/2. In other words, it's decent, but it's not compelling, and I found this finale frigging deflating. In hindsight Ray Stevenson ends up entirely wasted, having no lines in most of the last two episodes, it's the one miss I can't really blame anyone but the fates for.
Everything else, problematic. It leans far too heavily on stuff that can only be known from watching Rebels, which is unfair as this show was pitched as a standalone. Can someone point me to the episode where they explain the Mortis gods? There isn't one. So Baylan standing on those two Argonath (I love that no one is calling them anything but that), it doesn't land like I think the show thought it would. Shin's going to join / lead a band of raiders; what exactly are they meant to raid? Those turtles? Who wants whatever they have??? WHAT FOR? The same can be said of the Night Sisters. In this show's frame of reference, there's nothing but "These Are The Night Sisters And They Work For Thrawn." So who the fuck are they and why should we care? What's this sword we've never heard of, and why is it so important? Never explained beyond "Needed to get a night sister to have a lightsaber so we could see a rematch of a fight we never saw and didn't ask for, while better and more interesting opponents are still on the board."
Is Thrawn a tactical genius? Where's the show's evidence? A tactical genius would have forgotten about the jedi he's stranding on the planet completely, and just taken off! He even is quoted in the recap saying it doesn't matter if they die or they're stranded, but he still futzes around sending resources after them.
Why is Ezra so important? Never explained. As someone pointed out above, his escape, from Super Genius Thrawn's capital ship, is executed entirely off screen!!! If you're going to do that sort of shit, then leave him aboard the Chimera until next season, which should probably have just started with the Chimera dropping out of hyperspace in the proper galaxy.
Sabine goes from "the least talented Jedi candidate" Huyang's seen in 25000 years to basically superb force user in a space of about two screen minutes. Honestly what's the point of the Force in general, and the Jedi specifically, if using the Force is this easy to pick up? What exactly did this pay off?
THis show doesn't do lightsaber fights well, either. Rosario Dawson, whose performance really grew on me, might be getting done dirty here by production, but the saber fighting looks slow and stodgy with her. THe woman who played Morgan is a martial artist and her action showed it. Rosario Dawson is tentative and stiff looking by comparison. Her fight with Baylan was far better because he too was slow and brutish.
Good season, bad bad bad finale.
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5 hours ago, paigow said:
This could be like Prison Break dressing Scofield in long sleeves to minimize makeup time...
It's a good practical possibility, but honestly how much makeup time could the arms take in comparison to the face? And if it's that big a deal, then make sleeves. The cloak makes her look slow, it hides the movement, and the whole enterprise feels weirdly unathletic. I know you can't expect a real life person to fight with the athleticism and grace that the character showed in the last duel with Maul, but this is closer to watchin Old Ben Kenobi than it is to watching peak Obi Wan Kenobi.
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9 hours ago, Athena5217 said:
I feel like almost nothing happens in these episodes. It’s taken 7 episodes for everyone to get to this galaxy. I know stuff has happened but mostly it just resets. For example, Hera got into trouble with the Senate, but Leia saves her. Reset. Always nice to see C-3PO though.
Disagree here. I hated seeing Threepio, and it's not because I don't like him as a character, I like him just fine. I just don't need to constantly be reminded that this entire universe revolves around four people, all the time. It's such a giant space, and we have multiple, multiple instances of stories working sans Skywalkers. I wasn't even big on the Anakin holo, nice for the Christiansen Redemption Tour (deseed, by the way). It just makes for too many timeline questions, and questions like "Why would he have recorded this exactly in this way?
Also STOP FIGHTING IN YOUR CLOAK. It couldn't look less dynamic.
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Perhaps for the more REbels /Clone Wars veterans, but if you watched Kenobi you'd know what I'm talking about. I'd like to know which Inquisitor it was that invented the weedwhacker lightsaber and used it with such success that the rest of the corps was like "YASSSSSSSS! That's our squad's official weapon for sure," because whenever you switch on the "rotate" feature, you always end up getting your ass whooped. I can't even figure out how it would be advantageous, I mean I guess you can throw it, but I've never seen that work either. ANd to hit your opponent with the spinny parts, they have to be within arm's length, no? Otherwise aren't you ALSO getting weedwhacked? Stupid ass weapon. Even stupider when that one dude flew away on his on Malecore, only to get shot down like the asshole he was.
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It's also because the dining room on that boat is straight up depressing because you can't see the water from anywhere. It's like a conference room. I wouldn't want to eat in there either if I were on a private yacht charter.
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God I want to love this show so hard. But this episode makes me worry. What is even the point of shooting at a space ship with your space ship if 1200 hits don't do anything? And I wish they'd have shown the meeting where Shin returned to the mother ship thing and said "I almost took her out, dang it" and Balon and Morgan were like "Aw, no big deal, you blew up her ship when it was disabled, right?"
"No, she was outside of the ship so I just thought we should shoot at her specifically."
Balon looks frustrated. "Wait, what? Get those other four guys you and Morok had in here, I want to hear their version."
"She lightsabered their ships and they're now dead."
"WHAT? Hang on, she sliced a fighter in half with her...what setting do you have YOUR lightsaber on, exactly?"
And also hated the whole "Now get me!" thing. Bitch, you have the Force! USE THE GOD DAMN FORCE. This is ahsoka Tano, the woman who froze Maul mid flight from that Venator cruiser in the masterful last moments of TCW. Would have been far more badass for her to use what's clearly serious Force powers to smash those ships together and then frightening off Shin and Morok.
Dialogue is starting to trouble me, too. Like Filoni is getting a little high on his own supply. So many lines just sound like placeholders that a tiny tune up could improve drastically. "I wanna be a Jedi," for example. TOo on the nose.
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I refuse to look it up. Dafuq is a Slim Aarons theme? And how on earth would anyone know how to build a party around it? I hate these theme parties so badly. But at least these people weren't crazy dickwads.
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7 minutes ago, FierceCritter said:
I love Ahsoka and have been eagerly anticipating this show. And I'm not ordinarily very quick to critique.
But the pace was pretty slow, and that was disappointing. Even the dialogue... had lots of....
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Weird pauses.
I'm totally not looking for SuperFastConstantAction. But the conversations could move along a little more realistically time-wise.I can't explain the weird pauses, but I concur that there were sequences (the cuddling of the temple that opened the show, for one, Sabine's squinting at the hologram to figure it out as another) that went on a little too long. As to the slow and somewhat expository pace, do you think maybe that's because they can't assume everyone knows who these people are? We have an existing relationship with these characters, and I think their biggest challenge is to hook those that don't. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just trying to find the why.
As to the map thing, GREAT POINTS. How would that have even worked, I guess who cares, it's a macguffin, and hopefully we never go back to it, but there's still a scene where she fights baylen under one of those maps, soooo....
Andor would have found someone from THrawn's flagship and tortured the fuck out of them to find out :)
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1 minute ago, Anduin said:
Ahsoka was right there to provide Force healing, and her ship would have medical supplies too.
Also, I may be conflating the Force with something that can happen in my own stories, but could Ahsoka peer into Sabine's mind and get the details of the map? I think it's a Star Wars thing, but I'm not sure.
Agreed on the idea of medical supplies (not all Jedi can Force heal, so I don't want to assume that), but either case, you can get there without using the lightsaber and diluting its power / lethality, that's my point. Minor nitpick, not the end of the world, but it always bothers me. Sometimes a lightsaber can melt a steel door, sometimes it slices a hand off, other times it's basically an epee and barely stings.
As to Sabine's mind, yes, I think Ahsoka would be able to read it, but only what's there. In other words, I don't think she can go beyond what Sabine 'knows', and since Sabine only saw a cluster of stars and a line, not a starting point that they can use, then I don't think the map view would do a whole lot of good from this perspective. If she'd said "Oh, I know that planet!" then you'd have a chance. Ren could only see that Rey saw the map, for example, in force awakens, he couldn't use that second hand vision to fill in enough details because Rey didn't know them. I think :).
Also, knock it off with maps now Star Wars. Stop making me think of Rise of Skywalker.
2 minutes ago, Eliza422 said:I’m sure not all non-animated show watchers will feel that way, but the gist of the plot of THIS show is straightforward so far.
sure, I can tell there is fan service going on, but it’s not really something I need to delve into to understand the main story.
This is something that really interests me, the perspective of the non-animated show watcher. I watched the two big ones plus the short ones. I don't think the entirety of Clone Wars is required viewing for this one, but Rebels would be helpful to understand the connections. I'm glad it's not required, though.
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8 hours ago, Dani said:
Crazy to realize that most of the things in the promos was in these two episodes.
I think this is a really good sign for me as a fan, because it leaves a lot to learn over the next X number of episodes that we haven't seen.
24 minutes ago, baldryanr said:And yeah, that's quite the assumption about all ex-Imperials being completely indifferent to who's in power, especially since they were in charge for 20 years. That's an entire generation who grew up without the Old Republic.
This is twice in two series now they've gone to this insane well. I get that Imperials might be of varying levels of war criminals, and that you need worker bees to run the Republic, but jesus, New Republic, maybe NOT at anyplace where there is military crossover, or anything of value, huh? Like can't they just be speeder bike mechanics or teachers or something with less catastrophic consequences if they're actually disloyal?
My thoughts: this was like watching my daughter learn to ride her bike ten years ago. I was exhilarated, but whenever I recognized that feeling in the moment, like in the sequence on Corellia, I couldn't help the "yeah, but please just don't fall and smash your face into a curb," you know what I mean? Such a good start and god damn it I want all of these lego sets now.
I don't need this show to be as good as Andor. I need it to be better than Kenobi, and I'll be devastated if it's Boba Fett level bad. I'll be frustrated if it's Mando 3, and thrilled if it's Mando 2 level. I missed these characters so much. And Ray Stevenson was born to play Baylen, what a fucking shame he's no longer with us.
I also don't want to hear that Dawson's portrayal is no fun. It's not supposed to be fun. Ahsoka, in her life, was a child soldier, then accused of murder / sabotage and kicked out of her order, then her mentor becomes the biggest monster in the whole galaxy while most of her friends (the clone troopers) die after she and Maul destroy the ship they're on...I mean she's been through some shit.
33 minutes ago, baldryanr said:Fortunately for our heroes getting impaled with a lightsaber isn't nearly as lethal as it used to be.
Huge pet peeve here. If getting run through a vital organ with a lightsaber doesn't kill someone almost instantly, then what's the point of the lightsaber exactly? THe shit can melt METAL. If you need to incapacitate a character with less than lethal force, it's as easy as don't use a lightsaber to do it. I hated this in Kenobi, too, like REALLY hated it.
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3 hours ago, iMonrey said:
I guess Tzarina got over the fact that Joao supposedly screwed over her best mate. That was quick. I'd like to hear more about that.
All that made her girl code complaints about Jaimee (who honestly owes her nothing) a little weird, right? I thought girls wouldn't bang someone their friend banged. That's sort of bro code.
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Am I correct that the show doesn't list Joao (terrible name, sorry Joao Union) as a bosun but as first officer?
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24 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:
How about grown ups assess the interactions, read body language better and stop letting what you want it to be cloud the messages that have already been sent throughout your time you've spent together.
You can absolutely see that she and Harry have zero interpersonal chemistry, literally no spark. Most of it is because Harry's a weird dude, I can't put my finger on why. If I can see it, then believe me, as someone who's definitely been friend zoned, so can he. He needs someone to explain it to him, and it sucks that it's going to have to be Margot, probably by making out with someone else.
Thumbs up to your whole post though, I am sure it isn't as easy to do from a female perspective as it feels from the man's perspective. It's not as ruthless as all that. But you can save everyone all that awkwardness by just reading the room.
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Unrelated to sexual assault...
Do you guys ever notice when they get up to their inevitable drunken shenanigans at these restaurants, there's literally no one else acting the fool? They PRETEND it's some club they went to, but really they're mostly making noise in the bar area of a restaurant. I can't imagine being a person on vacation, eating a nice meal, then these bozos roll up, order 16 tequila shots and start taking off their clothes and dry humping each other. It's pretty fucking gross behavior.
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S11.E12: Bit of an Ick
in Below Deck
I forgot to complain about how nakedly producer driven their "theme night" was. What group of adults plans a lux vacation on a yacht and says "You know what? Let;s do this dinner where we all pretend to be celebrities on a red carpet, in like costumes with streamers and a ten foot long red carpet, and we'll ask the crew to set their phone alarms off so they look like flashbulbs, and we'll call it movie premier night!" or some shit. I mean seriously, what adult hears that plan and lets it get past 'red carpet' without stopping it and saying "That sounds dumb as fuck, no."
"Black and white party" or something like that I get, but seriously, nothing has looked THIS unnatural since they had Dildofest with Aesha barking like a dog in a gimp suit a couple of years ago. NO ONE WITH MONEY ACTS LIKE THIS.